You Red Wings fans are delusional.

They lost to Dallas. To Dallas!

Doesn't matter. They're the most explosive team in the league with a few issues closing out games.

A few.

They lost to Colorado tonight as well. And the Avs haven't exactly been good this year.

The LOWEST they should be is 3rd.

the lowest the should be is 1st

Week 11

Note: before tonight's games.

Biggest riser: Toronto
Biggest dropper: Edmonton

01. Boston Bruins (24-5-4)
(up 1) - Takes the #1 spot with authority. Some cities have all the luck.
02. Chicago Blackhawks (18-6-7)
(up 1) - Man, firing Quenneville really did them some good, eh?
03. Detroit Red Wings (22-6-4)
(up 2) - That dominating performance against the Sharks is the reason they're here.
04. San Jose Sharks (26-4-3)
(down 3) - They seem to be coasting now, which is never good. I could see them getting bounced from the playoffs playing like this.
05. New Jersey Devils (19-9-3)
(up 2) - Martin who? Scott Clemmenson has more wins this season than he had in his entire career before.
06. Philadelphia Flyers (18-8-7)
(down 2) - Drop more by necessity than anything. They're still playing really well.
07. Washington Capitals (20-11-3)
(down 1) - Same for them. They didn't have a bad week, just not as good as the teams above them.
08. New York Rangers (22-12-2)
(no change) - Meh. I can't justify putting them any higher, despite how many points they have.
09. Vancouver Canucks (18-12-3)
(up 2) - Yet to be seen whether Sundin will be a game-changer, but he does make them instantly better.
10. Calgary Flames (18-11-4)
(up 3) - Fucking Flames!
11. Montreal Canadiens (18-9-6)
(down 2) - So-so week. They were all poised to rise until that loss to Carolina.
12. Pittsburgh Penguins (17-11-4)
(up 3) - Losing to the Leafs like that is ugly. No doubt about it.
13. Carolina Hurricanes (16-13-5)
(up 10) - And just like that, they have a great week. Huh.
14. Anaheim Ducks (18-12-3)
(down 4) - Fucking Ducks!
15. Buffalo Sabres (16-13-4)
(down 1) - They went pretty much nowhere.
16. Phoenix Coyotes (16-13-4)
(up 3) - A pretty strong week, at least until they lost to us tonight.
17. Florida Panthers (15-13-4)
(down 5) - And then they cool down quite a bit.
18. Toronto Maple Leafs (13-13-6)
(up 7) - Yeah, I hate them, but I have to acknowledge they're getting better. Fuck.
19. Colorado Avalanche (16-16-1)
(down 1) - Two wins, two losses. So they go pretty much nowhere.
20. Nashville Predators (16-13-3)
(down 3) - Fucking Preds!
21. Minnesota Wild (16-14-2)
(no change) - Still dropping like a rock. Thankfully.
22. Columbus Blue Jackets (14-15-3)
(no change) - As good as Mason is, even he can't save this team.
23. Edmonton Oilers (14-14-3)
(down 7) - A real ugly week. UGLY.
24. Los Angeles Kings (13-14-6)
(down 4) - Meh.
25. Ottawa Senators (12-14-5)
(down 1) - But they beat Dallas!
26. Dallas Stars (13-14-5)
(no change) - But they lost to Ottawa!
27. Atlanta Thrashers (11-17-4)
(up 1) - Slightly getting better. Very slightly.
28. St. Louis Blues (13-17-3)
(down 1) - Getting even worse
29. Tampa Bay Lightning (7-16-9)
(no change) - They lost one fewer than the Islanders. Yay for them!
30. New York Islanders (10-20-3)
(no change) - Another terrible week. It must suck to be an Islanders fan.

Week 12

Biggest riser: Dallas
Biggest dropper: Toronto

01. Boston Bruins (27-5-4)
(no change) - Just not letting up. These guys are good.
02. Chicago Blackhawks (20-6-7)
(no change) - Just set a team record for winning streak. Jesus.
03. Washington Capitals (23-11-3)
(up 4) - Somehow, they're doing this plagued by injuries. Ovechkin has really stepped up.
04. San Jose Sharks (27-4-4)
(no change) - They lost to St. Louis. Ouch. What seemed like a comfortable lead in the league standings not too long ago has now turned into a tie with Boston.
05. Detroit Red Wings (23-7-5)
(down 2) - Had a real bad weekend, so here you go.
06. Calgary Flames (20-11-4)
(up 4) - Fucking Flames!
07. New Jersey Devils (20-11-3)
(down 2) - A bit of an off week, but they're still doing way better than anyone expected after Brodeur went down.
08. Montreal Canadiens (19-9-6)
(up 3) - Just one win, but that's enough to raise them this much.
09. Philadelphia Flyers (19-10-7)
(down 3) - Shut out by Columbus. Ouch.
10. New York Rangers (22-13-3)
(down 2) - The only reason they're at the top of their division is that they've played the most games.
11. Vancouver Canucks (20-14-3)
(down 2) - An up-and-down week finished off with a dominating win tonight. Still, they need to be better if they're really gonna be a contender.
12. Anaheim Ducks (19-14-4)
(up 2) - Fucking Ducks!
13. Pittsburgh Penguins (19-13-4)
(down 1) - This team is all over the place. Get shutout one game, dominate the next.
14. Buffalo Sabres (17-14-5)
(up 1) - Meh. Vanek is stealing the show.
15. Edmonton Oilers (17-14-3)
(up 8) - And then they go and have a great week. What a roller coaster team they are.
16. Carolina Hurricanes (17-15-5)
(down 3) - They're just kinda mid-level.
17. Dallas Stars (15-14-5)
(up 9) - They're certainly playing a lot better now. Maybe Avery was the problem.
18. Colorado Avalanche (18-16-1)
(up 1) - Two wins, but they lost Stastny. So it's a toss-up.
19. Phoenix Coyotes (17-15-5)
(down 3) - They're still doing pretty well, remarkably.
20. Florida Panthers (16-14-5)
(down 3) - So much for that hot streak.
21. Nashville Predators (17-15-3)
(down 1) - Fucking Preds!
22. Los Angeles Kings (15-15-6)
(up 2) - Meh.
23. Minnesota Wild (17-15-2)
(down 2) - Yep, they still suck.
24. Columbus Blue Jackets (15-16-4)
(down 2) - They shut out Philly, though!
25. Toronto Maple Leafs (14-16-6)
(down 7) - Maybe they aren't that good.
26. Tampa Bay Lightning (10-16-9)
(up 2) - They won three in a row. Who knew?
27. St. Louis Blues (14-19-3)
(up 1) - Beat the Sharks, which has got to count for something.
28. Ottawa Senators (12-17-5)
(down 3) - Still pretty bad.
29. Atlanta Thrashers (12-20-4)
(down 1) - Nope, getting worse.
30. New York Islanders (11-21-4)
(no change) - At least they stopped their losing streak, though.

