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Anonymous
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 Look, The Princess Bride screenplay! THE PRINCESS BRIDE
by
William Goldman
based on his novel
Cast List
CARY ELWES WESTLEY
ROBIN WRIGHT BUTTERCUP
MANDY PATINKIN INIGO
CHRIS SARANDON PRINCE HUMPERDINCK
CHRISTOPHER GUEST COUNT RUGEN
WALLACE SHAWN VIZZINI
ANDRE THE GIANT FEZZIK
FRED SAVAGE THE KID
PETER FALK THE GRANDFATHER
PETER COOK IMPRESSIVE CLERGYMAN
CAROL KANE VALERIE
MEL SMITH ALBINO
BILLY CRYSTAL MIRACLE MAX
FADE IN ON:
A VIDEO GAME ON A COMPUTER SCREEN.
The game is in progress. As a sick coughing sound is heard.
CUT TO:
THIS KID
lying in bed, coughing. Pale, one sick cookie. Maybe he's seven or eight or nine. He holds a remote in one hand, presses it, and the video game moves a little bit. Then he's hit by another spasm of coughing, puts the remote down.
His room is monochromatic, greys and blues, mildly high-tech. We're in the present day and this is a middle class house, somewhere in the suburbs.
CUT TO:
The Kid's MOTHER as she enters, goes to him, fluffs his pillows, kissses him, and briefly feels his forehead. She's worried, it doesn't show. During this
--
MOTHER
You feeling any better?
THE KID
A little bit.
MOTHER
Guess what.
THE KID
What?
MOTHER
Your grandfather's here.
THE KID
(not overjoyed)
Mom, can't you tell him that I'm sick?
MOTHER
You are sick, that's why he's here.
THE KID
He'll pinch my cheek. I hate that.
MOTHER
Maybe he won't.
The Kid shoots her an "I'm sure" look, as we
CUT TO:
THE KID'S GRANDFATHER bursting into the room. Kind of rumpled. But the eyes are bright. He has a wrapped package tucked under one arm as be immediately goes to The Kid, pinches his cheek.
GRANDFATHER
Hey! How's the sickie? Heh?
The Kid gives his Mother an "I told you so" look. The Mother ignores it, beats a retreat.
MOTHER
I think I'll leave you two pals.
(And she is gone. There's an uncomfortable silence, then-)
GRANDFATHER
I brought you a special present.
THE KID
What is it?
GRANDFATHER
Open it up.
The Kid does. He does his best to smile.
THE KID
A book?
GRANDFATHER
That's right. When I was your age, television was called books. And this is a special book. It was the book my father used to read to me when I was sick, and I used to read it to your father. And today, I'm gonna read it to you.
THE KID
Has it got any sports in it?
CUT TO:
THE GRANDFATHER
Suddenly passionate.
GRANDFATHER
Are you kidding? Fencing. Fighting. Torture. Revenge. Giants. Monsters. Chases. Escapes. True love. Miracles.
CUT TO:
THE TWO OF THEM as the Grandfather sits in a chair by the bed.
THE KID
(manages a shrug)
It doesn't sound too bad. I'll try and stay awake.
GRANDFATHER
Oh. Well, thank you very much. It's very nice of you. Your vote of confidence is overwhelming. All right.
(Book open now, be begins to read.)
The Princess Bride, by S. Morgenstern. Chapter One. Buttercup was raised on a small farm in the country of Florin.
DISSOLVE TO:
The story he's reading about, as the monochromatic look of the bedroom is replaced by the dazzling color of the English countryside.
GRANDFATHER
(off-screen)
Her favorite pastimes were riding her horse and tormenting the farm boy that worked there. His name was Westley, but she never called him that.
(to the kid)
Isn't that a wonderful beginning?
THE KID
(off-screen)
(doing his best)
Yeah. It's really good.
GRANDFATHER
(off-screen)
(reading)
Nothing gave Buttercup as much pleasure as ordering Westley around.
CUT TO:
BUTTERCUPS FARM - DAY
BUTTERCUP is standing, holding the reins of her horse, while in the background, WESTLEY, in the stable doorway, looks at her. Buttercup is in her late teens; doesn't care much about clothes and she hates brushing her long hair, so she isn't as attractive as she might be, but she's still probably the most beautiful woman in the world.
BUTTERCUP
Farm boy. Polish my horse's saddle. I want to see my face shining in it by morning.
WESTLEY
(quietly, watching her)
As you wish.
Westley is perhaps half a dozen years older than Buttercup. And maybe as handsome as she is beautiful. He gazes at her as she walks away.
GRANDFATHER
(off-screen)
"As you wish" was all he ever said to her.
DISSOLVE TO:
WESTLEY, outside, chopping wood. Buttercup drops two large buckets near him.
BUTTERCUP
Farm Boy. Fill these with water --
(a beat)
--please.
WESTLEY
As you wish.
She leaves; his eyes stay on her. She stops, turns -- he manages to look away as now her eyes stay on him.
GRANDFATHER
(off-screen)
That day, she was amazed to discover that when he was saying, "As you wish," what he meant was, "I love you."
DISSOLVE TO:
BUTTERCUP IN THE KITCHEN - DUSK
Westley enters with an armload of firewood.
GRANDFATHER
(off-screen)
And even more amazing was the day she realized she truly loved him back.
BUTTERCUP
(pointing to a pitcher that she could reach herself)
Farm Boy, fetch me that pitcher.
He gets it, hands it to her; they are standing very close to each other gazing into each other's eyes.
WESTLEY
As you wish.
(Now he turns, moves outside.)
DISSOLVE TO:
WESTLEY AND BUTTERCUP, outside his tiny hovel in the red glow of sunset. They are locked in a passionate kiss.
THE KID
(off-screen)
-hold it, hold it-
CUT TO:
THE KID'S ROOM
THE KID
What is this? Are you trying to trick me? -- Where's the sports? -- Is this a kissing book?
GRANDFATHER
-- wait, just wait --
THE KID
-- well, when does it get good?
GRANDFATHER
Keep your shirt on. Let me read.
(reading again)
Westley had no money for marriage. So he packed his few belongings and left the farm to seek his fortune across the sea.
CUT TO:
WESTLEY AND BUTTERCUP
They stand near the gate to the farm, locked in an embrace.
GRANDFATHER
(off-screen)
(reading)
It was a very emotional time for Buttercup --
THE KID
(off-screen)
(groaning)
I don't be-leeve this.
BUTTERCUP
I fear I'll never see you again.
WESTLEY
Of course you will.
BUTTERCUP
But what if something happens to you?
WESTLEY
Hear this now: I will come for you.
BUTTERCUP
But how can you be sure?
WESTLEY
This is true love. You think this happens every day?
He smiles at her, she smiles too, throws her arms so tightly around him. They kiss. Then as Westley walks away, Buttercup watches him go.
GRANDFATHER
(off-screen)
(reading)
Westley didn't reach his destination. His ship was attacked by the Dread Pirate Roberts, who never left captives alive. When Buttercup got the news that Westley was murdered --
THE KID
(off-screen)
(perking up a little)
-- murdered by pirates is good --
CUT TO:
CLOSE UP: Buttercup, staring out the window of her room.
GRANDFATHER
(off-screen)
She went into her room and shut the door. And for days, she neither slept nor ate.
BUTTERCUP
(no emotion at all in her voice)
I will never love again.
HOLD ON HER FACE, perfect and perfectly sad.
DISSOLVE TO:
FLORIN CASTLE - DAY
The main courtyard of Florin replete with townspeople, livestock, and a bustling marketplace.
GRANDFATHER
(off-screen)
(reading)
Five years later, the main square of Florin City was filled as never before to hear the announcement of the great Prince Humperdinck's bride-to be.
