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Michael.
No Wire Tampons!
Joined: Sat Jan 08, 2005 12:27 am Posts: 23283
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 Helpful Suggestions for surviving a Nuke
Well, i was just thinking...... What would happen if William Baldwin starred in a sitcom that also featured Rosanne Barr in regular cameo appearances as his sister, who brings her Llamma and ferrell child to stay over whilst he deals with the troubles of his romance-less life, and finds himself increasingly attracted to said sister?
Well, Nuclear Fallout, of course.
But what handy tips should we follow to survive such a calamity, or at least gain something from it?
I really dont trust those Andorrans.....
1. "Friends" will probobly be repeated again, so when you hear an explosion, flick on your record button for the Tivo before you run from your home in a panic. EMPS are over-rated.
2. Always grab those handy cards on the pouch behind the seat infront of you if your in a plane nearby a nuclear explosion. Because lets all face it, when your plane plummets from the sky, you simply use the cards as mini-parachutes for your children.
3. Grab some poultry, or fish. Eat whilst you evacuate, and white meat is healthy, FATTY.
4. Stop, Drop, Roll, Be Incinerated. Repeat as many times as you can.
5. Sacrifice yourself for the good of others. Phone ABC right away and tell them to move the cast of "Desperate Housewives" as far away from the blast as possible. Then promptly die like Linda Hamilton out of Terminator 2, knowing youve done your part for humanity, and god will reward you in the afterlife.
6. Make a giant bowl of Gello and jump inside. It may get a little warm, but your sure it will be fine.
7. Pray to Tom Hanks for salvation.
8. Go on WorldofKJ and tell people about the cool flash you just were blinded by outside. Pretend you can read the cynical comments that follow and chuckle to yourself. Oops your dead.
9. Curse yourself for not living in Canada.
10. Click your shoes together 3 times and hope for the best.
_________________ I'm out.
Last edited by Michael. on Sat Feb 05, 2005 10:56 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Sat Feb 05, 2005 10:48 pm |
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Dr. Lecter
You must have big rats
Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2004 4:28 pm Posts: 92093 Location: Bonn, Germany
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Move into an igloo with Rusty and Mr. X
_________________The greatest thing on earth is to love and to be loved in return!
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Sat Feb 05, 2005 10:50 pm |
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Michael.
No Wire Tampons!
Joined: Sat Jan 08, 2005 12:27 am Posts: 23283
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Will Rachel McAdams be there too?
_________________ I'm out.
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Sat Feb 05, 2005 10:58 pm |
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Dr. Lecter
You must have big rats
Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2004 4:28 pm Posts: 92093 Location: Bonn, Germany
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No, but Orlando Bloom
_________________The greatest thing on earth is to love and to be loved in return!
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Sat Feb 05, 2005 11:05 pm |
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Michael.
No Wire Tampons!
Joined: Sat Jan 08, 2005 12:27 am Posts: 23283
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Dr. Lecter wrote: No, but Orlando Bloom
Even Better! It will be like "Troy" except with Ice, and more gayness.
_________________ I'm out.
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Sat Feb 05, 2005 11:08 pm |
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Dr. Lecter
You must have big rats
Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2004 4:28 pm Posts: 92093 Location: Bonn, Germany
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Ice means it'll get cold, so we all will have to snuggle up with each other...
_________________The greatest thing on earth is to love and to be loved in return!
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Sat Feb 05, 2005 11:09 pm |
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Michael.
No Wire Tampons!
Joined: Sat Jan 08, 2005 12:27 am Posts: 23283
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Dr. Lecter wrote: Ice means it'll get cold, so we all will have to snuggle up with each other...
Dont get me excited so early in the evening Lecter. I need to ready myself with lotions.
_________________ I'm out.
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Sat Feb 05, 2005 11:12 pm |
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Dr. Lecter
You must have big rats
Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2004 4:28 pm Posts: 92093 Location: Bonn, Germany
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Michael wrote: Dr. Lecter wrote: Ice means it'll get cold, so we all will have to snuggle up with each other... Dont get me excited so early in the evening Lecter. I need to ready myself with lotions.
I can get Hugo Weaving and his brother to join 
_________________The greatest thing on earth is to love and to be loved in return!
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Sat Feb 05, 2005 11:21 pm |
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Michael.
No Wire Tampons!
Joined: Sat Jan 08, 2005 12:27 am Posts: 23283
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Dr. Lecter wrote: Michael wrote: Dr. Lecter wrote: Ice means it'll get cold, so we all will have to snuggle up with each other... Dont get me excited so early in the evening Lecter. I need to ready myself with lotions. I can get Hugo Weaving and his brother to join 
NO, THE MEMORY HAD JUST FADED AWAY
you are EVIL
_________________ I'm out.
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Sat Feb 05, 2005 11:27 pm |
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rusty
rustiphica
Joined: Mon Oct 11, 2004 7:59 pm Posts: 8687
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Michael wrote: Dr. Lecter wrote: Michael wrote: Dr. Lecter wrote: Ice means it'll get cold, so we all will have to snuggle up with each other... Dont get me excited so early in the evening Lecter. I need to ready myself with lotions. I can get Hugo Weaving and his brother to join  NO, THE MEMORY HAD JUST FADED AWAYyou are EVIL
But he's german so him being evil is understandable.
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Sun Feb 06, 2005 12:45 am |
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Michael.
No Wire Tampons!
Joined: Sat Jan 08, 2005 12:27 am Posts: 23283
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You dont know the MENTAL SCARRING i recieved from a certain picture of Hugo Weaving and his Brother....
*shudders*
_________________ I'm out.
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Sun Feb 06, 2005 12:34 pm |
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Algren
now we know
Joined: Tue Oct 19, 2004 9:31 pm Posts: 68222 Location: Seattle, WA
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In cases of real emergency you can always drown yourself.
_________________STOP UIGHUR GENOCIDE IN XINJIANG FIGHT FOR TAIWAN INDEPENDENCE FREE TIBET LIBERATE HONG KONG BOYCOTT MADE IN CHINA
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Sun Feb 06, 2005 12:39 pm |
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