I approve of this.

Week 13

Biggest riser: Columbus
Biggest dropper: Pittsburgh

01. Washington Capitals (26-11-3)
(up 2) - They're just not letting up, even with all the injuries. Boston better look out.
02. Boston Bruins (29-6-4)
(down 1) - Finally had their massive home winning streak snapped, but they're still on fire.
03. Detroit Red Wings (26-7-5)
(up 2) - Beating Chicago twice in a row is pretty impressive.
04. San Jose Sharks (29-4-5)
(no change) - They still slip up every once in a while (losing to Minnesota?), but they're still one of the few elite teams.
05. Chicago Blackhawks (21-8-7)
(down 3) - Detroit spoiled their Winter Classic, but they followed that up with an impressive win over the Flames.
06. Calgary Flames (23-12-4)
(no change) - Fucking Flames!
07. New Jersey Devils (23-12-3)
(no change) - Still doing unbelievably well.
08. Montreal Canadiens (22-10-6)
(no change) - Do they deserve FOUR all-star starters, though? I think not.
09. Philadelphia Flyers (21-10-8)
(no change) - Hmm, there seems to be a lot of teams not changing position. I blame that on be not being here all weekend.
10. Buffalo Sabres (19-15-5)
(up 4) - Beating Boston gives them the jump.
11. Carolina Hurricanes (20-15-5)
(up 5) - Maurice seems to be turning things around.
12. New York Rangers (23-14-3)
(down 2) - Meh.
13. Dallas Stars (16-16-5)
(up 4) - Seem to have turned things around for good now.
14. Columbus Blue Jackets (18-17-4)
(up 10) - Mason finished 08 on an incredible roll.
15. Vancouver Canucks (21-15-4)
(down 4) - Still far too inconsistent to be a viable Cup contender.
16. Anaheim Ducks (20-15-5)
(down 4) - Fucking Ducks!
17. Phoenix Coyotes (19-16-5)
(up 2) - Were doing really well until their loss today.
18. Florida Panthers (17-16-6)
(up 2) - Beating Pittsburgh was more a result of the Penguins bringing the suck.
19. Edmonton Oilers (18-16-3)
(down 4) - Had a shitty week until their convincing win over Dallas, even getting outshot brutally.
20. Minnesota Wild (19-16-3)
(up 3) - I wonder if Gaborik will ever play again.
21. Pittsburgh Penguins (19-16-4)
(down 8) - WTF is going on with them? Total collapse.
22. Toronto Maple Leafs (16-17-6)
(up 3) - Ugh.
23. Colorado Avalanche (19-19-1)
(down 5) - They're just not that good.
24. Los Angeles Kings (16-16-6)
(down 2) - Neither are they.
25. Ottawa Senators (13-18-6)
(up 3) - At least they finally broke their massive road losing streak.
26. Nashville Predators (17-18-3)
(down 5) - Fucking Preds.
27. Tampa Bay Lightning (11-18-10)
(down 1) - Nope, they still suck.
28. Atlanta Thrashers (13-22-5)
(up 1) - Still pretty bad.
29. St. Louis Blues (15-21-3)
(down 2) - Meh.
30. New York Islanders (12-24-4)
(no change) - They are terrible.

I put the Detroit-Chicago thing on Quenneville. Detroit owns him really really bad

Week 14

Biggest riser: Colorado
Biggest dropper: Carolina/Dallas

01. Detroit Red Wings (29-7-5)
(up 2) - Happy, Chip? They finally take over the top spot with an impressive week.
02. Boston Bruins (31-7-4)
(no change) - Lost again, but they're still the beasts of the East.
03. Calgary Flames (25-12-4)
(up 3) - Fuck. Ing. Flames!
04. San Jose Sharks (31-5-5)
(no change) - Lost to Calgary, so that's why they're below them.
05. Montreal Canadiens (25-10-6)
(up 3) - Beat Washington, so that's why they're above them.
06. Washington Capitals (27-13-3)
(down 5) - Looks like the injuries are finally catching up with them.
07. Chicago Blackhawks (23-10-7)
(down 2) - A so-so week, with a couple of brutal losses to Colorado and Nashville tainting their record.
08. Philadelphia Flyers (23-10-9)
(up 1) - When they're on, they're on.
09. New York Rangers (25-15-4)
(up 3) - Still rather inconsistent, though.
10. Buffalo Sabres (21-16-5)
(no change) - Were all ready to make a big jump until they lost to Detroit.
11. Colorado Avalanche (22-19-1)
(up 12) - They seem to be playing a lot better without their two best players.
12. Anaheim Ducks (22-17-5)
(up 4) - Fuck. Ing. Ducks!
13. New Jersey Devils (24-15-3)
(down 6) - Lost to Anaheim, so that's why they're below them.
14. Florida Panthers (20-16-6)
(up 4) - Still playing surprisingly well.
15. Columbus Blue Jackets (20-18-4)
(down 1) - Mason is still stealing games for them.
16. Vancouver Canucks (22-17-5)
(down 1) - Sundin seems to have done nothing for them.
17. Phoenix Coyotes (21-17-5)
(no change) - Another surprisingly good team.
18. Carolina Hurricanes (21-17-5)
(down 7) - Maybe not turned around for good, though.
19. Edmonton Oilers (20-18-3)
(no change) - They're so fucking inconsistent! Drives me crazy.
20. Dallas Stars (17-17-6)
(down 7) - Still having lots of trouble, though.
21. Minnesota Wild (20-18-3)
(down 1) - Still kinda bad.
22. Nashville Predators (19-20-3)
(up 4) - Beating Chicago gives them the lift.
23. Los Angeles Kings (17-18-6)
(up 1) - Also kinda bad.
24. Pittsburgh Penguins (20-19-4)
(down 3) - They are hilariously bad now. It's fun to watch.
25. St. Louis Blues (16-22-3)
(up 4) - Still meh.
26. Atlanta Thrashers (14-24-5)
(up 2) - Still pretty bad.
27. Tampa Bay Lightning (12-19-10)
(no change) - Also still pretty bad.
28. Toronto Maple Leafs (16-20-6)
(down 6) - Ha ha. They suck.
29. Ottawa Senators (13-21-6)
(down 4) - The battle of Ontario is really something special these days.
30. New York Islanders (12-26-4)
(no change) - Yep, still terrible.

