Wow....whod'a thunk it???
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Which is funny, since the original Halloween has absolutely zero uses of the word.

You know, I've been thinking. I talked to my writing partner, who gave me a lot of shit over my B- rating. He thinks it's a major F. I stand by my mark, but...

A lot of this comes down to my feeling for the original. So much of my enjoyment here was just in seeing and hearing things I love. Judith listening to Don't Fear the Reaper. The Shape Stalks. Laurie's theme. Etc.

But, and makeshift put this perfectly, Zombie shot himself in the foot. He had the power to make either a really interesting, different Rob Zombie film, or a straight-up remake, and he probably could've done well with either. But instead, he forces the pieces together when they really don't fit and hurts everything. The first 45 minutes feel like little more than an extended prologue, and then suddenly we're back in Haddonfield following the same exact footsteps.

Zombie said he would never see a Halloween 9, let alone make one. But I think his H9 would be better than Rob Zombie's Halloween. If he was bound to some of the series'... classier elements... and was able to run with it for 90 minutes, I really think we would have had a very good sequel on our hands.

Instead, we have a mediocre (if not worse) remake.

Honestly... Who has cake and doesn't eat it, other than those freaks who don't like cake.

If I have cake, guess what, Im fucking eating it!

I hate to say it, but I was right all along. This is a complete and utter piece of garbage that should have never been made in the first place. I seriously considered walking out about five times during the first hour. The backstory section of the film was unbearably awful and so poorly written that I often found myself cringing. Based on that portion of the film, I would have easily given this an F without question. Thankfully, there is a bit of a resurgance in the final forty-five minutes - when it actually focuses on the story that fans of the franchise know and love. Unfortunately, because we've spent so much time getting to know the ridiculous, dispensible characters from Michael's past, we get next-to-no time with the characters who are actually important. This makes it nearly impossible to feel anything for them. They are so paper thin that it's almost ridiculous. Kristina Klebe gets a grand total of two big scenes, and you feel absolutely nothing for her character. Danielle Harris comes off as an unlikable bitch, and also only gets about three or four scenes. Scout Taylor-Compton gives the only somewhat decent performance in the entire cast, but even she - playing the pivotal character of Laurie Strode - isn't given much development either. It makes absolutely no sense that a character such as Michael's mother would actually get more screentime than one of the most famous characters in horror movie history. But she's decent at least, and isn't too annoying - even though she's basically playing an imitation of a role that Jamie Lee Curtis mastered so many years ago. The only scenes that aren't absolutely terrible involve her character. The final chase scene and parts of the climax are actually good and somewhat suspenseful, but aside from those moments the film is devoid of any suspense whatsoever. I basically hated everything about the direction and the screenplay. Rob Zombie should never write or direct another movie again, and I'm 100% serious. He's such a hack. The screenplay here is terrible and often quite laughable, and the visual style is a pain to look at. One would think that a moderately talented cast, featuring actors such as Malcolm McDowell, would be able to work through some of the dreck, but this is simply not true. As I've said before, every actor aside from Compton is terrible here. Anyways, in closing, as a horror movie, this is simply a terrible film, but as a remake of a classic that really ignited the slasher genre, it's an absolute abomination. Thanks, Rob Zombie, for destroying a classic. Stay away and rent the original instead.

I used to think I was a big horror fan, but I swear, some of the awful films of the genre that have been released recently are really making me rethink this standpoint. I miss good horror films and good slasher films I wish that they would make another movie like Scream, a film that was incredibly clever but also very scary. Hire an inept writer and director and craft characters you actually care about. And keep Rob Zombie far away from it.

I HATE THIS MOVIE.

D/D+

Also, to be totally fair and to provide a little counter balance to my scathing words last night...

There is some good stuff in the first 45 minutes of the movie (when it's at its most Zombie, if you will). A lot of the stuff at the sanitarium is quite good, and the Love Hurts montage is wonderfully warped. The movie really goes off the rails in the second half, when the struggle between Zombie's vision and the Halloween template becomes almost unbearable.