CUT TO:
PRINCE HUMPERDINCK, a man of incredible power and bearing, standing in his royal robes on a castle balcony. Three others standing behind him: an OLD COUPLE with crowns, the aging KING AND QUEEN, and a dark bearded man who seems the Prince's match in strength: this is COUNT RUGEN.
HUMPERDINCK
(raises his hands, starts to speak)
My people ... a month from now, our country will have its 500th anniversary. On that sundown, I shall marry a lady who was once a commoner like yourselves --
(pause)
-- but perhaps you will not find her common now. Would you like to meet her?
And the answering YESSSS booms like summer thunder.
CUT TO:
A giant staircase leading to the CROWD and as a FIGURE just begins to become visible,
CUT TO:
THE CROWD, as they see the figure. (We haven't yet.) And if there is such a thing as collective action, then this crowd, collectively, holds its breath.
CUT TO:
THE STAIRCASE, as the figure appears in the archway. It is Buttercup. And she resplendent.
HUMPERDINCK
My people ... the Princess Buttercup!!
She descends the stairs and starts to move amongst the people.
CUT TO:
THE CROWD, and they do a very strange thing: with no instruction at all, they suddenly go to their knees. Great waves of people kneeling and --
CUT TO:
BUTTERCUP, terribly moved. She stands immobile among her subjects, blinking back tears. HOLD on her beauty for a moment.
GRANDFATHER
(off-screen)
Buttercup's emptiness consumed her. Although the law of the land gave Humperdinck the right to choose his bride, she did not love him.
CUT TO:
WOODLANDS
-- and Buttercup, barreling along, controlling her horse easily.
GRANDFATHER
(off-screen)
Despite Humperdinck's reassurance that she would grow to love him, the only joy she found was in her daily ride.
CUT TO:
A WOODED GLEN, CLOSE TO SUNDOWN.
Lovely, quiet, deserted. Buttercup suddenly reins in.
VOICE
A word, my lady?
CUT TO:
THREE MEN, standing close together in the path. Beyond them can be seen the waters of Florin Channel. The three men are not your everyday commuter types. Standing in front is a tiny man with the most angelic face. He is Sicilian and his name is VIZZINI. Beside him is a Spaniard, erect and taut as a blade ofsteel. His name is INIGO MONTOYA. Beside him is a giant. His name is FEZZIK.
VIZZINI
We are but poor, lost circus performers. Is there a village nearby?
BUTTERCUP
There is nothing nearby; not for miles.
VIZZINI
Then there will be no one to hear you scream-
He nods to the giant, Fezzik, who merely reaches over, touches a nerve on Buttercup's neck, and the start of a scream is all she manages -- unconsciousness comes that fast. As she starts to fall --
CUT TO:
A TINY ISOLATED SPOT AT THE EDGE OF FLORIN CHANNEL
A sailboat is moored. It's dusk now, shadows are long. Inigo, the Spaniard, busies himself getting the boat ready.
CUT TO:
The giant Fezzik carries Buttercup, unconscious, on board.
Vizzini rips some tiny pieces of fabric from an army jacket and tucks them along the saddle of Buttercup's horse. There is about the entire operation a sense of tremendous skill and precision.
INIGO
What is that you're ripping?
VIZZINI
(not stopping or turning)
It's fabric from the uniform of an Army officer of Guilder.
FEZZIK
Who's Guilder?
VIZZINI
(pointing straight out)
The country across the sea. The sworn enemy of Florin.
(slaps the horse's rump)
Go!
The horse takes off. They start for the boat.
VIZZINI
Once the horse reaches the castle, the fabric will make the Prince suspect the Guilderians have abducted his love. When he finds her body dead on the Guilder frontier, his suspicions will be totally confirmed.
FEZZIK
You never said anything about killing anyone.
Vizzini hops onto the boat.
VIZZINI
I've hired you to help me start a war. That's a prestigious line of work with a long and glorious tradition.
FEZZIK
I just don't think it's right, killing an innocent girl.
VIZZINI
(whirling on
FEZZIK
)
Am I going mad or did the word "think" escape your lips? You were not hired for your brains, you hippopotamic land mass.
INIGO
I agree with FEZZIK.
CUT TO:
CLOSE UP: Vizzini, in a fury.
VIZZINI
(We only thought he was in a fury -- now he's really getting mad)
Oh. The sot has spoken. What happens to her is not truly your concern -- I will kill her --
(louder)
And remember this -- never forget this --
CUT TO:
INIGO AND FEZZIK, as Vizzini advances on them. Nothing shows on Inigo's face, but FEZZIK is panicked by Vizzini.
VIZZINI
(to Inigo)
-- when I found you, you were so slobbering drunk you couldn't buy brandy --
(now to FEZZIK, who retreats as much as he can while Vizzini advances)
-- and you -- friendless, brainless, helpless, hopeless -- Do you want me to send you back to where you were, unemployed in Greenland?
Vizzini glares at him, then turns, leaves them.
During this, Inigo has gone close to FEZZIK, who is very distressed at the insults he's just received. As Inigo casts off.
INIGO
(softly)
That Vizzini, he can fuss.
(a slight emphasis on the last word)
FEZZIK
(looking at Inigo)
... fuss ... fuss ...
(Suddenly, he's got it again, emphasis on the last word.)
I think he likes to scream at us.
INIGO
Probably he means no harm.
FEZZIK
He's really very short on charm.
INIGO
(proudly)
Oh, you've a great gift for rhyme.
FEZZIK
Yes, some of the time.
(he starts to smile)
VIZZINI
(whirling on them)
Enough of that.
As they sail off, we hear their voices as the boat recedes.
INIGO
FEZZIK, are there rocks ahead?
FEZZIK
If there are, we'll all be dead.
VIZZINI
No more rhymes now, I mean it.
FEZZIK
Anybody want a peanut?
As Vizzini screams we:
DISSOLVE TO:
THE SAILBOAT RACING ACROSS THE DARK WATERS
Inigo is at the helm, FEZZIK stands near the body of the princess, whose eyelids flutter slightly -- or do they? Vizzini sits motionless. The waves are higher, there are only occasional flashes of moon slanting down between clouds.
VIZZINI
(to Inigo)
We'll reach the Cliffs by dawn.
Inigo nods, glances back.
VIZZINI
Why are you doing that?
INIGO
Making sure nobody's following us.
VIZZINI
That would be inconceivable.
BUTTERCUP
Despite what you think, you will be caught. And when you are, the Prince will see you all hanged.
Vizzini turns a cold eye on the Princess.
VIZZINI
Of all the necks on this boat, Highness, the one you should be worrying about is your own.
Inigo keeps staring behind them.
VIZZINI
Stop doing that. We can all relax, it's almost over-
INIGO
You're sure nobody's following us?
VIZZINI
As I told you, it would be absolutely, totally, and in all other ways, inconceivable. No one in Guilder knows what we've done. And no one in Florin could have gotten here so fast. Out of curiosity, why do you ask?
INIGO
No reason. It's only, I just happened to look behind us, and something is there.
VIZZINI
What?
And suddenly the three whirl, stare back and as they do --
CUT TO:
THE DARKNESS BEHIND THEM.
It's hard to see; the moon is behind clouds now. But the wind whistles. And the waves pound. And suddenly it's all gone ominous.
CUT TO:
INGIO, FEZZIK, AND VIZZINI squinting back, trying desperately to see. At this moment, they are all holding their breaths.
CUT TO:
THE DARKNESS BEHIND THEM.
And there's still nothing to be seen. It's still ominous. Only now it's eerie too.
Then --
The moon slips through and --
Inigo was right -- something is very much there. A sailboat. Black. With a great billowing sail. Black. It's a good distance behind them, but it's coming like hell, closing the gap.
