In (dis)honor of Crash, I present this reverse chronological summary, as of February 8, of Defamer's awesome Crash coverage:
Februrary 8:
"Six Oscar nominations (and a clever in-store display that hisses racial epithets at nearby shoppers) trick unwitting consumers into a Crash DVD purchase, causing video sales of the movie to jump 150%."
February 6:
"The WGA gives its top screenwriting awards to Crash and Brokeback Mountain, for original and adapted screenplays, respectively. Paul Haggis tearfully dedicates the award to “all the carjackers I’ve known, or know, or will be blessed enough to come to know.†Then, kissing his index finger and pointing it to the back of the room, he concluded, “This one’s for you guys.â€Â"
January 31:
Link to the Nightmare Oscar Nods:
http://www.defamer.com/hollywood/oscars ... 151894.php
January 23:
In a post referring to President Bush's statement that he had not seen Brokeback Mtn....
"No one should be surprised, really, that instead of using the moment to deliver a history-making pronouncement validating the love between gay Americans, the President chose to plead ignorance. But while many pundits would explain this away as merely an astute political maneuver, sources tell us it has more to do with the fact that Bush doesn’t want to hurt his favorite movie’s Oscar chances by endorsing another film. So taken was the President with Crash’s depiction of an America torn apart by racial strife, he has reportedly been championing the Crash bill, which will provide tax incentives to those citizens willing to bridge the color divide by bravely ramming their vehicles into oncoming traffic."
January 19:
"The PGA’s recent producing-credit purge leaves producers Bob Yari, Don Cheadle, and co-writer Bobby Moresco in danger of Oscar podium exile should Crash win best picture. Of course, should Crash win best picture, we should all probably put aside such selfish considerations and be more concerned about the apocalyptic deluge of flaming snakes that will end life on Earth as we know it. "
January 12:
"When does a movie’s award campaign cease to come off like a transparent attempt to buy some prizes, and start feeling like the grassroots beginning of a new, celebrity-courting, pseudoreligious cult? How about when the studio behind it decides to send out 130,000 screeners–yes, you read correctly–including one to every single mind-malleable member of SAG. Welcome to the birth of Crashology. Hide your children.
While most studios consider the mailing of 12,000-15,000 screeners to be a major push, the indie distrib is sending out north of 130,000  including the unprecedented move of including all members of the Screen Actors GuildScreen Actors Guild and the Writers Guild. […]
Quote:
Lionsgate Theatrical Films president Tom Ortenberg said the “Crash†campaign will cost several hundred thousand dollars. […]
“Crash†has been gaining awards heat, with writer-director Paul Haggis picking up a number of major noms, and the film itself picking up a SAG ensemble nom last week.
Lionsgate had sent DVD screeners to the 2,100 members of the SAG nominating committee. After the film picked up the ensemble-cast nom last week, Lionsgate decided to mail a copy to every member.
While sending out enough Crash screeners to keep the entire population of Evansville, IN. in “why you can’t trust a Mexican locksmith†Sandra Bullock monologues for the rest of their lives might at first seem like overkill, it’s really a small gesture when looking at the bigger picture of what a couple big trophy scores could do for the Movement. It won’t be long before intake centers start popping up across the globe, helpfully duct-taping their interviewees’ hands to the steering wheel of a Chevy Impala before placing a cinderblock on the accelerator, in order to precisely determine just how many Racismetans need to be cleansed from their new convert’s soul."
January 10:
"Not satisfied merely to report who won what irrelevant critics award and what they were wearing when they collected the prize, Reuters is quickly becoming the go to newswire for half-baked Oscar prognostications. Consider their analysis of last night’s Broadcast Film Critics’ Choice Awards:
Quote:
Gay cowboy movie “Brokeback Mountain,†the favorite in the Oscars race, roped in three Critics’ Choice Awards on Monday, while darkhorse “Crash†showed unexpected strength  a sign perhaps of the fight to come.
The nation’s broadcast film critics voted “Brokeback†its best picture at its 11th annual Critics’ Choice Awards and also named the film’s creator, Taiwanese-born Ang Lee, as the year’s best director. Michelle Williams, who plays an emotionally ignored wife in the movie, tied for best supporting actress with Amy Adams of “Junebug.â€Â
But “Crash,†a tale of endemic racism in America, took two major awards, an indication that this may be the film that could challenge Ang Lee’s drama of forbidden love between two married men on the road to the March 5 Oscars.
There you have it: Oscar night will amount to a death match between the gay-lovers and the racist-haters, says Reuters, with GLAAD and friends cheering on bloody murder from the left side of the Kodak theater as the NAACP coalition returns the threats from the right, with only a thin human chain of bruised, bloody seat fillers strung along the center aisle keeping the two factions from tearing each other apart."
