To paraphrase Marshall McLuhan: "the exploitation is the message".

Turning Piranha 3D into some sort of equality based love slaughter misses the mark by 180^∘ - - it makes about as much sense as criticizing Eat, Pray, Love because there's no serial killer in it.

I really enjoyed this reference in another review for this movie that I recently read:


This is straight old school homage, kiddies - - straight old school homage.

Filled with copious amounts of gore and T&A, this over-the-top remake of the 1978 B-movie schlockfest of the same name (minus the 3D) is an enormous amount of fun from beginning to end. Filmmaker Alexandre Aja (High Tension, The Hills Have Eyes 06’) knows exactly the kind of movie this is and delivers everything one would expect/hope for in a movie called “Piranha 3D” with his tongue-in-cheek approach. You can almost feel him winking at the audience throughout. For those who enjoy and understand this type of movie and what it’s going for you’re pretty much guaranteed a good time. There’s plenty of laughs and cheap thrills to be had. “Piranha 3D” is one of the best and bloodiest treats this sub-genre has seen in quite some time. Horror fans get out and support this one in theaters. Sequel please!

On a side-note, it was so nice to see Elisabeth Shue (Leaving Las Vegas) back on the big screen again. She’s a very underrated actress in need of a comeback.

8/10 (A-)

It's brilliant.

I think this was kind of the point of the film. You're supposed to think badly of them to appreciate the awful comeuppance that befalls them.

And this extends to your other comments about it being exploitative and disrespectful towards boobies. Those who exploit and go along with the exploitation are the ones who face the worst demise in the end.

That's kind of the point of this kind of horror film.

B

Really great and over the top.

I thought it was pretty boring throughout. Entirely predictable, and I wasn't even sitting there trying to figure "what happens next?!". It felt like it went through the creature feature playbook, beat by yawn-inducing beat, only with a lot more naked ladies and gore--BUT IN 3D!!!

All the characters were entirely uninteresting and generally meh. Nobody made much of any sense in their actions to the point that I really lost all interest, especially once things were obviously wrong. I mean, at least usually in crappy horror movies most of the people don't exactly know what's going on until it's too late but here they almost seemed like were trying hard to be full-blown incompetent. Oh, and some of those people sure could hold their breath for a long while (especially those naked ladies swimming).

C or C- minus is my initial thought.

8/10 -> B

It's not last year's insanely fun and great Drag Me to Hell, but it has it's own charms. This movie really surprised me.

I feel a great sadness for Malcolm after reading this review.



First off, I certainly understand that some people don't enjoy genre horror movies - - matter of fact: I'm usually #1 in that club - - and then the subset of people who "get" comedy-horror movie seems even tinier. So I can't help but think that Malcolm missed the point of Piranha 3D. It probably didn't help that he saw it late in it's run... this is not the sort of movie you want to see sitting alone in an empty dollar theatre matinee. Nope, this is a party movie! Optimal time to see this is at one of the opening weekend late night screenings with an audience hyped up & tuned in to the humor of this kind of B-movie schlockfest. It's certainly not a film that stands up to cold detailed factual analysis, nor was it ever intended to be.




Oh my.





Edit: OMG - - it keeps getting more tragic! Read this quote from Malcolm's following post:

These are the words of a man who sits alone in a cold dark basement watching comedy movies on a 12" b&w screen deriding his so-called friends for going out to the theatre together and watching those same movies and sharing a laugh. He's the guy who yells "Sit Down!" at a concert when people are dancing and singing along with the lyrics when encouraged by their favorite band on stage. The grump refusing to participate in a standing ovation after a great play. For someone to dismiss the very real communal energy that is generated by a group of people mutually appreciating a work of art is the sign of a bitter forsaken hermit. Sure, you're welcome to watch your comedy DVD's alone and parse the laughs on your scribbled notepad, but I will choose the joy of a crowded theatre any day, though I'll shed a tear for Malcolm's lonely plight...

I love horror movies of all kinds, it's a favorite (perhaps THE favorite) genre of mine, so you kind of don't know what you're talking about in that respect. And the "oh, you didn't get it" angle is just as played out as the movie itself

As I said, titties and gore IN 3D!!!! isn't enough to make a movie entertaining. Maybe if there had been a single ounce of energy put into the script there would have been one or two genuine surprises or unexpected moments, but there was nothing at all. It was all ridiculously predictable and I am not the kind of person to try and predict what's coming next in movies--I hate that, it takes the fun out of things. This felt as though the writers simply printed out a "What to do in your creature feature" pamphlet and figured they'd just toss in some recognizable faces and no further effort was needed.

There's no reason this couldn't have been loaded with 3D breasts and gore but at least thrown in some originality for the story or even just a couple of the characters. This was all stock, through and through. Oh, and any movie that requires group-think to be able to enjoy it is a failure in my eyes.

In retrospect, I think that this was just the worst date movie ever made.... And I need to see this in a different context where I can be more gleefully misanthropic towards the gore and soft-core skin.

It's just a bad result for the typical put together of these kinds of films. Beach scenes + boobs + shit load of killing. Too bad it really wasn't done well. 1/2*

You went with someone on a date and you watched Piranha 3D?!!

Did you all least get down her pants for as generous as you were in taking her to this fine film???

Meh, I was hoping for a Machete opening scene throughout but it was quite drab.

The kills are really badly done. Sure it would take a lot of choreography to actually get piranhas attacking random body parts and people dying correctly, but since that's the only point of the movie, they should have spent more work on it.

Good thing it flopped. Hell, I've never been so glad so many movies disappointed lately (Due Date, Faster, Tron Legacy, Skyline)

It's still one of the most hilarious and fun times I had in theater for a while now.


Well, it's getting a sequel so it was obviously profitable enough... Also Faster and Skyline never seemed like they could be big and they didn't really have a pedigree to cling onto. CBS Films still has to launch a big movie and Skyline is a hard sell as it is...

For clarification, we had been dating for about nine months. We broke up shortly after watching Piranha 3D, but Piranha was just another straw on a dying camel's back.

And now I want to re-watch Piranha 3D with a bunch of mates and a case of beer.

This is so much fun and the excessive nude works very well with the story here even though I have never been in that kind of environment myself so I cannot relate

The world building and side stories are done very well here and everyone gets a good closure in the end aside from maybe the Piranha themselves. It was fun and sad to see Adam Scott's head chopped off in the end.