CUT TO:
INIGO, FEZZIK, AND VIZZINI
staring at the other boat.
VIZZINI
(explaining with as much logic as he can muster)
Probably some local fisherman out for a pleasure cruise at night through eel-infested waters.
And now as a sound comes from their boat they turn as we
CUT TO:
BUTTERCUP, diving into the water, starting to swim away.
CUT TO:
THE BOAT,
and Vizzini screaming.
VIZZINI
Go in, get after her!
INIGO
I don't swim.
FEZZIK
(to the unasked question)
I only dog paddle.
VIZZINI
Veer left. Left. Left!
CUT TO:
BUTTERCUP,
still close to the boat, switching from a crawl to a silent breast stroke. The wind dies and as it does, something new is heard. A not-too-distant high-pitched shrieking sound. Buttercup stops suddenly, treads water.
CUT TO:
THE BOAT
VIZZINI
Do you know what that sound is, Highness? Those are the Shrieking Eels -- if you doubt me, just wait. They always grow louder when they're about to feed on human flesh.
CUT TO:
BUTTERCUP, treading water, still not far from the boat. The shrieking sounds are getting louder and more terrifying. Buttercup stays silent.
CUT TO:
THE BOAT
VIZZINI
If you swim back now, I promise, no harm will come to you. I doubt you will get such an offer from the Eels.
CUT TO:
BUTTERCUP, and she's a gutsy girl. The shrieking sound is louder still, but she doesn't make a sound. Behind her now, something dark and gigantic slithers past.
She's scared, sure, petrified, who wouldn't be, but she makes no reply --
-- and now a SHRIEKING EEL has zeroed in on her --
-- and now she sees it, a short distance away, circling, starting to close --
-- and Buttercup is frozen, trying not to make a movement of any kind --
-- and the Eel slithers closer, closer --
-- and Buttercup knows it now, there's nothing she can do, it's over, all over --
-- and now the Eel opens its mouth wide, and it's never made such a noise, and as its great jaws are about to clamp down --
GRANDFATHER
(off-screen)
She doesn't get eaten by the Eels at this time.
And the second we hear him:
CUT TO:
THE SICK KID'S ROOM
The Kid looks the same, pale and weak, but maybe he's gripping the sheets a little too tightly with his hands.
THE KID
What?
GRANDFATHER
The Eel doesn't get her. I'm explaining to you because you looked nervous.
THE KID
Well, I wasn't nervous.
His Grandfather says nothing, just waits.
THE KID
Well, maybe I was a little bit concerned. But that's not the same thing.
GRANDFATHER
Because I can stop now if you want.
THE KID
No. You could read a little bit more ... if you want.
(He grips the sheets again, as the Grandfather picks up the book)
GRANDFATHER
(reading)
"Do you know what that sound is, Highness?"
CUT TO:
VIZZINI.
We're back in the boat.
VIZZINI
Those are the Shrieking Eels.
THE KID
(off-screen)
We're past that, Grandpa.
CUT TO:
THE SICK KID'S ROOM
THE KID
You read it already.
GRANDFATHER
Oh. Oh my goodness, I did. I'm sorry. Beg your pardon.
CUT TO:
BUTTERCUP,
treading water.
GRANDFATHER
(off-screen)
All right, all right, let's see. Uh, she was in the water, the Eel was coming after her. She was frightened. The Eel started to charge her. And then -
And we're back where we were at the last moment we saw her, Buttercup frozen, the Shrieking Eel, jaws wide, about to clamp down as we
CUT TO:
A GIANT ARM,
pounding the Eel unconscious in one move, then easily lifting Buttercup.
PULL BACK TO REVEAL
The boat and FEZZIK, Buttercup being deposited on the deck.
VIZZINI
Put her down. Just put her down.
CUT TO:
INIGO,
pointing behind them.
INIGO
I think he's getting closer.
Vizzini, tying Buttercup's hands.
VIZZINI
He's no concern of ours. Sail on!
(to Buttercup)
I suppose you think you're brave, don't you?
BUTTERCUP
(staring deep at him)
Only compared to some.
DISSOLVE TO:
The boat at dawn, being followed closely by the black sailboat, which we can see for the first time is being sailed by a MAN IN BLACK, and his boat almost seems to be flying.
INIGO
Look! He's right on top of us. I wonder if he is using the same wind we are using.
VIZZINI
Whoever he is, he's too late --
(pointing ahead of them)
-- see?
(big)
The Cliffs of Insanity.
And once he's said the name,
CUT TO:
THE CLIFFS OF INSANITY AT DAWN
They rise straight up, sheer from the water, impossibly high.
CUT TO:
The TWO SAILBOATS
in a wild race for the Cliffs and the Man In Black is closing faster than ever, but not fast enough, the lead was too great to overcome, and as Inigo sails with great precision straight at the Cliffs
CUT TO:
THE BOAT
being pursued.
VIZZINI
Hurry up. Move the thing! Um ... that other thing. Move it!
(staring back now)
We're safe -- only FEZZIK is strong enough to go up our way -- he'll have to sail around for hours 'til he finds a harbor.
There is much activity going on, all of it swift, expert, economical. FEZZIK reaches up along the Cliff face, grabs a jutting rock, reaches behind it. Suddenly there is a thick rope in his hands. He drops back to the boat, gives the rope a freeing swing and
CUT TO:
THE CLIFFS.
The rope goes all the way to the top.
CUT TO:
INIGO
hurrying to FEZZIK. He straps a harness to him, then lifts Buttercup and Vizzini in the harness. Finally, he himself gets in the harness. All three are strapped to FEZZIK like papooses.
And he starts to ascend the rope, carrying them all along with him as he goes.
CUT TO:
THE MAN IN BLACK, sailing in toward the Cliffs of Insanity, watching as FEZZIK rises swiftly through the first moments of dawn.
CUT TO:
THE TOP OF THE CLIFFS, LOOKING DOWN
FEZZIK'S GROUP is only faintly visible far below. This is the first time we've gotten the real vertigo feeling and it's a gasper.
CUT TO:
FEZZIK CLIMBING ON. Buttercup is almost out of her mind with fear.
CUT TO:
THE ENTIRE LENGTH OF THE CLIFFS.
FEZZIK is moving right along; however high they are, he's already over a third of the way done.
CUT TO:
THE MAN IN BLACK,
leaping from his ship to the rope, starting to climb. He's impossibly far behind, but the way he goes you'd think he didn't know that because he is flying up the rope, hand over hand like lightning.
CUT TO:
VIZZINI AND THE OTHERS.
INIGO
(looking down)
He's climbing the rope. And he's gaining on us.
VIZZINI
Inconceivable!
He prods FEZZIK, who nods, increases his pace.
CUT TO:
THE MAN IN BLACK,
roaring up the rope, and
CUT TO:
LONG SHOT - THE CLIFFS
-- and the Man In Black is cutting deeply into FEZZIK's lead.
CUT TO:
VIZZINI AND THE OTHERS
VIZZINI
(shrieking)
Faster!
FEZZIK
I thought I was going faster.
VIZZINI
You were supposed to be this colossus. You were this great, legendary thing. And yet he gains.
FEZZIK
Well, I'm carrying three people. And he's got only himself.
VIZZINI
(cutting through)
-- I do not accept excuses.
(shaking his head)
I'm just going to have to find myself a new giant, that's all.
FEZZIK
(hurt)
Don't say that, Vizzini. Please.
And his arms begin moving much more slowly.
CUT TO:
THE MAN IN BLACK.
His arms still work as before. If anything, he has speeded up. FEZZIK's lead is smaller and smaller
CUT TO:
THE VIEW FROM THE TOP OF THE CLIFFS
Maybe a hundred feet for FEZZIK to go. Maybe more.
