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trixster
loyalfromlondon
Joined: Wed Oct 13, 2004 6:31 pm Posts: 19697 Location: ville-marie
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Machete
MacheteQuote: Machete is a 2010 action film directed by Robert Rodriguez and Ethan Maniquis. The "Machete" character originates from the 2001 Spy Kids film, written and directed by Robert Rodriguez. This film is an expansion of a fake trailer that was released together with Rodriguez's and Quentin Tarantino's 2007 Grindhouse. Machete continues the B movie and exploitation style of Grindhouse, including in part the same footage. Danny Trejo stars in his first lead role as the title character.
The film also stars Robert De Niro, Jessica Alba, Don Johnson, Michelle Rodriguez, Steven Seagal and Lindsay Lohan, who filmed scenes for the film during the autumn of 2009. Cheech Marin and Jeff Fahey returned to portray their characters from the original trailer.
Machete was released in the United States by 20th Century Fox and Rodriguez's company, Troublemaker Studios, on September 3, 2010.
_________________Magic Mike wrote: zwackerm wrote: If John Wick 2 even makes 30 million I will eat 1,000 shoes. Same. Algren wrote: I don't think. I predict.
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Fri Sep 03, 2010 12:24 am |
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movies35
Forum General
Joined: Thu Nov 11, 2004 1:53 pm Posts: 8626 Location: Syracuse, NY
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Re: Machete
This was terrible. It wasn't nearly as fun as it thought it was (well, scratch that, it wasn't fun at ALL). It was honestly unbearable, and that is coming from someone who loved GRINDHOUSE.
4/10 (D+)
_________________ Top 10 Films of 2016
1. La La Land 2. Other People 3. Nocturnal Animals 4. Swiss Army Man 5. Manchester by the Sea 6. The Edge of Seventeen 7. Sing Street 8. Indignation 9. The Lobster 10. Hell or High Water
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Sat Sep 04, 2010 4:06 pm |
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nghtvsn
Extraordinary
Joined: Fri Mar 11, 2005 7:13 pm Posts: 11015 Location: Warren Theatre Oklahoma
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Re: Machete
MACHETE
I caught this today. Ever since I saw the trailer during Grindhouse I've been excited about this movie. That trailer was put together so well but I didn't know anything about the story. Now, I don't know if what they made was the original story but I thought the plot and use of current immigration headlines was pretty stupid. Now I didn't hate everything about the movie because I thought some parts had good gory violent action while other bits were flat out cheesy/cartoony. I didn't like the use of things like the phone ringtone, certain sound effects and the Porno sounding music. I thought cheech, fahey, and trejo were good. I really think this could have been a much better film if it had stayed away from the illegal immigrant storyline.
Grade-D
_________________ 2009 World of KJ Fantasy Football World Champion Team MVP : Peyton Manning : Record 11-5 : Points 2669.00 [b]FREE KORRGAN 45TH PRESIDENT OF THE U.S.A. DONALD J. TRUMP #MAGA #KAG! 10,000 post achieved on - Posted: Wed May 16, 2018 7:49 pm
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Sat Sep 04, 2010 9:37 pm |
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junio
Indiana Jones IV
Joined: Sat May 07, 2005 2:23 pm Posts: 1778 Location: Guaynabo, Puerto Rico
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Re: Machete
LOL
I can't wait to see this next Thursday!
_________________
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Sat Sep 04, 2010 10:02 pm |
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jmovies
Let's Call It A Bromance
Joined: Tue Aug 07, 2007 7:22 pm Posts: 12333
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Re: Machete
Machete is an over-the-top action piece that definitely has its fun though a few of the action bits don't quite work. The film is very gruesome such as someone's intestines being stretched out and being used as a rope. The story is so bland though and seems kind of typical for an immigration plot though Robert DeNiro's character makes this plot at least amusing at times. Danny Trejo is good as Machete and Rodriguez and Alba are fine enough as well. The film's silliness action becomes a bit odd near the end and not nearly as amusing. As such the film is weaker in its second half than its first. Also Steven Seagal is ok though his character seems completely unnecessary. Then, there is a particular scene in a church that took the violence level it shouldn't have taken and hurts the film a bit. The film is not a big breakout action piece but for the most part it can stay enjoyable. **1/2
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Sun Sep 05, 2010 1:07 pm |
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El Maskado
Arrrrrrrrrrgggghhhhhhhhhh!
