oh no don't worry that's just your teenage crisis. the mid-life one is still to come.

Tim

Theres another one STILL to come !?

I should start writing EMO music about how i feel "empty inside" . Id be so hip.

For the vast majority of teenagers, they don't have to be pressured into sex. In fact, parents, educators, and a few of their peers have to pressure them into NOT having sex. That's just biology at work.

Obviously hormone levels differ from person to person so it's entirely possible that some teenagers just aren't as compelled to have sex, and view it as a social pressure. But I'd say that's less common than the teenager driven by raging sexual hormones.

Eh? You're generalizing all teenagers into one group that is not as large as you make it out to be. Most don't need to be pressured into sex.

After you reach puberty, you're ready to have sex. The only reason people "aren't ready" is because society has completely warped sex into either (depending on your upbringing) something villianous or something far more important/life changing then it really is.

Well guys again reigonal differences and matters of perception change the way we think about it on other sides of the world.
Im speaking from experience - there is immense pressure to have sex by the time your my age and ive only started to see that since ive left school for college; just from the way that everyone else is so vocal about sex in general. I know several people who went out with someone they didnt really like all that much just to lose their virginity.

I hardly think that people "arent ready" for sex because society says its wrong; some people see sex as a different thing than just a way to relieve pent up tension, or to progress into another plateau in your life.

most likely because they've been brainwashed into thinking so. ahem religion ahem

you're goin to hell if you fuck out of wedlock

Tim

Well ive not been brainwashed by religion - im a catholic [albiet one whos gonna have to pray alooottt when the apocolypse comes] ; and i dont think theres anything wrong with sex outside of marriage - but i feel that if you find someone you love then why not? Its not like society is going to kill you today if you have sex when your not married. I understand why people like of have sex loads and i can also see where people who are "saving themselves" for marriage are coming from; im at a middleground.

A way to relieve pent up tension or reach another plateau? What the fuck? (pardon my pun)

You have it entirely backwards. Sex is just sex. And if you see it as anything other than a biological function, it's because society has created those artifical constructs for you. Some of those are good, and some are bad. And some people are obviously affected differently by them.

i have yet to meet someone who is saving themselves for marriage for reasons that i see as being appropriate.

granted, they can think whatever the fuck they want, but most of the time their reasons makes no sense.

Tim

Heh, Hold up this isn't the matrix
It is a little funny how much times have changed - that the one who suggests sex may not be just something people should do without comitting is being critisized.

I stand by my views [which i feel are being painted a smidgen more extreme than they actually are]; and you know I really don't care if other people have sex when they are 10 or 100, virgins or not, married or not. Its none of my buisness; people try to make sure you know they have a sex life like im supposed to care. All that matters in the field of sex to me is my own sex life; i have my own personal views and ideals about it and screw what society "constructs" for me.

Good way to make people dismiss anything youve said in this thread in one, swift smiley...

It's not your view that's being criticized, but rather your belief that society hasn't contributed to it or that this is some enitrely autonomous rational conclusion of yours.



That's entirely the point. Society has in fact contructed that view for you (in cooperation no doubt with your biological predispositions) that sex should wait until you're in a committed loving relationship.

If you mean yourself, say yourself; why say "people" as if you're talking about anyone else.

I just thought that particular phrase of yours was humorous the way you said it, like it was a deliberate joke.

I disagree with your analysis of my views [although i do find some truths in there]. Im a romantic guy and i like to believe that some of my views on this subject aren't simply part of a social construction. I dont think its fully understood what my position on this issue actually is; for me to do that would take more time and energy than im willing to invest on a matter that means very little to me to be honest.

Dismissing peoples views on sex because of their religion is very narrow-minded though - sure Catholicism hasn't been getting much slack recently - and im not the most avid follower of all of its crevases etc - but I have not once been told by my church that sex out of wedlock is wrong; its not really a message the Catholic church in my locale is too bothered about for some reason.

I'm still a virgin... I don't really PLAN on having sex anytime soon... but if the right person were to come along I would have to think long and hard about if I really wanted to do it. I've seen what can happen when your careless and how much it can mess up your life, hell my friend had a baby in october at the ripe age of 18. I know that I'm physically and mentally ready, I would just need the other person to be as well.

oh, and btw, does anyone know the EXACT laws about sex with someone if their under 18? just wondering

Exact laws vary from state to state, I believe.


What is the appopriate age for someone to have sex? Whenever that person is ready for the emotion issues, risks, and dangers involved. God knows I've talked to plenty of girls who weren't, and now they have 2 kids before high school is over (I should know....I live with one).

I agree with Beebleborx...biologically, people are ready anywhere from ages 12-16. But this is not a strictly biological society we're talking about. You have to consider what kids are doing at those ages, which is (for most of us, anyway) schooling. And in this society, completing your education through until college is much more important than anything else, so society casts a taboo outlook on something as major as a baby that might hinder a person form doing it.

Of course, it's all relative to the person. I personally feel that I am ready for sex. I'm not stupid enough to have it unprotected. I'm completely unafraid to come talk to my mother about it, if I need to. And if something does happen...faulty condom, I think I am responsible enough to tackle the responsibilities of a kid. Hell, I've helped raise kids since the age of 10. I work with kids. That's not the same as actually having one, but I'm no ignorant sap on the subject.

But like I said, it won't happen anytime soon. As much as I hear that High school is just to have fun, my virginity will not be lost to just anybody. I may not hold out until my honeymmon night, but I can guaruntee that I won't have any random carousing sex over the next several years.

Sex is appropriate for anyone who is mature enough, physically, mentally AND spiritually, to handle it. Therefore it depends on the person, and so the age varies, and there is not a set age limit.

PEACE, Mike

When you're married

People like to believe a lot of things, like the earth being created in just 7 days. That doesn't necessarily make them true.



I agree to some extent, although I think many religious views on sex are far more narrow-minded, and sometimes inherently reckless and dangerous.

Then theres alot of inappropriate sex going on these days because god only knows alot of people are mature enough in any of those categories to do it.

I agree completely.

I don't think the proper solution should be a law against teenage sex and I definitely don't agree with those who advocate abstinence-only education. If the real taboo is teenage pregnancy, then the proper recourse would be education about how to avoid pregnancy with protected sex.

If the woman is old enough, you don't have to worry about her getting pregnant. Just don't go upstairs unless you see a copy of AARP on the coffee table, then you're safe.

Well said MikeQ!!

Like I've said before, the introduction to our sexual being is a random as the individual. Some people think they are ready for sex, rush into it and regret it, some cannot wait to engage in it and either love it or are extremely dissappointed. Bottom line, 'to each his own'...but I'd like to add...'to thine own self be true'...which is what MikeQ. is saying.

For me, I was 17, madly, madly in love and it just developed toward that level. I don't regret being with her and neither she with me. It was right time and we both were mature enough in every aspect to manage along. Though we aren't together in this day, we still share a deep bond and love. We don't regret anything.

No, there is a large difference to people engaging in inappropriate sex because of societal pressure, etc., to really knowing yourself and having the mature ability to understand that the time has come.

Times change and so do age controls. Look to the past. It was always appropriate in our modern terms, but I think the responsibilty to the roles for most were handled better than today. Proper sexual education these days are the key.