CUT TO:
VIZZINI AND THE OTHERS, and it's getting too close now.
VIZZINI
Did I make it clear that your job is at stake?
CUT TO:
THE MAN IN BLACK,
less than a hudred feet behind them. And gaining.
CUT TO:
THE CLIFF TOP AS FEZZIK MAKES IT!
Vizzini leaps off and takes out a knife, begins to cut the rope which is tied around a great rock while Inigo helps the Princess to her feet and FEZZIKjust stands around, waiting for someone to tell him to do something. Nearby are some stone ruins. Once they might have been a fort, now the kind of resemble Stonehenge.
CUT TO:
THE MAN IN BLACK,
75 feet from the top now, maybe less -- maybe only 50 -- and his pace is as dazzling as before, and
CUT TO:
VIZZINI,
cutting through the last of the rope and
CUT TO:
THE ROPE,
slithering across the ground and out of sight toward the Channel, like some great serpent at last going home.
CUT TO:
FEZZIK,
standing with Inigo and Buttercup by the cliff edge.
FEZZIK
(to Inigo -- impressed)
He has very good arms.
CUT TO:
THE MAN IN BLACK,
hanging suspended hundreds of feet in the air, holding to the jagged rocks, desperately trying to cling to life.
CUT TO:
VIZZINI,
stunned, turning to the others, looking down.
VIZZINI
He didn't fall? Inconceivable!!
INIGO
(whirling on Vizzini)
You keep using that word -- I do not think it means what you think it means.
(looks down again)
My God! He's climbing.
CUT TO:
THE MAN IN BLACK,
and so he is. Very slowly, he is picking his way upwards, sometimes a foot at a time, sometimes an inch.
CUT TO:
The group at the top, staring down.
VIZZINI
Whoever he is, he's obviously seen us with the Princess, and must therefore die.
(to FEZZIK)
You, carry her.
(to Inigo)
We'll head straight for the Guilder frontier. Catch up when he's dead. If he falls, fine. If not, the sword.
Inigo nods.
INIGO
I want to duel him left-handed.
VIZZINI
You know what a hurry we're in.
INIGO
Well, it's the only way I can be satisfied. If I use my right -- tch -- over too quickly.
VIZZINI
(turns abruptly, starts off-screen)
Oh, have it your way.
CUT TO:
THE MAN IN BLACK,
still creeping his way upward.
CUT TO:
FEZZIK,
who goes to Inigo.
FEZZIK
You be careful.
(gravely)
-- people in masks cannot be trusted.
VIZZINI
(calling out)
I'm waiting!
FEZZIK nods, hurries after Vizzini.
CUT TO:
INIGO.
He watches them depart, then turns, peers down over the Cliffs. He watches a moment, then paces, shaking his hands loose. He practices a few of his honed fencing skills. He is a taut and nervous fellow, and has never been one for waiting around.
CUT TO:
THE MAN IN BLACK,
climbing on. He must be six inches closer to the top than when last we saw him. Inigo is watching.
CUT TO:
INIGO,
walking away. Finally he goes back to cliff edge, starts to talk. It's instant death if the Man In Black falls, but neither gives that possibility much credence. This is our two heroes meeting. They don't know it yet; but that's what it is.
INIGO
(hollering down)
Hello there.
The Man In Black glances up, kind of grunts.
INIGO
Slow going?
MAN IN BLACK
Look, I don't mean to be rude, but this is not as easy as it looks. So I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't distract me.
INIGO
Sorry.
MAN IN BLACK
Thank you.
Inigo steps away, draws his sword, loosens up with a few perfect thrusts. Then resheathes and looks eagerly over the edge again.
INIGO
I do not suppose you could speed things up?
MAN IN BLACK
(with some beat)
If you're in such a hurry, you could lower a rope, or a tree branch, or find something useful to do.
INIGO
I could do that. In fact, I've got some rope up here. But I do not think that you will accept my help, since I am only waiting around to kill you.
MAN IN BLACK
That does put a damper on our relationship.
(He finds another bold a few inches higher)
INIGO
But I promise I will not kill you until you reach the top.
MAN IN BLACK
That's very comforting. But I'm afraid you'll just have to wait.
INIGO
I hate waiting. I could give you my word as a Spaniard.
MAN IN BLACK
No good. I've known too many Spaniards.
And he just hangs there in space, resting, gathering his strength.
INIGO
You don't know any way you'll trust me?
MAN IN BLACK
Nothing comes to mind.
And on these words, CAMERA ZOOMS into a CLOSE UP on Inigo. He raises his right hand high, his eyes blaze, and his voice takes on a tone we have not heard before.
INIGO
I swear on the soul of my father, Domingo Montoya, you will reach the top alive.
CUT TO:
THE MAN IN BLACK.
There is a pause. Then, quietly:
MAN IN BLACK
Throw me the rope.
CUT TO:
INIGO.
He dashes to the giant rock the rope was originally tied to.
CUT TO:
THE MAN IN BLACK,
as his grip loosens a moment, trying to cling to the side of the cliff.
CUT TO:
INIGO,
now with a small coil of rope, hurries back to the edge and hurls it over --
CUT TO:
THE ROPE.
It hangs close to the Man In Black. He releases the rocks, grabs the rope, hangs helplessly in space a moment, then looks up at Inigo and --
CUT TO:
INIGO,
straining, forcing his body away from the cliff edge and --
CUT TO:
THE MAN IN BLACK
rising through the early morning light, slowly, steadily, and as the cliff top at last comes within reach --
CUT TO:
INIGO,
watching as the Man In Black crawls to safety, then looks to Inigo.
MAN IN BLACK
Thank you.
(pulling his sword)
INIGO
We'll wait until you're ready.
MAN IN BLACK
Again. Thank you.
The Man In Black sits to rest on the boulder that once held the rope. He tugs off his leather boots and is amazed to see several large rocks tumble out. The Man In Black wears gloves. Inigo stares at them.
INIGO
I do not mean to pry, but you don't by any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand?
He glances up -- the question clearly baffles him.
MAN IN BLACK
Do you always begin conversations this way?
INIGO
My father was slaughtered by a six- fingered man. He was a great swordmaker, my father. And when the six-fingered man appeared and requested a special sword, my father took the job. He slaved a year before he was done.
He hands his sword to the Man In Black.
MAN IN BLACK
(fondling it-impressed)
I have never seen its equal.
CUT TO:
CLOSE UP - INIGO.
Even now, this still brings pain.
INIGO
The six-fingered man returned and demanded it, but at one-tenth his promised price. My father refused. Without a word, the six-fingered man slashed him through the heart. I loved my father, so, naturally, challenged his murderer to a duel ... I failed ... the six-fingered man did leave me alive with the six-fingered sword, but he gave me these.
(He toucbes his scars.)
CUT TO:
THE MAN IN BLACK,
looking up at Inigo.
MAN IN BLACK
How old were you?
INIGO
I was eleven years old. When I was strong enough, I dedicated my life to the study of fencing. So the next time we meet, I will not fail. I will go up to the six-fingered man and say, "Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."
MAN IN BLACK
You've done nothing but study swordplay?
INIGO
More pursuit than study lately. You see, I cannot find him. It's been twenty years now. I am starting to lose confidence. I just work for Vizzini to pay the bills. There's not a lot of money in revenge.
MAN IN BLACK
(handing back the great sword, starting to rise)
Well, I certainly hope you find him, someday.
INIGO
You are ready, then?
MAN IN BLACK
Whether I am or not, you've been more than fair.
INIGO
You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you.
MAN IN BLACK
(walking away a few paces, unsheathing his sword)
You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die.
INIGO
Begin!
And on that word --
CUT TO:
THE TWO OF THEM.
