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 KJ User's Bottom 50 Films: DIB2 
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Where will you be?

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torrino wrote:
Libs wrote:
Zingaling wrote:

Half Past Dead rocked! =;


*dies laughing*

Zingy's forum life is a lot easier without a certain someone criticizing his taste. ;)

But, anyways, I had the grand privelege of seeing this masterwork on the big screen. There's nothing, NOTHING in this world like Ja Rule stretched out to 30 feet and hearing his wannabe tough voice on loud speakers.


Haha, he was actually the only even semi-decent performance in the movie... or maybe it was just being next to Segal. Poor Morris Chestnut though... :(


Sun Apr 10, 2005 8:09 pm
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bumps!

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Sat Jun 18, 2005 1:03 am
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lol, I never finished my list. I lost track, so someone else can go.

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Sat Jun 18, 2005 1:13 am
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This was such a random bump. :lol:


Sat Jun 18, 2005 1:15 am
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Zingaling wrote:
This was such a random bump. :lol:



It's like he farted in the wrong direction. :lol:

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In order of preference: Christian, Argos

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Briefs. Am used to them and boxers can get me in trouble it seems. Too much room and maybe the silkiness have created more than one awkward situation.


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Sat Jun 18, 2005 1:18 am
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So, would anybody else like to contribute a list? :wink:

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Sun Jul 24, 2005 6:49 pm
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The Lubitsch Touch
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I'll do one. Not sure where to start though......

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Sun Jul 24, 2005 7:02 pm
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yoshue wrote:
I'll do one. Not sure where to start though......


Go right ahead.

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Sun Jul 24, 2005 7:25 pm
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A “worst” list is hard. Best of’s are way more fun. I’ve never had an easy time deciding what ‘worst’ even means…I hate lots of movies. How does one differentiate? There are different levels of bad. Well, anyway, here’s a list of 50 movies that are especially painful on every level, from conceptual to the execution. The kind that just grab me in the gut and make me feel bad about the world. Movies that never had a good, original, or noble idea in their head. Some bad movies (The Avengers, for example) get to stay off the list for at least TRYING. The following movies, however, either reek of a cynical cash-in, or a decent idea so ill-conceived they can’t be ignored (see: #1, #6). Are they the absolute worst? Some, probably not. Many, I truly believe are. And I’m not going to waste my time on MST3K movies. They were never going to be good. This list consists of movies made by people who consider themselves filmmakers, with money and talent (in most cases…) at their disposal. That’s what makes them worse. In no real order:

1.The Man in the Iron Mask (1998)- Braveheart was solid, but Randall Wallace should be blacklisted for this embarrassment.
2. XXX (2002)
3. Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle (2003)- I don't know what this is...but it's not a movie.
4. Big Momma’s House (2000) -Pain.
5. Behind Enemy Lines (2001)
6. Wild Wild West (1999)
7. Armageddon (1998)
8. Patch Adams (1998)- Either this or IRON MASK is probably the worst
9. Nothing But Trouble (Early nineties…not sure when…don’t want to bother looking up imdb….1991?)
10. Allan Quatermain and the Lost City of Gold (1987….this one’s a riot though…wow)

And, frankly, I don’t know if this should include movies so heinously awful, vile, and inane that I love watching them (You Got Served, Cool As Ice). I guess they’ll stay off.

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Sun Jul 24, 2005 7:36 pm
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You did not just put Armageddon on that list. :shock:

That was a good movie. Silly, but good. :shock:

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Sun Jul 24, 2005 7:40 pm
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I'll try this. Let me know when I'm up and can start.

PEACE, Mike ;)


Sun Jul 24, 2005 7:51 pm
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MikeQ. wrote:
I'll try this. Let me know when I'm up and can start.

PEACE, Mike ;)


Sure, as soon as Yoshue is done.

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Sun Jul 24, 2005 7:52 pm
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RogueCommander wrote:
You did not just put Armageddon on that list.

That was a good movie. Silly, but good.


Indeed I did. :gun:

I just thought every aspect was so obnoxious and grating and loud and senseless and artificial. The Aerosmith music blaring over the notorious, eye-gougingly bad Animal Crackers scene being the most egregious.

