In case you've been living in a cave, or were too upset about the Pope's death and/or the election of the first Nazi Pope (that's a fact), then I have some news for you: USDA has just announced a new food pyramid. 12 different pyramids, actually, but that's beside the point. You can even get a personalized one, if you go to mypyramid.gov and enter your age, gender, and the amount of physical activity you do everyday. Sounds innocent enough, right? WRONG!

Try entering an age over 80, and see what happens then.

Now, who says our government can't think of innovative ways to cut the budget deficit? As Joe Stalin used to say (for all who are about to accuse me of being a Stalinist, that was a nod to Megamoze) "no person, no problem". Combine that with the old folks' notorious trust (hell, someone MUST be keeping the telemarketing industry afloat), and you've got yourself a winner.

You drunken, vainglorious lout!


*Hint to Yeats*

I feel dumber than rusty when reading a newspaper.

Still, I got the gist of it, and I ain't liking it! What did I do to deserve such harsh treatment from Yeats?

Nothing, but Yeats was on my mind.

It's a great poem.

Btw, I have a hard time understanding your first post. Do you mean that the diet plan is meant to kill off the elderly? Is inadequate for them?

Did you try going to the website and putting in the age of over 80?

Yes. It's highly inadequate. The diet I mean.

Especially given that it consists of a grand total of zero calories (I was trying to keep this a secret from readers so as not to spoil it for them).


But you know, if a person lives to be 80+, they should be glad they're not dead yet. Wanting to be healthy would be an audacious desire. How dare them!


Also, I predict that in 2056, three months after my own death (to be mourned by more people than can be tended for during my funeral so as to give off the image of a huge crowd), I think 80+ year olds will be, eh, disposed of, to be replaced with less infantile and senile robots.

Just making sure.

The original post was made to praise the government for such radical solutions.

Krem, hae you kept track of the alarming drop in life expectancy in Russian and Eastern Europe? I'm not sure if it has started to go up again (probably), but the drop post-Soviet collapse was horrendous.

Yeah, I know. It has to do with two things: fudging the numbers by the good ol' USSR and the rampant alcoholism. It's more or less OK in the cities, but you get out to the villages, and you start to wonder if you're witnessing the looming apocalypse.

what's that supposed to mean?

There was a guy from NPR who was testing it before the release in February and he said he violated most of the chart by the end of breakfast.

Ultimately this means nothing.

Damn, I checked it out and practically my entire diet consisted of drinking milk.

I smell dairy subsidization and Hood backroom handouts in the development of these charts...

I wouldn't worry over any of this.

Now, if the government were to declare Logan's Run an excellent documentary, then I would start worrying.

..Damn, according to this thing I should consume 2,000 calories a day. I probably don't even eat more than 1,600 in two days. They want me to get fat or something. THE BASTARDS! :evil:

You live off 800 calories a day?

I am shocked you can lift your head or even type at the keyboard. That seems like too little for anyone.

Many factors must be figured in. 2000 calories a day for 5ft2in petite women for example would be looking for trouble.

But this is neither dark plot nor a conspiracy, and I wasnt here and I didnt type this.

I'm supposed to eat 2,600 calories a day? Bullshit. I'm physically very healthy, and I usually don't eat 2,000 calories a day.

*laughs*

That's great, we'll just theold foolks to starve themselves to death.