i mean .. they're progressively become worse, dumber, and punnier (not funnier)

Summer fun won't be cheap
Tarzan's pal Cheeta turns 74 with cake, Diet Coke
Big day for 'Tarzan's' chimp (1:57)
Fashion designer takes off (2:43)
Detective's creator had sleuthing past
Church bells toll for ringtone faithful
Gossip writer becomes tabloid fodder
Study: Obesity not in eye of beholder
Herbs don't mix well with Coumadin
Shuttle program full of ups and downs

and these are just from right now.

I would love to interview that chimp.

The stories he could tell.

the stories may start of differently but i believe they'll all end the same way. lots of poo flying around.

When I was at the San Antonio Zoo last week, I witnessed a monkey's full erection. He then proceeded to urinate on his food. And then he ate the food.

That's classy.

What is this, bAbA and Loyal day?

I also had an epiphany of sorts while feeding Koi. If ducks were carnivorous, they would be much more interesting.

Today's headlines

Wife to kidnappers: Please call
Entwistle surfed Web for 'fun in the bedroom'
Hitting the road is about to hit your wallet
Mavs keep heat on Spurs

HA.

<goes to cnn.com>



Not John Entwistle apparently.

No monkey news today??

Nothing beats this:

http://www.worldofkj.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=14970

ITS A FAKE

So?

these are real headlines

I know, but they are not as funny

Currently on Cnn.com

"Liberal marijuana law being hassled, man"

there was a cnn related hoax about dakota fanning dying.
http://historymike.blogspot.com/2006/04 ... -hoax.html

Such pressing things on cnn right now:


Star wears red shirt, no pants to ceremony [on Winnie the Pooh]
Couple agrees to pay slave [uh...]
Clinton jokes he's done with sexy topics [UH...]
Congressman accused of using staff to baby-sit [No u]
No bull: Cow on lawn could mean theft charge [Oh come now]
Myspace moves to tackle online predators [Anyone who has a myspace is a predator]
Mudslides prompt evacuation and search [really? i thought mudslides prompted dirt cake tea parties]
Cat still trapped in deli wall [Oh golly darn!]
Workers dig up bones of ancient sloth

this is my favourite

"A whole lotta 'booty shaking' going on"

More

Moussaoui takes stand, blasts lawyers
High-speed car chase leaves woman spinning
Gay parents line up for White House egg roll
Fast rise, violent death

Punny.

More:

Monopoly rolls dice, changes look
Un-bee-lievable sight!
Man killed by sinkhole
Big-screen Bush bashing
Hybrid cars are so last century
Hopes high sick beluga gets well soon
Man dies as large hole opens under home
Warm days and crisp nights
North Pole students return to classes
5 stocks that are just too hot to handle

Death would be too merciful a fate for those writers!

Today:

Bush pumps up plan to battle high gas prices
Legalize longtime immigrants, most tell poll
Student author will change 'unintentional errors'
Baby, dad and grandpa born on same day
John Lennon's message from beyond...
Smile! You're on carjack camera (6:29)
Unleash your inner geek at 'Dorkbot'
Black holes are actually 'green'
McKinney draws re-election foe, loses attorney
Czech, please! Eat like a local in Prague

I don't see anything wrong or unusual about the bolded ones. They seem like standard little headlines you might see in any newspaper.

Or maybe you are drawing attention to that they aren't covering many worldwide events on their front page? Unfortunately, the US news media all but ignores other developed nations. If a car bomb exploded in India it would be on the front page, but if, say, the mayor of Berlin got re-elected we'd never hear of it unless we really searched.

Haha. Black holes are green. Priceless.

Pick up a newspaper some day guys, the same sort of headlines.

Legalize longtime immigrants, most tell poll - Something about this headline just sounds wrong. Hence I listed it. I don't know if its a grammatical error or the weird punctuation.

Student author will change 'unintentional errors' - A main page news and that too, a top story news. Yet it takes no name, and provides no clue as to what it is. Yes, its a headline but compare it to the following headline: (Big engines stay popular despite gas spike). Just reading the title tells me a lot. This headline however, is just vague. Great for an inside story in the local pages but main top stories?

Baby, dad and grandpa born on same day: Once again. Top stories of the day?

Black holes are actually 'green': This one is just amusing, as rogue points out.

McKinney draws re-election foe, loses attorney: There is nothing wrong with this headline. But its amusing if you follow cnn headlines for a long time. cnn has a habit of making headlines that follow the following pattern: "Someone gets something, loses another thing".

You're right. Local newspapers do the same thing. But its more fun when its online cause its easier to copy paste. but most of the headlines on local newspapers which are sort of weird are in the inside pages (or as previews of the inside pages on the main page).