Joined: Tue Oct 12, 2004 8:17 pm Posts: 21572
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Re: Machete
It was awesome. I guess you have to be around either Texas or Los Angeles to get all the jabs at latino cultural. Im one who would raise my leaf blower in salute to machette
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Mon Sep 06, 2010 12:17 am |
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Jmart
Superman: The Movie
Joined: Fri Oct 22, 2004 8:47 am Posts: 21150 Location: Massachusetts
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Re: Machete
As someone who really enjoyed Rodriguez's Once Upon a Time in Mexico and Planet Terror, I found this to be a big disappointment. It takes itself way too seriously, especially for something that's really only supposed to be a Grindhouse-like film. As a result the tone winds up being a little too dark which causes the parts of the film that are tongue and cheek to feel too out of place. It just felt for the most part that it was another by the numbers action flick with a litlle bit of over the top gore thrown in. It's pretty joyless.
**
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Mon Sep 06, 2010 9:29 pm |
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Viper Rodgers
Leader of the Pack
Joined: Wed Aug 02, 2006 3:35 am Posts: 1526 Location: A better place
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Re: Machete
So I kinda loved it... I thought it was right on par with "Planet Terror." Quote: A nude Latina chica with the perkiest breasts this side of the border and curves as smooth as a coke bottle, straddles a tall, dark stranger. Groping the side of his muscular thigh, she asks in an inquisitive, yet sultry manner, “What is this long hard rod you’ve got here?” In low raspy voice the stranger replies, “That is my machete.” This girl has gone and f*^&ed with the wrong Mexican… Based on director Robert Rodriguez’s (“Planet Terror”) now not-so-fake trailer that was featured during Rodriguez’s and Quentin Tarantino’s “Grindhouse,” “Machete” brings the blade slinging legend to life. Three years ago, Mexican federale and all around badass, Machete (Danny Trejo, “Predators”), was betrayed by his government and was forced to watch as Torrez (Steven Segal, “A Dangerous Man”), a Mexican drug lord, brutally slew his wife and daughter. Today, Machete illegally lives across the border in Texas, working as a gardener for hire. Life is simple until a political businessman named Booth (Jeff Fahey, TVs “Lost”) gives him an ultimatum – Either kill die-hard anti-immigration Senator McLaughlin (Robert Deniro, “Everybody’s Fine”) and receive $150,000 for his services or be deported back to Mexico. Machete reluctantly takes Booth’s offer unknowing of the political conspiracy surrounding the Senator. During the assassination attempt, Machete is betrayed once again by those he is working for. With only two options, either run and hide or fight to uncover the truth, Machete, with the help of an undercover cop (Jessica Alba, “Valentines Day”) and sexy female freedom fighter (Michelle Rodriguez, “Avatar”), decides to take justice into his own vengeful hands. A new action star isn’t born in “Machete,” Machete is the one giving nasty, unfiltered, blood covered action birth. Machete is a man who will slice you open, yank out your large intestine and use said intestine as rope to secure himself as he jumps out a 10 story building. You think James Bond gets girls easy? Machete gets two girls at once – a mother and her daughter. He knows the score and always gets the bad guys. This is “Machete.” Exploitation cinema gets seriously exploited in Rodriguez’s follow up to his now cult classic “Planet Terror” (his half of “Grindhouse”). No filmmaker can purposefully make a crappy movie more over-the-top outrageous better than Rodriguez. In “Machete” the dialogue is cheesier, the tits are bigger, and the blood flies higher. Even the music, composed by Rodriguez’s Mexican style rock band Chingon (Spanish for badass), is more in-your-face awesome than usual (especially when the hot and heavy porno beat starts to play when things really start to get dirty). While a coherent plot isn’t necessary, Rodriguez’s screenplay packs a punch with an extreme look at immigration ideas straight out of today’s headlines. Deniro’s McLaughlin is an exaggerated red-neck conservative whose rallies draw white-trash citizens carrying signs with pictures of Uncle Sam saying, “I want you to speak