The First Annual KJ Awards are upon us. It's the real first big event for our great community, and it should be a hell of a time. We have many great nominees and categories, and we all decide who's the best of the best in each category.

This is where The Z Files come in. As you all know, one of the categories is "Best Moderator". The nominees are bABA, dolcevita, lovemerox, torrino and myself, Zingy. But, as you go to submit your votes for this great and interesting category, you should know what you're getting yourself into. I mean, honestly, what do you really know about the mods of this site? The Z Files are the first on the case.

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bABA

bABA, bABA, bABA. The co-administrator of our forum. The guy who got us all here. What a guy. This guy really deserves your vote for Best Moderator... or does he? That's right. There's something you all don't know about bABA. bABA is really in the CIA. That's right, CIA. Why is here? What does he want with us? I'll tell you. First of all, the pictures that he has shown us... bull. Their not real. Just some random pakistani guy. I mean, did you really believe all that "I'm a Pakistani, and I live in Canada" nonsense? I hope not. Here is an actual picture of our good ol' admin, bABA.

bABA's real picture! Click here!

That bastard. He has his top agents viewing our site constantly. What does he want with us?! He wants you. He wants all of us. He's waiting for the moment one of us slip and admit it to the rest. He's waiting for someone to bad talk the CIA! He's waiting for someone to make fun of his haircut. Well, we're onto you bABA.

Think wisely about whether you want to vote for this creepy looking guy or not.


dolcevita

dolcevita is very loved here. I mean, why not? She's beautiful, smart, witty, and she actually gives us *real* pictures of herself. What more could you ask for? Well, dolcevita has a so-called "dark side" to her. She seems to be all into the whole indie and foreign films thing. That's all a cover up.

dolcevita's favorite movie:



Yeah, you didn't see that coming, did you. The Z Files were able to check all of her rental accounts with various movie stores, and came up with the following recently rented movies:

November 30
-Sleepover
-The Adventures of Pluto Nash
-Gigli
-Debbie Does Dallas
-Barb Wire

Yeah, odd. She's not the person you all think she is. Think about that before you vote for someone you don't know.



lovemerox

Good ol' friendly lovemerox. What a great guy, no? He brings a lot of cheer and love to the boards, and does a great job with modding. But, this isn't the Z Files for nothing. We took the liberty of listening into lovemerox's phone conversations. This is the following conversation we overheard between lovemerox and his friend.

Friend: How's that evil plan of yours going?
Lovemerox: Very good. The idiots at KJ actually think someone is messin' with my avatar. Fools!
Friend: That one you used of the naked chick... priceless!
Lovemerox: Yeah I know! I'm always conviently absent when these things happen. Whatupwiththat!? HAHAHAHA!

Yeah, it's all true. Here's another one.

Friend: Did the board hacking actually work?
Lovemerox: Oh hell yeah. When everyone was able to view the mods section. That was great! Everyone was all freaked out.
Friend: Yep, it's kinda stupid that they don't realize that you were *conviently there* at the time.
Lovemerox: Not my fault those idiots are so dumb. I'm gonna get best mod too. Even if I have to KILL every other nominee.

*gasp* Kill?! There's not reason for that lovemerox! Well, atleast not anymore. If you even try, bABA the CIA agent will be on you so fast, you'll go down to chinatown ya heard! Voters, beware.


torrino

This guy is interesting. He seems pretty normal. Aside from his smoking problem, he's a good guy. Good grades, good taste in movies, a fun guy. Possibly too fun? It took us a while to crack him. But we got it. Apparently, this man is a *STALKER*. That's right. Those damn online predators, and our own torrino, if that's his real name, is one of them. He knows my phone number, address, everything! How he got it, I have yet to figure out. But, it could be that his "mod" powers gave him access to IPs, which gave him access to locating every single one of us. So, when he asks for any of you to "meet him somewhere", bring the cops with you.

For now, think about this guy before actually voting for him.



Zingaling

Yup, that's me. I'm a good guy. I do my homework, get good grades, frequent movie watcher, very involved in community service, etc. That's all there is to tell about me! Now, honestly, would you actually vote for those guys up there or me? Think about it.



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Overview:

bABA = Creepy CIA Guy
dolcevita = lies about her taste in movies
Lovemerox = plans to hack the boards with a *grandmaster* plan eventually
torrino = Crazed internet predator out to rape you
Zingaling = the right choice for "Best Moderator"

So, when you go out and vote for Best Moderator, do the right thing. Vote Zingaling for Best Moderator. You won't regret it.

(I'm Zingaling, and I approved this, because I wrote it.)

Next Episode of The Z Files: "rusty for Best Overall Poster? The real story behind rusty and his hippie, nazi lovin' antics"


ZINGALING FOR BEST MODERATOR '04!