Week 15

Biggest riser: Minnesota/Pittsburgh
Biggest dropper: Colorado

01. San Jose Sharks (33-6-5)
(up 3) - That impressive win over Detroit gives them back the top spot.
02. Boston Bruins (33-8-4)
(no change) - Were poised to return to #1 until they lost to the Caps.
03. Detroit Red Wings (31-8-6)
(down 2) - Stumbled a bit, losing to Dallas and then San Jose.
04. Montreal Canadiens (27-11-6)
(up 1) - Should never have gone to a shootout against Ottawa, but at least they won!
05. Washington Capitals (29-14-3)
(up 1) - Somehow, the Oilers were the team to beat them at home.
06. Chicago Blackhawks (25-10-8)
(up 1) - Lost to the Rangers, but it was in overtime, so they stay above them.
07. Calgary Flames (27-14-4)
(down 4) - fucking flames
08. New Jersey Devils (27-15-3)
(up 5) - They just won't die.
09. Philadelphia Flyers (24-12-9)
(down 1) - But when they're not, they're not.
10. New York Rangers (27-16-4)
(down 1) - There's a pretty sizable gap between the top ten and the rest of the league.
11. Buffalo Sabres (23-17-5)
(down 1) - Only drop because New Jersey rose.
12. Florida Panthers (21-16-7)
(up 2) - Are they a playoff team this year? It's possible.
13. Anaheim Ducks (23-19-5)
(down 1) - fucking ducks
14. Columbus Blue Jackets (22-19-4)
(up 1) - Who'd have thought a game between Mason and Luongo would've ended 6-5?
15. Minnesota Wild (22-19-3)
(up 6) - Ugh.
16. Edmonton Oilers (23-19-3)
(up 3) - WHY CAN'T THEY BEAT MINNESOTA EVER.
17. Phoenix Coyotes (23-19-5)
(no change) - Were doing well until they got shelled by the Oil tonight.
18. Pittsburgh Penguins (23-20-4)
(up 6) - Seem to be turning things around now.
19. Dallas Stars (19-17-7)
(up 1) - They beat Dallas, though!
20. Colorado Avalanche (23-22-1)
(down 9) - That win over Calgary salvaged their week.
21. Vancouver Canucks (22-19-6)
(down 5) - They're playing worse with Sundin. Imagine that!
22. Carolina Hurricanes (21-20-5)
(down 4) - When you come back from four down and still can't win, you deserve to fall.
23. Nashville Predators (20-22-3)
(down 1) - I really hate them.
24. Los Angeles Kings (17-20-7)
(down 1) - Them I don't hate so much.
25. Toronto Maple Leafs (17-21-7)
(up 3) - They really shouldn't be blowing leads like that, though.
26. St. Louis Blues (17-23-4)
(down 1) - They still suck.
27. Ottawa Senators (15-21-7)
(up 2) - Wow, they won a couple!
28. Tampa Bay Lightning (14-21-10)
(down 1) - They also won a couple!
29. Atlanta Thrashers (16-25-5)
(down 3) - So did they!
30. New York Islanders (12-29-4)
(no change) - They have yet to win a game in 2009. Yeah.

Week 16

Biggest riser: Carolina
Biggest dropper: Anaheim

01. San Jose Sharks (34-6-5)
(no change) - Go into the break with the best record in the league. But can it translate into playoff success?
02. Boston Bruins (34-8-5)
(no change) - Easily the most surprising team this season; they've got a strangehold on the East and seem unwilling to give it up. Can they emerge from the weaker conference?
03. Detroit Red Wings (31-9-6)
(no change) - Only one question: can they defend their title? They have to get past the Sharks in order to do so.
04. New Jersey Devils (29-15-3)
(up 4) - The team everyone thought would crash when Brodeur went down (especially me), but they've succeeded instead. Can they keep it up?
05. Washington Capitals (30-15-3)
(no change) - They'll easily take their division this year (as opposed to the last-second drama last year), but can they do something with it?
06. Calgary Flames (28-14-4)
(up 1) - I haven't said anything about them all season, so I'll say this: Fucking Flames?
07. Philadelphia Flyers (25-12-9)
(up 2) - They're all over the place this season, but they still have one of the best records in the East. Can they stabilize enough by playoff time?
08. Montreal Canadiens (27-13-6)
(down 4) - This is their season; can they capitalize on that?
09. New York Rangers (28-16-4)
(down 1) - They're in arguably the toughest division, so the only real question is: can they win it?
10. Chicago Blackhawks (25-12-8)
(down 4) - They've at least met their sky-high expectations thus far, but can they keep it up?
11. Buffalo Sabres (24-18-5)
(no change) - A nice rebound from last season, but can it translate into playoff success?
12. Edmonton Oilers (24-19-3)
(up 4) - For all Oiler fans, there is only one question: can they make the playoffs?
13. Phoenix Coyotes (24-19-5)
(up 4) - A rather pleasant surprise this season, can they also hang on and make the playoffs for the first time in a while?
14. Florida Panthers (21-17-8)
(down 2) - Another surprising team, but can they also hold on until the end of the season?
15. Carolina Hurricanes (23-20-5)
(up 7) - Another team that's all over the place. Can they also stabilize enough to make the playoffs?
16. Minnesota Wild (23-20-3)
(down 1) - I was hoping they would really suck this season. Can they miss the playoffs? Please?
17. Vancouver Canucks (22-19-7)
(up 4) - They have Sundin and Luongo back now. Can they utilize them?
18. Columbus Blue Jackets (22-20-5)
(down 4) - Of course, there is only one question: can they make the playoffs for the first team, becoming the last franchise to do so?
19. Pittsburgh Penguins (23-21-4)
(down 1) - Can they turn it around for good? Seriously.
20. Dallas Stars (20-18-7)
(down 1) - Can they put the Avery antics behind them and mount a strong run for the playoffs?
21. Anaheim Ducks (23-21-5)
(down 8) - Can they miss the playoffs too? Please?
22. Los Angeles Kings (19-20-7)
(up 2) - Can they manage a respectable record this season?
23. Colorado Avalanche (23-23-1)
(down 3) - Can they turn their season around or is it a lost cause?
24. St. Louis Blues (19-23-4)
(up 2) - Is this franchise on the up, or will they suck for a while?
25. Nashville Predators (20-23-3)
(down 2) - Can they move to Winnipeg or Hamilton or Thunder Bay? Please?
26. Tampa Bay Lightning (16-21-10)
(up 2) - Will they trade Lecavalier?
27. Ottawa Senators (16-21-7)
(no change) - Will they get Tavares?
28. Atlanta Thrashers (17-26-5)
(up 1) - Will they blow everything up and start over?
29. Toronto Maple Leafs (17-22-8)
(down 4) - Could they possibly suck any more?
30. New York Islanders (13-29-4)
(no change) - They finally won a game in 09. Can they win another?

