KJ Average Grade: F

That's an all time worst. =D>

So.....MovieDude

Do you think we should give Mr. Boll another chance with BloodRayne? I feel sorry for him for all the trashing he gets on the net

Well, but AT THE VERY LEAST, BloodRayne has Kingsley and Madsen, so there is probably SOMETHING redeeming about it.

Kingsley is becoming Uwe Boll's Bela Lugosi and he is heading towards the same path

I was using Bela Lugosi as career wise not acting wise. Remember the movie Ed Wood when he used Bela Lugosi who hasnt worked in years for his movies. I meant to use Ben Kingsley comparison to Lugosi in the downward spiral path

Bad is not the word to describe Alone in the Dark. A more appropriate word would be somewhere along the lines of “terrible”, “abomination”, “disgraceful”, “disastrous”, and many others. It's the type of movie that puts a bad taste in your mouth as you leave the theater. It's the type of movie that makes you look at your wallet and feel shameful of ever paying for it. I didn't even pay for it, thanks to AMC's wonderful free tickets, and I still felt ripped off. In the year 2005, Uwe Boll releases one of the worst movies ever created.

The disaster named Alone in the Dark has a very idiotic premise to support it. Edward Carnby, played by the second rate actor, Christian Slater, is a “detective of the paranormal”. Basically, he dedicates his life to finding weird things going on. Kind of like The Twilight Zone or the X-Files, but somehow, Ed can do back flips and kung fu moves. He begins to investigate a mystery of all his childhood friends from a boarding school disappearing one night. This is somehow tied to an ancient culture, the Absanki, which plans to somehow take over the world. Someone, please, call the Academy Awards and tell them that they have this year's Best Picture nominee waiting to be discovered. Oh, and Ed also has a brilliant ex-girlfriend who works in a museum, who gets into this when he boss discovers a “key” to open up the world of the Absanki. The girlfriend is played by Tara Reid, and what a match she makes with her character. Tara Reid plays a “brilliant” anthropologist. Come on, Uwe Boll. At least make the person you're using for this role believable of being a “genius”.

In technicalities, Alone in the Dark fails every category. Acting is a department you can't expect anything good, but you can't expect anything this bad either. It was just terrible. You can take four first graders away from their coloring books, put them in these roles, and have a better outcome. The story is also an abomination. It's completely absurd how much people get paid to write stories like these. If they continue writing things like this, we may be seeing the end of Hollywood. Alone in the Dark basically had one big department that it had to shine in just to get a little recognition, or at least a higher grade, and that was it's special effects. It's what the movie is about. Special effects. How are you going to make an action movie, based on an action/horror video game, without special effects? Look at Alone in the Dark, and you'll see that. The effects are so poor; it's remarkable where the $20 million budget went. It couldn't have gone to these second-rate stars. The “creatures” are so sloppy, you might begin to wonder if Uwe Boll put some ecstasy in the team's coffees as they were designing the movie out.

Overall, Alone in the Dark is a big mess. After House of the Dead was a total disaster in 2003, you would think Boll would have learned from his mistakes. Sometimes, that might be asking too much. In the distant future, my only hope is that Uwe Boll will have retired, so that our children will not suffer.

Well, but AT THE VERY LEAST, BloodRayne has Kingsley and Madsen, so there is probably SOMETHING redeeming about it.

I know theres alot of hate for Uwe Boll and in my review I try my best to remain objective since in fact I actually feel sorry for the guy because of all the criticism he got. By the way, when I saw the movie there were only 10 people inside the movie theater. I tried my best to remain objective but I cant help but to give this movie a really really poor grade. Forget that it was even directed by Uwe Boll, the movie was just bad in every level. Its almost as though Im watching someone else play a video game and not myself getting involved in it. Basically the premise is that Christian Slater witnessed things that bump in the night but there was no explanation at all why the supernatural things come to be. I especially hated when Stephen Dorff kept referring to something that happened in the past to Christian Slater which I have no idea whats going on because the director expected us to know the story behind Alone in the Dark before hand. Tara Reid's role as a scientist is as convincing as a stripper playing the role of a cop. I really tried my best to find something redeeming about the movie but I was both bored out of my mind with it. The CGI monsters were bad and there barely was anything gory about the movie that could of saved it. Im sorry man but Im giving the movie an F. Its even worse than Starship Troppers 2

Im very proud of this movie. The first scene starts out with Christian Slater in a taxi cab, bad guys chasing him and then BOOM. There tis big guy who attacks him and Slater kicks his ass. That how you start a scene. Tara Reid, Stephen Dorff and Christian Slater give very underated performances. You can even feel the tension between Dorff's and Slater's character that they dont get along. I may say the creatures in Alone in the Dark are amazing looking. My I mean the movie looks as good as Starship Troopers, heck we even borrowed the uniforms from Starship Troopers. It looks like every had fun in the movie with a big loud soundtrack to boost.
A+

Mr. Boll, can I call you Boll? Hey Boll.

Uh, whatsupwithdat, yo?

C'mon how are we supposed to believe Tara Reid is a scientist.

OK!!.....im about to see this movie.... wish me luck :razz: