trixster wrote:
I don't think I'm a big fan of the Marx Brothers.
Blasphemy!
My absolute favorite Marx Brothers movie. Lots of good bits, and none of those silly musical numbers done by other people.
Rufus T. Firefly: Lieutenant, why weren't the original indictment papers placed in my portfolio?
Bob Roland: Why, uh, I didn't think those papers were important at this time, your excellency.
Rufus T. Firefly: You didn't think they were important? Do you realize I had my dessert wrapped in those papers?
Rufus T. Firefly: I'll see you at the opera tonight. I'll hold your seat till you get there. After you get there you're on your own.
Rufus T. Firefly: How would you like a job in the mint?
Chicolini: Mint? No, no, I no like a mint. Uh, what other flavor you got?
Rufus T. Firefly: You're a brave man. Go and break through the lines. And remember, while you're out there risking your life and limb through shot and shell, we'll be in be in here thinking what a sucker you are.
Rufus T. Firefly: Gentlemen, Chicolini here may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot. I implore you, send him back to his father and brothers, who are waiting for him with open arms in the penitentiary. I suggest that we give him ten years in Leavenworth, or eleven years in Twelveworth.
Chicolini: I'll tell you what I'll do: I'll take five and ten in Woolworth.
Rufus T. Firefly: Married. I can see you right now in the kitchen, bending over a hot stove. But I can't see the stove.
Rufus T. Firefly: Not that I care, but where is your husband?
Mrs. Teasdale: Why, he's dead.
Rufus T. Firefly: I bet he's just using that as an excuse.
Mrs. Teasdale: I was with him to the very end.
Rufus T. Firefly: No wonder he passed away.
Mrs. Teasdale: I held him in my arms and kissed him.
Rufus T. Firefly: Oh, I see, then it was murder. Will you marry me? Did he leave you any money? Answer the second question first.
Rufus T. Firefly: Well, that covers a lot of ground. Say, you cover a lot of ground yourself. You better beat it - I hear they're going to tear you down and put up an office building where you're standing. You can leave in a taxi. If you can't get a taxi, you can leave in a huff. If that's too soon, you can leave in a minute and a huff. You know, you haven't stopped talking since I came here? You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle.
Minister of Finance: Here is the Treasury Department's report, sir. I hope you'll find it clear.
Rufus T. Firefly: Clear? Huh. Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. (aside) Run out and find me a four-year-old child; I can't make head or tail of it.
Mrs. Teasdale: Notables from every country are gathered here in your honor. This is a gala day for you.
Rufus T. Firefly: Well, a gal a day is enough for me. I don't think I could handle any more.
Mrs. Teasdale: As chairman of the reception committee, I welcome you with open arms.
Rufus T. Firefly: Is that so? How late do you stay open?
Prosecutor: Something must be done! War would mean a prohibitive increase in our taxes.
Chicolini: Hey, I got an uncle lives in Taxes.
Prosecutor: No, I'm talking about taxes - money, dollars!
Chicolini: Dollars! There's-a where my uncle lives! Dollars, Taxes!
Rufus T. Firefly: [into radio] This is Rufus T. Firefly coming to you through the courtesy of the enemy. We're in a mess folks, we're in a mess. Rush to Freedonia! Three men and one woman are trapped in a building! Send help at once! If you can't send help, send two more women!
Mrs. Teasdale: As chairwoman of the reception committee, I extend the wishes of every man, woman, and child of Freedonia.
Rufus T. Firefly: Never mind that stuff.
[He takes out a deck of cards]
Rufus T. Firefly: Take a card.
Mrs. Teasdale: [as she takes one] Card? What will I do with the card?
Rufus T. Firefly: You can keep it. I've got fifty-one left.
Rufus T. Firefly: Go, and never darken my towels again!
Lemonade Vendor: I'll teach you to kick me!
Chicolini: You don't have to teach me, I know how!
[He kicks him]
Rufus T. Firefly: [locked in a bathroom] Let me out of here! Hey, let me out of here or throw me a magazine!
First Judge: That sort of testimony we can eliminate.
Chicolini: Atsa fine. I'll take some.
First Judge: You'll take what?
Chicolini: Eliminate. A nice, cold glass eliminate.
Prosecutor: Chicolini, when were you born?
Chicolini: I don't-a remember. I was just a little baby.
Prosecutor: Isn't it true you tried to sell Freedonia's secret war code and plans?
Chicolini: Sure, I sold a code and two pair of plans.
Mrs. Teasdale: Your Excellency, I thought you'd left!
Chicolini: Oh no, I no leave.
Mrs. Teasdale: But I saw you with my own eyes!
Chicolini: Well, who you gonna believe, me or your own eyes?
Rufus T. Firefly: Take a letter.
Bob Roland: Who to?
Rufus T. Firefly: To my dentist.
[Roland writes out the following]
Rufus T. Firefly: Uh... Dear dentist, enclosed find check for $500, yours very truly. Send that off immediately.
Bob Roland: I'll, um, I'll have to enclose a check first.
Rufus T. Firefly: You do and I'll fire you.
Freedonia's Secretary of War: How about taking up the tax?
Rufus T. Firefly: How 'bout taking up the carpet?
Freedonia's Secretary of War: I still insist we must take up the tax.
Rufus T. Firefly: He's right, you've gotta take up the tacks before you can take up the carpet.
