For me, without question, I am attracted to smart girls. There isn't a sexier quality that a woman can have IMO.

Be honest, what do you like best?

Smart and Great sense of Humor, Thats all i need

Oh, intelligence, without a doubt.


The greatest gift anyone can give you is to stimulate you in an intelligent and involving discussion. And if a woman can be engaging when discussing, say, Don Quixote or The Brothers Karamazov, well then, what more is there to wish for?

Good looks? An ability to work with whatever the situation of the first meeting is with finesse and humor? Not to be the shallow one here, but we're talking initial attraction right? Not three months into the relationship. In that case I agree with everything already mentioned, and nothing kills more than being bored by the words and thoughts that escape the person you would like to talk to everyday.

BUt for first meeting, its pretty tough to establish their knowledge of topics. I find the easiest way to tell if they are "smart' when first meeting is if they manage to make casual chit-chat interesting. I've been to places where the way to start talking is "About a song that just came on the juke box, or what the drink or the house is, or what the homework assignment was." In those cases someone truly attractive actually engages you on that in one way or another. Usually through cynicism with a touch of sincerity, but hey, it shows a good mind. I genuinely appreciate someone who can take the flimsy piece of straw I provide them with an excuse to talk and manage to spin it into gold.

Doesn't hurt if they have an aura that you can get into. I can't say I'm attracted to this color hair or this type of shoe, but when I see someone and can just sense how they carry themselves and their personality, that great. Its often misleading when they turn out to be idiots down the road, but for a first feel, there's nothing like the way they are standing. Eh, having trouble explaining myself.

Initial: Good looks (duh)
Otherwise: Sense of humor

But good looks are so obvious. Urgh.

Maybe because you are blessed with them. But for the rest of us, its not a given, so we still notice. :wink:

Remember, everyone, the question is what quality attracts you most , not what quality attracts you first. I think we can all agree that the physical attraction comes first, and we all can probably agree that a beautiful person , who is ugly on the inside , is just as ugly on the outside when we get right down to it, and the same for the opposite.

No, I didn't mean it in that way. The way I read Mav's question, I thought he meant what ultimately mattered the most. Good looks...they come and go...

Oh yeah...two of our fine ladies have already answered, but I wanted to personally extend an invitation to the other girls to answer this, as us guys need help. :bud:

Lots of other things including intelligence and nice looking. Hey you want to be attracted to the person that you are with.

But

A girl who is nice, kind and giving - not talking sexual for the ones with dirty minds. (likes to do little things for you - especially when its surprising and unexpected)

I know. I'm just teasing you.

Anyways, if we're going to go with most than I'd say compatible visions and life desires. look at Jen and Brad (yes, you heard me). They are both good looking, they both had good sense of humor, were fairly mature and intelligent. One wanted kids, the other didn't. Its over. I don't think I could relate and be attraacted to someone whom I really can't comprehend. There's the intelligence, the humor, everything, but if I don't fundamentally at least kind of relate to their larger vision of life (its not going to be a perfect match of course, just an understanding I can work with and vice-versa) than I think eventually the spark would be gone. We wouldn't be able to really contribute to eachother's lives in a very primary and fundamnetal way if we don't understand eachother, so would grow apart, maybe even lead to alienation.

Sweetness, and funny!

Interesting. The only problem I see with that, is that people change. If you pick somebody who is a good match fundamentally now, he could change his perspective through various circumstances, and you're out of luck. Nothing ever stays the same, which is both a sad truth and a hopeful outlook.

Personally, I disagree with your comments about change.

I have seen / been in lots of relationships and no matter whether you are the same or different - both can work or not work - depending on how much you put into making it work.

Nothing is going to be perfect as everything has ups and downs. So you have to work at it.

Well, change is a part of life, not just my opinion. If you choose somebody now because of fundamental goals or desires, you have no guarantees that those goals and desires won't change. Most likely, they will over time, unless those goals are met within a certain timeframe.