English!” With the help of his patrons and border patrol Nazi-esque guard Lt. Stillman (Don Johnson, “When in Rome”), the Senator will do anything to get re-elected so he can finally get that electrified fence erected along the border. Keeping his cinematic family intact, Rodriguez recycles most of the cast from his previous films, with the addition of some high profile faces. In his eighth film under Rodriguez’s direction, Trejo embodies Machete with a ferocity unknown to mankind. As the “only seen through video conversations until all his minions fail and his expertise is needed to get the job done” drug lord, Segal has fun taking his legendary action status to another level. Alba, M. Rodriguez and Electra and Elise Avellan (R. Rodriguez’s nieces) all heat up the screen with their undeniable sexiness, but it is actually Lindsay Lohan who steals the show. First seen on-screen as a drugged up mess in a hooker’s outfit, Lohan succeeds in her attempt to spoof her real-life through a movie role. Add to that a nude sequence and a scene involving her mowing down bad guys with a rather large machine gun and she lands a comeback role as momentous as Tom Cruise’s in “Tropic Thunder.” Obviously geared towards “Grindhouse” fans, “Machete” is unlikely to thrill those who don’t understand the purpose behind exploitation genre. For those of us who do know a great shitty movie when we see one, “Machete” is waiting. A-http://www.unrinsight.com/?p=5999
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Tue Sep 07, 2010 3:07 am |
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Chippy
KJ's Leading Pundit
Joined: Tue Oct 12, 2004 4:45 pm Posts: 63026 Location: Tonight... YOU!
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Re: Machete
My friend loved it. So I will be seeing this.
_________________trixster wrote: shut the fuck up zwackerm, you're out of your fucking element trixster wrote: chippy is correct
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Tue Sep 07, 2010 3:42 pm |
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Bradley Witherberry
Extraordinary
Joined: Sat Oct 30, 2004 1:13 pm Posts: 15197 Location: Planet Xatar
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Re: Machete
I ♡ Machete! Yep, I dug the retro groove laid down by the perennial craftsman and student of film history Robert Rodriguez - - this smart homage to the ultra-violent b-movies of the 70's & 80's shows he knows his stuff. And don't the actors surrounding the star (incomparable character actor Danny Trejo) all sound like stunt casting? * Robert De Niro * Jessica Alba * Steven Seagal * Michelle Rodriguez * Cheech Marin * Don Johnson * Lindsay Lohan(!) But ya know what? They all actually play it pretty straight (in their own skillfully self-parodying styles). So it turns out not to be a stunt at all - - they're really acting here. Machete is filled with plentiful hilarious lines that will soon become classics. It has a story that is way above the usual crap that passes for a script in this genre. The violence is savagely creative, featuring far more weapons than just the title blade. It's even already named it's two promised sequels: Machete Kills and Machete Kills Again I hope you zombie kids clogging the multiplex get it - - Machete is the real deal - - one killer movie! 318 out of 5.
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Wed Sep 08, 2010 12:33 am |
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Thegun
On autopilot for the summer
Joined: Thu Oct 21, 2004 10:14 pm Posts: 21632 Location: Walking around somewhere
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Re: Machete
Absolutely awesome, what were people expecting, Segal's death is worth the price of admission alone. Awesomely bad
_________________Chippy wrote: As always, fuck Thegun. Chippy wrote: I want to live vicariously through you, Thegun!
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Sat Sep 11, 2010 1:58 am |
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Michael A
Joined: Sat Dec 27, 2008 4:48 am Posts: 6245
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Re: Machete
Machete don't text.
_________________Mr. R wrote: Malcolm wrote: You seem to think threatening violence against people is perfectly okay because you feel offended by their words, so that's kind of telling in itself. Exactly. If they don't know how to behave, and feel OK offending others, they get their ass kicked, so they'll think next time before opening their rotten mouths.
