I'm with Baba on this, mostly. I was maybe four times growing up. My punishments were always something like "No (insert favorite activity here) for a week" or something. Soemtimes I would even have a choice at my punishment (and studies have proven letting kids choose is better then forcing something on them) so that helped me too. But I work with kids, and I gotta tell you....some of them could use it. The punishment, I mean.

I can only hope that if/when I have children, I try and punish them much more passively then spanking, but I know there are going to be times when I will, because kids who have TOO much freedom and not enough respect for authority will not be children I raise.

A punishment my friend uses for her kids (she's about 35....two toddlers and a new baby about two months old) is vinegar. If they say or do something wrong, they use the 'soap technique' except vinegar instead of soap. Just a little bit on a spoon, or on her finger, and inside the mouth it goes. Shuts 'em up right away...

P.S. Curtains are fun!!!

Anyone would understand why I'm a curtain user.



@Maverikk: Just because you dont hit someone doesn't mean there can't be consequences for their actions. There are millions of things that you can do/take away as a form of discipline that don't involve violence.

Today's youth is disrespectful because of the lack of physical displine. Mmm, yeah, there's way too many disrespectful people out there, young....but pleeeeease, the "older" crowd is just as bad, often worse, so I see no difference. Maybe a little wiser and more mature, but, umm...hello you would hope age would do that to you. It's called growing up. Hopefully everyone gets a chance to go through it?


And yes I'm part of that young crowd, I know I don't know everything and have yet many things to learn in life, but don't hold your breath if you're expecting me to change my mind on this :wink:

P.S. Fear is a completely different thing from respect, and knowing right from wrong, etc.

well, i'm sort of against most methods that rely on punishment that are not coupled up with an understanding into why something is wrong to begin with .... i'd rather have kids learn than not to do something out of fear ... fear only stops people from doing things without an understanding of why and as a kid, i think thats just an injustice .. its better to to teach early than have kids find out later in that age ... i said my dad never ever touched me but my parents didn't alwyas explain things ... it took me too long sometimes to understand something..

and yes, what I'm saying is much much easier said than done.

Well yes. And I agree with you and Rod. The fact of the matter is, if someone has been misbehaving, there are many ways to address the situation, and I'm a firm believer in the punishment fitting the crime. Otherwise, what is the association? If a kid does poorly in school, their study habits etc need to be addressed, not their bottoms. I just don't like the idea of all actions being repremanded with physical force, it teaches people to misdirect their energies. Lets say you grow older and don't like rights abuse in another country, so you think the best punishment is physical (bombing them), rather than dealing with the rights abuse directly. Someone is saying demeaning things in a bar, so hitting them does nothing to address the appropriation of their language and stereotypes. The only times a kid should get smacked is if they did some hitting themselves first. I dunno, a temper tantrum over a candy bar in the store should lead to "no candy bars for two weeks," and that will help them realize the situation more. If a kid is just operating out of fear of being spanked all the time, it doesn't necessarily help them develop a sense of decision, just a sense of fear. That's why alot of people stay with domestic abusive partners, because of fear of leaving. Where did that fear come from? Maybe their parents hand always hovered a foot behind and "don't" was accompanied with a hit? Well then what happens when a partner says "don't" leave and then hits you?

Even if spanking works in the immediate, it could have very far reaching unanticipate affects having to do with the associations people make about when violence is or isn't an acceptable action. I just think there are other forms of discipline, and just because I don't think a spanking tool or a belt is a bright idea, doesn't mean that I think kids should run wild.

I'm also glad school teachers can't hit their kids. We had a very aggressive teacher in middle school that got in trouble for throwing a mug at a kid, and some other stuff, and that's not her job. Sorry, send the kid to the principle and let the parents deal with it. Teachers may love kids in general, but they don't have a specific connection with anyone student and don't know what's going on. They also may be quicker to hurt because they don't have the same connection a kid and his parents do. But seriously, even those arguements are flimsy. If you believe hitting or spanking or whipping a kid is a proper form of discipline, than I guess I could see why teachers should be allowed to do it too, but since I don't believe its right at any time, then no, teachers shouldn't have that power.

haha! Dolce said "Bottom"

kinky ...

There is nothing wrong with spanking your kid if they do something really wrong.Thats the way we are brought up in latin america,i was one bad kid when i was little and now that im grown up i aprreciate my parents for whooping my butt when i did bad things.I never feared my parents.

I do believe that there are always exceptions to the rule ...

but even in your statement, i have issues with one thing that even I went through ....

Now That I'm Grown up ...

And really .. we all had to wait this long to understand and to appreciate why it was that we were punished for things from time to time .. its almost an implication that before, you (and I) did not appreciate what our parents did ... it sort of hurts me cause in many ways, i felt bad for some of the things i've said to my parents as I've grown up ... no doubt they had the best intentions in mind but i made them suffer because i stopped doing things out of not wanting to get into trouble, not because i actually understood and learnt something ... and in the process, said stuff or did stuff that could have been avoided.

Like I said, its easier said than done (what I'm suggesting) and i am completely aware of it ... I'm not against punishment as such (physical punishment yes though) but more than anything, I've had issues with punishments coupled with "We know whats best for you" or "when you grow up, you'll understand" ... or coupled with no words at all .... and sadly, such is the norm that I see ..