CIA Eh??? Reread your post in 5 minutes.

Don't change it you bastard! The people have a right to know!

lol!! this is great!!

nice one Zing

My work here is done.

Dude Zingy...if you're gonna spill fake dirt about my rental activities, than you may not want to include a movie I've really seen. :wink:

Geesh...you can't even fib properly. Pitty the fool who votes for such a mediocre myth-maker.

Anyone who wants the real scoop on Zingy, I would provide it if I were to stoop to his incredibly low standards.

On second thought...

bABA, you bastard! I changed it back. You ain't got nothin' on me, copper!

dolcevita, it had to be done. No matter how low it was. :wink:

tsk tsk ...

so you're into kinky habits like sticking helium baloons in butts..

Read this everyone.

Zingy, the CIA always wins!

And of course, you've seen Debbie Does Dallas! Thanks to the Z Files, we all know that!

Dave Chappelle?

I don't know, just felt like saying it.

And look at that everyone! He's editing my posts with false info! Do you want someone like that for best moderator?! I think not.

The comment was there to begin with..

as I mentioned, the CIA always wins.

Not this time, bABA. When Awards night comes around, you'll see that the CIA never prevails.

Moulder: bABA must die.
Scully: We have weird names.
Moulder: Yep.
Scully: CIA wins? Haha. I laugh in his ugly little face and cough on his bad haircut.
Moulder: Not very lady-like, eh?
Scully: Who said I was a lady?
Moulder: That's hot. Let's talk about this subject later.
Scully: Yes, back to important matters. What should we do about this torrino guy? I mean, as we speak about me being a man, he has probably raped 10 innocent school girls. We can't allow it.
Moulder: How did you cover up this whole you being a guy thing?! It's fantastic.
Scully: Only on... The Z Files.

*Former X-Files music hits*

Scully: I always hated that song.

I pretty much have to kill you know for letting everyone know my plan. Sorry thats just the way it is. :wink:

bABA, you damn CIA agent! Do your job!

lovemerox, as long as you don't get nominated, I am ready to die!

Lovemerox. Meet me behind the Shaker Building. Come alone. I have your favorite present there.

Awesome stuff Zing!

I'm there. Remember to bring the plans for the secret weapon invoving Zing, a pitching wedge and an eldery women

Do not listen to bABA in his wannabe thread. It's obviously a retaliation for what I have done, but it won't work. Once anyone says foul language, he's gonna ban them. You want proof?

arsibaba: I'm gonna ban everyone who says bad language.

There's your proof! Don't vote bABA! CIA = bad.

Zingaling kills kittens

Proof is here


ZIngaling-I kill Kittens

Lovemerox thats mean

What's this? An allience between bABA the dirty, smelly CIA guy and lovemerox, the man responsible for messing with our threads, and *killing* whoever speaks against him?! That means two things.

1. bABA knew about lovemerox messing with the boards, and he approved it. Infact, he gave lovemerox the power to do so.

2. bABA is a dirty CIA agent, but will still use his resources to get us

3. lovemerox likes to use elderly women for revenge

Sick bastards. SICK.

I saw it three years ago...nice try though.

*Stop the Presses! Hot News on Zingaling Revealed!*

This just received...a female World of KJ MOD broke into the CIA files ten minutes ago when another unnamed MOD was wasting time re-arranging messages on the internet. This woman was apparently not armed (Krem is hording all the guns), but very dangerous none-the-less. She has recruited the FBI and CIA agents TonyMontana has ordered to flag her for the last three months to assist her. How did she do it? Probably not with particularly extravagant language...since she tends to mistype any word more than one letter long, but regardless...she did.

After breaking into Zingy's personal file, she proceeded to scamper down the well lit stacks of the Pratt library and photocopy all the enclosed papers using her photocopycard and the rinky old copiers in the back room.

Finally, for fear of her life, and perhaps a *mild* moment of hesitation at revealing all of Zingy's deep dark secrets, she passed the papers off to an entourage World of KJ members who have recently been supported in their efforts of posting topless pics in the *World* photoalbum. These men have passed it over to our press desk facing the potential adversity of viruses associated with emailing. But finally, we have them, and the public must know...



Well there you have it folks. You heard it from here first, there is nothing special about Zingy, we are currently conducting an evening news poll on the suspicious attempts at another failed humor attempt pertaining to balloons and butts. Feel free to vote on our on-line poll, which will be about as accurate as the on-line polls leading into the 2004 General Election. But we'd love to hear from you anyways.

We now return to your regularly scheduled programming...

Once again stop lying. We all know your a habitual liar. You had an everlasting crush on baba...he turned you down .Stop being so sour