Jon Lyrik provided me with this hilarious list


TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM

You have two cows.You sell one and buy a bull.Your herd multiplies,
and the economy grows.You sell the herd and retire on the income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.You sell one, and force the other to produce the
milk of four cows.You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows.You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have two cows. You re-design them so they are one-tenth the size
of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create
irritating cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them world-wide at a
fantastic profit.

A GERMAN CORPORATION

You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years,
eat once a month, and milk themselves.

ENGLISH CORPORATION

You have two cows. Both are mad.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count
them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you
have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION

You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for
storing them.

A HINDU CORPORATION

You have two cows. You worship them.

CHINESE CORPORATION

You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full
employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who
reported
the numbers.

A WELSH CORPORATION

You have two cows. The younger one is rather attractive

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION

Western suburbs style. You have 2 stolen bulls but think they are
cows You die the first time you try and milk them.

AN IRISH CORPORATION

Who cares, The EU Really owns them now and the pub is still serving

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION

You have two cows. You don't know what they are used for as they
aren't sheep You shag them anyway.

Too funny

A Canadian Corporation:
The Americans have 2 cows and place on cow in Canada. You milk the cow and they get all the money

Or...

A Canadian Corporation:

You had two cows; the French Speaking one had a referendum and left.

A PORTUGUESE CORPORATION:

You had 2 cows. You are very lazy and traded them in for Codfish and and ate them. You now have no financial resources, you keep blaming your government for all your problems. You have no money, yet 1 out of 3 people own a BMW.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION

You had 2 cows. Peter Jackson ate them.

A FUNDAMENTALIST ISLAMIC CORPORATION

You had two cows. One was stoned to death because she allowed an unknown man to milk her, and the other tripped over her burka and died.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows. They are not profitable as you can only milk silicon.

A DOTCOM ERA CORPORATION

You don't have cows. You don't have milk. You don't have any idea what a cow is, or how to use one to get the milk. Your company is called eCow.com, and you sell it for 200 million dollars.

A UKRAINIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows. One refuses to speak Ukrainian, and the other only produces orange milk.

A SOUTH AFRICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows. They die of racial confusion.

A COMMUNIST CORPORATION

You have two cows???? Come and speak with the gentleman in the grey suit, comrade.

AN INDONESIAN CORPORATION

You had 2 cows.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION

You had two cows. You forgot to wash your hands after voting. Your cows died of ink poisoning.

=D> =D> :grin: :grin:

AMERICAN CORPORATION

You support a coup by cows in another country and import all your milk.

LOLOL :mrgreen:

BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. To register them, you fill in 17 forms in triplicate and don't have time to milk them.

BUREAUCRACY -- EUROPEAN UNION: You have two cows. The EU loses one cow, milks the other and then spills the milk.

BUREAUCRACY -- UNITED STATES: You have two cows. The government takes both, loses one while moving it to a farm in Puerto Rico and forgets to milk the other.

CANADIANISM: You have two cows. The bank takes both of them, shoots one, throws away the milk and you shoot yourself.

CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

ARISTOCRATISM: You have two cows. You sell both and buy one really big cow - with a pedigree.

CONSERVATIVISM: You have two cows. You freeze the milk and embalm the cows.

CONSERVATIVISM: You have two cows. You lock them up, and charge people to look at them.

COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both of them and gives you part of the milk.

CAPITALISM -- HONG KONG You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt / equity swap with associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping five cows. The milk rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows' milk back to the listed company. The annual report says that the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you kill the two cows because the feng shui is bad.

DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. A vote is held, and the cows win.

DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. They outvote you 2-1 to ban all meat and dairy products. You go bankrupt.

DEMOCRACY -- AMERICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk and then blame Japan while border guards beat up Mexicans sneaking into the country. People are outraged for a week or so and then go back to televised sports where there's no violence.

LOL :Grins: