Ok.

So here is a question for you all. You can only pick one option, so pick one and explain why.

The question regards love and is rather simple.


You are married to a man/woman.

Would you rather be married to someone who you love with all your heart, but who despite being faithful, kind, and caring for you greatly, does not love you back and has in a sense settled for you. OR. Would you rather be married to someone who loves you with all their heart but you despite being faithful, kinda and caring for them greatly, you simply do not love with all your heart, and you have in a sense settled for them.

??

define "settle"

The latter as, even if I didn't love them, it'd make me personally feel better about myself since I'd know I was loved...

What if you love someone with all your heart, but he only thinks he has settled for you? And then he meets another woman whom he loves with all his heart? He will de-settle real fast, and leave you for her. He doesn't even have to leave you physically, he only has to leave "mentally" for it to hurt like hell.

There is no such thing as "settled."

In short, my answer is: neither. I'd rather stay single.

Would you rather be married to someone who you love with all your heart, but who despite being faithful, kind, and caring for you greatly, does not love you back and has in a sense settled for you.

----

The above one because I would rather be in love than not and I would not like it in my mind that I settled.

Also, I think the options are too close because they are being f, k, and c but just without l.

if a person feels they have "settled" then they will consistenly be looking for a way out.

Speaking as someone who has been married for 22 years:

There is a bit of "settlement" in every relationship. It is impossible to love someone so completely that you never find a single fault with them, and if so, you are deluding yourself. All relationships require give and take, compromises and agreements.

If the question however is whether I would rather be in a loveless marriage than single, then my answer would be I would rather be single. Fortunately, I am not in a loveless marriage!

But his exmaple implied one person was settlign and the other wasn't, if one person really feels like they are slumming in marrying the other person I don't see it lasting.

If you feel like the person you are with is lucky that you agreed to be with them, it would be hard not to hold that over their heads everytime they did something you did not like.

Compromise and agreemnts, and the stuff of healthy relationships does look like the kind of settling Eagle is implying.

In the above relationships the settling and compromising are prone to be very one sided, and that spells trouble.

I think peopel over idealize love, in that they think its either complete and or non-existent..when rally its somewhere in between.

Is neither an option? :razz:

I agree that you cant really ever find someone that is 100% perfect (for you) but...

If I'm with someone I don't love, even if they love me 100% back...if I married them I'm guessing there is some kind of lov there, even if its just love that appreciates what a great person they are or something like it. But I still don't think I could be happy, I'd always be wondering "what if" I had gone on with my life, if maybe there's someone out there still for me and I can't imagine really being happy.

On the other hand with the first scenerio, while I guess there would be some kind of happyness from having someone I love with me. But

1) It'd be selfish and I'd probably feel guilty for "making them" (even if I'm not) stay with me knowing they don't love me, and knowing they are probably not quite happy with the situation. I am making someone i "love" miserable, basically.

2. Not to mention what it would do to my self esteem. Not being able to get that person I love to love me back, and always knowing it. Wondering what I'd do wrong. I'd go insane.

So realistically, I can't really choose either one. I don't believe in being with someone when there is no love.

If I absolute have to choose, I'd rather be with someone who loves me back. At least someone is happy. Even if it's not me (Though I doubt either one of us would be...)

Hmmmmmm this is a goody.....and a toughy.

I'd rather have the women love me with all ehr heart, yet, i've settled for her. But hopefully it wont come to that extreme..... :???:

Lets see, do I wanna be selfish(being loved and having settled) or do I wanna be kind(being settled for and love)

Umm... I wanna be loved!

" i wanna be loved by you...dopeddy do do po do...." Great song!