So ... I've been thinking a lot these days right ... been going out with the same girl for so long ... even spoken about marriage in depth ..
I was originally thinking of proposing to her this oct but because i do not know where she'll be next year, we both decided its good for us to wait. proposing in our community puts too many social pressures on us from family n all and because if (hopfully) and when we do get engaged, she does not wish it to go on for too long .. else our families will drive us crazy.

I also have a mandate on my head to be creative about my proposal ... so tell me what you guys think of this. I have no idea why i decided to bring it up today but its all inside my head and have no one to share it with.

one of the first few things we ever did together was go to this ceramic place together where they let you paint one peice of item (mug, bowl or whatever) and then they put it in the oven and stuff so the paint becomes thick and then its a proper dish designed by you. I figured what i would do is find the place we went to all by myself, go there, paint a bowl with the words "will you marry me" at the bottom with a ring lying in there, pack it up and give it to her as a casual present on a fun night out.

I feel sort of scared about talking to my friends or family about these things .. its uncomfortable giving tem too much info soemtimes and always the risk of her finding out how i want to propose. yet i still need critiquing on the idea. I know its months away but i'm sort of bored and you guys are always helpful in this department without me having to speak about stuff i need to with someone in person : )

Go for it bABA. But only if you're ready, you're kinda young so this seems surprising. I don't know.



Ghost?



Thats ok bABA, anonymity of the net can help sometimes. Maybe take her to a nice weekend when she comes back to visit? Away from everything, so you two can relax and talk about it seriously. Go to Quebec City in the early summer? That way, and I don't mean this to sound rude, if she has hesitations you have the whole weekend to consider options, talk personally and in privacy, and not feel rushed by outside influence.

Ghost?

Naah ... i always planned on marrying young .. cause i never wanted to be old when i had my first kid ... but anyhoo, all i need is for her or me to have a stable job .. cause everything else is pretty much set. and you're right. there is no way at all that both us are even going to get into an engagement till we're both ready for it ... i was mainly interested in if the time comes, will my lack of creativity shine through : ).

Your idea isn't bad baba, not bad at all, but it isn't memerable either.

When you propose it is your job to make it the best night of her life up till then. I don't know if you ever suprise her, and take her places without telling her wher your going. If you don't ... start. It will make it much easier to pull off an amazing night.

bABA, I doubt it. You're pretty creative, and that's why you've got a whole bunch of zany people to throw ideas at you. I think the pottery thing sounds very nice actually, but I was a potter for four years, so that might just be me.

I can tell you the cheesiest moment (almost cried) was the year before I ran Boston Marathon (this is what made me run it actually). I read in the paper about this pone female runner, and it was her first Boston Marathon (she was a local who qualified from the pool, not from a time). Anyways, her fiance decided he wanted to propose to her, and told her entire family, and they made this huge banner "Will you marry me ******?" They stood ontop of heartbreak hill (the famous marathon killer about 20 miles into the race, notorious for deciding who wins or looses the event because its so tough) and when she fought her way up to the peak they all held up the banner and he got down on one knee and held out the ring. She stopped at the top of heartbreak hill and said yes, kissed him, put the ring on, and continued on to finsih the race with the engagement band on.

Seriously, I read that in the paper and its what made me run that marathon the following year. Soooooooo cheesy but lovely.

making it the best night also implies that she'll sort of start figuring things out.

it also implies how absolutely terrible i am at my relationship that my gf can quickly realize somethings up. : )

maybe i'll DO something memorable. hmm .. maybe let HER make the entire plan and i'll just execute it. She'll never suspect it.

dhen dhen dhen dheeeen.!!!

I am telling you baba ... just do it now. Next time you go out. Blatently lie to her about where your going, be all fishy, make it a fun night out, but make it a big suprise, don't let her know. Do it every so often and then on the night when something is REALLY up she won't have any idea .... unless of course she reads this message board.

Speaking of which ... does she?

nope .. she never does.

haha dolce .. thats hilarious. people do such cheesy things sometimes, its not even funny ... hell, i was once dragged to go watch little black book. turned out to be fun at the end but still .. come on .. LITTLE BLACK BOOK!! BRITANY MURPHY!!

](*,) Let her know. Seriously, you don't want these thing to feel like they are coming out of the blue. If you plan it all nice she'll have suspicions, but she'll think its touching, go along with it, and be at least a little ready for the question. I don't know about you guys but if someone was about to propose to me, I'd want a little forwarning. I wouldn't want to botch my end (yes or no) if they're putting in the effort. Seriously, planning a nice trip lets her know you care alot about the event, and it gives her a chance to think about it before it happens. But yes, do something uber cheesy. There is just no other way to do these things. (I think, but I actually have no clue)

hmm. I am afraid to advise because if you do what I say and I"m wrong, I'll feel guilty -- for a few minutes anyway.

But here goes. She is in another country right? Talking to other guys? Interacting with other guys? You see enough in her to like her so it wouldn't be surprising if other guys do too, right? I'm not talking about trust, or betrayal. I"m talking about there are legitimately interesting guys out there, more handsome or intelligent than either you or me, lol, and women tend to notice this.

I personally think you are too young for marriage - and too naive but I don't mean that in a mean way, it's nice. Innocent I guess. But if she is The One, then snap her up before someone else does.

If you want to give her forwarning like Dolce suggested, why not introduce her to this forum?

archie ... i dont believe in the 'one' concept. never did, never will, even if there is a 'one' and she walks by me : )

I know .. i know .. i'm 24. But in many ways, i'm already too old. I wont be marrying before 26 in any case. the only variable in our entire relationship right now (excluding work which is only a variable on WHEN we can tie the knot) is her location : ). But the beign itnerested in other people .... i doubt that but even more so, i'm always of the nature that if it happens, it happens. thats why theres no proposition in place unless i know we're in the same place. the distance is the only thing that worries me, if even for different reasons.

What about financial aspects? Because you know how some women are, when they are 20 its all "Oh I want to be an urban, independent modern woman!" and 5 years later they want to have kids and bake cakes.

Not like you need to be able to support her now, but it might become an issue 10 years from now and you hopefully would have longterm prospects.

I'm glad to hear you don't believe in The One stuff, I don't either, but a lot do apparently.

my goal has always been. no marriage till one of us can completely support the other. and thats where we make the decision and stick to it. no reliance on both people bringing in the money. At this point, i'm doing everything i can so i can take that responsibility off her even though i know theres no way in hell she'll let me support her right nwo : )

Almost a year before I proposed to Chris, I flew her out to Paris for Xmas. I think everyone was expecting me to ask her then. It was great.

While we were at the Effiel Tower, I knew she was waiting for me to ask. When we got off the elevator and headed back towards Champs Elysees, she looked stunned.

So about a year later, we saw the Blue Man Group on New Years' Eve. We were in the front row and the countdown had begun and BMG were shooting confetti and paint everwhere. So at the stroke of midnight right before I went in for the kiss, I pulled her into the aisle, got down on bended knee, and asked her to marry me. The entire theater went nuts.

So yeah, Paris was too cheesy for a madman like me.

atta boy. paris might be memorable but cliche!!

Loyal that is EXACTLY what I am talking about.

Leave the girl guessing, when life gets to routine and predictable it gets boring. DONT BE BORING!