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Groucho
Extraordinary
Joined: Thu Oct 21, 2004 9:30 pm Posts: 12096 Location: Stroudsburg, PA
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 Traditional Marriage must be upheld!
I agree that we need to amend our laws to provide for "traditional marriage" like in the Bible. Here are some examples of what our laws should say since it is clear that there should be no difference between our laws and what is in the Bible:
A. Marriage in the United States shall consist of a union between one man and one or more women. (Gen 29:17-28; II Sam 3:2-5)
B. Marriage shall not impede a man's right to take concubines in addition to his wife or wives. (II Sam 5:13; I Kings 11:3; II Chron 11:21)
C. A marriage shall be considered valid only if the wife is a virgin. If the wife is not a virgin, she shall be executed. (Deut 22:13-21)
D. Marriage of a believer and a non-believer shall be forbidden. (Gen 24:3; Num 25:1-9; Ezra 9:12; Neh 10:30)
E. Since marriage is for life, neither this Constitution nor the constitution of any State, nor any state or federal law, shall be construed to permit divorce. (Deut 22:19; Mark 10:9)
F. If a married man dies without children, his brother shall marry the widow. If he refuses to marry his brother's widow or deliberately does not give her children, he shall pay a fine of one shoe and be otherwise punished in a manner to be determined by law. (Gen 38:6-10; Deut 25:5-10)
G. In lieu of marriage, if there are no acceptable men in your town, it is required that you get your dad drunk and have sex with him (even if he had previously offered you up as a sex toy to men young and old), tag-teaming with any sisters you may have. Of course, this rule applies only if you are female. (Gen 19:31-36)
Good old traditional marriage like the Bible calls for. Isn't that what we all want?
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Wed Dec 10, 2008 11:03 pm |
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Chippy
KJ's Leading Pundit
Joined: Tue Oct 12, 2004 4:45 pm Posts: 63026 Location: Tonight... YOU!
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 Re: Traditional Marriage must be upheld!
I'm signing up for that!
_________________trixster wrote: shut the fuck up zwackerm, you're out of your fucking element trixster wrote: chippy is correct
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Wed Dec 10, 2008 11:07 pm |
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Bradley Witherberry
Extraordinary
Joined: Sat Oct 30, 2004 1:13 pm Posts: 15197 Location: Planet Xatar
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 Re: Traditional Marriage must be upheld!
Groucho wrote: I agree that we need to amend our laws to provide for "traditional marriage" like in the Bible. Here are some examples of what our laws should say since it is clear that there should be no difference between our laws and what is in the Bible:
...In lieu of marriage, if there are no acceptable men in your town, it is required that you get your dad drunk and have sex with him (even if he had previously offered you up as a sex toy to men young and old), tag-teaming with any sisters you may have... (Gen 19:31-36) munkyfromlondon wrote: I'm signing up for that! Really?!? Remind me not to invite you and your Dad to my Xmas party! 
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Thu Dec 11, 2008 2:30 am |
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resident
Wall-E
Joined: Thu Feb 17, 2005 5:25 pm Posts: 855
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 Re: Traditional Marriage must be upheld!
Hey Groucho. Can I kill my brother too? I'm jealous.
_________________ And he said to the lady, "I love the crushed eggs. Are they yours? To which the lady replied, "No. Not the eggs."
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Thu Dec 11, 2008 9:49 am |
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junio
Indiana Jones IV
Joined: Sat May 07, 2005 2:23 pm Posts: 1778 Location: Guaynabo, Puerto Rico
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 Re: Traditional Marriage must be upheld!
Yes indeed, it would only be fair.
And while we're making fun of religion, did anyone hear about a priest in Chile (who coincidentially was the one who announced the last Pope when he got elected) who accused Madonna of being lustful and offending God while offering a mass in honor of Pinochet?
_________________
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Thu Dec 11, 2008 10:02 am |
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Jim Halpert
Stanley Cup
Joined: Sat Aug 26, 2006 1:52 pm Posts: 6981 Location: Hockey Town
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 Re: Traditional Marriage must be upheld!
is there really a point to this thread? we know there are contradictions in the bible.
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Thu Dec 11, 2008 12:18 pm |
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Gulli
Jordan Mugen-Honda
Joined: Mon May 01, 2006 9:53 am Posts: 13403
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 Re: Traditional Marriage must be upheld!
junio wrote: And while we're making fun of religion, did anyone hear about a priest in Chile (who coincidentially was the one who announced the last Pope when he got elected) who accused Madonna of being lustful and offending God while offering a mass in honor of Pinochet?
I'm sorta unsure how that is making fun of religion, pointing out a hypocrite but thats about it.
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Thu Dec 11, 2008 12:42 pm |
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Groucho
Extraordinary
Joined: Thu Oct 21, 2004 9:30 pm Posts: 12096 Location: Stroudsburg, PA
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 Re: Traditional Marriage must be upheld!
Nite Owl wrote: is there really a point to this thread? we know there are contradictions in the bible. I just read it and liked it and posted it. Obviously, here on this board, it's not that big of a deal; it's mostly to counter the argument that we can't have gay marriage because that wouldn't be "traditional."
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Thu Dec 11, 2008 12:54 pm |
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redspear
Indiana Jones IV
Joined: Thu Jun 30, 2005 12:08 am Posts: 1879
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 Re: Traditional Marriage must be upheld!
Groucho wrote: Nite Owl wrote: is there really a point to this thread? we know there are contradictions in the bible. I just read it and liked it and posted it. Obviously, here on this board, it's not that big of a deal; it's mostly to counter the argument that we can't have gay marriage because that wouldn't be "traditional." Yup it is obviously a humorous article and quite funny too. It is ironic that Jewish voters were more likely than not to vote against gay marriage bans which is a good thing. The funny thing is all these quotes are from the Old Testament or the "jewish" bible. The mormons have nothing in the book of LDS that prohibits homosexuality and are prohibitely against it.
_________________ Cromulent!
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Thu Dec 11, 2008 1:36 pm |
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Argos
Z
Joined: Sat May 13, 2006 2:20 pm Posts: 7952 Location: Wherever he went, including here, it was against his better judgment.
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 Re: Traditional Marriage must be upheld!
Karlheinz Deschner wrote: Denn das Christentum beruht auf verschiedenen Geboten, wie dem Gebot der Nächstenliebe, der Feindesliebe, dem Gebot, nicht zu stehlen, nicht zu töten und auf der Klugheit, keines dieser Gebote zu halten. So verhält es sich auch mit anderen Religionen.
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Thu Dec 11, 2008 2:05 pm |
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Beeblebrox
All Star Poster
Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2004 9:40 pm Posts: 4679
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 Re: Traditional Marriage must be upheld!
Nite Owl wrote: is there really a point to this thread? we know there are contradictions in the bible. This isn't about the contradictions in the Bible (and not everyone accepts that there are contradictions, btw). It's about the hypocrisy of using the Bible as a justification for discriminating against gays. The Bible says a lot of things.
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Thu Dec 11, 2008 2:56 pm |
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MadGez
Dont Mess with the Gez
Joined: Sun Oct 24, 2004 9:54 am Posts: 23258 Location: Melbourne Australia
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 Re: Traditional Marriage must be upheld!
Well all those quotes are from the old testament. The New Testament is really what the Christian faith is based on and what should be relevant.
More important laws to live by from Jesus are ones like "Love one another as I have loved you" and "Love thy neigbour as thyself"
Another is "he who is without sin, cast the first stone".
I think these are relevant to everyone, both left and right.
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Fri Dec 12, 2008 1:22 am |
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Raffiki
Forum General
Joined: Fri Oct 22, 2004 12:14 am Posts: 9966
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 Re: Traditional Marriage must be upheld!
redspear wrote: Groucho wrote: Nite Owl wrote: is there really a point to this thread? we know there are contradictions in the bible. I just read it and liked it and posted it. Obviously, here on this board, it's not that big of a deal; it's mostly to counter the argument that we can't have gay marriage because that wouldn't be "traditional." Yup it is obviously a humorous article and quite funny too. It is ironic that Jewish voters were more likely than not to vote against gay marriage bans which is a good thing. The funny thing is all these quotes are from the Old Testament or the "jewish" bible. The mormons have nothing in the book of LDS that prohibits homosexuality and are prohibitely against it. The majority of Jews voted NO on banning gay marriage because they have a clearer distinction between civil marriage and religious marriage. I know nothing about the Jewish faith or community... just what I've heard been argued. It's also why I hear hispanics did not overwhelmingly vote YES on 8.
_________________ Top Movies of 2009 1. Hurt Locker / 2. (500) Days of Summer / 3. Sunshine Cleaning / 4. Up / 5. I Love You, Man
Top Anticipated 2009 1. Nine
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Fri Dec 12, 2008 1:46 am |
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redspear
Indiana Jones IV
Joined: Thu Jun 30, 2005 12:08 am Posts: 1879
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 Re: Traditional Marriage must be upheld!
Raffiki wrote: redspear wrote: Groucho wrote: Nite Owl wrote: is there really a point to this thread? we know there are contradictions in the bible. I just read it and liked it and posted it. Obviously, here on this board, it's not that big of a deal; it's mostly to counter the argument that we can't have gay marriage because that wouldn't be "traditional." Yup it is obviously a humorous article and quite funny too. It is ironic that Jewish voters were more likely than not to vote against gay marriage bans which is a good thing. The funny thing is all these quotes are from the Old Testament or the "jewish" bible. The mormons have nothing in the book of LDS that prohibits homosexuality and are prohibitely against it. The majority of Jews voted NO on banning gay marriage because they have a clearer distinction between civil marriage and religious marriage. I know nothing about the Jewish faith or community... just what I've heard been argued. It's also why I hear hispanics did not overwhelmingly vote YES on 8. I understand that but there is also a measure of tolerance that one must respect there. It takes a lot of maturity to vote for something they may not like but understand si a basic right and I don't really agree wiht. But as I said the majority voted against the ban. The hispanic population was something along the lines of 60 YES and the white population was 50/50 in CA. FL and AZ had higher percentages. Asians voted against the ban(aka NO).
_________________ Cromulent!
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Fri Dec 12, 2008 2:19 am |
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Bodrul
All Star Poster
Joined: Fri Oct 22, 2004 11:21 am Posts: 4694 Location: Cambridge, England.
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 Re: Traditional Marriage must be upheld!
Edited by mods...
Less of that please, Bodrul.
_________________
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Sun Dec 14, 2008 10:05 am |
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Bradley Witherberry
Extraordinary
Joined: Sat Oct 30, 2004 1:13 pm Posts: 15197 Location: Planet Xatar
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 Re: Traditional Marriage must be upheld!
No need to be so hard on yourself...
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Sun Dec 14, 2008 10:41 am |
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