Matt Le Blanc is a hobo who pisses on Jennifer Aniston!

http://www.thesuperficial.com/archives/003174.html

Matt Le Blanc can be seen here peeing in public



Well i think its clear whats going on here.

Matt Le Blanc has obviously fallen on hard times - its likely NBC told him that Joey would only stick around because they are embarrased by its failure - and will cancel next season when they crack open the breakout sitcoms like "Hope and Style" or "Buddies" and the hotly tipped "Grassfield" They continued to tell LeBlanc that he may think hes slender; but his giant manboobs on the cover of various magazines beg to differ. They probobly also told him that his paycheck was unlikey to rise and he should actually be paying them for his show being on the air.

Paris Hilton thought she was buying lesbian porn this one time; but then realised [after her PR person Nicole Ritchie pointed it out] that it was just People Magazine and it had a breasted Le Blanc on the front. She dropped the magazine in horror and commented "Thats not hot. I fucked him with a potato." Hilton apparently lost interest in lesbianism when she found a peice of lint. It was hot.

Drea De Matteo said something butch then bent over - revealing her ass crack to the world once again.

Jennifer Aniston was alleged to have been in the bush Le Blanc is seen pissing into at the time. If you look closely you can see a hint of her blonde hair emerging from the foliage. She was reportedly spying on Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie having tantric sexy sex at the time - despite brad catching some sort of dangerous disease from Angelina's canyon.

'She didn't even know what was going on at first' said a source who suspiciously was with her at the time of the tragedy. 'At first she heard a zipper, and thought she had been rumbled, but then she knew straight away that it was someone peeing on her when she felt warm urine all over her trademark locks.' The source continued, using insultingly awful writing much like the actual columnists do at magazines like People and Star.' She was being peed on by Matt Le Blanc' the source finished, collapsing back in his chair after eating 20 donuts and referring to his own opinions as a 'source's

Le Blanc appeared apologetic - "Ill be there for you" he said. Bob Costa scoffed in the background. When Lisa Kudrow detected the events through her psychic channeling powers - she rushed to the scene of the pee and asked Le Blanc - "What the fuck are you doing with a gay Chihuahua?!" Before leaving to be mean to Courtney Cox for having amazing boobs right now. Thank you, pregnancy.

Like Jennifer Garner.

I think you take Michael the wrong way, he's more like performance art.

Like a mime?

You wish


P.S - when did archie get kind of humourous, decide to spoof eagle and have hot dancing Alizee in his avatar? Ive seen quite a transformation since he moved from BOM to KJ, and im pretty sure its somehow related to this amazingly great thread....

Between Archie being himself, having that avatar, and me gracing his signature, he has become the best poster in the world ever.

Aherm. Are you even reading this thread?

Something about Matt LeBlanc pissing on Owen Wilson's head while he licks pictures of a naked Cameron Diaz.

ft Mariah Sausages

Munchikin Stylist taking over world with evil clonelet army!

With Lindsay Lohan dropping pounds faster than Martha Stewart was out of jail - theres an eerie truth to the army of crack addicts in Hollywood right now. And it dosent involve Hillary Duff OR rat poison...yet



Lets do the restrospective thing that i enjoy doing when im bored. Lets.

1. Magazines and shit need to stop calling aneroxic "wispy thin". Anorexia dosen't need to be glamorised, thank you.

2. When Lindsay Lohan passes out in gym perhaps her tiny little brain cells buzzed a little and screamed "feed meeeee, feeeeeed meeeeeee" before exploding in a desperate bid to take a last breath of brain juice; if so it maybe was a good idea for Lohan to tuck into a Mcdonalds.....farm. Seriously bitch - eat. I for one really really appreciated your cleavage. Several times infact. The Mean Girls dvd is the best thing ever.

3. I think its once again clear whats going on here. This evil munchikin hobo called Zoe is creating an army of little dumb starlet clones who she, along with Tom Cruise, is brainwashing one by one into wearing the exact same clothes she wears [ie clothes that you would see sported by gypsies, but more affectionately called "bohemian chic" by fashion experts who have no sense of practicality or you know, reality] Lindsay Lohan is her top <strike>assasin</strike> clonelet with the mission of spreading various STDS, becoming ugly and taking crack. And then spreading her ethic to other young, attractive women who will soon become blonde, irritating and ugly too. Well im pretty glad we all saw this whilst it was still in development.

The only option we have left is to get Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Nicole Ritchie, All the little bony chicklets, place them in a tiny rowing boat and push them off in then direction of France. If they dont starve to death on the way there they will almost certainly fit in with the French.

And girls; lets take a little look about whos doing what right.

Women who look hot right now

Kelly Clarkson - She used to be spadeface uggggly. Now shes kind of hot.


Catherine Zeta Jones - This is what class looks like girls. You know, money and snobbery. Watch and learn.


Pregnant Boobs era Britney - because shes starting to actually, you know, wash. No one cares about the endless sea of makeupless britney pics now. It makes her look hotter because you know you could actually tap that. And she has big milkers which we now know 100000% are not fake. Aoooga!


Car Oil Era Shakira - Hey, It Rhymes!; Ive heard Shakira is a superbitch - but i dont care because if she looks that good she can ignore me all she wants.


Women who look like crack addicted whoores right now

Thinsay Lohan and Nicole Richie - part of the Clone Army. Evil, Scary and Boobless. For $7m id expect more than a science lab prop. The only two women in Hollywood who make 0 secrets about being total bitches.


Paris Hilton - an ex part of the Clone Army - Hilton is a whoore.



Women who just plain freak me out right now.


Love you Mariah [kissies]

Jude Law is a smarmy/stupid fucking idiot!

Jude Law, in his infinate wisdom, cheated on "Oh im so bohemian, and effortlessly chic too! Why am I famous again?" Sienna Miller, who is bohemian chic, famous, and generally hot, with his 32 year old nanny. His children walked in on him and he told his ex-wife of his affair before he told Sienna Miller; who has left him.



So I was thinking. No one actually likes Jude Law anyway. I mean, really, who likes Jude Law apart FROM Sienna Miller and their slutty nanny? Who thinks he can actually act? No, didn't think so! It seems hes just the posterboy for Metrosexuality. And everyone fucking hates metrosexuality so therefore we can derrive that everyone fucking hates Jude Law.

But now we don't have to feel a twang of guilt for hating him just because hes better looking and famous for pink shirts [and not much else]; now we can hate him for being a fucking idiot.



Sienna Miller is like, seriously hot in the "Oops i fell into Glastonbury rock festival and got all muddy, and surprisingly still look the same half washed Chic that i am" kind of way. Shes not Giselle hot; but youd be gay to say no to Sienna Miller. Which brings me to my next pont.

Jude Law is clearly gay. The fact he left one extraordinarily hot woman to go bang a nanny suggests that it dosen't matter what hole hes getting. And therefore hes gay.

Anywhoo. Aside from Jude Law being an idiot and Sienna Miller being a fashion accessory ; if Sienna leaves Jude like every sensible woman would do - she will become stupendously rich and famous thanks to what i like to call...."the public sympathy vote" Whilst Jude Law will continue to be shit, annoying and basically ask me to punch his face right in with every word he says. I used to have to go to hosptial during the "Alfie" adverts because of all the times i actually pounced on my teleivsion screaming like a shebitch "SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU DREADFUL LITTLE MAN". Smarmy is not hot.

Did I tell you guys about this one time? Well, this one time i had a kid with Jude Law, and he didn't pay me child support. So i put it inside Britney Spears to keep it warm. I hope little Imogen is okay in there; with all that rat tail going inside britney's cradle of filth.

Jude Law is a huge fucking idiot. That nanny better have been one of the hottest women ever, or at the very least was hotter than Sienna Miller, which is a seriously difficult thing to accomplish because she's really goddamn hot.

