Colin Farrell Joins the Village People

It appears that Colin Farrell thought it wise to turn up at a recent charity event as the gay biker from the Village People. Which was kind of appropriate since Paris Hilton who was also present looks so eerily similar to the Indian from the village people. She is a testament that yes, enough makeup can make you look like a totally different race. Clearly Paris has watched "White Chicks" and thought that by going as an Indian she might somehow be getting her own back on those wild Wayans brothers.

Like when Christina Aguleria clawed my eyes out this one time; I went to her birthday party dressed as a Giant Britney Spears Endorsed Panda. You should have seen how mad she was! It was totally awesome. Anyway some chick paid $20k for a night with Colin after no one was intially interested. But Paris shifted for $200k and started crying hysterically when she realised that the bidder was Michael Moore who had a suspiciously sticky handshake.

OMFG MIchael, this thread makes me cry LOL Freakin hilarious.

"The emancipation of boobies"

hehe The Deli has now had 4,222 hits since opening a few short weeks ago; adding in this threads views and thats over 8,500!

some funny search terms weve gotten traffic from:

"Mariah Carey is getting a little fatter recently"
"Tara Reid Paradise"
"Arnold Fingerbang"
"fat"
"Hugetits"

"Jessica Simpsons Boobs"
"Jessica Simpsons legs"
"Jessica Simpsons Breasts"
"Jessica Simpsons Box"


Some of our referrers include
Google, GoldDerby Forums [lots], The Superficial, Yahoo, WorldofKJ [YAY- with 0.02% of the total hits!]

Good for you, Michael

Dont be a cock for no reason now; im not very nice when im sick.

For that ill give you the latest search term

"Joe simpsons comments on Jessica Simpsons breasts"
Thats her father then.

Hilary Duff is one crazy horse!
Wow. I knew Furious Duff was a giant horse; but i thought she was kind of a sweet, traditionally anorexic [ie the method that dosent involve drugs] horse. But it turns out Furious Duff's ego is infact as big as her teeth. The lastest 411 that EVERYONE whos ANYONE has heard already is that Furious, herby known as Beatch with HUGE TEETH, apparently took a diva strop when she realised that she COULDNT GET A $20K WATCH FOR FREE.



INSERTUNFLATTERINGIMAGEOFHILARYDUFFONLYATTHEDELIHERE

Thats fucking insane. I mean; Lindsay Lohan has to work for her free watches by sleeping with the presidents of Krieger and whatnot; at least its give a little [namely stds] get a little. But Furious D aka Beatch with HUGE TEETH, just thinks she can stroll in and get free £20k watches? Its almost like shes having a big joke. I can see Mariah Carey possibly doing that - because shes wired to Careyland, and maybe even Jennifer Lopez - if she hasn't already made her own range of ludicously un-necessarily expensive watches, but Hilary Duff? Thats like the ugly geek at high school expecting to be accepted as head cheerleader. Except in thise case its ugly, horeslike and anorexic geek. Im glad that wierd Krieger Lindsay Lohan Sexing president showed her her place by saying basically. "If you were Jennifer Lopez, we might actually consider giving you the $20k watch. But your Hilary Duff...If Jennifer Lopez was £20k youd be $4.5k, or if you do what Lindsay Lohan does your $10.5k." Its almost like those crazy watch people at Krieger know the Hollywood pay structure off by heart....

P.S Where exactly do celebrities get off openly accepting "freebies" when they already are rich enough to buy half of eastern Europe?

"I AM SO DONATING $1M TO THE HURRICANE APPEAL, THATS 3.5x WHAT I DONATED TO THE TSUNAMI APPEAL! AND 10000000X WHAT I DONATED TO ANY OTHER NATURAL DISASTER APPEAL. BUT THE $1M IS OF COURSE DEPENDANT ON HOW MUCH HORSEFEED AND GROOMING PRODUCTS I CAN GET FOR FREE OVER THE NEXT WEEK. " - Hilary Duff at the stable in my mind.