Don't get me wrong; I'm not an "Armageddeon sucks because it was directed by Michael Bay" guy. The Rock is a top-notch action flick; fast, funny, ludicrous. It works. Bad Boys II: I don't even like the first one, but it shows such a disdain for taste and logic (excuse me....they invade CUBA?!?!?!?), such glee in it's R-rated mayhem, that I can't help but respect it. But he really screwed the pooch here. It commits the worst sin imaginable; all else is forgivable if it's entertaining. But damnit, its not. I first saw it when I was 14...I liked damn near every blockbuster I got my hands on...but even then, I knew this was special. And it's so unnessecarily LONG. It wastes such a great cast: Willis, Ben Affleck, Owen Wilson, Billy Bob Thornton, etc. I hate it with the passion of a thousand burning suns. There was no reason for it to be so unwatchable.[/quote]

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Sun Jul 24, 2005 7:57 pm
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Hmm, you have your points. I found it immensly entertaining myself, though I prefered Deep Impact as the characters felt more real to me. I know many disagree but that is up to them.

As far as Bad Boys goes, I loved the first and thought it was hillarious, but the second film was terrible.

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Sun Jul 24, 2005 8:00 pm
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There are just soooo many awful movies…I’m like a kid in a rancid candy store.

11.Christmas With The Cranks (2004)- Unfunny is one thing…but the BS this movie peddles is downright EVIL. The first Fascist Christmas film. Happy Holidays.
12.Rocky V(1990)- I’m no Rocky fan. But this one….whew.
13.Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge (1985)- This movie (accidentally…this isn’t WALL STREET) exemplifies, more than any other, why the 80’s were a miserable, miserable decade. Amazing that they made any more after this…really.
14. Star Trek: Generations(1994)- I’m a big fan of the Trek films. But here, nothing works. The last 30 minutes are some of the dumbest, most contrived I’ve ever been witness to. And the way they kill off a certain major character…for shame, Paramount, for shame.
15. Tomb Raider/Tomb Raider 2(2001-2003)- Pick one. 4 Hours, not a single moment of danger, suspense, or anything else of interest. Yeech.
16. The Musketeer (2001)- If you’ve seen this, you know what I’m talking about. Not much more I can add to the discourse. I wanted to kill everyone involved.
17. Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within (2001)- What the hell?!?!?!
18. Empire Records (1996)- This movie has rendered an entire generation of girls undateable. Why? They love it. Pandering, insufferable, loathsome GARBAGE.
19. Robocop 2(1990)- I've got to lay off, as this list could be filled entirely with lame sequels of this nature, but RC2 needs a shout-out. Sweet Xenu….
20. What Lies Beneath (2000)- Anytime I want to watch nothing happen for two hours, I know I can just pop in ol’ What Lies Beneath. A wretched mistake made by usually wonderful filmmakers/actors. The single most obvious movie I have ever seen.

Coming up: More tedium, including an ‘uplifting’ inner city Keanu Reeves Baseball movie where he (and us as well) learn a little bit about life, love, and 8-year old drive-by shooting victims!

But that will probably have to be tomorrow. I’ve got to wade through a lot of cruddy water. A lot.

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Sun Jul 24, 2005 9:10 pm
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More:

21. Ladyhawke (1985)- Wonderful concept. But the one of the worst performances I've ever seen (Matthew Broderick) coupled with the single worst score in movie history cement this movie firmly in the bottom. Pathetic in almost every repsect.
22. Hardball (2001)- One of the most painful 2 hours of my life. I'm not sure where else to go with this one.
23. Buddy, Buddy (1981)- This is one of those Lemmon/Matthau teamups, the last movie my favorite director, the legendary Billy Wilder, ever made. Enough to make you wish he'd died in '78. Looks like it was shot on toilet paper. :sad:
24. The Bone Collector (1999)- There's good serial killer movies. There's bad serial killer movies. Then there's the Bone Collector. Cower in fear, people.
25. Resident Evil (2002)- I think I'm picking too much on recent movies, but when they're like this.... :shock:
Shockingly bad. How hard is it to make a (decent) movie about Zombies overtaking a dilapidated mansion? Huh? Huh?
Did they really think we'd believe this thing was a MOVIE?!?!
26. Love's Labour's Lost (1999)- I love musicals. I love Branagh's Shakespeare adaptations. I can't believe this thing got financed. I've never seen something that was such a complete misfire on every level. Jesus.

Had to run away. More later. As though anyone cares.

But if I can save at least one poor soul from watching one of these atrocities, it's been worth it.

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Mon Jul 25, 2005 7:18 pm
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Hey.....Resident Evil was fun. Silly and stupid yes....but fun...

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Mon Jul 25, 2005 7:27 pm
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yoshue wrote:
12.Rocky V(1990)- I’m no Rocky fan. But this one….whew.


yoshue> :box: <Algren

yoshue wrote:
13.Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge (1985)- This movie (accidentally…this isn’t WALL STREET) exemplifies, more than any other, why the 80’s were a miserable, miserable decade. Amazing that they made any more after this…really.


\:D/

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Mon Jul 25, 2005 7:30 pm
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Yeah, Nightmare on Elm Street Part II: Freddy's Revenge (the official title) was quite bad. The original was a lot better, even the third installment was more exciting.

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Mon Jul 25, 2005 7:32 pm
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RogueCommander wrote:
Yeah, Nightmare on Elm Street Part II: Freddy's Revenge (the official title) was quite bad. The original was a lot better, even the third installment was more exciting.


Huh? :???: They were all shit.

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Mon Jul 25, 2005 7:37 pm
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Yum. Feedback. I do love it so. \:D/

I thought 1 was quite solid, and 3 and 4 are good, cheesy entertainments. New Nightmare was fun, if a bit TOO 'clever' and inside baseball for its own good. I can't defend the others. Especially the loathsome Freddy vs. Jason.

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Mon Jul 25, 2005 7:42 pm
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yoshue wrote:
Yum. Feedback. I do love it so. \:D/

I thought 1 was quite solid, and 3 and 4 are good, cheesy entertainments. New Nightmare was fun, if a bit TOO 'clever' and inside baseball for its own good. I can't defend the others. Especially the loathsome Freddy vs. Jason.


1 was great entertainment, 2 was such a mess, 3 was good but it started to get a little too cheesy, 4 was decent but not as good as it could have been, 5 I never finished as of yet.

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Mon Jul 25, 2005 7:44 pm
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Basically, number one is shit. Then number 2 to (wherever they end) are crap and all appear to be the same film.

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Mon Jul 25, 2005 7:49 pm
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27. Drop Zone (1994)- I only vaguely remember this. It's a Wesley Snipes action thing where he infiltrates a group of skydivers...no, I don't remember why. Nor do I care. I think Gary Busey may have been in there somewhere. Avoid at all costs.
28. The Fast and the Furious (2001)- I had absolutely zero tolerance for this movie. That's really all I have to say on the subject.
29. The Butterfly Effect (2003)- One of the most vile and ugly films I've ever had the displeasure of enduring. But it still finds time to be massively, unintentionally, hilarious.
30. Beowulf (too lazy/disinterested to check imdb....late 90's)- A version starring Christopher Lambert (I hate Highlander too) set, inexplicably, in the future (and a lame, derivative, castle-filled one, no less). I swear to Xenu they stole the score from a Mortal Kombat video game.
31. The Sweetest Thing (2002)- Does this movie really exist, or I just dream it one night after drinking and/or watching Something About Mary? On second thought, don't tell me.
32. The Hanoi Hilton (1987)- This is what happens when some right-wing nutjob with a bone to pick gets to a make a war film. But it's not the politics that make this one of the single worst movies ever made ( :-$ although I hear John Milius thought it was 'too reactionary'); it's the skull-crackingly awful hackwork filmmaking on display here. It's gotta be seen to be believed, and I'm gonna recommend that you all try; it's a valuable lesson in how bad film can be. You'll be able to better appreciate and be thankful for more run-of-the-mill shit filmmaking like Meet the Fockers and Day After Tomorrow.
33. Men in Black II (2002)- I didn't want to fill this list with all these modern films (not to mention sequels), but recent ones are the ones that keep coming to mind. And you have movies like MIB2 to thank for that.
34. Superstar (2000)- Well, MIB2 *and* Superstar.
35/36. Saw(2004)/The Grudge(2004)- Well, MIB2 and Superstar and Saw and The Grudge. Egads. Stop the train, I want to get off.
37. Staying Alive (1983)- I know how Algren feels about Stallone, but I'd like to see him defend this. :gun:

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Thu Jul 28, 2005 5:43 pm
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Only one of those I've even seen is SUperstar. Its so funny as a five-minute SNL skit...the first two times they featured it. Then it ran dry even there. How on earth they thought to make a full-length feature on it is beyond me. :-k


Thu Jul 28, 2005 5:45 pm
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