And what we are starting now is one of the two greatest sword fights in modern movies (the other one happens later on), and right from the beginning it looks different.
Because they aren't close to each other -- none of the swords-crossing "en garde" garbage.
No, what we have here is two men, two athletes, and they look to be too faraway to damage each other, but each time one makes even the tiniest feint, the other counters, and there is silence, and as they start to circle --
CUT TO:
THE SIX-FINGERED SWORD,
feinting here, feinting there and --
CUT TO:
THE TWO MEN,
finished teasing, begin to duel in earnest.
Their swords cross, then again, again, and the sound comes so fast it's almost continual. Inigo presses on, the Man In Black retreating up a rocky incline.
INIGO
(thrilled)
You're using Bonetti's defense against me, ah?
MAN IN BLACK
I thought it fitting, considering the rocky terrain --
INIGO
Naturally, you must expect me to attack with Capo Ferro --
And he shifts his style now.
MAN IN BLACK
(coping as best he can)
-- naturally --
(suddenly shifting again)
--but I find Thibault cancels out Capo Ferro, don't you?
The Man In Black is now perched at the edge of the elevated castle ruin. No where to go, he jumps to the sand. Inigo stares down at him.
INIGO
Unless the enemy has studied his Agrippa-
And now, with the grace of an Olympian, Inigo flies off the perch, somersaults clean over the Man In Black's head, and lands facing his opponent.
INIGO
-- which I have.
The two men are almost flying across the rocky terrain, never losing balance, never coming close to stumbling; the battle rages with incredible finesse, first one and then the other gaining the advantage, and by now, it's clear that this isn't just two athletes going at it, it's a lot more that that. This is two legendary swashbucklers and they're in their prime, it's Burt Lancaster in "The Crimson Pirate" battling Errol Flynn in "Robin Hood" and then, incredibly, the action begins going even faster than before as we
CUT TO:
INIGO.
And behind him now, drawing closer all the time, is the deadly edge of the Cliffs of Insanity. Inigo fights and ducks and feints and slashes and it all works, but not for long, as gradually the Man In Black keeps the advantage, keeps forcing Inigo back, closer and closer to death.
INIGO
(happy as a clam)
You are wonderful!
MAN IN BLACK
Thank you -- I've worked hard to become so.
The Cliff edge is very close now. Inigo is continually being forced toward it.
INIGO
I admit it -- you are better than I am.
MAN IN BLACK
Then why are you smiling?
Inches from defeat, Inigo is, in fact, all smiles.
INIGO
Because I know something you don't know.
MAN IN BLACK
And what is that?
INIGO
I am not left-handed.
And he throws the six-fingered sword into his right hand and immediately, the tide of battle turns.
CUT TO:
THE MAN IN BLACK,
stunned, doing everything be can to keep Inigo by the Cliff edge. But no use. Slowly at first, he begins to retreat. Now faster, Inigo is in control and the Man In Black is desperate.
CUT TO:
INIGO.
And the six-fingered sword is all but invisible now, as he increases his attack, then suddenly switches styles again.
CUT TO:
A ROCKY STAIRCASE leading to a turret-shaped plateau, and the Man In Black is retreating like mad up the steps and he can't stop Inigo -- nothing can stop Inigoo -- and in a frenzy, the Man In Black makes every feint, tries every thrust, lets go with all he has left. But he fails. Everything fails. He tries one or two final desperate moves but they are nothing.
MAN IN BLACK
You're amazing!
INIGO
I ought to be after twenty years.
And now the Man In Black is smashed into a stone pillar, pinned there under the six fingered sword.
MAN IN BLACK
(hollering it out)
There's something I ought to tell you.
INIGO
Tell me.
MAN IN BLACK
I am not left-handed either.
And now he changes hands, and at last, the battle is fully joined.
CUT TO:
INIGO.
And to his amazement, he is being forced back down the steps. He tries one style, another, but it all comes down to the same thing -- the Man In Black seems to be in control. And before Inigo knows it, the six-fingered sword is knocked clear out of his hand.
Inigo retreats, dives from the stairs to a moss-covered bar suspended over the archway. He swings out, lands, and scrambles to his sword and we
CUT TO:
THE MAN IN BLACK
who watches Inigo, then casually tosses his sword to the landing where it sticks in perfectly. Then the Man In Black copies INIGO. Not copies exactly, improves. He dives to the bar, swings completely over it like a circus performer and dismounts with a 9.7 backflip.
CUT TO:
INIGO,
staring in awe.
INIGO
Who are you?!
MAN IN BLACK
No one of consequence.
INIGO
I must know.
MAN IN BLACK
Get used to disappointment.
INIGO
Okay.
CUT TO:
INIGO,
moving like lightning, and he thrusts forward, slashes, darts back, all in almost a single movement and --
CUT TO:
THE MAN IN BLACK.
Dodging, blocking, and again he thrusts forward, faster even than before, and again he slashes but --
CUT TO:
INIGO.
And there is never a move anyone makes he doesn't remember, and this time he blocks the slash, slashes out himself with the six-fingered sword.
On it goes, back and forth across the rocky terrain, Inigo's feet moving with the grace and speed of a great improvisational dancer.
CUT TO:
THE SIX-FINGERED SWORD
as it is knocked free, arching up into the air, and --
CUT TO:
INIGO
catching it again. And something terrible is written behind his eyes: he has given his all, done everything man can do, tried every style, made every maneuver, but it wasn't enough, and on his face for all to see is the realization that he, Inigo Montoya of Spain, is going to lose.
CUT TO:
THE MAN IN BLACK,
moving in for the end now, blocking everything, muzzling everything and
CUT TO:
THE SIX-FINGERED SWORD,
sent flying from Inigo's grip. He stands helpless only a moment. Then be drops to his knees, bows his head, shuts his eyes.
INIGO
Kill me quickly.
MAN IN BLACK
I would as soon destroy a stained glass window as an artist like yourself. However, since I can't have you following me either --
And he dunks Inigo's head with his heavy sword handle. Inigo pitches forward unconscious.
MAN IN BLACK
Please understand, I hold you in the highest respect.
He grabs his scabbard and takes off after the Princess and we
CUT TO:
CLOSE UP: VIZZINI
VIZZINI
Inconceivable!
PULL BACK TO REVEAL
Vizzini, staring down from a narrow mountain path, as far below the Man In Black can be seen running. FEZZIK, carrying the Princess, stands alongside. It's a little later in the morning.
VIZZINI
Give her to me.
(grabs Buttercup starts off)
Catch up with us quickly.
FEZZIK
(starting to panic)
What do I do?
VIZZINI
Finish him, finish him. Your way.
FEZZIK
Oh, good, my way. Thank you, Vizzini.
(little pause)
Which way is my way?
CUT TO:
A COUPLE OF ROCKS
Nothing gigantic. Vizzini points to them. There is a large boulder nearby.
VIZZINI
Pick up one of those rocks, get behind the boulder, and in a few minutes, the Man in Black will come running around the bend. The minute his head is in view, hit it with the rock!
As Vizzini and Buttercup hurry away.
FEZZIK
(little frown; softly)
My way's not very sportsmanlike.
He grabs one of the rocks and plods behind the boulder and we --
DISSOLVE TO:
THE MAN IN BLACK,
racing up the mountain trail. Ahead is a bend in the trail. He sees it, slows. Then he stops, listening.
Satisfied by the silence, he starts forward again and as he rounds the bend -- a rock flies INTO FRAME, shattering on a boulder inches in front of him.
CUT TO:
FEZZIK.
He moves into the mountain path. He has picked up another rock and holds it lightly.
FEZZIK
I did that on purpose. I don't have to miss.
MAN IN BLACK
I believe you -- So what happens now?
FEZZIK
We face each other as God intended. Sportsmanlike. No tricks, no weapons, skill against skill alone.
MAN IN BLACK
You mean, you'll put down your rock and I'll put down my sword, and we'll try to kill each other like civilized people?
FEZZIK
(gently)
I could kill you now.
He gets set to throw, but the Man In Black shakes his head, takes off his sword and scabard, begins the approach toward the Giant.
MAN IN BLACK
Frankly, I think the odds are slightly in your favor at hand fighting.
FEZZIK
It's not my fault being the biggest and the strongest. I don't even exercise.
He flips the rock away.
CUT TO:
THE MOUNTAIN PATH AND THE TWO MEN.
The Man In Black is not now and has never been a shrimp. But it's like he wasn't even there, FEZZIK towers over him so much.
There is a moment's pause, and then the Man In Black dives at FEZZIK's chest, slams him several tremendous blows in the stomach, twists his arm severely, slips skillfully into a beautifully applied bear hug, and in general makes any number of terrific wrestling moves.
FEZZIK just stands there, kind of taking in the scenery. Finally the Man In Black pushes himself away, stares up at the Giant.
MAN IN BLACK
Look are you just fiddling around with me or what?
FEZZIK
I just want you to feel you're doing well. I hate for people to die embarrassed.
They get set to begin again. Then suddenly --
CUT TO:
FEZZIK,
as he jumps forward with stunning speed for anyone his size and reaches for the Man In Black who drops to his knees, spins loose, and slips between the Giant's legs.
FEZZIK
You're quick.
MAN IN BLACK
And a good thing too.
FEZZIK
(getting set for another onslaught)
Why do you wear a mask? Were you burned by acid, or something like that?
MAN IN BLACK
Oh no. It's just that they're terribly comfortable. I think everyone will be wearing them in the future.
FEZZIK considers this a moment, then attacks, and if he moved quickly last time, this time he is blinding and as the Man In Black slips down to avoid the charge, FEZZIK moves right with him, only instead of twisting free and jumping to his feet, this time the Man In Black jumps for FEZZIK's back and in a moment he is riding him, and his arms have FEZZIK's throat, locked across FEZZIK's windpipe, one in front, one behind. The Man In Black begins to squeeze. Tighter.
FEZZIK
(standing, talking as he does so)
I just figured out why you give me so much trouble.
CUT TO:
FEZZIK,
as he charges toward a huge rock that lines the path, and just as he reaches it he spins his giant body so that the entire weight of the charge is taken by the Man In Black.
CUT TO:
THE MAN IN BLACK.
And the power of the charge is terrible, the pain enormous, but he clings to his grip at FEZZIK's windpipe.
MAN IN BLACK
(his arms never leave FEZZIK's throat)
Why is that, do you think?
FEZZIK
(his voice just beginning to get a little strained)
Well, I haven't fought just one person for so long. I've been specializing in groups. Battling gangs for local charities, that kind of thing.
CUT TO:
ANOTHER HUGE ROCK ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE PATH.
Again FEZZIK charges, slower this time, but still a charge, and again he spins and creams the Man In Black against the rough boulder.
CUT TO:
THE MAN IN BLACK.
And the punishment is terrible, and for a moment it seems as if he is going to let go of FEZZIK's windpipe and crumble, but he doesn't, he holds on.
MAN IN BLACK
Why should that make such a difference?
FEZZIK
Well ...
(And now his voice is definitely growing weaker)
... you see, you use different moves when you're fighting half a dozen people than when you only have to be worried about one.
Again FEZZIK slams the Man In Black against a boulder, only this time his power has diminished and FEZZIK starts to slowly collapse.
CUT TO:
FEZZIK.
And there isn't much breath coming.
CUT TO:
THE MAN IN BLACK,
holding his grip as FEZZIK tries to stand, halfway makes it, but there is no air. Back to his knees he falls, holds there for a moment, and pitches down to all fours. The Man In Black increases the pressure. FEZZIK tries to crawl. But there is just no air. No air. FEZZIK goes to earth and lies still.
CUT TO:
FEZZIK,
as the Man In Black turns him over, puts his ear to FEZZIK's heart. It beats. The Man In Black stands.
MAN IN BLACK
I don't envy you the headache you will have when you awake. But, in the meantime, rest well ... and dream of large women.
And he nimbly scoops up his sword with his foot, catches it and as he dashes off up along the mountain path --
CUT TO:
PRINCE HUMPERDINCK,
as he slips his boot into a foot print in the sand.
Count Rugen mounted, watches. Behind him, half a dozen armed WARRIORS, also mounted. A GREAT WHITE HORSE waits riderless in front. Humperdinck is all over the rocky ground, and maybe he isn't the best hunter in the world. Then again, maybe he is. Because, as he begins to put his feet into strange positions, we realize that what he is doing is miming the fencers.
HUMPERDINCK
There was a mighty duel -- it ranged all over. They were both masters.
RUGEN
Who won? How did it end?
HUMPERDINCK
(looking down in the position where Inigo fell unconscious)
The loser ran off alone.
(points in the direction Vizzini and FEZZIK took)
The winner followed those footprints toward Guilder!
RUGEN
Shall we track them both?
HUMPERDINCK
The loser is nothing. -- Only the Princess matters --
(to the armed warriors)
-- clearly this was all planned by warriors of Guilder. We must be ready for whatever lies ahead.
RUGEN
Could this be a trap?
HUMPERDINCK
(vaulting onto his horse)
I always think everything could be a trap -- Which is why I'm still alive.
And he gallops off --
CUT TO:
THE MAN IN BLACK,
cresting the peak of the mountain.
CUT TO:
CLOSE-UP ON
a knife pointed at a throat -- PULL BACK TO REVEAL Vizzini munching on an apple, holding the knife to Buttercup's throat. She is blindfolded.
A PICNIC SPREAD is laid out. A tablecloth, two goblets and between them, a small leather wine container. And some cheese and a couple of apples. The picnic is set on a lovely spot, high on the edge of a mountain path with a view all the way back to the sea.
The Man In Black comes running around the path, sees Vizzini, slows. The two men study each other. Then --
VIZZINI
So, it is down to you. And it is down to me.
The Man In Black nods and comes nearer --
VIZZINI
If you wish her dead, by all means keep moving forward.
And he pushes his long knife harder against Buttercup's unprotected throat.
MAN IN BLACK
Let me explain-
VIZZINI
-- there's nothing to explain. You're trying to kidnap what I've rightfully stolen.
MAN IN BLACK
Perhaps an arrangement can be reached.
VIZZINI
There will be no arrangement --
(deliberate)
-- and you're killing her!
CUT TO:
BUTTERCUP'S THROAT,
as Vizzini jabs with his long knife. Buttercup gasps against the pain.
CUT TO:
THE MAN IN BLACK,
stopping fast.
MAN IN BLACK
But if there can be no arrangement, then we are at an impasse.
VIZZINI
I'm afraid so -- I can't compete with you physically. And you're no match for my brains.
MAN IN BLACK
You're that smart?
VIZZINI
Let me put it this way: have you ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates?
MAN IN BLACK
Yes.
VIZZINI
Morons.
MAN IN BLACK
Really? In that case, I challenge you to a battle of wits.
VIZZINI
For the Princess?
The Man In Black nods.
VIZZINI
To the death?
Another nod.
VIZZINI
I accept.
MAN IN BLACK
Good. Then pour the wine.
As Vizzini fills the goblets with the dark red liquid, the Man In Black pulls a small packet from his clothing, handing it to Fizzini.
MAN IN BLACK
Inhale this, but do not touch.
VIZZINI
(doing it)
I smell nothing.
MAN IN BLACK
(taking the packet back)
What you do not smell is called iocane powder. It is odorless, tasteless, dissolves instantly in liquid, and is among the more deadlier poisons known to man.