A

i can still hear the screams.

I can still hear the laughs. I've seen the film three times, and every time the ending is laughed off the screen.

The tail end with Laurie screaming hysterically has made my "5 most annoying moments of the month" list.

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About "Scream": I too hope that something revitalizing comes along, but I just don't want it to jumpstart some lame tounge-in-cheek subgenre again. I enjoyed the film itself, but I hated that mini horror era it created with a passion. The biggest corker is that I was that subgenres main target. It's the one I should like because I was a young teen at the teen. Nope, didn't matter...

It's not so much the movies that made me hate it (they were only part of it. ). It's the annoying people who tend to repeat words and phrases from the films daily. I just can't stand it.

"Scream" was a well-made film, but man oh man, do I have bad memories from that year. It has nothing to do with the movie either. Just the after effect of it.

I hate Rob Zombie. I know he had to reshoot it, but how could he possibly have thought that ending was effective? Did he just give up after the first couple of screenings?

On the bright side it was good to hear the main theme along with a couple of others again. Those were the only positives I took out of the film.

Cue the Scary Movie 5 joke of the camera hitting her in the head as it gets closer, or it breaking.

This film really is an editing nightmare. Finally got to see it. There are some good things and bad things. I'll focus on the bad first.

Bad
1. Its just so jumbled, he really should have picked one story to tell or made it longer.
2. The cripple father figure- Was TERRIBLE. Sorry Zombie fans, but that wasn't funny at all, I felt like I was watching a terrible version of Natural Born Killers. And being that's not the real father, how in the world would the mother date that guy. I can suspend belief, but that guy wasn't bringing in any money, he did nothing but make fun of everybody. The cursing and lowlifes were just laughably bad.
3. 2nd Half of the film was rushed, really it was all right, but Meyers just seriously would teleport to different places in 5 seconds. Carpenter was a master of terror. Zombie is a musician turned director.
4. Whats with every female thats attacked getting stabbed, then crawls. I'm not joking, every dude is killed in a flash, then every girl is stabbed, then crawls. The sister/ Female Cop/ Mother/ Linda/ and Annie. They all crawl. There was absolutely no originality at all.
5. Michael's backstory was boring and did nothing to the mythos. Why kill 20 people just to show your sister (How he even came to the conclusion is beyond me) and show her a photo. I was waiting for him to say "Happy Halloween Boo" again.
6. Dare I say the score was lacking completely. It's still great, but with Zombie's terrible editing, it feels out of place most of the time.
7 The Shaky Cam. I hate it, doesnt work at all in Halloween.

Its very frustrating thinking about all the plotholes as well.

What I found was all right.
1. Sanitarium scenes and Loomis. I found were good, but a complete missed opportunity. There was Loomis and them having fun, and consoling him. But there was none of the motivation Loomis had throught he first 6 films. He just feels he failed him. He's not Obi Wan. Where was the "I spend the next 7 years trying to lock him up, making sure he never got out" Here it was, he's evil, I can't do anything about it. I don't find McDowel was bad, he just obviously had nothing to work with.
2. Too many unanswered Questions at the end. Carpenter's ending was brilliant. The tumble at the end was just weird, and the bullet to the head doesnt reak of a sequel, so I'll give Zombie that. And did Loomis Die? He could have easily just been knocked out
3. The girls were all right, but really just looked more like they were spoofing slasher films from the 70s, as they were all stupid. If Laurie cried more when she was hiding I was going walk out.

What I found good.
-The stalking of the bully was good
-The quick killing of Mr. Strode was the best scare in the film. It was just fierce and quiet.
-Old Michael's Look. The one thing I'll say when Michael was in gear, apart from the lack of stalking, he was one of the best Michael's and the mask was awesome.
-The Best parts seemed to be the ones that were mimicking the original.
- The Deaths werent scary but I did find them pretty brutal, and I did look away once or twice.

Overall there was a good movie in here. If anyone asked me if this or Freddy Vs. Jason was better, I'd say FVJ for sure. I can't really rank this as a Halloween film, because its just so different in style and Michael's style of killing. I'd probably rate it above 3,5,6, and 8. But thats not saying much.

As a remake of the best horror film ever made, I give it a D+. On It's own Im more towards the C+/ B-. While it seems the bad stuff is more, there is a lot of interesting stuff in here that works. Zombie needs to not edit his films, lay off the cursing, and probably not write ever again. He had so many resources. He could have come up with a lot better stuff then this. I hope they just forget this film and go back to the basics.

Sorry for the long review.

I really hated this movie. Other than Laurie's stepmon, why did all the women have to get killed in a state of undress? I particularly found Kimmy Robertson's stab scene to be a bit pointless (no pun intended) as far as the nakedness went.

The clothes. Did anyone wonder about Michael escaping the sanitarium and walking a block and running into...another 7ft tall man? Besides basketball games, I have maybe saw 1-2 7ft men in my life. Seems a bit convenient.

So Michael, as a kid, tore up his floor, went down to the lumber yard, and repaired his floor with the mask inside? Sorry, but he didn't strike me as the Bob Villla type.

I also found myself YELLING at the scream when Laurie fell into the pool. She was trapped...except it's a mother fucking pool, ergo it has a SHALLOW end that you could walk out of. She could have done that before Michael came down the SHALLOW END, instead of trying to climb out of the deep end.

Anyway, solid D.

I watched the workprint version today, and I definitely think the theatrical version is better by quite a large margin. The Smiths Grove scenes were just awful in this version, thank god it was reshot. The rape scene was disgusting. Still, besides the Smiths Grove sequence, it was still great. I think I'd give the workprint something of a 8/10 (A-).

And to add onto that, how about the agony in which they are killed? Every woman that is stabbed in this film, dies a slow and painful death. With the exception of the bully, every guy who dies in this film has a somewhat quick death (I'm not including the guy who Michael pegs on the wall because that's straight from Carpenter's film). Ronnie's is the only somewhat prolonged death scene, but it's not very long. All of the women, except for Sheri Moon Zombie (I wonder why?) who are stabbed, it seemed, had to crawl somewhere with a huge trail of blood under them, in order to get away from Michael, just so they can get stabbed again. I'm not sure if Zombie meant anything by this, but it's odd to say the least.

****

(Rant that may not be coherent since it's early in the morning)

I began watching Carpenter's film last night, but I didn't finish it because I was tired, but I saw the first half of the film. Anyway, after watching that, it's now more evident how much of a missed opportunity it was for where Zombie took Michael. He chose the trailer-trash, "my family is fucked up and thus I'm crazy route", and took the film from there, which to his credit is not a bad idea, especially since this is a reimagining. And if he played up on the whole idea of having evil form because of it's upbringing, that would've been one thing. It still wouldn't have made a whole lot of sense because Ronnie is the only thing that's really wrong with things at the house. Yes his mom is a stripper, but I'm guessing there are some strippers who have children out there who are not entirely fucked up. I'm guessing he didn't realize what a mistake it was until he had to reshoot some things.

I think what he should've done, is what Carpenter did very subtlety in the first film. In the very first scene of the film where Michael kills his sister, there is absolutely no sign of anything being wrong at home. When his parents come home to find him with the knife, they're all dressed prim and proper, probably coming from a party. They look absolutely normal. What I think Zombie should've done, is instead of playing up the white trash aspect, he should've played up the normalcy of his home life. I think it would've been much scarier, if Michael had come from normal parents and normal surroundings, that would've made him that much scarier. I think Carpenter let's us assume that in the original, but I think Zombie could've expanded on it, and possibly have made the back story even better. He didn't.

4. Whats with every female thats attacked getting stabbed, then crawls. I'm not joking, every dude is killed in a flash, then every girl is stabbed, then crawls. The sister/ Female Cop/ Mother/ Linda/ and Annie. They all crawl. There was absolutely no originality at all.

