They dumb reptiles yo! With space ships and guns. But still reptiles.

"My dad said they’d come. Said it my whole life. He said one day we’d find them, or they’d find us. Know what else he said? He said, I hope I aint around when that day comes.""

http://www.vulture.com/2012/05/read-eve ... eship.html

Third movie I (almost) walk out of. ever. the sinking of the last alien ship sequence is the only thing that keeps this from a huge F.

The first 45 minutes really drag, and then it's non-stop explosions. But it's not like Transformers. There's no likable characters (except Brooklyn Decker, of course). It's not funny. And Battleships aren't as cool as fighting robots.

What character is likable in Transformers? Certainly not John Tuturro, the small jive talking robots, Ken Jeong, Anthony Anderson, John Malkovich, the parents in the latter two films, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley or Megan Fox (fuckable does not equal likable), or Rainn Wilson. These are all characters that are hateable to an extreme.

Some characters are tolerable like Josh Duhamel, Tyrese, Francis McDormand, and maybe Shia LeBeouf.

Maybe the only likable character is Bumblebee. Optimus is infallible and therefore not likable. The other robots are interchangeable pieces of clanging metal.

Everyone in Transformers is more likable than anyone in Battleship. Except maybe Megan Fox.

The key difference between Peter Berg and Michael Bay is that Peter Berg knows he's making a piece of shit and just has fun with it, filling the entire thing on steroids and stupidity. And there's one key difference between Battleship and the last two Transformers. Battleship isn't boring.

**½ (C+)

Time pass film at home...

Seeing the battleships and aliens duke it out is actually quite a lot fun.

Especially the WW2 ship taking out the Alien Ship.

It's fun

B-

Battleship

Well that was a complete bore of tacky shit. It's an exercise, much like Transformers: Dark of the Moon was, in CGI overkill. Peter Berg doesn't understand that you cannot just throw a bunch of explosions at an idea and it will become likeable. The movie is not only tacky, but it defies logic and physics. I was constantly rolling my eyes at the terrible dialogue and sequence of events.

All of the characters are bad. If Taylor Kitsch and Rhianna had those attitudes in the real Navy, they wouldn't last a day. They're really horrible in their roles too. I was really glad when Neeson said "no" at the end, but then he collapsed and invited him to dinner. Lame.

There were 3 ships in that force field area, two of them were killed within minutes, but Taylor Kitsch's ship managed to take out all of the other ones. Come on! If it was so easy for the alien ships to take out two human ships within minutes, why would Kitsch's survive so long? It was laughable. Then they started to play a game of real life Battleship, which induced even more eye rolling from me. To top it off, they get the oldies to man the U.S.S. Missouri. I was hysterical with laughter. Complete shit.

Don't even get me started on the paraplegic retard that could single-handedly beat one of the aliens. LMFAO. If they're that easy to beat, why not just enlist a bunch of UFC fighters to win the war and ... "save the world", which was the most cringeworthy line in movie history. Who says that? How about some modesty...because he didn't actually save the world, he just saved Hawaii.

The film started off with about 30 minutes that weren't needed too, and some of the comments early on were completely unneeded and racist; I counted twice that the Chinese were blaimed for the attack, and once that the Koreans were blamed. It's a truly ugly patriotic event flick, but I did get a laugh out of the unintentional dig at the USA; at the beginning when playing football (which they played using all of the wrong terms), the Japanese won and the announcer stated "it's Japan 2, USA 0". I chuckled to myself as this is a film about ships and Pearl Harbor was attacked by the Japs (being 1), then they won the football game (being 2).

The film was too long, obviously, and I'm not surprised it underperformed financially. It just wasn't enjoyable for a second. The story was really lame. I get that they are battle ships, and they are stuck in this force field, so they have to fight...why? If they didn't fight, they wouldn't have been attacked. I believe that Kitsch drew first blood, which makes him the biggest douche of a character ever. He single handedly fucked up everything. I did like the destruction of Hong Kong, though, but it wasn't enough to even make a scratch on the rolling, destructing ball that is my hatred for this film.

This film idea was made for the 1990s. It's devoid of every aspect that makes a film enjoyable, and CGI effects overdrive is such an ugly trait with movies nowadays. There were actually some enjoyable parts to the film, but in total they made up about 1% of the film.

F

Oh, I rememberd another scene from this whilst walking around the mall earlier. So, the two ships have been bombed to shit by the aliens, and only then does Kitsch get concerned; "I have a bad feeling about this" he utters. No shit Kitsch, you douchebag. He carries on, "the kind of feeling that we need a new planet" - one of the worst lines in blockbuster history. Seriously, this films' script was awful.

I resent the claim earlier on in this thread that Kitsch needs a new agent. I think his agent is getting him the best gigs of his career. Kitsch is DTV or television level, not blockbuster Summer movie worthy, so he's lucky to star in Battleship.

Now I feel bad for enjoying this movie.

Lol, don't. It's decent throwaway entertainment.

Enjoy what you enjoy, man. Don't feel bad about it.

I wasn't serious. I enjoy lots and lots of 'bad' movies, always have, always will.

You enjoy it because it's bad? I could never do that.

You're missing out on something.

I don't generally take a dump then hesitate before pulling the flush just to enjoy the smell. If that works for you, then have fun. But I'm not the weird one here.

No, I meant that I like many movies which don't enjoy the best reputation out there. I consider them good/great, most of the world doesn't. I don't love watching movies I hate.

None of you ever watched a bad movie with a group of friends and lots of beer?

With the intent to ridicule it? I can understand doing that, but to simply like a movie because it's bad seems odd. If you like a movie, surely it's because you think it's good. I guess some people are more concious of a film's reputation than others.

Very bad movies are funny. A very bad movie is often funnier than a mediocre comedy.

I've yet to find one.

Soulkeeper

Man, I've never even heard of it.