Intellectually funny

I also think change usually coincides with a consistent world view. Not always, but often enough. I can't explain it all that well, but lets take a guy on Wall Street. He has a certain set of values. He sees worth in certain things, a certain lifestyle, etc. Now he may hate working on Wall Street and want to be in a different situation (change) but that still supports his view of what is valueable in life (consistent world view). Granted, some people have serious nervous breakdowns on wall street and realize they don't hold as valueable the sytem the system and ideals of people who live that lifestyle. But that doesn't necessarily mean they have changed inherently in their world view, they're just struggling to understand themselves and their desires. This is coming off as awfully foolish and much to simple, but you all know what I mean. You meet someone and they're perfect, smart, nice, etc, and you still just don't "get" them. That ultimately mean you will never really be able to help them acheive what they want and make the best out of themselves. You can sit their and coo everynight in 100% support without realizing they may need tough lovin' and a slap in the face. You may force your ideals onto them and not understand why they just come across as distasteful when he/she regurgitates them back to you. You may go so far as to really convince them, but they don't fundamentally understand, and are just going through the motions. Same thing of course, for them with you.

If you just don't "get" someone, it starts to come through after a few years, and then its sad. Because you may love eachother, but not comprehend eachother in a way where you can really help eachother flourish. Or, you may become bored, not relate, it could end very ugly. Even with two smart civil people that are normally very respectful, being with someone for two long when long ago you stopped understanding eachother can lead to not so spectacular things. On the other hand, these ultimate ambitions aren't always where we expect them to be. They could be in "settling down" and two people that really idealize and strive for the same concept of domestic stability can have alot of "other" very strong differences, and still make it happen (read: work through it) because ultimately they both relate to eachother's ambitions for life.

Not making any sense, but oh well...it makes sense to me.

BOOBS!!


























just kidding. I'm most attracted to a nice smile, and good personality in a woman. and boobs too :rock:

I know im going to get my head ripped off for saying this

But girls are WAY more fickle than boys in what they look for - they are shallow that way - they like handsome people first, personalities later. Thats why there are so many single 30 somethings who are having sex with whoever they met in a club they are too old to go to these days. But seriously at college the chicks are dull because they only ever perv on guys. We aren't allowed to do it though.

A nice smile is definately there for me; then i want a woman who i can share ideals with, not so much share as exchange, i want someone who could intelectually challenge me that way - problem is; women don't like being intelectually challenged and too many guys like to think they have the upper hand in a relationship they dont' - women prefer the assert an unspoken dominance over men in a relationship and thats something that probobly causes alot of arguments - the power struggle. Id want to sidestep that...

Theres a totally stunning blonde bombshell in college that i spoke to in London once - shes tanned, very blonde, blue eyes, shes the ultimate image of what a blonde should be; but after London she just stopped speaking to me - and then i realised from the way she was to others that she had a genuinely unlikable personality; that altered the way i percieved her beauty, instead i started seeing faults in her rather than accomodating her usual attributes.

And on the subject of "people never change" ? Of course they do, maturation is another way of saying someones changing as they age. Im a totally different person than I was two, three years ago.

You're right, you are going to ripped. Then again I pretty much disagree with about everything you say, so it does not surprise me nor should it surprise you that I find this statement utterly stupid.

So only women go around and have sex with people they meet in clubs. Give me a fucking break. For most of history women did not have the option to behave in this way, yes now they do, so you knwo BOTH men and women act like this. Both genders are shallow, quite frankly we all have our shallow moments.

I spent alot of time with highly intelligent comptuer geeks, and many of them all have nice down to earth intelligent girlfriends...they all still fawn over the idiot department bibmbo who could not base the into comp sci class like she's the best thing in the world. Just as women say they want a nice guy, yet the continue to date the asshole who treats them like shit. People are shallow, they do not know what they want, and they make bad decisions. Part of being less shallow about relationships can come with maturity.

Men and women are both shallow, it just manifests itself differently.

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Now to answer Mav's question, its really combination of intelligent and humour.

They guys I like the most, the ones that leave a lasting impression, the ones I fall in love with have all benn intelligent, and funny...they were people I had a comfortable banter with. Whether it be a serious debate, or something lighthearted.

I would nto want soemone is was serious all the time, or funny all the time. Instead I want someone who is a combination of both, who can see the life is combination of the serious and the absurd. SOmeone who can laugh at themselves and me, yet realizes that not everything in life is a joke.

I want someone with flaws, because flaws make us human, they give us character. They make us unique, they remind us that life is difficult.

I want someone who realizes that love and relationships are hard and require work..there is no Sleepless in Seattle Hollywood ending bullshit were you never fight and you always finish each other sentences and it is all perfect.

At the end of the day, I am always most attracted to geeks, because they have the combination of humour and intelligence...I do however prefer geeks who like to go outdoors and see the sun, sunlight is a good thing.

Gee, I guess I really am gonna have to give you a call.. I match all the qualifications above Baby.. \:D/

Other than looks, I'd say a stable temperment. There is a limitless supply of psycho women out there (and men possibly, but that's not relevent in my case so I"m not talking about them), and a woman who I find attractive who is also calm and easy going and doesn't easily get angry is someone I notice. How they handle disagreement with you is a critical thing. If they just give in and are stepford, that's not good, but neither is someone sarcastic or angry at me. If they can reason and keep their cool and be fun about it, that's a good sign.

Here is something I've noticed in dealing with women: if there is a misunderstanding, some harmless stupid thing that could be interpreted several different ways, some women will automatically assume the worst, and others will tend to assume the best that it's probably nothing. That may seem trivial or odd but I've found it is generally a good sign of someone's temperment and I avoid the ones who are going to give me a hard time every time I do something confusing or absent minded, cause I do that kind of thing a lot.

It's also very important to me that we have a compatible sense of humor. A couple of women I've dated, I like them, but their sense of humor is just so dumb, it's just a relationship killer.

If you want to get into physical stuff, I don't like the bony rail thin model look, but obviously like 99% of people in the world, I'm not into dating obese people either. Someone with some meat on their bones and a good set of hips who is also relatively healthy and fit. And a nice smile sure doesn't hurt.

On a lighter note, any woman who is into Brad Pitt, no thanks. It's normal to be attracted to good looks but if you are into a retarded slab of meat, then probably best you find someone else.

Wow someones being an asshole - and stipuilating or "filling in the blanks" of my statement with their own perceptions then blaming me for problems of society. I wouldn't treat you like that Ripper, so don't speak to me like you've just scraped me off your shoe.

I don't see the need for me to explain my reasons of my post becuase you clearly percieved it in a way where you could tie your own feelings about the shallowness of humanity in general against it whilst at the same time slamming me for some kind of suggestion that only women are shallow which i never actually made.

I did say women were MORE shallow than guys that way [and thats from personal experience] Maybe its just because the guys i hang around with are more mature than the chicks at college ; who always seem to primp and pamper themselves to be more attractive to men, they constantly talk about boys and their one goal in life seems to be to attract the other species - and id find that lifestyle incredibly unfufilling; having a relationship is certainly not on my agenda right now - im too young to enter some "apperances only" relationship like so many other people my age who get together just because they dont like being alone.

I definately feel a stronger connection to my girlpals who don't talk about sex and boys all the time; for obvious reasons; but aside from the fact that it bores me senseless id add that girls who don't need to validate themselves with approval from boys are usually girls you'd like to spend your life with; which is why people obsessed about apperances are sterotyped as people with little depth.

Anyway my "ideal" relationship would go something along the lines of Before Sunset - except Julie Delpy's role would be taken by Jennifer Garner Naked :D

Huge breasts, a nice ass, and some nice legs!

*cough* Umm.. ignore that. :-#

Good looks, a great sense of humor, and intellegence are what attracts me.