VIZZINI
Hmm.
CUT TO:
VIZZINI,
watching excitedly as the Man In Black takes the goblets, turns his back. A moment later, he turns again, faces Vizzini, drops the iocane packet. It is now empty.
The Man In Black rotates the goblets in a little shell game maneuver then puts one glass in front of Vizzini, the other in front of himself.
MAN IN BLACK
All right: where is the poison? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both drink, and find out who is right and who is dead.
VIZZINI
But it's so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of you. Are you the sort of man who would put the poison into his own goblet, or his enemy's?
He studies the Man In Black now.
VIZZINI
Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I'm not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool; you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
MAN IN BLACK
(And now there's a trace of nervousness beginning)
You've made your decision then7
VIZZINI
Not remotely. Because iocane comes from Australia, as everyone knows. And Australia is entirely peopled with criminals. And criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me. So I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you.
MAN IN BLACK
Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.
VIZZINI
Wait till I get going! Where was I?
MAN IN BLACK
Australia.
VIZZINI
Yes -- Australia, and you must have suspected I would have known the powder's origin, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
MAN IN BLACK
(very nervous)
You're just stalling now.
VIZZINI
(cackling)
You'd like to think that, wouldn't you?
(stares at the Man in Black)
You've beaten my giant, which means you're exceptionally strong. So, you could have put the poison in your own goblet, trusting on your strength to save you. So I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But, you've also bested my Spaniard which means you must have studied. And in studying, you must have learned that man is mortal so you would have put the poison as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.
As Vizzini's pleasure has been growing throughout, the Man In Black's has been fast disappearing.
MAN IN BLACK
You're trying to trick me into giving away something -- it won't work --
VIZZINI
(triumphant)
It has worked -- you've given everything away -- I know where the poison is.
MAN IN BLACK
(fool's courage)
Then make your choice.
VIZZINI
I will. And I choose --
And suddenly he stops, points at something behind the Man In Black.
VIZZINI
-- what in the world can that be?
CUT TO:
THE MAN IN BLACK,
turning around, looking.
MAN IN BLACK
What? Where? I don't see anything.
CUT TO:
VIZZINI,
busily switching the goblets while the Man In Black has his head turned.
VIZZINI
Oh, well, I-I could have sworn I saw something. No matter.
The Man In Black turns to face him again. Vizzini starts to laugh.
MAN IN BLACK
What's so funny?
VIZZINI
I'll tell you in a minute. First, let's drink -- me from my glass, and you from yours.
And he picks up his goblet. The Man In Black picks up the one in front of him. As they both start to drink, Vizzini hesitates a moment.
Then, allowing the Man In Black to drink first, he swallows his wine.
MAN IN BLACK
You guessed wrong.
VIZZINI
(roaring with laughter)
You only think I guessed wrong --
(louder now)
-- that's what's so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned. You fool.
CUT TO:
THE MAN IN BLACK.
There's nothing he can say. He just sits there.
CUT TO:
VIZZINI,
watching him.
VIZZINI
You fell victim to one of the classic blunders. The most famous is "Never get involved in a land war in Asia." But only slightly less well known is this: "Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line."
He laughs and roars and cackles and whoops and is in all ways quite cheery until he falls over dead.
CUT TO:
THE MAN IN BLACK,
stepping past the corpse, taking the blindfold and bindings off Buttercup, who notices Vizzini lying dead.
The Man In Black pulls her to her feet.
BUTTERCUP
Who are you?
MAN IN BLACK
I am no one to be trifled with, that is all you ever need know.
He starts to lead her off the mountain path into untraveled terrain.
BUTTERCUP
(a final glance back toward Vizzini)
To think -- all that time it was your cup that was poisoned.
MAN IN BLACK
They were both poisoned. I spent the last few years building up an immunity to iocane powder.
And with that, he takes off, dragging her behind him.
CUT TO:
A MOUNTAIN PATH
It's where FEZZIK fought the Man in Black. CAMERA PULLS BACK TO REVEAL the Prince, kneeling, inspecting every grain of misplaced sand. The others wait behind bim.
HUMPERDINCK
Someone has beaten a giant!
(roaring)
There will be great suffering in Guilder if she dies.
He leaps onto his horse and they charge off.
CUT TO:
A WILD STRETCH OF TERRAIN
The Man In Black comes running into view, still dragging Buttercup, who sometimes stumbles, but he keeps forcing her along. Finally, when she is close to exhaustion, he lets go of her.
MAN IN BLACK
(his voice harsh now, carrying the promise of violence)
Catch your breath.
BUTTERCUP
If you'll release me ... whatever you ask for ransom ... you'll get it, I promise you...
MAN IN BLACK
And what is that worth, the promise of a woman? You're very funny, Highness.
BUTTERCUP
I was giving you a chance. No matter where you take me ... there's no greater hunter than Prince Humperdinck. He could track a falcon on a cloudy day. He can find you
.
MAN IN BLACK
You think your dearest love will save you?
BUTTERCUP
I never said he was my dearest love. And yes, he will save me. That I know.
MAN IN BLACK
You admit to me you do not love your fiance?
BUTTERCUP
He knows I do not love him.
MAN IN BLACK
"Are not capable of love" is what you mean.
BUTTERCUP
I have loved more deeply than a killer like yourself could ever dream.
And the Man In Black cocks back a fist. Buttercup flinches, but does not retreat.
MAN IN BLACK
That was a warning, Highness. The next time, my hand flies on its own. For where I come from, there are penalties when a woman lies.
CUT TO:
VIZZINI'S BODY.
The picnic is spread as before.
CAMERA PULLS BACK TO REVEAL the Prince kneeling by the body as the others ride up. The Prince grabs the empty poison packet, hands it to Rugen, after first sniffing it himself.
HUMPERDINCK
Iocane. I'd bet my life on it.
(gestures to the trail ahead)
And there are the Princess's footprints. She is alive ... or was, an hour ago. If she is otherwise when I find her, I shall be very put out.
And as he vaults onto his horse and the all charge off --
CUT TO:
BUTTERCUP,
being spun INTO CAMERA view, falling heavily as the Man In Black releases her. We are at the edge of an almost sheer ravine. The drop is sharp and severe. Below, the ravine floor is flat, but getting there would not be half the fun.
MAN IN BLACK
Rest, Highness.
BUTTERCUP
(stares at him)
I know who you are -- your cruelty reveals everything.
The Man In Black says nothing.
BUTTERCUP
You're the Dread Pirate Roberts; admit it.
MAN IN BLACK
With pride. What can I do for you?
BUTTERCUP
You can die slowly cut into a thousand pieces.
MAN IN BLACK
Hardly complimentary, Your Highness. Why loose your venom on me?
CLOSE UP - BUTTERCUP, quietly now.
BUTTERCUP
You killed my love.
CUT TO:
THE MAN IN BLACK
watching her closely.
MAN IN BLACK
It's possible; I kill a lot of people. Who was this love of yours? Another Prince, like this one, ugly, rich, and scabby?
BUTTERCUP
No. A farm boy. Poor. Poor and perfect, with eyes like the sea after a storm.
CUT TO:
BUTTERCUP.
And probably, if she did not hate Roberts so, there would be tears.
BUTTERCUP
On the high seas, your ship attacked, and the Dread Pirate Roberts never takes prisoners.
MAN IN BLACK
(explaining as a teacher might)
I can't afford to make exceptions. Once word leaks out that a pirate has gone soft, people begin to disobey you, and then it's nothing but work, work, work, all the time.
BUTTERCUP
You mock my pain.
MAN IN BLACK
Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something. I remember this farm boy of yours, I think. This would be, what, five years ago?
Buttercup nods.
MAN IN BLACK
Does it bother you to hear?