Week 17

Biggest riser: Dallas
Biggest dropper: Phoenix

01. Boston Bruins (37-8-6)
(up 1) - First to eighty points gives them the top spot. Man this team is good.
02. San Jose Sharks (36-7-5)
(down 1) - That loss against the Blackhawks really blemished their week. Other than that, still looking good.
03. New Jersey Devils (32-15-3)
(up 1) - Still clicking along. Their win streak is at eight. And they beat Boston. Wow.
04. Washington Capitals (32-15-4)
(up 1) - Ovechkin is still tearing it up, and they keep winning. Until he falters, they won't.
05. Calgary Flames (30-14-4)
(up 1) - Fuck. Ing. Flames.
06. Detroit Red Wings (31-11-7)
(down 3) - No, guys. They shouldn't be #1. They've lost five in a row and have let New Jersey, Washington, and nearly Calgary catch them in the standings. What's happening?
07. Chicago Blackhawks (27-13-8)
(up 3) - I wonder if they can wrestle the division title away from Detroit. That win in San Jose goes a long way towards saying yes.
08. Montreal Canadiens (28-16-6)
(no change) - Still sputtering along, though their loss today negated them finally snapping their losing streak.
09. New York Rangers (29-18-4)
(no change) - They're losing ground on the Devils. If they're not careful, that division title will slip away.
10. Philadelphia Flyers (26-14-9)
(down 3) - Same with them. No way you should be getting shutout by the Blues.
11. Buffalo Sabres (26-19-5)
(no change) - Ten goals. TEN. That's all I'll say.
12. Florida Panthers (23-18-8)
(up 2) - Shouldn't have lost to the Islanders, but they're only getting better.
13. Dallas Stars (23-18-7)
(up 7) - They've really turned it around. Getting rid of Avery seems to have done the trick.
14. Carolina Hurricanes (25-21-5)
(up 1) - Meh.
15. Edmonton Oilers (25-21-3)
(down 3) - A pretty bad week, though they did finally beat Backstrom.
16. Minnesota Wild (25-21-3)
(no change) - Ugh. I hate them.
17. Anaheim Ducks (25-22-5)
(up 4) - Fucking Ducks.
18. Columbus Blue Jackets (24-21-5)
(no change) - Mason can only take them so far.
19. Pittsburgh Penguins (24-22-5)
(no change) - Man. They suck.
20. Phoenix Coyotes (24-22-5)
(down 7) - A real shitty week for them.
21. Vancouver Canucks (22-20-8)
(down 4) - They've won once with Sundin. And that was his first game.
22. Los Angeles Kings (20-21-7)
(no change) - Staying respectable. I guess.
23. Nashville Predators (22-24-3)
(up 2) - Fucking Preds.
24. St. Louis Blues (20-24-4)
(no change) - Shutting out the Flyers was very impressive.
25. Toronto Maple Leafs (19-23-8)
(up 4) - Sure they beat the Pens, but the Pens suck now.
26. Colorado Avalanche (23-26-1)
(down 3) - They're just collapsing. It's fun to watch.
27. Tampa Bay Lightning (17-23-10)
(down 1) - Still pretty bad.
28. Ottawa Senators (17-24-7)
(down 1) - Boy do they suck.
29. New York Islanders (15-29-5)
(up 1) - Wow! They climbed out of the basement. Good for them.
30. Atlanta Thrashers (17-29-5)
(down 2) - They lost to the Islanders, so into the basement they go.

NJ and Washington are in the Eastern Conference. They didn't "catch" Detroit.

