Discuss. I've never been in a relationship so the answer is no for me.

Could you imagine circumstances under which you would cheat? And also what is considered cheating? Is cyber sex cheating? Is a drunken kiss (but nothing more) cheating? Is sexting cheating? Or only actual sex?

Yes, I have been cheated on, it is why I am once divorced.

Not that I know of.

How about you add the question of the people could imagine circumstances under which they would cheat? That'd make for an interesting discussion too. And also what is considered cheating? Is cyber sex cheating? Is a drunken kiss (but nothing more) cheating? Is sexting cheating? Or only actual sex? And so on...

Man the topics here get more and more sinister. When the shit here at WOKJ started in late 2004 we had topics like

Ape eating other Ape`s poop (by Arsi)
or
Loyal getting almost assraped by pygmies during one of his travels.

Loyal was not ALMOST assraped.

Have never cheated but have been cheated on once.

I guess I should also say the the girl I lost my virginity to also cheated on me. But I wasn't surprised by that.

No to the first question, not that I'm aware of to the second.

I was engaged to someone who started acting weird a few months into the engagement. Went and surprised her at her apartment and instead was surprised to see her draped on another guy.

Things turned out for the best though.

No and no

I ended my last relationship because I was going to end up cheating on her if I didn't.

For me, cheating is only cheating when your feelings are directed at another person other than your partner. So sexting, cyber sex, drunken kisses are all not cheating. Or they are. The act doesn't matter. It is about the feelings behind them. More often than not I think cyber sex and drunken kisses are just impulses. Other times they can have deeper motivation. But I believe that monogamy is just not meant to occur anyway. It is not natural. It is just a man-made concept that I stupidly subscribe to. If so many people cheat, it is because it is impossible to ignore these primitive urges.

Interesting. Definitely a very vaild perspective, though an unusual one for a guy to have. I am saying that because most studies in Psychology show as to what sort of cheating feels worse for a woman vs. a man. For a man, physical cheating - in general - seems like a worse thing, wherras the same studies show that for women cheating is worse when feelings are attached, even if the physical contact small. So, yeah, interesting.

The feelings are a tricky thing though. Again, do infatuation or a crush already count as feelings that are considerred cheating? I can imagine that after many years ina relationship, when the initial euphoria of being in love cools off, one is easier excited by something new/fresh, though it doesn't necessarily mean love.

I think it depends on the feelings you currently have with your partner. Let's call him/her "Subject A". If your feelings toward "Subject A" started as infatuation which lead to becoming partners, then another feeling of infatuation with another person could be considered cheating. If you love "Subject A", then feelings of infatuation or a crush towards another probably isn't cheating, it's just a phase, and it will pass. The love should win because that should be stronger - if it isn't, then it probably isn't love. But there are so many variables and way to cut it up.

I'd argue that almost every relationship and love starts with an infatuation or a crush. Sometimes it blossoms into more, sometimes it doesn't.

Yeah, that was what I meant. Started with infatuation but stays there as opposed to blossoming into love.

Algren is probably right that it depends on who the person is in relation to you, drunken making out with a stranger at a club is probably not cheating (although still not something you should do) but making out with your neighbour Karen is.

As to the thread question, well, it's really none of your business.

But I haven't had enough girlfriends and partners to have been in a position to cheat. When I get a girl, I cherish her because I ain't going to be having the opportunity again any time soon. It's not as if I am inundated with offers of casual sex. Who are these people that cheat all the time? I don't see how it would be possible. Perhaps alcohol has a lot to do with it, and as I don't drink I don't get all those perks. But I believe that the most important element of cheating is the desire to do so. Cheaters are looking to cheat. They don't just chance upon naked ladies in beds, beckoning them to lick their pussy. They hunt, and are constantly on the lookout for an upgrade, for the thrill, for more sex.

I would never. I don't know the details but I do believe I was heated on.

Yes... to both. It was high school. I did because I knew she was. Which is no excuse.
<----- Douche

With a radiator?

You get a pass cause u were still a kid

This is from someone who has never been in a position to cheat, but it seems to me the real issue with cheating is trust and not the actual cheating itself. Monogamy is a great idea that works for a lot of couples, but it makes some couples miserable. Rather than cheating or breaking up, it makes sense to me to talk to your significant other about your dissatisfaction and if it can't be worked out, sleeping with other people occasionally with knowledge and consent of the other partner shouldn't be a huge issue if it would make the couple happy and save a marriage.

Because marriage is great for the support system it provides, but sleeping with one person for 50+ years is crazy pressure. No wonder there are so many divorces due to cheating.

I'd say trust was the biggest factor for me. When I found out she was first cheating, we continued to try and work it out. But every second of every day it was on my mind. What isn't she telling me? It was just always there.

It is trust, yeah. I don't know from experience since I haven't been cheated on (that I know of), but I think that for me the damage would be irreparable.

Never cheated on anyone, but have been cheated on twice.