Montana PI's report on Mr X:

Name: Mr X

Profile: X is a well known poster at KJ that has been around since the very early days. He is commonly referred to as the Rodney Dangerfield of KJ, in which his self-depricating style leads to a joke about him getting a lack of respect. But in reality Mr X is well liked guy who is genuinely funny and appears to be very easy to get along with.

KJ History: Mr X has over 18,000 posts. He can be found spending most of his time in the Water Cooler or TV section.

Compatibility potential: While digging up information on Mr X, I discovered that he and Tony did partner up years ago at another site (BOM) where both were moderators. The duo was widely regarded as the sexiest, most bad assed modding team to ever hit the internet. So, they do have a proven track record. I can find some similarities in movie tastes, with X listing movies such as Clerks, Office Space, Groundhog Day, and Lost in Translation among his favorite of all time (all movies Tony approves of). On the downside, Mr X does not appear to be a gamer at all, does like wrestling, and lists LOTR as his all time favorite (as mentioned before, Tony has a phobia of hobbits). When examining the specifics, there is not a lot of common interests to be found.

Criminal history: Running a check shows one incident that got him kicked off another site that has long since been expunged from his record and does not appear to warrant any further investigation or consideration.

Potential pitfalls: As outlined above, I see compatibility issues.

Bottom line: I see definite compatibility issues with a Tony and X duo. However, they do share a similar sense of humor and attitude, and do have a past track record. So, I think it would be worth further consideration.

Montana PI's report on Joe:

Name: Joe

KJ history: Joe joined KJ in the middle of 2005, but has already racked up nearly 10,000 posts. He can often be found discussing movies in Cinemania or the Box Office forum. On some occassions, Joe can display a brash and abrasive style that gets him into fights with other members. As a result, he is often entertaining, but has collected a few foes along the way.

Compatibility potential: I can find few examples of Joe and Tony's paths crossing at KJ, and they are often at different corners of KJ, as there interests seem to be polar opposites. I also would say that they have very different personas at KJ. I do not see much, if any, compatibility potential.

Potential pitfalls: I see Joe as having more of a lone wolf style. A pairing would likely drag Tony's name down when Joe gets into the occassional fight with another member, and it would also drag Joe down as he would no longer have that lone wolf vibe that makes him so entertaining.

Bottom line: I see this pairing as a disastor simply because it would not fit either's style and there is very little compatibility. Then again, it may be so crazy of a pairing, so odd, and so original that it could somehow work in the end. It could be like the odd couple all over again.

There's still hope!

omg, the creator of this thread is so "SEEKING ATTENTION". I love it. I want in.

I NEED TO BE YOUR PARTNER!!!

Montana PI's report on Lorry Hal (AKA: Wind Walker)

Name: Lorry Hal (previously Wind Walker)

Profile: Hal claims to be a 17 year old student, but between the name changes and elusive behavior, this one is a slippery little devil that is hard to peg down. He's been known as hunch2002, Wind Walker, and now Lorry Hal all in under 5 months. Studying Lorry's posts, I find a lot of 1 sentence (or less) responses which do not allow for much of a glimpse into their personality. But what I can find does seem to suggest a light and easy going person.

KJ History: Lorry is a newcomer to the KJ scene, and thus is a relative unknown commodity. Spends a lot of his time in the awards forums, but will also creep into the gaming corner of the forum and makes a few appearances into the Water Cooler.

Compatibility potential: As judged by his comments and new persona, it is obvious that Lorry has a sense of humor and keeps things light. Seems to be well liked and would not bring the good TonyMontana name down.

Possible pitfalls: Spends a lot of time in the uppity awards forum, and lists the LOTR as one of his favorites (as mentioned multiple times above, Tony has a fear of hobbits). While I can't peg down any specific criminal history here, as an expertly trained Private Investigator I'm always leary of a person with multiple aliases. That's a major red flag and definitely suggests a history of smoking crack in between knocking over convenience stores.

Bottom line: Lorry Hal seems to be a nice enough person with a good sense of humor. However, a large concern would be that this is supposed to be a high powered duo that will make all other duos irrelevant, and I'm not sure that Lorry Hal has the star power to do this yet. Maybe in a couple years, but not today. Still, Lorry is a blank sheet with very little baggage, so that's an angle to be considered.

I guess no one noticed Lorry Hal-L'óreal hence my avatar and rank.

You know, Tony, Montana PI's very slow pace does not reflect well on you. His pay should be cut in half.

Give him a break.
Hes a dog and thats a lot of typing.

Montana PI’s report on jujubee:

Name: jujubee

Profile: When jujubee walked into my office to drop off her application to be Tony’s partner, it was clear she was not the typical classy Dame that was in need of my services. She was a sassy broad who was already threatening a sexual harassment lawsuit before she handed over her resume. It was clear that she had spunk. I hate spunk.