Week 18

Biggest riser: Vancouver
Biggest dropper: Edmonton/Phoenix

01. Detroit Red Wings (35-11-7)
(up 5) - Alright guys. They are #1. They won all of their games this past week, and that's good enough for me.
02. Boston Bruins (39-8-7)
(down 1) - Still rolling along, it's just that Detroit had a better week.
03. San Jose Sharks (36-7-7)
(down 1) - Ouch. Suddenly they can't win at home. What gives?
04. Washington Capitals (34-16-4)
(no change) - They beat the Devils in the battle for second in the conference, so they move ahead of them.
05. New Jersey Devils (33-17-3)
(down 2) - Brodeur'll be back soon. I wonder what will happen.
06. Chicago Blackhawks (29-14-8)
(up 1) - On second thought, they should be happy with a strong fourth place in the conference.
07. Philadelphia Flyers (28-15-9)
(up 3) - Seem to be turning it around a bit, after their mini-slide.
08. Buffalo Sabres (28-20-6)
(up 3) - Not so long ago they were out of a playoff spot, but not anymore. They're rolling.
09. Dallas Stars (26-19-7)
(up 4) - Jesus Christ. They're on fire.
10. Calgary Flames (30-18-4)
(down 5) - Fucking Flames lost all four of their games last week!
11. Montreal Canadiens (29-18-6)
(down 3) - Lost to the Leafs on Saturday night at home. Ouch.
12. New York Rangers (29-19-5)
(down 3) - They're slipping. Even so, Avery is not the answer.
13. Vancouver Canucks (24-20-8)
(up 8) - Maybe higher than they should be, but that was a damn impressive win over Chicago.
14. Carolina Hurricanes (27-22-5)
(no change) - Still meh.
15. Florida Panthers (25-19-8)
(down 3) - Drop more by necessity than anything, though they're still a playoff team.
16. Minnesota Wild (27-22-3)
(no change) - Still hate 'em.
17. Nashville Predators (25-25-3)
(up 6) - Fucking Preds!
18. Anaheim Ducks (27-24-5)
(down 1) - Fucking Ducks.
19. Los Angeles Kings (23-21-7)
(up 3) - Hmm. Can they sneak into the playoffs? The West is awfully tight.
20. Pittsburgh Penguins (26-24-5)
(down 1) - They really suck.
21. Edmonton Oilers (26-23-4)
(down 6) - The less said, the better.
22. St. Louis Blues (22-24-6)
(up 2) - Seem to be getting better. And in the West, anything can happen.
23. Columbus Blue Jackets (25-23-5)
(down 5) - And now they've lost Mason. Ouch.
24. Colorado Avalanche (25-27-1)
(up 2) - Still not that good.
25. Toronto Maple Leafs (20-24-9)
(no change) - Ha ha. They suck.
26. Phoenix Coyotes (24-25-5)
(down 6) - Lost six in a row. Terrible.
27. Tampa Bay Lightning (18-24-11)
(no change) - Yep, still suck.
28. Ottawa Senators (18-25-8)
(no change) - Coaching change will do no good. They're done for the season.
29. New York Islanders (16-31-5)
(no change) - Still really bad, but at least they're better then...
30. Atlanta Thrashers (18-31-5)
(no change) - Time to blow everything up and start over. Preferably in another city.

Week 19

Biggest riser: Ottawa
Biggest dropper: Montreal

01. New Jersey Devils (37-17-3)
(up 4) - Martin who? Clemmenson has them rolling along. They beat Boston AND San Jose. Back-to-back!
02. Washington Capitals (36-16-5)
(up 2) - Green's streak was snapped, but Ovechkin got a hat trick. What a dynamic offence.
03. Detroit Red Wings (37-12-8)
(down 2) - Why can they not beat Colorado this season? It's strange.
04. San Jose Sharks (37-8-9)
(down 1) - They beat Boston in a terrific game, but then dropped three in a row. Maybe it took a lot out of them.
05. Boston Bruins (39-10-8)
(down 3) - Losers of four straight, they have gotten ice cold all of a sudden. Doesn't bode well for the playoffs.
06. Calgary Flames (33-18-5)
(up 4) - Fucking Flames won three out of four last week.
07. Chicago Blackhawks (31-15-8)
(down 1) - Just rolling along.
08. Philadelphia Flyers (30-16-9)
(down 1) - They have a ridiculous amount of shorthanded goals this season. Seriously.
09. Florida Panthers (28-20-8)
(up 6) - They only lost to the Caps this week, so that's good enough for a sharp rise.
10. Columbus Blue Jackets (28-23-5)
(up 13) - So much for that. They're simply on fire right now.
11. Edmonton Oilers (28-23-4)
(up 10) - That dismantling of Montreal is the sole reason they're up here.
12. Vancouver Canucks (27-21-8)
(up 1) - Seem to have gotten back on track. About time.
13. Dallas Stars (27-21-7)
(down 4) - Were rolling right along until Chicago took them apart. They should still be good for a playoff spot, though. Dammit.
14. Ottawa Senators (21-25-8)
(up 14) - ...or maybe not? They've won four straight now with the new coach. Maybe it's all they needed.
15. Carolina Hurricanes (28-24-5)
(down 1) - Get destroyed by Columbus, but then blank the Sabres. They're all over the place.
16. Buffalo Sabres (29-22-6)
(down 8) - Lost to Ottawa and then Carolina. Ouch.
17. New York Rangers (30-21-6)
(down 5) - What's happening to them? They're just falling apart.
18. Anaheim Ducks (28-25-5)
(no change) - Fucking Ducks.
19. Nashville Predators (27-26-3)
(down 2) - Fucking Preds.
20. Minnesota Wild (28-24-3)
(down 4) - Die Minny Die.
21. Los Angeles Kings (24-22-8)
(down 2) - I actually wouldn't hate them getting into the playoffs. They've got spirit. As long as it's not at the expense of the Oil.
22. St. Louis Blues (23-25-7)
(no change) - Meh.
23. Montreal Canadiens (30-21-6)
(down 12) - I bet they fire their coach next. Just watch.
24. Toronto Maple Leafs (21-25-10)
(up 1) - They beat the Pens again! But the Pens suck now.
25. Colorado Avalanche (26-30-1)
(down 1) - They can beat Detroit, and no one else.
26. Atlanta Thrashers (20-32-5)
(up 4) - That was an impressive thrashing (heh) of the Ducks.
27. Pittsburgh Penguins (27-25-5)
(down 7) - I wonder if the coaching change will do any good. It seems to have helped the Sens.
28. Phoenix Coyotes (25-27-5)
(down 2) - So much for that playoff spot.
29. Tampa Bay Lightning (19-26-11)
(down 2) - Not really getting any better.
30. New York Islanders (16-33-6)
(down 1) - Back in the basement where they belong.