Ha I had that exact same point as you. It was weird and stupid to say the least.

Awful. Walked out after 20 minutes, just way over the top language/sex, not my thing.

Well here's a classic case of seeing a film with rock bottom expectations and coming out of it completely understanding why people would hate it, but feeling rather nonplussed. I think Rob Zombie can capably shoot certain scenes, but he falters at actually putting together a cohesive two hour film. Beyond multiple lapses in logic, it's really clear the guy missed the point of what Halloween was. But the film is much more repetitive than actually painful, not something I'd ever want to see again but I was engrossed throughout.

A lot of people wondered this same thing. Rob's reasoning was the Carpenter already did that, so there was no reason to repeat it.

Not saying if I agree... or don't... But, that was the reason given. Zombie's Emo/lower-class motif really doesn't fit the Myers character, but it certainly turned heads.

Actually, change that. I would have stayed loyal to the character, followed the skeleton of what Carpenter established, but not do an all-out remake. I would have done something like DOTD '04. Keep the basic outline, but follow nothing else.

I will say one thing for Rob: The man is able to create such a commotion over his films. I haven't seen so much love/hate directed at a film in a very long time. He's able to target pure anger in people. In reality, he'll just be making more films, and getting richer and richer.

I'd love to see Rob Zombie remake something like "Star Wars" or "The Shawshank Redemption." The complete mental breakdown in people would be worth seeing when the film hit theaters.

Halloween was the Star Wars of horror movies.

I havent seen more then maybe one or 2 people that "love" the film so its certainly not really turning heads that way. Its more of a consensus than anything.

Yes, and out of spite, I want him to continue working on other films. If one of my films was touched, I want ones in other genres touched now too! I could care less about "Star Wars," so I want those tainted now -- basically, I want Zombie to come in and finish what the prequels started. lol.

Like I said, out of spite...

If my fun is over, well out goes everyone elses!

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Gun,

That's not true. There are tons of people (hundreds to thousands) on Rob Zombie's myspace who love the film.

It's pretty mixed actually. "Hate it" pretty much constitutes 50%. "Average to great" constitutes the other 50%. Just because only two people here love it doesn't mean everyone online hates it. That's not true at all... I've seen more than two people who like, or love the film. There's many on the Halloween/Zombie sites alone. That's way more than two. The film also had decent exit scores theatrically, from the mainstream, believe it or not... Nowhere near as bad as one might think. Face facts: most people in real life aren't as attached to this series as internet dwellers tend to be -- but that goes for most films. They went to see the film for a fun night out. Nothing more...

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It is true that Rob Zombie is able to bring out anger in people that I barely see when it comes to movies. Here's hoping he makes some more films so it happens again.

I was a little mad at first too, but then I thought about it... If many putrid sequels didn't ruin the first film, I don't see how this remake (which was actually better than about half of the putrid sequels) will? After Psycho '98, we should know better. It's just not happening. Everybody just needs to cool out and let the film fizzle out on its own. If the film ends up with a following, too bad so sad... Times change... Things change... People change... You can't have your way with everything. Deal with it, and worry about the things that really matter in life. No movie is worth having a heart attack over. I imagine this was the same thing people were going through after Lugosi was first replaced as Dracula.

Furthermore, no one ever got this bent out of shape when Michael was broken out of prison and joined a cult -- consequently, impregnating his neice and having his own son with her. That's far more ludicrous and over-the-top than this latest Emo Myers incarnation. Just like Cult Myers, Emo Myers will flutter away into the night. It's only a matter of time... Then the next film will hit, and people can start complaining all over again with the same verbatim comments and opinions we've heard about 10,000 times in the last 20 years. That's just the way the ball bounces.

Now, let's bring on the "Friday the 13th" project and let the bitchfest begin. I'm actually looking forward to see the direction this one goes in after the recent "Halloween" outlash.