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Sat Sep 11, 2010 6:00 pm |
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MovieDude
Where will you be?
Joined: Tue Dec 21, 2004 4:50 am Posts: 11675
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Re: Machete
Yeah, this was a lot of fun. Incredibly violent, very self-aware, and some surprisingly witty social commentary!
The only major gripe I'd have is Jessica Alba. She sucked the air out of most every scene she was in. Well, I suppose Robert De Niro was pretty lousy too... But his character had his moments. (Loved the political ads)
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Fri Sep 17, 2010 2:48 am |
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Grill
Forum General
Joined: Mon Jan 28, 2008 11:01 am Posts: 8684
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Re: Machete
Does a great job making a kickass movie. Except for Alba, but she makes up for it being pretty on screen.
Just surpised Alba didn't turn out to be Machette's daughter. Especially since they didn't sleep together.
Also Lohan sure has a nice set of tits but I didn't like her face in this movie.
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Fri Sep 17, 2010 7:35 pm |
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Grill
Forum General
Joined: Mon Jan 28, 2008 11:01 am Posts: 8684
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Re: Machete
Just popped in Planet Terror. Rented, not bought, as not sure if I really want it.
But anyway, think they should have watched the trailer again before making Machete as they left out/changed some things.
Most of them small, but he needed that coat with all the weapons.
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Sun Sep 19, 2010 1:29 pm |
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junio
Indiana Jones IV
Joined: Sat May 07, 2005 2:23 pm Posts: 1778 Location: Guaynabo, Puerto Rico
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Re: Machete
Machete improvise. That was fucking awsome! Every single casting choice is golden. Michelle Rodriguez was especially great. Planet Terror was better but this is my favorite American movie so far this year.
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Sun Sep 19, 2010 11:32 pm |
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Mister Ecks
New Server, Same X
Joined: Wed Oct 13, 2004 7:07 pm Posts: 28291 Location: ... siiiigh...
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Re: Machete
I loved it. It's so over the top, it works. I mean, they could not have went any further over the top with it. Everything was great. Just a lot of fun.
_________________ Ecks Factor: Cancelled too soon
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Fri Sep 24, 2010 3:14 pm |
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trixster
loyalfromlondon
Joined: Wed Oct 13, 2004 6:31 pm Posts: 19697 Location: ville-marie
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Re: Machete
This was kinda boring.
_________________Magic Mike wrote: zwackerm wrote: If John Wick 2 even makes 30 million I will eat 1,000 shoes. Same. Algren wrote: I don't think. I predict.
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Thu Nov 04, 2010 9:04 pm |
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Jim Halpert
Stanley Cup
Joined: Sat Aug 26, 2006 1:52 pm Posts: 6981 Location: Hockey Town
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Re: Machete
trixster wrote: This was kinda boring. communist
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Thu Nov 04, 2010 9:20 pm |
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trixster
loyalfromlondon
Joined: Wed Oct 13, 2004 6:31 pm Posts: 19697 Location: ville-marie
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Re: Machete
Jim Halpert wrote: trixster wrote: This was kinda boring. communist fascist
_________________Magic Mike wrote: zwackerm wrote: If John Wick 2 even makes 30 million I will eat 1,000 shoes. Same. Algren wrote: I don't think. I predict.
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Thu Nov 04, 2010 9:22 pm |
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_axiom
The Wall
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2005 10:50 am Posts: 16163 Location: Croatia
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Re: Machete
7/10 -> B-
It's no Death Proof, let alone the fantastic Planet Terror, but it does have its fair share of laughs and fun.
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Tue Nov 09, 2010 6:11 am |
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Magic Mike
Wallflower
Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2004 4:53 am Posts: 34876 Location: Minnesota
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Re: Machete
MACHETE - 7/10 ( B )
Very fun! Bring on the sequel!
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Sat Jan 15, 2011 5:15 am |
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Bradley Witherberry
Extraordinary
Joined: Sat Oct 30, 2004 1:13 pm Posts: 15197 Location: Planet Xatar
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Re: Machete
Bump... for the sequel release!
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Thu Oct 10, 2013 8:02 am |
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