Fantastic Bore

I can only imagine the look of horror on the faces of the cast and crew of Fantastic Four when they watched The Incredibles last fall. Pixar's film was a warm and friendly homage to the famed family of superheroes. It's not inconceivable to think that had the producers of Fantastic Four seen a rough cut of The Incredibles early enough, maybe they would have called the whole thing off. Fantastic Four isn't a horrible film, it definitely has its moments. But when your neighborhood is inhabited by the likes of Spider-Man 2, Batman Begins, and The Incredibles, no matter how fast and loud your sports car is, it's still just a Honda parked next to a Ferrari.

The success of comic book films often lies with the director. It's takes a certain type of talent to be to transfer the written exploits of superheroes onto film. It's not an easy task and the cinematic graveyard is littered with the headstones of directors unable or unwilling to meet the challenge. And with Fantastic Four, Tim Story the director of Barbershop is woefully out of his league. Parts of the film play like hyper stylized commercials. Others, like bad sitcoms. I expected at any moment for Johnny Storm aka The Human Torch (Chris Evans) to turn towards the camera and sell me Gatorade. Speaking of The Human Torch, the other players in this foursome aren't entirely without charm. The Thing (Michael Chiklis), The Invisible Girl (Jessica Alba), and Mr. Fantastic (Ioan Gruffudd) are all okay and likable. If there's anything that works in the film, it's the interaction between The Thing and The Human Torch. Too bad their relationship is shortchanged in order to give more time to the wholly unbelievable romance between The Invisible Girl and Mr. Fantastic.

Fantastic Four plays really loose and carefree with continuity. You never really buy into the universe because the rules change from scene to scene. One minute The Thing is too heavy to ride an elevator. The next, he isn't. The Human Torch is able to reach supernova temperatures. That's right, the temperature of the sun. What a fantastic ending to a potential film franchise that would be. Our hero, in an attempt to foil the evil Dr. Doom (Julian McMahon) goes supernova and destroys the planet. Now that's creative filmmaking. But no, somehow his energy is contained. And all is well. Except for the collateral damage that is. And the impending military response.

Truth is, there are too many good films in theaters right now to recommend Fantastic Four. Sure, there are some laughs to be found, almost exclusively thanks to Chris Evans. And it does revel in its own goofiness. But when a summer superhero film can't deliver an interesting story or at the very least, exciting special effects, what's the point?

D+

BKB I'm really glad you enjoyed the movie. I went in hoping to escape for just a couple of hours on a rainy summer day. I just kept scratching my head throughout the entire movie though.

And there's nothing wrong with analyzing a movie by any means. It was too cheesy for me to enjoy at all.

How can they let this stuff be put on any screen. Seriously I was very close to asking for my money back. The effects looked like they were from the late 80s, the space scene was absolutley atrocious. I felt nothing for the characters the entire movie. I didn't care about whether or not they were able to get back to their normal selves. The movie is definitley one of the cheesiest I've ever seen. Yeah sure, any guy can go to the X-Games and start to ride a bike. [-( So many bad one-liners they were hard to count. Doom is just as boring as the rest of the movie. There is nothing redeming about this movie. Save your $10 and go see Batman Begins again. This script should've never seen the light of day.

D+

P.S. There actually is one thing good about this movie. Jessica Alba in her bra and panties.

How can you give a film a near perfect rating when you think it's boring?