Kanye West is 50 Cent's she-bitch!
With embarrasing 50 cent image at the deli

It seems like 50 Cent's immensely small weiner has lead him to the conclusion that Kanye West owes his career to him. The ill-endowed rapper claims that Kanye West is successful because of him. Which makes perfect sense if your Mariah Carey because shes still in Mariah Land [where little pink versions of her massage her toes with vibrators]



50 Cent should have just said what everyone thinks - Kanye West is annoying. His new records blow and he has this wierd pretentious attitude that hip hop and rap stars simply arent allowed to have. I, for one, like my rap stars overcompensating with big cars and sock filled crotch grabs, maybe a few bullet marks on the chest and lyrics that degrade women and make us all genuinely believe that said Jude Law Sized rappers have had a tough life even though they all came from Bel Air. Like....the Fresh Prince of Bel Air.....Pulled up to the house about seven or eight and i yelled to the cabby yo homey, smell ya later, i looked at my kingdom i was finally there....what, who? huh? Where am i? Oh right 50 Cent and stuff.

So 50 Cent is clearly pretty deluded; and has remarkably not been photographed with Tara Reid in the past few weeks. Maybe its the music and bling thats turning him nuts; but to be honest when i see dellusional celebrities, Tara Reid is always pretty nearby so im stumped! I was watching the video for "GoldDigger" and i was wishing they had called it "Gravedigger" instead because then instead of Kanye West dancing backwards like some sort of giant retarded panda, Jamie Foxx could have burried Kanye West in the video then maybe someone could have placed an Urn in Jamie Foxx's throat so he could never do that wierd voice ever again.

I bet they are both insanely jealous of the REAL daddy of hip hop. The bootylicious Missy Elliot whos no doubt getting some hot Ciara transexual action....right now.
Oh and just for fun heres Mariah Carey looking like a sausage-delight.
[IMAGEONLYAVAILABLEINTHEDELI]

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Hilary Duff prances to horse show victory!
Your only getting images this time cause im feeling generous.


Courtesy of the HollywoodRag.
PRANCE HORSEY PRANCE LIKE YOU'VE NEVER PRANCED BEFORE!

I think maybe i was a bit harsh on Hilary when I called her a giant untalented shedevil. If i haven't already then Hilary Duff is a giant untalented shedevil. Anyway I think that this image could infact prove that Hilary may actually have the talent that all her kind envy.

She could be a show horse. I mean look at those lean legs, that horsey composure and giant horse mouth in full neighing motion! But there may be a problem - when all the horses have to take drug tests old Furious Duff may be showing a little risidual coke from the night before - and I don't mean the crap version of Pepsi either.

Think of the scandal that would spread into popular horse ring communities like the imaginatively titled "I Love Horses" which had the best advertisement for anything...ever. Even more shocked would be PleasureHorse, who would possibly not be thinking about pleasuring horses when they found out that one of their icons are doing such awful things as making children buy "Most Wanted" .Oh the shock horror!

On the plus side- Hilary could always become a model horse if the whole drug addiction thing ruins her show horse career.
She could take the Model name of Fuggamon D.


Sing it with me now,
"I love horses, best of all the animals, I love horses they're my friends!"

But for Furious D fans...
"I love crack addicted talentless anorexic horses, best of all the animals, I love crack addicted talentless anorexic horses - they're my idols!"

P.S - Im ill; and since I don't actually give a fuck about celebrities - updates are dry right now.
P.P.S - Hilary Duff is in no way associated with crack. Well. Not THAT kind of crack

Who the fuck jogs in those clothes? Sandals?!

#

Zack, when you post things like that it makes me wonder if your gay.

I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about. Really.

ps she looks so fucking stupid in those clothes! im still enraged; *who* wears those for a morning run? hello, people. you wear that out to a casual meet up... who cares if you're hillary the fucking horse duff?!

boo.