January 5:
"DGA members, fearing the wrath of Guild deity Steven Spielberg, nominate him for their best director award, causing the Maestro to drop his preemptive plans to throw together a highly personal film about his tragic snubbing by his contemporaries. Others getting the nod include George Clooney for the black-and-white one, Ang Lee for the gay cowboy one, Bennett Miller for the one nobody saw, and, sigh, Paul Haggis for Crash. "
January 4:
"Since the upsetting announcement earlier today that Crash was recognized in the Writers Guild nominations for best original screenplay, we’ve been driving around the city with our car windows rolled up, weeping openly and looking to induce an accident just so we could finally connect with another Angeleno. (Preferably with a motorist of a different race to test our unfair preconceptions of minority groups.) Amazingly, we were unable to form a fender-bending union with a fellow searcher, but now the good news: A reader with WGA membership offers a possible, comforting explanation for Crash’s recognition by fellow scribes:
Quote:
Crash and Cinderella Man were the only DVDs sent to WGA members during the nomination process  and they were both nominated! Coincidence? I think not. Most studios ignore the WGA or send (boo!) copies of the screenplay.
I’m pretty sure we got a DVD of Mean Girls last year, just in case that nomination has been keeping you up at night.
If this indeed explains the result, kudos to Lionsgate for realizing that spending money on some DVD screeners was a wise use of awards season promotional dollars. Equipping the standard screenplay with a small electronic chip that would shout various racial epithets at any Guild member who opened the cover, while effectively mimicking the subtlety of the words within, would probably have been considered a cheap stunt."
January 4:
"The Producers Guild goes indie/specialty with its best film awards nominations, rounding up Brokeback, Capote, Crash, Good Night, and Good Luck, and Walk the Line. Did any of them actually see Crash? Really now?"
December 12:
"The Broadcast Film Critics Association drag things out by releasing their nominations only (seriously guys, can we just cut to the chase?); Brokeback leads with eight, giving further indication that the awards often referred to as the Gay Superbowl could become the Really Gay Superbowl come March. Crash comes in second with six nominations (sample Paul Haggis acceptance speech: “Thank you, carjackers, without you I’d never have the courage to play out my White Guilt all over America’s movie theaters.â€Â)"
November 29:
"The ArcLight hosts a screening of Crash and post-show Q & A with writer/director Paul Haggis. Watch in amazement as what at first seems like an innocuous meeting with an intense, blue-eyed man in the concession line ripples throughout the storyline of your evening, culminating in the heavy-handed master’s climactic answer-session anecdote about your shared moment by the popcorn!"
August 30:
"Million Dollar Baby and Crash scribe Paul Haggis’s heavy-handed gifts are sought out by Sony/MGM, who’ve signed him on for a rewrite of the James Bond pic Casino Royale. Can’t wait for his version of that iconic line, “Bond. James Bond. James, like the king, and B-O-N-Dâ€â€oh, shall I just write it down for you?†"
May 23:
"This Sunday’s NYT was a treasure trove of retarded Hollywood riches (hopefully, we’ll work our way through half of them in the course of the day). First up, a reporter draws the plum assignment of tailing screenwriter-with-fists-of-lead/director Paul Haggis and his macho buddies for “A Night Out With,†recording their night of partying “like a rock star,†i.e., mixing up pomegranate martinis, discussing cute eBay knickknacks, and retiring for a night cap of ice cream. Finally, after much slice-of-life scene-setting, the inevitable movie tie-in comes Crashing in, ten times subtler than anything in the film:
Quote:
The group sauntered along the narrow sidewalks. It was 10 p.m., and the leafy streets were as quiet as a monastery. Their voices sliced through the silence as they discussed the most macho of topics: boxing and Norman Mailer.
Mr. Langlais, who is black, said he had purposefully positioned himself in the middle of the five just in case someone in this mostly white neighborhood spotted him and called 911.
“Officer, we’ve never seen this man before in our lives,†Mr. Haggis responded.
Just to make sure the reporter got the point that Haggis and his pals were trying to make about racism in Los Angeles, they immediately carjacked a van driven by a Mexican, then spent the rest of the evening rear-ending vehicles driven by Korean immigrants with limited command of English, whom Haggis dismissively insisted on calling “Chinamen.†Their memorable “A Night Out With†will be available as a special feature on the Crash DVD."
May 23:
On Crash's Box Office:
"4. Crashâ€â€$5.5 million
Before we plunked down our $4.50 (thank God for matinees!), we thought racism was totally cool. But after two hours of being bludgeoned by Paul Haggis’ movie, we realized that racism is totally wack! Racism: Don’t do it!"
May 13:
Predicting Crash's Box Office:
5. Crashâ€â€$6 million
Paul Haggis has spent the last two weeks circling some of LA’s most blighted neighborhoods in a very expensive sports car, hoping that another carjacker will deliver him the material for a possible sequel.
There you go. I also highly recommend any Tom Cruise and/or Dakota Fanning coverage.
