I remember a time when everyone hated BKB. Now they quote him and laugh like he's some sort of circus attraction.

I guess everyone lightened up like he's been telling us to do all this time!

You little...

I'm curious, upon seeing that imtim83 made a new post, did anybody else utter a remorseful "Oh my god"?

i think we can all agree that i knew front of house better than anyone. he was one crazy guy. i remember when i first met him. it was back in the trouser riots of '65, and me and him were two-thirds of a three-way mexican stand-off. we'd been pointing our guns at each other since the sock riots of '63, and his eyes started to wander. "dude," he muttered, glancing across at me - "you've got a good physique, but i don't think you're hitting your triceps hard enough. are you aware that the tricep is a three-headed beast, that needs blasting in three different ways for maximum growth?" i was astonished. from a single glance, the moustachioed muscle mary could diagnose the faults with my routine. deep down, i KNEW i wasn't committed to my triceps. i'd been squandering my time on the glamorous world of chest and shoulders. "you know," he told me, "i've developed a system of maximum human raw power. i call it the back of house meso-rock system. watch this." then the crazy bastard shot himself in his own face. the bullet just bounced off. and then he took off into the air like a rocket. no kidding.

next time i saw him was in russia. he was wearing a Frankie Says Relax Tee-Shirt, and he'd become a mini-celebrity in gdansk's lesser-known "snow beach" bodybuilding scene. have you seen that scene in Unbreakable? well, he invented that routine. it's called the surprising-yourself-by-doing-more-weight-than-is-humanly-possible-and-keep-adding-more routine. back of house meso-rock technique blends it with drop sets for maximum muscle development. at the end of every day, people would flock to the icy outdoor gym to watch him wax his moustache and demonstrate crazy new techniques, like the glasgow press and the one-fingered somersaulting arm extension. and that's how he killed a man.

when i look back at his life, i'm not sure what i would pick as the defining factor. maybe it's the way he shot to fame by bench-pressing a gypsy caravan with nine people and a horse inside it. maybe it's the fact that he developed a type of moustache wax ("House #3") which is more famous world-wide than coca cola or manchester united. maybe it's the way he used to wander in and out of bars, flexing his pecs and roaring, "come on! don't be soft! start fighting, you bitches!" maybe it's the fact that he's still alive. maybe it's the fact that, many years ago, he came into this world in a manger, with nothing but a crib for his bed.

god bless you, front of house. you'll be missed. by the people who knew you - and, more importantly, by stuff like blowdarts and bullets when you do that crazy matrix stuff. and then you do a somersault.