Oh my goodness, look at her expression and how she's running. She really looks like she's prancing.

Chiahahuaha's are so ugly. Ugly dog with an ugly girl.

The real task is saying whos who. I get confused.

Now I'm lost.

Britney Spears: Mother
http://news.yahoo.com/s/eo/20050914/en_celeb_eo/17362

Britney Spears has helped husband Kevin Federline multiply and replenish the earth. Again.

The "...Baby One More Time" singer gave birth to a baby boy Wednesday afternoon in Los Angeles. The child is Spears' first; Federline's third. He has two young children from his previous relationship with actress Shar Jackson.

According to U.K.'s Sky News, Spears was considering naming her and Federline's child London, after the British capital where their romance blossomed. Us Weekly's sources had the singer set on Preston Michael Spears Federline. Spears' publicist had no official confirmation.

The 23-year-old Spears recently told Elle that she considered pregnancy "mindblowing." "And therapeutic--all the secrets from your family come of the closet," she said.

Wait. Did someone else just post celebrity news in my thread?

Even if its the biggest celebrity news in all history ever....

Why was that posted here? It deserves its own thread.

Don't you talk down to my thread woman!

Britney gives birth to Swamp Baby!
Britney Spears; who by the way is the biggest MILF in the history of all things until December when Jennifer Garner pops out little baby Garfleck, has finally given birth. Sadly its a boy; so the "Im gonna want to meet her" line from that one episode of Friends just dosen't apply here.
I, for one, am glad that Britney Spears made it through the ardous proccess of being unconcious during birth, and is still around to make more music. I mean what is a transvestite to do when getting ready for a night at the clubs? Listen to Furious Duff?



Lets all welcome Fetus Swampina Spears to the world. I was dreading the day when the Spears bloodline would be forever tainted with Feder-Sperm - and the incarnation of FederSperm's valiant efforts appears to be here according to the always reliable US Weekly and yet i feel this odd feeling of "happiness" for someone ive never met in my life. Who is closely affiliated with Kevin Federline. Who is a sleazy rodent. I've been watching their awesomely poorly shot Home Videos on UPN'S "Chaotic" and Britney, bless, seems to be so incredibly lonely that a greasy haried, freeloadin ratboy suddenly becomes a more attractive alternative to having a lengthy relationship with a wall. A wall, of course, has more depth and is less horrifically obvious in its attempts to woo the worlds favourite pop bitch. But at least she dosen't have to go through the pain of having her boyfriend come out of the closet - a feat that one particularly famous Ex of Britney really needs to do inbetween filming movies that have incredibly gay posters where you look like your costars have just sodomised you. I just hope Britney dosen't forget she has a baby and wonders off leaving it in a park someday. Or do I...

P.s Congratulations on the baby Britney. Now get sexy again. Pleasssseeee get sexy again.

Due to a bizarre influx from some sort of Anorexic "cult support" page which...suspiciously you have to have signed up previously to access [and cannot join any more due to closed membership] I've had to place a disclaimer/note on Anorexia in the latest Hilary Duff article - just incase readers take it seriously [which i dont know if they do or not due to the EVIL CULT MEMBERSHIP SYSTEM]

I guess it goes without saying here that me calling Hilary Duff an Anorexic Drug Horse is somewhat different from reality.

got tired of waiting for you to post it. slacker

w00t! Deli combined views for the column [not counting my IP address] and here is now over 10,000!

More and more people are "syndicating" the column on their Yahoo homepages too.

Aside from the worrying influx of viewers from an anoreixa support cult thing i can officially tell you that

Google = a bitch
Yahoo = not.

Google's strenious and complicated filtering techniques mean that searching for content in the site through the search engine basically brings up the homepage every time. That sucks. Yahoo however has full RSS support and dynamic url capibilities. The result is that we have way more hits from Yahoo than from Google. Even though Google is a much bigger engine.

Theres a system that makes the site Google Friendly; but it means some areas of the site dont seem to work so whatever.