In past news, Nicole Richie looked fine a while ago, but that picture makes her look like a skeleton with one coat of paint on it.

What cracks me up is what did Sienna Miller think he was going to be like when he cheated on his wife with her, even having kids. She knew first hand he was the cheating type.

Hillary Duff has a Huge Horse Mouth!

Funnily, Vincent was just asking me kindly to leave Oh So Huge Rectangular One out of this threads tireless and constant celebrity butchering. I said, "I only slaughter celebrities that do stupid shit. Hillary Duff needs to do more stupid shit, like say, making an animated film about food products with her sister."

But anyway; just as i was ready to compare Hillary Duff to a huge can of beans - which i will do anyway; Hillary broke her dumbass-celebrity-shit silence and did something side-splittingly awful.

She got GIANT VENEERS WHICH MAKE HER LOOK LIKE A HUGE HORSE!



Image Link : http://www.thesuperficial.com/image.php ... hb_009.jpg

I don't think Hillary Duff's intended effect when getting those fakeys put in was to "look like a huge horse" but she sure has that stable-mate quality about her now. Tell me, were your eyes drawn to Duff's new smokey, suspiciously "Clone Army" style? Or were they drawn to the teeth which look set to turn around and bite her head off?

That would be an awesome movie. Watching Hillary Duff's teeth consume her entire body; then her sisters too.
Elsewhere: Duff's rectangular body seems to be developing...curves. [MY PANTS ARENT EVEN MILDLY TIGHT RIGHT NOW, I DONT HAVE SEX WITH HORSES.....MOSTLY]

So shes getting curvy[er], shes starting to look like a Clonelet, and shes got giant veneers that don't really fit into her tweenage mouth. Is she trying to morph into Hillary Swank?

I mean, Hillary Swank is pretty horse-ish too. And that bitch's mouth is huge.


But Hillary Swank is a hotty. I mean. I think shes hot. Even if she looks like shes hiding a saddle.

If we think about it really though....all the big names in Hollywood have massively exagerated mouths. Julia Roberts, Cameron Diaz, Tom Cruise, Mel Gibson, Jennifer Garner, Sandra Bullock. They all have giant mouths. Maybe Duff's insanely ridiculous desicion to put giant teeth in her tiny little mouth was to make her not have such a fake smile OR to join the leagues of Hollywood elite?

Either way, Hillary Duff reminds me of a GIANT CAN OF BEANS with a HORSE MOUTH.

This thread is very ... I don't know what the hell this thread is, I can't put it into words

"awesome"

No but if you'd like to keep thinking that, go a head

Your just jealouss!!"!! Jealus becuz im aweosome and this thread kicks and the aliens support it!

I thought she was just...growing up..haha.

but I noticed it too. I prayed they were porceline veneirs, cause if they weren't I thought she was gonna grow up to be ugly.

Courtney Love = Moby Dick!

Wow. Courtney love is a huge fatass.

Image Link :Courtney Love Looking Obese

I mean; we should be dishing her praises for coming off her drug addiction - but the only reason she got on her drug addiction is because shes a self-obsessed murdering she-bitch whos so hollow inside that she needed drugs to give her a partial personality. "Oh yeah, Courtney Love - that junkie bitch?!"

Now we don't can just say "Oh yeah, Courtney love - that fat bitch?!" but way to go Courtney. You have my support. Being fat is a whole lot more fun than being dead.....or is it?

Maybe i just think shes fat because she chose to stand next to "BBF" Pamela "MY BOOBS ARE SO HUGE THEY HURT" Anderson at some shitty awards thing.

In similar news - Pamela Anderson is re-marrying her former abuser Tommy Lee Jones and in the following picture im pretty sure is a hand mark on her shoulder...

Image Link: Pamela Anderson looking bruised

I can't really joke about that because wife beating is just wrong. Well, there is one form of wife beating that is so, so right. But its Pamela Anderson. Thats a given. Did i mention Tommy Lee Jones is a fucking idiot? Lets put him in a lions pit with Jude "Punchmequickly" Law. Yeah id pay for that shit.

Hilary Duff = Satanic Horse!

So I've Decided horse mouth hilary is way hotter than rectangular lollipop Hilary. What? Im pretty sure shes legal here. And shes roughly my age. So its like, so not wrong. Im not swimfan. Really im not.

Anywhoo the news is that Hillary Duff is like, such a rebel. The fact shes also a horse makes it kind of funny. I imagine her to be like the horse from the Simpsons, Furious D. Except blonde, in pink clothes and a horrific singer.



Wow. Well i think we all know what this means. Hilary Duff = a closeted satanist. Her dating of watered down commercial crap Good Charlotte's Joel Madden shows us that Hillary is ready to unleash her satan worshipping side to the world.

I mean; i had always suspected she was the spawn of satan. She released this one song and i played it backwards and my ears started bleeding profusely. Then i realized that I had actually forgot to press Reverse. When i did my head exploded and there was a Christina Aguelria song embedded into it.

By the way, did i mention Hilary Duff is a horse? She is. Shes also so rebelious and edgy and i can't wait for her new album's edgy rock sound. I believe its called either "So Tomorrow", "Baby, Wake me Up!" "Dont Leave Me Now" or the most likely "Satan is my only god!!!!!! DIE CHRISTIANS DIE!"

We shall see indeed.

thhis thread is like..access hollywood...


..on coke...

I know, I know - its THE SHIT.

Meanwhile, Jessica Alba seen rolling in shit!
Where shit is a substitute for money and Jessica Alba is a substitute for Oprah.

As news of Colin Farells sex tape spread further, There was much speculation by speculators that i would make fun of Colin Farrels' dissapointingly tiny penis in this thread.

But i really, really dont give a shit.
When watching Daredevil i was like, wtf is this dude doing taking up valuable Jennifer minutes? Let me tell you the bit where Elektra walks into the coffeeshop and...."twinkles" has been burned out of my Daredevil DVD due to overuse.
Anyway, Colin Farrell has sex with male producers and co-stars so whatever he does ill be like "Yeah shut up you Joel Schumaker sexing Scottish wannabe!"

Infact, celebrities have been so incredibly boring over the last 24 hours i almost slagged off Jude Law some more. But then realised that Hilary Duff is a giant horse.

Hilary Duff is a Giant Can of Horse Beans!

Well; i haven't seen any images from the forthcoming Hilary and Haylie Duff movie, "Foodfight". But id imagine Hilarys character to look something like...



And now in ANIMATED FLAVOUR TOO!

Hilary's character is likely to simply neigh at various intervals of the films runtime

Whilst sister Haylie Duff...

Image Link: Fugly Bitch

Will be all like "Mom, Dad, im totally grateful that i didnt inherit the no-neck that Hilary has to endure, but did you really have to give me a GIANT CHIN and an ELBOW NOSE? I look somewhat like a deep sea fish!"


Now can someone go and tell Jessica Alba to stop talking about her love life like anyone cares and make Mariah Carey blame George Bush for the failing of her dress to hold in her giant sausage body?


Edit: Can i just take a moment to say in this general collection of tidbits that I NOW WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH JACK OSBOURNE?



I want in on HIS diet.

BUt have you guys seen Peter Jackson lately....freakin monster!

Whilst Jack Osbourne is looking incredibly not "Shoot me for the good of humanity" ugly - Britney Spears is looking "shoot me because i look fucking ridiculous" isnt she?



Hey Y'ALL! MY legs arent really this freakin fat its just because ur usin a cah-mer-ah that dont have the airbrush lenses!

Note: This image is old. but dosent change the fact it exists.

Jessica Simpson without makeup also isn't exactly boner enducing