When you’re hanging out with someone one on one, how much time is normal to spend in conversation vs. silence? I’m always anxious that if I’m too quiet people will think I’m boring, but I also don’t want to ramble on about nothing important. I’ve recently become a rambler who never shuts up because of how much I hate awkward silence, and I’m trying to force myself to only say things that I actually care about. But usually, when the other person is not speaking, I feel like I have to fill the din. I just wish I wasn’t so anxious and was able to be quiet without fearing judgment.

Who gives a shit if people think you're boring? Talk as much or as little as you want to. The years will pass and you will eventually find a group of friends or just one friend that you can act yourself around, while the rest drop off because they're shit.

Ever heard of social anxiety? It's not as simple as you make it sound.

It actually is. Once you get out there and experience life, you'll realise how pathetic your world was before and how small your "problems" actually were. And I'm older than you, so I've been through these "problems" you're facing. Take it from me, tackling it the way you started this thread is not the right way to do so.

It's not really a problem, it's just hard to get over being self conscious about how much I talk, what I talk about, if I'm gossiping, if the other person is interested or just being nice, etc.

Well from the other thread it seemed like you were able to have long conversations about your feelings with other people like Mario and Belle, or have brunch dates where you talk for hours with people. So it doesn't seem like you're doing that bad. Maybe it's not as easy at a social gathering with people you don't know, but it's not always supposed to be

Yeah, that's a problem. It's a trivial teenage problem for someone that lacks confidence, but a problem nonetheless.

Oh no, I'm capable. But sometimes I feel like I talk just for the sake of talking, and I want to be comfortable just not talking and not feel like I have to constantly babble on so people think I'm interesting. I just am always thinking "I'm talking now, should I stop or keep going". Or like yesterday I was riding the train with my closest friend for like an hour and a half, and like I trust him completely, but whenever I wasn't talking to him, I was like "should I say something or no? Am I being weird and quiet?" Even though I know he doesn't care I have a need to entertain people almost it seems.

In my experience, people that constantly babble on are usually the least interesting.

Exactly. I want to find a good balance.

Suppressing the babble will only make things worse.

If you have to think about it this much you may be missing the point. You want improvisational jazz, not written sheet music. That takes connecting with other people and ability to communicate and share yourself, just because you talk a lot doesn't mean that will be the case. Even if you succeed at making people "like" you by talking the just right amount, is it a real connection or just shallow gratification? And in general it seems like the best way to make people like you would be to actually emotionally connect with them, there's a reason why people fall in love when they connect with people, liking someone probably comes from the same place. The version of making someone like you just by talking the right amount or being entertaining or whatever, is mostly meaningless, or not the type of people you want to attract anyways.

My parents are narcissists and go into social gatherings basically treating it like a competition and trying to "win" at socializing and come off as the star, they talk a lot, have inauthentic laughs, they have beats with pretty much rehearsed stories (will tell the same word for word one at different events) about the last vacation they went on. I've heard them having conversations after where my father was being critical about her talking too much or too little etc., I've found a list my mom made planning out all the things she was going to talk about with her brother on the phone. Sure they make people "like" them (if they do), but what's the point? They don't have emotional relationships with any of these people or barely each other. Nobody is really their friend beyond needing someone to golf with or whatever. I only met my grandparents and aunt/uncle 3-4 times in my life because my father has no relationship with them (my mom's live on the other side of the country and largely speak French, but other people with that distance probably make it a way more than they did). The subject of inability to talk has been a big part of my life because by the time I realized I actually wanted to communicate with people instead of just fraud my way through it, I didn't have the groundwork, you're supposed to learn how to do this and develop brain synapses at 2-8 years old and at that point I was learning to be closed off not open up. Unfortunately while I agree with Algren that it's meaningless how good you are at small talk, I just can't force myself to not care about it

As a net listener, keep talking, I don't like to talk unless necessary, nor do I care to.