BUTTERCUP
Nothing you can say will upset me.
MAN IN BLACK
He died well, that should please you. No bribe attempts or blubbering. He simply said, "Please. Please, I need to live." It was the "please" that caught my memory. I asked him what was so important for him. "True love," he replied. And then he spoke of a girl of surpassing beauty and faithfulness. I can only assume he meant you. You should bless me for destroying him before he found out what you really are.
BUTTERCUP
And what am I?
MAN IN BLACK
Faithfulness he talked of, madam. Your enduring faithfulness. Now, tell me truly. When you found out he was gone, did you get engaged to your prince that same hour, or did you wait a whole week out of respect for the dead?
BUTTERCUP
You mocked me once, never do it again -- I died that day!
The Man In Black is about to reply as they stand there on the edge of the sheer ravine. But then something catches his attention and as he stares at it briefly,
CUT TO:
HIS P.O.V.:
The dust cloud caused by Humperdinck's HORSES is rising up into the sky.
CUT TO:
BUTTERCUP,
and while his attention is on the dust cloud, rising high, she pushes him with all the strength she has.
BUTTERCUP
You can die too, for all I care!!
CUT TO:
THE MAN IN BLACK,
teetering on the ravine edge, for a moment, then he begins to fall. Down goes the Man In Black. Down, down, rolling, spinning, crashing always down toward the flat rock floor of the ravine.
CUT TO:
BUTTERCUP,
staring transfixed at what she has wrought.
There is a long pause. She stands there, alone, as from far below the words come to ber, drifting on the wind --
MAN IN BLACK
... as ... you ... wish...
BUTTERCUP
Oh, my sweet Westley; what have I done?
And without a second thought or consideration of the dangers, she starts into the ravine. A moment later, she too is falling, spinning and twisting, crashing and torn, cartwheeling down toward what is left of her beloved.
CUT TO:
THE DUST CLOUD,
rising.
PULL BACK TO REVEAL
Prince Humperdinck and the others reining in at the spot where Buttercup promised ransom in exchange for her freedom. The Prince shakes his head.
HUMPERDINCK
Disappeared. He must have seen us closing in, which might account for his panicking in error. Unless I'm wrong, and I am never wrong, they are headed dead into the fire swamp.
CUT TO:
COUNT RUGEN.
The mere mention of the Fire Swamp makes him pale.
CUT TO:
THE RAVINE FLOOR
TWO BODIES lie a few feet apart, not moving. It is, of course, Buttercup and Westley. They might be corpses. After a time, Westley slowly forces his body into motion and as he does,
CUT TO:
BUTTERCUP,
bruised and torn, as Westley crawls slowly toward her.
WESTLEY
Can you move at all?
BUTTERCUP
(weakly stretching out an arm toward him)
Move? You're alive. If you want, I can fly.
WESTLEY
I told you, "I would always come for you." Why didn't you wait for me?
BUTTERCUP
Well ... you were dead.
WESTLEY
Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while.
BUTTERCUP
I will never doubt again.
WESTLEY
There will never be a need.
And now, they begin to kiss; it's a tender kiss, tender and loving and gentle and --
THE KID
(off-screen)
Oh no. No, please.
CUT TO:
THE KID's BEDROOM
GRANDFATHER
What is it? What's the matter?
THE KID
They're kissing again, do we have to hear the kissing part?
GRANDFATHER
Someday, you may not mind so much.
THE KID
Skip on to the Fire Swamp -- that sounded good.
GRANDFATHER
Oh. You're sick, I'll humor you.
(he picks up the book again)
So now, where were we here? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ah. Oh. Okay. Westley and Buttercup raced along the ravine floor.
CUT TO:
WESTLEY AND BUTTERCUP
racing along the ravine floor. Westley glances up.
CUT TO:
HUMPERDINCK AND HIS MEN
perched on top of the cliff, looking down at Westley and Buttercup.
CUT TO:
WESTLEY.
WESTLEY
Ha. Your pig fiance is too late. A few more steps and we'll be safe in the Fire Swamp.
CUT TO:
BUTTERCUP,
and Westley has tried to say it with Chevalier-like nonchalance, but she ain't buying.
BUTTERCUP
We'll never survive.
WESTLEY
Nonsense -- you're only saying that because no one ever has.
As they race off, leaving Humperdinck and his men stranded, defeated.
CUT TO:
THE FIRE SWAMP
And it really doesn't look any worse than any other moist, sulphurous, infernal horror you might run across. Great trees block the sun.
CUT TO:
WESTLEY AND BUTTERCUP.
Buttercup is clearly panicked and maybe Westley is too, but he moves jauntily along, sword in hand.
WESTLEY
It's not that bad. I'm not saying I'd like to build a summer home here, but the trees are actually quite lovely.
THE GIANT TREES, thick and black-green, look ominous as hell and they shield all but intermittent stripes of sun.
A GIANT SPURT OF FLAME leaps up, preceded by a slight popping sound, and this particular spurt of flame misses Westley, but Buttercup is suddenly onfire; at least the lower half of her is and --
CUT TO:
WESTLEY,
instantly forcing Buttercup to sit, gathering her flaming hem in his hands, doing his best to suffocate the fire. This isn't all that easy and it causes him a bit of grief, but he does his best to sound as jaunty as before.
WESTLEY
Well now, that was an adventure.
He examines where the flames burst over her.
WESTLEY
Singed a bit, were you?
BUTTERCUP
(She wasn't and she shakes her head "no")
You?
He was, and he shakes his head "no." As he pulls her to her feet --
CUT TO:
THE SWAMP FLOOR
-- and as there's another popping sound,
CUT TO:
WESTLEY GRABBING BUTTERCUP,
pulling her aside to safety as another great spun of flame suddenly shoots up.
WESTLEY
Well, one thing I will say. The Fire Swamp certainly does keep you on your toes.
Buttercup is frozen with fear. He takes her hand, gently kads herforzvard as we-
CUT TO:
The two of them
moving slowly along through a particularly dangerous part of the Fire Swamp.
It's later now, the sun slants down at a slightly different angle.
WESTLEY
(happily)
This will all soon be but a happy memory because Roberts' ship "Revenge" is anchored at the far end. And I, as you know, am Roberts.
BUTTERCUP
But how is that possible, since he's been marauding twenty years and you only left me five years ago?
WESTLEY
I myself am often surprised at life's little quirks.
There is again a popping sound, then a huge spurt of flame. Westley simply picks up Buttercup as they walk along, moves her out of danger, puts her back down, goes right on talking without missing a beat.
WESTLEY
You see, what I told you before about saying "please" was true. It intrigued Roberts, as did my descriptions of your beauty.
CUT TO:
SOME HIDEOUS VINES --
they look like they could be flesh eating. Westley takes his sword, slices a path for them to follow. The vines groan as they fall. He's been chatting away the entire time.
WESTLEY
Finally, Roberts decided something. He said, "All right, Westley, I've never had a valet. You can try it for tonight. I'll most likely kill you in the morning." Three years he said that. "Good night, Westley. Good work. Sleep well. I'll most likely kill you in the morning." It was a fine time for me. I was learning to fence, to fight, anything anyone would teach me. And Roberts and I eventually became friends. And then it happened.
BUTTERCUP
What? -- go on --
Westley picks her up, carrying her across some swamp water that is bridged by a narrow, rickety tree branch.
WESTLEY
Well, Roberts had grown so rich, he wanted to retire. So he took me to his cabin and told me his secret. "I am not the Dread Pirate Roberts," he said. "My name is Ryan. I inherited this ship from the previous Dread Pirate Roberts, just as you will inherit it from me. The man I inherited it from was not the real Dread Pirate Roberts, either. His name was Cummerbund. The real Roberts has bee
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