I ask that when updating, people give the average grade too, because to me and i know alot of other people - the average grade is more important. Especially on a site like Rottentomatoes which includes every tom dick and harry.

I should say that Alone in the Dark is getting worse reviews at this early stage than any movie ive ever seen on rottentomatoes. All but 1 review gives it the equivelent of 0/10, and that is a 1.25/10. Even though i usually dont take note of critics opinions, the unfeasably bad marketing campaign combined with truly horrifyingly bad reviews makes me really ponder why im still never going to see this movie. Considering ive already seen Gigli and Catwoman....

HIDE AND SEEK [10 reviews]
Avg Rating: 42% ROTTEN
Cream of the Crop: 0% ROTTEN
Tomato Meter: 10% ROTTEN

ALONE IN THE DARK [5 reviews]
Avg Rating: 23% ROTTEN
[0/5, 0/4, 0,4, F, 0.5/4]
Cream of the Crop: NO REVIEWS
TomatoMeter: 0% ROTTEN

Some Review Quotes

HIDE AND SEEK

"Hide and Seek rises above its derivative subject matter because of its stellar cast. It’s a treat to see Robert De Niro take on a serious role in a spooky movie "

On the twist at the end thats causing hype "without it, Hide and Seek is a failure, with it, it’s sort of scary and basically tolerable"

"De Niro is at his least convincing"

"Hide and Seek, despite early signs of higher goals, is a factory-standard box of shocks (it includes a creepy music box, a screaming teakettle, a doomed pet kitty), "

"Up until it loses its momentum, the movie is a taut and tense suspense-thriller with some truly hair-raising, eerie elements."

"Hide and Seek is a mediocre thriller with a stellar cast."

"Not Great, But fairly good"

"The illustrious Robert De Niro should be much better versed in the timeless rules of horror films:
1. Never move to the country.
2. Never seek out the source of a mysterious sound.
3. Never underestimate the power of a troubled child’s imagination.
4. RUN when the lights go out.
Complying with these simple steps would spare critics, paying audience members and films’ characters a lot of unnecessary grief, anxiety and cash."

"De Niro is miscast "

"an interminable rip-off of The Sixth Sense. De Niro is slumming and he knows it."

" Fanning gives a chilling performance but then she’s always the best thing in her bad movies."
"The clichés flow like tree sap"

"The predictability of the story is overcome somewhat by the quality of the cast. "

ALONE IN THE DARK

"Alone in the Dark," [IS] a collection of howlingly bad dialogue and every half-assed horror/sci-fi movie cliche imaginable"

"Choice examples of dramatic dialogue include "Some doors are meant to stay closed" and, upon arrival in an underground cavern made of skulls, "I don't think we're supposed to be down here."

"Movies this unthinkably bad, so purely inept on every level—writing, directing, acting, technically—arrive on a rarer basis than viewers might believe, and "Alone in the Dark" is prime prey for a "Mystery Science Theater 3000" roasting."

On Tara Reids acting "acting lessons that she may have taken can’t possibly have cost more than $1.98 and even at that price it would have been a rip-off."

On Tara Reids running "When she runs in terror from the monsters, the pout becomes just a scooch poutier, and the movement is more of a stiff-kneed shuffle. Perhaps the tight pants hindered her"

On Tara Reid as a scientist "In early scenes, Reid's idea of being intellectual is to walk around with a pen and clipboard in hand, scribbling nonsense down even when she is holding a normal conversation and isn't actually working on anything."

On Everyone Else. Including Tara Reid "Every actor, it should be noted, appear as if they haven't even learned their lines, stumbling and hesitating over basic word exchanges."

"with a plot that makes slightly less sense than thinking that Tara Reid can actually perform a dramatic role as a scientist beyond pouting in what I’m guessing is supposed to be a seductive fashion and wearing low-slung jeans"

"Uwe Boll has taken a very bad script and made it even worse. As he splays his artistic vision across the screen, it’s exactly like listening to an energetic singer who believes that he has perfect pitch but is tragically mistaken"

Alone in the Dark


Tara Reid, in the performance that critics are......not being very nice about.


Apparently a scientist can weild a gun with great efficency. Maybe she wants to brush fossils with it?


Based on a 5 year old playstation game. Featuring graphics from a 5 year old playstation game.

Alone in the Dark


If Gollum were a girl....


Look mom! No pupils!


If no, head to your local specsavers


Wonder when the next Fockers film will save my career again...


Well...atleast this time its not a wall of water your in Famke. No forcefield to save your ass THIS time.

Sadly, although early days, theyre not getting good ratings, but i think they look fantastic, Tara Reid looks HOT!!!

Alone in the Dark [8 Reviews]
AVG RATING [1.6/10]
CREAM OF THE CROP: 0% ROTTEN
TOMATOMETER: 13% ROTTEN

Hide and Seek [19 reviews]
AVG RATING [4.6/10]
CREAM OF THE CROP: 33% ROTTEN
TOMATOMETER: 26% ROTTEN

You mean 0% Fresh? Lol. Cuz 0% Rotten would be magnificent

Well Alone in the Dark is at 13% right now. Thats better than what Elektra got :wink:

I thought 'Alone in the Dark' would be rated high

Hide and Seek is ahead of White Noise at the moment...

Algren, did you HONESTLY think that Alone In The Dark would get good reviews...? EVER?
Its got the worst reviews in a very very long time - Worse than Gigli & Far worse than Catwoman and Elektra

ALONE IN THE DARK [32 Reviews]
AVG RATING : 1.5/10 <gigli 2.8, Catwoman 3.1, Elektra 3.6>
COTC: 0% SPLAT
ROTTENTOMATOES : 3% SPLAT

HIDE AND SEEK [46 Reviews]
AVG RATING: 4.6/10
COTC: 25% SPLAT
ROTTENTOMATOES: 26% SPLAT


More ALONE IN THE DARK quotes [WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY GOING TO USE IN THE ADS?]

"You will desperately need, in my estimation, the following items for survival [of the movie]
- One or more friends with barbed wit and a proclivity for awful genre tripe
- Hats and/or sunglasses to disguise identity
- A considerable amount of alcohol
- Kleenex to wipe away tears of laughter
- The gene blocking the impulse of shame
"

"The picture is terrible beyond belief...The plot is idiotic, the dialogue cliche-ridden and inane, the special effects cheeseball, the acting dreadful down the line M the direction sloppy, and the technical work several grades beneath mediocre ."

"Worst Film of 2005....riotously appalling...The film is a masterwork of awfulness, a literal and veritable bad movie blueprint"

"To call Alone in the Dark a failure is an insult to failures everywhere. The totality of its incompetence has rarely been exceeded, even by the most fumbling and desperate filmmakers. It's a ruptured appendix of a movie, spewing toxic chemicals upon everything it touches. The other practitioners of cinematic drivel can rest a little easier now; they can walk in the daylight with their heads held high, a smile on their lips and a song in their heart. "It's okay," they'll tell themselves. "I didn't make Alone in the Dark."

"while the cast hopefully got paid for it, it won't be easy to face their friends and loved ones after this is over"

"For a critic, films of this ilk actually come as a blessing in disguise. They set everything else in context, reminding those of us who complain about bad movies what "bad" truly means. The next film you see can't help but look better in comparison, no matter its flaws or foibles. That may be Alone in the Dark's sole useful purpose: it cleanses the cinematic palate, flushing out all previous notions of incompetence and resetting the bar at a universally recognized nadir. It's important to do that every once in a while, though the process of sitting through such a nadir is unpleasant in the extreme."

Damnit, if they had released this Before ELEKTRA critics could have given Elektra an A+