Week 20

Biggest riser: Pittsburgh
Biggest dropper: Ottawa

01. San Jose Sharks (40-8-9)
(up 3) - Just the best team in the league right now.
02. Detroit Red Wings (39-13-8)
(up 1) - Losing to Minnesota hurts.
03. Washington Capitals (38-17-5)
(down 1) - This Ovechkin/Crosby rivalry is becoming interesting.
04. Chicago Blackhawks (34-16-8)
(up 3) - Were doing pretty terrific until they, too, lost to Minnesota.
05. Boston Bruins (40-12-8)
(no change) - What's happening? They're gonna give up first in the conference if they're not careful.
06. Vancouver Canucks (30-21-8)
(up 6) - Just on fire lately.
07. Calgary Flames (35-18-6)
(down 1) - Fucking Flames.
08. Florida Panthers (30-21-8)
(up 1) - They have a ridiculous number of shutouts this season.
09. Philadelphia Flyers (31-17-9)
(down 1) - Losing to Pittsburgh hurts.
10. New Jersey Devils (38-19-3)
(down 9) - Getting shutout twice in one week hurts. Guess they do need Brodeur back.
11. Carolina Hurricanes (31-25-5)
(up 4) - They're all over the place this season.
12. Buffalo Sabres (31-23-6)
(up 4) - Bad news if Miller is gone for the season.
13. Minnesota Wild (30-24-4)
(up 7) - Beat Detroit and Chicago. Impressive
14. Dallas Stars (29-22-7)
(down 1) - They've really picked it up lately after their embarrassing start.
15. Columbus Blue Jackets (30-24-6)
(down 5) - They could still miss that playoff spot, though.
16. Pittsburgh Penguins (29-26-6)
(up 11) - Mostly because they beat Montreal and Philly, but also because I put them so low last week.
17. Montreal Canadiens (31-22-7)
(up 6) - Well, beating Ottawa was a big confidence boost.
18. Anaheim Ducks (29-27-5)
(no change) - Fucking Ducks.
19. Edmonton Oilers (29-25-5)
(down 8) - What a terrible week they had.
20. Nashville Predators (28-28-4)
(down 1) - Fucking Preds.
21. St. Louis Blues (25-26-8)
(up 1) - Meh.
22. Colorado Avalanche (28-31-1)
(up 3) - They can still make the playoffs, somehow.
23. Phoenix Coyotes (27-28-5)
(up 5) - So can they, unbelievably.
24. Los Angeles Kings (25-24-9)
(down 3) - And them.
25. Toronto Maple Leafs (22-26-12)
(down 1) - Not them, though. Heh.
26. New York Rangers (31-23-7)
(down 9) - Just crashing.
27. Ottawa Senators (22-27-9)
(down 13) - So much for that.
28. Tampa Bay Lightning (20-28-12)
(up 1) - Still suck.
29. Atlanta Thrashers (21-33-6)
(down 3) - So do they.
30. New York Islanders (18-35-6)
(no change) - Unquestionably the worst team in the league.

Week 21

Biggest riser: Montreal
Biggest dropper: Dallas

01. New Jersey Devils (41-19-3)
(up 9) - Got Brodeur back and he gets two shutouts in three games. Yeah, they're number one.
02. San Jose Sharks (42-10-9)
(down 1) - Still rolling along, though the loss to Montreal hurts.
03. Detroit Red Wings (41-14-8)
(down 1) - What happened on Saturday night? Truly embarrassing.
04. Washington Capitals (40-19-5)
(down 1) - Still far too inconsistent for a Cup contender.
05. Boston Bruins (42-12-9)
(no change) - Lost to the Caps, so they're below them.
06. Calgary Flames (37-19-6)
(up 1) - Fucking Flames.
07. Montreal Canadiens (34-22-7)
(up 10) - They seem to be back. Guy's job is safe... for now.
08. Chicago Blackhawks (35-17-9)
(down 4) - The downside of a young team - too inconsistent.
09. Vancouver Canucks (32-22-8)
(down 3) - Losing to Montreal hurts, but they're solidifying their playoff spot.
10. Florida Panthers (32-23-8)
(down 2) - Most surprising team this season? I'll say.
11. Pittsburgh Penguins (32-26-6)
(up 5) - An impressive week. The coaching change seems to have worked.
12. Philadelphia Flyers (33-18-10)
(down 3) - Still all over the place.
13. Nashville Predators (31-28-4)
(up 7) - Fucking Preds destroyed Detroit!
14. Columbus Blue Jackets (31-26-6)
(up 1) - I hope they make the playoffs, but man I dunno.
15. Edmonton Oilers (31-26-5)
(up 4) - Let's hope the injury to Moreau isn't serious.
16. Carolina Hurricanes (32-27-5)
(down 5) - Meh.
17. St. Louis Blues (28-26-8)
(up 4) - Maybe they're not out of it yet.
18. Anaheim Ducks (31-28-5)
(no change) - Fucking Ducks.
19. Buffalo Sabres (31-25-7)
(down 7) - They could use a goalie now.
20. Toronto Maple Leafs (25-26-12)
(up 5) - Hmm, they're doing better now. Still won't make the playoffs, but hey.
21. Minnesota Wild (30-26-5)
(down 8) - I'm glad we finally beat them.
22. Atlanta Thrashers (23-34-6)
(up 7) - Slowly, slowly getting better.
23. New York Rangers (32-24-8)
(up 3) - Well, they got one win.
24. Ottawa Senators (23-28-10)
(up 3) - Rose mostly because everyone else lost.
25. Dallas Stars (29-26-7)
(down 11) - So much for that.
26. Los Angeles Kings (26-27-9)
(down 2) - They're pretty much out of it now.
27. Phoenix Coyotes (27-31-5)
(down 4) - Same with them.
28. Tampa Bay Lightning (21-30-12)
(no change) - Nice win over Calgary, though it means nothing.
29. Colorado Avalanche (28-34-1)
(down 7) - Whoa terrible. What's happened to them?
30. New York Islanders (19-36-7)
(no change) - Is Bill Guerin going? Staying? Does anyone care?

Week 22

Biggest riser: NY Rangers
Biggest dropper: Washington/Anaheim

01. Detroit Red Wings (43-15-8)
(up 2) - I really hate giving them #1 after what happened on Saturday, but nobody else wants it.
02. New Jersey Devils (42-20-3)
(down 1) - What happened against the Islanders? Seriously.
03. Boston Bruins (43-15-9)
(up 2) - Still not really playing, but they better change that soon.
04. San Jose Sharks (42-12-10)
(down 2) - They've lost four in a row now, and the only reason they haven't dropped more is that everyone else is losing, too.
05. Calgary Flames (39-21-6)
(up 1) - Fucking Flames.
06. Philadelphia Flyers (35-19-10)
(up 6) - Arguably the most consistent team in the top bunch lately.
07. Pittsburgh Penguins (35-26-6)
(up 4) - For all their wins, a playoff spot is still not assured. Man the East is close.
08. Vancouver Canucks (34-22-8)
(up 1) - They, on the other hand, are getting closer and closer to clinching a spot.
09. Chicago Blackhawks (36-19-9)
(down 1) - Still good enough to slide by on pure talent.
10. Carolina Hurricanes (35-27-5)
(up 6) - So was the offence really just missing Erik Cole?
11. Washington Capitals (40-21-6)
(down 7) - They're sliding now, and no amount of Ovechkin talk can help them.
12. Montreal Canadiens (35-24-7)
(down 5) - So much for that. Until the win over Dallas, they were looking soft.
13. New York Rangers (34-24-8)
(up 10) - Hmm, they seem to be back on track now. For how long though?
14. Florida Panthers (34-24-8)
(down 4) - Still pretty secure in their spot, though what's gonna happen to Bouwmeester after this season?
15. Columbus Blue Jackets (33-27-6)
(down 1) - Good job destroying Detroit, boys!
16. Nashville Predators (33-29-4)
(down 3) - Got their win streak snapped with authority, but they're still doing well. Fuckers.
17. Edmonton Oilers (32-27-6)
(down 2) - Yay, they beat Toronto. I would've have to disown them if they hadn't.
18. Buffalo Sabres (33-26-7)
(up 1) - Were doing well until they got beat by Ottawa, of all teams.
19. Los Angeles Kings (28-28-9)
(up 7) - They're just ruining their draft position now.
20. Minnesota Wild (32-28-5)
(up 1) - They kinda suck now. It's good.
21. Dallas Stars (31-27-8)
(up 4) - Fuck it, no one's reading this. I hate Dallas.
22. St. Louis Blues (29-28-8)
(down 5) - They deserve to be run into the ground.
23. Ottawa Senators (25-29-10)
(up 1) - You're just ruining your future, guys!
24. Toronto Maple Leafs (26-27-13)
(down 4) - I hope they die in a plane crash.
25. Anaheim Ducks (31-30-6)
(down 7) - Fucking Ducks suck.
26. Atlanta Thrashers (25-35-6)
(down 4) - They still suck.
27. Phoenix Coyotes (28-33-5)
(no change) - So do they.
28. New York Islanders (22-37-7)
(up 2) - Wow they beat New Jersey. Way to go.
29. Colorado Avalanche (29-36-1)
(no change) - They lost to the Islanders. That's how bad they are.
30. Tampa Bay Lightning (21-32-13)
(down 2) - They're worse than Colorado. That's how bad they are.

Don't worry I hate Dallas too

But not as much as Edmonton : )

Week 23

Biggest riser: Dallas
Biggest dropper: Edmonton

01. Detroit Red Wings (46-15-9)
(no change) - Reach 100 points again and clinch a playoff spot. Yawn.
02. New Jersey Devils (45-20-3)
(no change) - So, this Brodeur guy is pretty good.
03. San Jose Sharks (45-13-10)
(up 1) - They've got a playoff spot now too, but will they do anything with it?
04. Boston Bruins (45-17-9)
(down 1) - If they're not careful, the Devils are gonna catch them before long.
05. Washington Capitals (43-21-6)
(up 6) - And just like that, they win three in a row.
06. Calgary Flames (40-23-6)
(down 1) - Fucking Flames.
07. Vancouver Canucks (36-23-9)
(up 1) - They're playing really well now.
08. Philadelphia Flyers (37-21-10)
(down 2) - Meh.
09. Pittsburgh Penguins (37-26-8)
(down 2) - Is Malkin the most unheralded scoring leader in a decade? I think so.
10. Chicago Blackhawks (37-21-9)
(down 1) - Still have a shot in the division, but not a good one.
11. New York Rangers (36-26-8)
(up 2) - Still not safe, but they're getting there.
12. Columbus Blue Jackets (36-28-6)
(up 3) - Doing well until that shutout loss to Detroit. They should finally make the playoffs this year!
13. Montreal Canadiens (36-25-8)
(down 1) - Bye Guy! You weren't really a good coach anyways.
14. Dallas Stars (33-28-8)
(up 7) - Fucking Stars.
15. Carolina Hurricanes (36-28-7)
(down 5) - Stumbled a bit, but they're still looking good.
16. Buffalo Sabres (34-27-8)
(up 2) - Not having Miller is really hurting them.
17. Florida Panthers (34-25-10)
(down 3) - Can they make the playoffs? Will anyone care?
18. Nashville Predators (33-20-5)
(down 2) - I really hope they don't make the playoffs.
19. St. Louis Blues (32-29-8)
(up 3) - Somehow, they're almost in a playoff spot
20. Ottawa Senators (28-30-10)
(up 3) - They're just ruining their draft position now.
21. Toronto Maple Leafs (28-29-13)
(up 3) - They still suck.
22. Anaheim Ducks (32-31-6)
(up 3) - Fucking Ducks.
23. Atlanta Thrashers (28-35-6)
(up 3) - Another team ruining their draft position.
24. Edmonton Oilers (32-27-9)
(down 7) - How are they still in a playoff spot? They lost to Atlanta and Colorado!
25. Los Angeles Kings (29-29-10)
(down 6) - They still suck.
26. Minnesota Wild (32-29-8)
(down 6) - Wow, they're bad.
27. Tampa Bay Lightning (23-32-14)
(up 3) - Doing slightly better, but they still suck.
28. New York Islanders (24-38-8)
(no change) - Not the worst team in the league right now, despite their record.
29. Colorado Avalanche (31-38-1)
(no change) - Fucking Avalanche.
30. Phoenix Coyotes (28-35-6)
(down 3) - Ha ha. Gretzky is a terrible coach.

Week 24

Biggest riser: Edmonton
Biggest dropper: Dallas

01. Detroit Red Wings (48-15-9)
(no change) - I really hope they get knocked out in the first round of the playoffs.
02. San Jose Sharks (48-14-10)
(up 1) - Clinched the division like last week, showing how weak the Pacific is this year.
03. Boston Bruins (46-17-10)
(up 1) - Great win over the Devils to solidify their place and take their division.
04. New Jersey Devils (47-22-3)
(down 2) - When Brodeur's on, he's on. When he's not (or he doesn't play), the Devils lose.
05. Washington Capitals (45-23-6)
(no change) - Still terribly inconsistent, which doesn't bode well for the playoffs.
06. Philadelphia Flyers (39-22-10)
(up 2) - Beating the Penguins lifted them into this spot.
07. Vancouver Canucks (38-24-9)
(no change) - That loss to Phoenix has to hurt.
08. Pittsburgh Penguins (39-27-8)
(up 1) - Malkin's a douche. Even more than Ovechkin.
09. Carolina Hurricanes (39-28-7)
(up 6) - On a roll now. Fuck.
10. Calgary Flames (41-24-6)
(down 4) - Fucking Flames suck.
11. Columbus Blue Jackets (38-28-6)
(up 1) - That come-from-behind win over Florida was a real character builder.
12. Chicago Blackhawks (38-22-11)
(down 2) - Yeah, they might as well settle for fourth now.
13. New York Rangers (38-27-8)
(down 2) - At least they're doing better than Montreal.
14. Edmonton Oilers (35-28-9)
(up 10) - The Oilers have to be the most inconsistent team in the league.
15. Florida Panthers (35-27-10)
(up 2) - They should just get kicked out of the league.
16. Anaheim Ducks (35-31-6)
(up 6) - Fucking Ducks!
17. Ottawa Senators (32-30-10)
(up 3) - They won't make the playoffs, but they're making a good push.
18. Minnesota Wild (34-30-8)
(up 8) - So much for them being bad.
19. St. Louis Blues (33-30-9)
(no change) - They probably won't make the playoffs either, but they're fighting.
20. Nashville Predators (35-30-7)
(down 2) - What a waste of a team this is.
21. Toronto Maple Leafs (30-30-13)
(no change) - Yep, I still hate 'em.
22. Montreal Canadiens (36-27-9)
(down 8) - I probably hate them more now, which is why I'm happy to see them fail.
23. Buffalo Sabres (34-30-8)
(down 7) - They need a goalie, stat.
24. Dallas Stars (33-31-8)
(down 10) - Ha ha. They suck.
25. Atlanta Thrashers (30-37-6)
(down 2) - Meh.
26. Los Angeles Kings (30-32-10)
(down 1) - They just can't win.
27. Phoenix Coyotes (30-36-7)
(up 3) - I'm not sure why I raised them. Maybe that win over Vancouver.
28. New York Islanders (24-40-8)
(no change) - Hmm. They suck too.
29. Colorado Avalanche (31-40-2)
(no change) - It was nice to see them get destroyed.
30. Tampa Bay Lightning (23-33-16)
(down 3) - Probably the only coaching change that didn't work this year. Except for the Habs, of course.

Week 25

Biggest riser: Buffalo
Biggest dropper: Columbus

01. Boston Bruins (48-17-10)
(up 2) - Seems to have turned things around, and hopefully will pass Detroit and San Jose to win the President's trophy.
02. San Jose Sharks (49-15-11)
(no change) - Win all the regular season games you want, it means nothing in the playoffs.
03. Detroit Red Wings (49-18-9)
(down 2) - Getting shut out by the Islanders (at home!) is supremely embarrassing.
04. Washington Capitals (46-23-7)
(up 1) - Everyone's grown tired of the talk around Ovechkin's celebration... so why do they keep bringing it up?
05. Carolina Hurricanes (42-28-7)
(up 4) - Jesus Christ, they really want to make the playoffs.
06. Vancouver Canucks (41-25-9)
(up 1) - Hopefully they can take the division away from Calgary.
07. Pittsburgh Penguins (41-27-8)
(up 1) - Seem to have a playoff spot all sown up, and if they play Washington it'll be epic.
08. Chicago Blackhawks (40-23-11)
(up 4) - Beating New Jersey is impressive, getting shut out by Vancouver is not.
09. New Jersey Devils (47-24-4)
(down 5) - So much for getting first in the conference. If they're not careful they'll give up the division.
10. Calgary Flames (43-26-6)
(no change) - Fucking Flames suck.
11. Philadelphia Flyers (41-24-10)
(down 5) - Dropped more out of necessity than anything, though they didn't have a good week.
12. St. Louis Blues (37-30-9)
(up 7) - Never mind. They probably will make the playoffs. Fuckers.
13. Nashville Predators (38-30-8)
(up 7) - Every single Central Division team is in a playoff spot. Unbelievable.
14. Buffalo Sabres (37-30-8)
(up 9) - Got Miller back and it immediately started paying dividends. Probably won't make the playoffs, but they'll try.
15. Florida Panthers (37-28-11)
(no change) - The only reason they're still in it is that Montreal keeps losing.
16. Anaheim Ducks (38-32-6)
(no change) - Fucking Ducks.
17. Montreal Canadiens (38-27-10)
(up 5) - I guess they're doing better now, but they're still in danger of missing the playoffs.
18. New York Rangers (39-28-9)
(down 5) - Not anymore, they aren't.
19. Columbus Blue Jackets (39-29-8)
(down 8) - Dropped more out of necessity, but they lost twice to St. Louis to put them in this position.
20. Minnesota Wild (36-32-8)
(down 2) - Ugh. I hate them.
21. Edmonton Oilers (36-31-9)
(down 7) - I guess they don't want to make the playoffs.
22. Atlanta Thrashers (32-38-6)
(up 3) - I don't know why they're winning now.
23. Ottawa Senators (33-32-10)
(down 6) - Same with them.
24. Los Angeles Kings (31-33-11)
(up 2) - They suck.
25. Toronto Maple Leafs (31-32-13)
(down 4) - So do they.
26. Dallas Stars (33-33-9)
(down 2) - They really do.
27. Phoenix Coyotes (31-37-7)
(no change) - As do they.
28. New York Islanders (25-41-9)
(no change) - Especially them.
29. Tampa Bay Lightning (24-35-17)
(up 1) - Them, of course.
30. Colorado Avalanche (31-43-2)
(down 1) - Oh boy. Them most of all.