KJ History: jujubee has just under 2 years at KJ and has pounded out over 4,200 posts in that time. She divides her time up well between the movie forums, water cooler, and is very active in the gaming forum. Her posts also display her wide range of diversity… she appears to be intelligent and able to enter into a serious debate, but also can kick back with the boys in the gaming forum and crack a few jokes.

Compatibility potential: For starters, she is an active Xbox 360 player. Her movie tastes tend to run a little toward the romantic and girly side of the spectrum… like My Fair Lady… a 4 1/2 hour movie that bored the pants off Tony.

Possible pitfalls: Like most women, she could be moody and uncontrollable… she may be prone to fighting against Tony as opposed to fighting with him.

Bottom line: jujubee has a good sense of humor and an attitude - she definitely won’t take any crap and could hold her own when the situation would dictate. The compatibility potential is decent, but her spunkiness could lead to many problems.

Montana PI’s report on Munkatouille

Name: Munkatouille

Profile: Munkatouille - AKA: Chip, ChipMunky, HotGerman2k - and Tony go way back to the early BOM days in which Chippy joined Tony's campaign team during many successful poster of the month awards. However, Chip has gone through a recent transformation… upon studying his posts he has appeared to go from lovable, easy going funny guy in the early days to a surly poster that frequently likes to pick a fight – but he seems to do so with a wink in his eye, suggesting that sense of humor is still alive and kicking.

KJ History: The Munkster has banged out over 12,000 posts on KJ and has been a member since the word “go”. He is always entertaining, but it does appear his new persona is not necessarily making new friends along the way.

Compatibility potential: HotGermanMunky and Tony are at opposite ends of the gaming spectrum, but he is a gamer, and Tony approves of that. Their previous teaming was met with big success and therefore they have a proven track record. Chipatouille does still possess a good sense of humor.

Possible pitfalls: ChipMunky has some enemies and this could have some ramifications for Tony. Similar to Joe, he seems to be more of a lone wolf type of poster – somebody that thrives off of going their own way. I do not see the current Munkatouille persona being part of a duo, unless he teams with Joe.

Bottom line: Despite the previous track record, and Chip’s ability to hold his own, I don’t see this as a viable partnership. There is some compatibility, but Chip’s personality does not lend itself to being part of a duo, and there may be some baggage that could bring down Tony as a result. The only possible benefit would be that it would be an edgy choice that would go against the grain. Picking Chip would be like watching a gritty Indie flick instead of a slick big budget Hollywood sequel.

I need a starting salary of $50/hr to even consider.

I regret not applying, with my style and Tony's police connections we could be unstoppable.

I did leave the "now hiring" sign up, but the deadline for applications is long up, as stated in post #1.

And do I sense some cracks in the Rainbow Sisterz duo already? By the time this super duo is formed, we may only have Z&T left!

And, EPL, you've been here for years, are a mod, are an active member, but still, nobody knows who you are... so, you'd do me no good anyhow. You're the invisible man.

The dates are clearly posted in the first post, and Montana PI is on track to complete his investigations before the deadline.

The combination of the last two "KJ posters of the year" would have been a deadly combination.

does the montana ranch plan cover dental and medical?

Yes. All procedures are covered, but you do not have a choice in doctor.

I am your doctor and dentist.

but will Kate be my nurse?

Do you have gentle hands?

Montana PI's report on loyalfromlondon:

Name: loyalfromlondon

Profile: He's the Madonna of KJ (Madonna in her heyday, of course). He's slept with everyone, there's nothing you don't know about him, he's very entertaining, everybody loves him, and some try to be like him, but nobody succeeds.

KJ History: They don't come any bigger... 24,000+ posts, part site owner and admin.

Compatibility potential: Tony and loyal go together like peanut butter and jelly, with Tony being the peanut butter. They go way, way back to the early BOM days and have teamed up before for various events, usually with tremendous results. They share a similar style and sense of humor, with Tony always being just one step ahead of loyal.

Possible pitfalls: Loyal can become unbalanced and unpredictable at times. There are stretches when he's gone from KJ while he is trotting around the globe or hugging a polar bear in the Antarctic. His risky behavior means he could die at any moment. By my calculations Tony and a dead loyal would not make the greatest duo. Also, he *is* the Awards forum, a forum despised by Tony for being full of uppity high class snobs. He hasn't touched a video game machine since an Atari 2600, except for the time he made the mistake of getting a nephew a PS3 because he didn't know any better. As for the criminal history... it broke my printer trying to print it all out.

Bottom line: A Tony and Loyal duo would have massive starpower, and they have a successful history of being BFF. However, that is a long laundry list of potential pitfalls to consider...

One is displeased by his lack of reported stance so far.

No, but you do get Montana PI, and he'll dress up in whatever costume you desire.


You'll be happy to know that my hands are gentle and Montana PI does have some very soft paws. However, it should be noted that we don't touch our patients as we don't want your sick cooties. We use whatever tools we can find out of my toolbox... for example, I use a standard Black and Decker drill for dental work and there is no novocaine used.

Damn those paws and a lack of opposable thumbs!