Marriage is a thing religion mandates for those looking to "become one". It's also convenient for for child rearing. But I don't understand why someone would want to get married if they didn't want kids and they weren't religious. Why legally bind yourself to someone for life when so many marriages end in divorce? Isn't it better to just stay with a person as long as they fulfill you, but be free to move on once the relationship no longer brings you happiness? The idea of making a lifelong commitment may be romantic, but the reality is half of couples that get married divorce, and a lot of those that stay married the spark gets long lost.

Ask George Clooney and Brad Pitt. They have for sure though long about it and can give a detailed answer.

Divorce rates are down to 33%. https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/won ... e7b76b7caa

So...

Why do you care? If you don't want to get married, don't. If you do, do.

I think a marriage provides something tangible that both people in the marriage can work on, rather than relying on the ebbs and flows of feelings. Sure, I could have been with my wife for the rest of our lives without getting married. But I liked the idea of marriage. I think it gives people a sense of accomplishment to have a successful one.

The idea of not wanting to be married because maybe you don't want to be with that person forever is silly. If you don't want to be with someone forever, don't get married. Divorce isn't some disease that kills you. It's not something to be afraid of, unless you're rich and stupid.

Just wanted opinions. I want children and am religious so marriage makes sense to me. A lot of my friends who aren't religious and don't want kids think marriage is not for them.

It's a way of proving their love/commitment to the other person.

For money
For love
For sex
For companionship
For kids
For punishment
For stupid reasons like those above

.

Also, marriage invests both parties w/ certain legal rights you would (typically) want your partner to have.

If half the couples are "making it" and you didn't then you or the person you chose was the problem, not the concept of marriage.

You get married because you're an idiot.

Are you married Algren?

Not everyone is wise enough to make the correct decision the first time.

Yeah, you might not even be allowed to see the person you love while they're dying in a hospital otherwise, because you wouldn't be related. It's the same with a lot of benefits (some insurances and such extend to your spouse) and things like inheritance. Over here you have registered partnerships too as an alternative sort of civil union, but generally marriage is the best/only way to have your relationship legally recognised.

In my case it would seem to be (by far) the best way to actually be able to live with my partner, because immigration (especially into the US) is a long and arduous process that's a lot more smoother/easier for someone married to a U.S. citizen. Again, more or less a legal rights sort of thing.

Taxes. Many get married because of taxes.

Is it not an option for your partner to go to The Hague? I mean Fort Worth is probably not as cool as The Hague...

Immigration into the Netherlands isn't that much easier, not for people outside of the EU. Besides, he doesn't speak Dutch while I'm fluent in English, he's got family there while I don't really have much over here, I've got a better degree than he does (bachelor's vs associate's), he doesn't know anyone over here while I call several of his friends my own, and he would NOT like the much colder climate over here while I can easily adjust to a summer that's almost year round.

Okay, all are valid arguments except for the language thing. I am always under the impression that you can get by perfectly just knowing English in the Netherlands. You guys all speak it well (thanks to not dubbing films and TV series, I guess).

We do, but he'd still be living in a place where he wouldn't be understand people speaking their native language (which would happen a lot) and it's not exactly something that helps you on the job market. I've seen it with the wife of someone I know, where despite everyone around her being able to speak English, they'd still end up speaking Dutch to each other and she'd have very little idea of what was going on unless someone translated for her, or addressed her directly in English. You can easily get by here if all you speak English, but 'getting by' is hardly ideal.

Hm, understand. I find Dutch to be fairly easy to understand, but obviously knowing German helps.

Dutch is the language most similar to German, so that makes sense. There's less similarities between English and Dutch, even though it's apparently also the closest language to English if you ignore Frisian (like everyone does). So it shouldn't be too hard for him to learn it if he wanted to, but me already knowing English is far more convenient.

Dutch is weird in the sense that it sounds a lot like German in many instances, but then I hear somethign that totally sounds like English...

I am usually going over the border at least once every two months (though recently more often) to see movies even before they are screened for press here. Going to Kerkrade or Heerlen most of the time. I love Dutch movie theatres, the fact that you can bring your own 3D glasses and technically they are also top-notch. While I am there, I usually going shopping for groceries as well because Dutch grocery stores (= Albert Heijn) are similar to the French and both have a much much much bigger variety of products than German ones.

When did I say they were? But if you read the rest of my post, you would see getting divorced is an option. And it's not some death knell.

I don't really get the stigma that comes with divorce (though it's certainly less now than it used to be), but then I'm not religious or very conservative and see marriage as a (very important) commitment you make to another, not some kind of life sentence.

And Lecter, it amuses me that you come to Holland for things like that when so many Dutch people near the border regularly go into Germany, mostly for lower gas prices and some products that you can't get over here, like proper German bread. I would get all my bread in Germany if I had the option. Do you mind that Dutch theatres play English movies, or do you prefer it that way? And how is it possible that movies release over here before they're even screened for the press in Germany?

My wife and I are atheists. We never wanted kids and don't have any. We've been married over 34 years now.

We love each other and wanted to commit to each other.

Yes.