I think I'm even more appalled that they've tried shoving TWO non-existent showmances down our throats. Danielle is in love with a man I'm not certain isn't gay, while Ian is attracted to a cute girl... of course he is, he's a nerd.

It's insulting to them and to us.

If I could point out one last thing: no one except maybe Joe or Wil would have nominated anyone worthwhile. It's almost better if Frank won this week to put a bigger target on him and Mike. Someone HAS to nominate them next week. I hope it's Shane or Danielle, just so Britney isn't targeted.

This is the perfect week for Pandora's Box since its so predictable. Say someone in the house could switch the nominations...

Nah, save that for a week when Mike and Frank are nominated, give it to Mike and save the Golden Boys from eviction.

Yeah, you kidding? Grodner isn't going to waste some sort of Pandora's Box on a week where Joe or Wil is getting the boot, it'll probably be somehow used to keep Frank in the house for the eleventh time.

Anyone gonna do rankings for this week?

1. Britney
2. Dan
3. Ian
4. Danielle
5. Shane
6. Frank
7. Ashley
8. Wil
9. Mike "Boogie"
10. Joe
11. Jenn

I like the top three. Ian grew on me. I'm okay with Danielle and Shane. Frank would be a decent dude if not for affiliation with Mike. But I don't blame him. Ashley and Wil are just there. And I've decided I hate Jenn's useless invisible act and Joe's annoying SCREAMING more than Mike's BS. At least I hate Mike. I have no real feelings towards Joe or Jenn. But at least Ashley and Wil provide occasional humor. Joe and Jenn are nothing really.

Wait. Danielle as #4? SHE'S AWFUL. lol. I mean, she's entertaining, but she's insane and delusional.

Britney and Ashley are my favorites.

I really only like Britney, Dan and Ian. The rest are interchangeable, except for Mike, Joe and Jenn at the bottom.

Though Danielle is high for entertainment value alone. Insanity and delusions included. Wil and Ashley would be higher on my list if either one had lived up to their own entertainment purposes. And they're certainly not game players.

It kind of shines a light on a crappy year that a Shane is #5 on my list with 11 people in there.

In other amusing news:

How much you wanna bet the CBS shows ignore Frank and Ashley's date? They already went through so much trouble manufacturing the showmance that SO TOTALLY IS LIKE THE BIG BANG THEORY CAUSE LOOK GUYS, SHE'S BLONDE AND HOT AND HE'S A NERD!

I have to quote Entertainment Weekly's BB14 recap here: Ian and Ashley are just like that show about that one theory about that one bang that was big. I think the show is called "The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down."

Rankings right now:

1. Britney
2. Ashley
3. Ian
4. Dan
5. Shane
6. Joe
7. Danielle
8. Wil
9. Jenn
10. Boogie
11. Frank

I'm actually surprised at how much I've liked Ian as of late. Definitely a contrast from how annoying he was earlier.

Britney and Dan are my ideal final two, as I've said.

I just hope that:
a) Britney doesn't get played by a bunch of boys again, which seems like it could happen
b) Dan ditches Boogie at some point GROSS

This season would be unbearable without Britney, though. I know a lot of people hate her negativity and uneven gameplay but her snarky DRs are as good as ever (although maybe less mean this season with no Rachel to mock).

1. Britney
2. Dan
3. Ashley (dumb but funny)
4. Ian (awkward but harmless)
5. Shane (hot but dumb)
6. Danielle (SHE'S INSANE I hope she never leaves and has a meltdown)
7. Frank (I'd like him so much more if he wasn't Boogie's puppet)
8. Wil (catty but bad at the game, goodbye tonight)
9. Joe (STOP YELLING AT ME)
10. Boogie (hate hate hate)

I'm not even ranking Jenn because she's so invisible. She's giving Kathy a run for her money in the "useless" department.

Or Kalia last year

At least Kalia actually won a competition last year. Although she ended up using her HOH to get Lawon out of the house, and he was probably more useless than Jenn.

I forgot about Lawon And sure she won something but all I remember her doing is sleeping.

There needs to be a big epic blowup again to make this season interesting. Wonder if it will actually happen. I completely agree that Britney (and to a lesser extent Ashley) is singlehandedly making this season work thus far.

Britney is funny, smart and a good game player, a rare trifecta among any past or present players.

I feel like the jury's still out on calling her a "good game player," unfortunately. We all know she got totally snowed her first time out, and I think if she's not careful the same thing might happen again with Froogie and Dan. I would certainly love her to get shit done and make the finals, though.

I mean, I don't think her major slip-up in BB12 means she's not a good game player. Sometimes the best game players trust the wrong people.

I'm not saying she's the best ever, but it's refreshing when a female is actually playing the game, as opposed to Ashley and Jenn, floating their way through.

Wow, you can tell it was a dulllll week in that house with all the filler in this episode. A current events quiz? A mind-numbingly dull interview with Jeff?

Joe's wife was actually attractive and funny. And called him on being such an annoying LOUD PERSON. How did he bag her? And what the hell was going on with his weird pre-eviction speech?

Wil seemed so much more fun in the 30 seconds he was leaving the house than he ever was inside it. Bye.

I don't see any way Shane doesn't win this competition. I would be so pissed if I were Frank and I just had to watch stupid Boogie going for the $10k prize rather than trying for HOH (especially since Frank is probs the #1 target, again, this week). Also, lol at Ashley going slower than a snail's pace, poor girl.

And Shane definitely won't have trouble since it appears Dan and Britney are both going for the safety bowl. So his only competition is Danielle, Ian and Jenn. lulz

Double eviction next week! Yay, thinning the herd.

EARTH SHATTERING UPDATE (not really):

HOH