Open relationships are a crock of shit.

It just means fuck buddies. There is no relationship.

sigh.

what is a crock a of shit is that anybody feels like they have any authority to tell anybody else what will work for them or what accounts for an authentic relationship.

So young and idealistic! A relationship is not just built on all-consuming love. It is something that takes work and mutual investment from day one. Even with love, relationships can go wrong. If anything, the belief the deference towards love when there might be other pressing relationship issues is exactly why many relationships collapse. A healthy relationship will always require a lot of effort, and will not just fall from the sky and play out naturally until the end of time.

Oh, and Jeff, I know it was removed, but that biologically essentialist model you provided about spreading seed and protecting children is just wrong...in...so...many...ways. When was it formulated? In the late forties and fifties?

Mike, I'm sorry to say... but your engaged friends marriage is doomed to last less than 4 years.

Sorry.

I just threw out a short number.

Anything more than 5 would be unrealistic.

Oh, I see. That's true, maybe in marriages under heteronormative control structures. But this one's going to be a lovely Canadian certified gay marriage.

Peace,
Mike

Hmmm...The backstory

I was scheduled to leave Phoenix on Saturday night at 11PM but my flight was oversold. I had to sleep at the airport to catch my 7AM flight, which got me into Atlanta at 1PM. My flight home wasn't until 930 so I basically spent the entire day waiting around. I ran into a co-worker later that day (along with Ted Danson, weird). My co-worker and I waited for our flights, talking about life and playing his guitar at my gate.

A women overhears us talking and chimes in from the seat behind us. She's pretty and my co-worker starts to, for lack of a better word, work as my unsolicated agent (he doesn't know I have a serious girlfriend). He tells her I host a show for FOX, how much I travel, blah blah blah. Turns out, this girl travels a lot too, she's a recruiter for West Point. Stationed in Korea for a time, Iraq, she's a Captain. So my co-worker continues to flirt on my behalf (grabs my phone, types in her number, said we'd make a cute couple) and I don't know, I couldn't find the right time to segue into my dating life. This all transpires over a span of maybe 30 minutes. But they're airport minutes.

He leaves for his flight and she and I continue to talk. She eventually changes her seat so it would be easier to talk. She chats me up until seating is announced. We're in different rows, so I figure at best, I'd see her as we exited the plane. So I sit down and she sits down a few rows ahead of me. And before I know it, she's convinced the guy next to me to switch seats with her. But its cool because we're having a great conversation about Iraq and world travel and life.

So the flight is great, she's laughing, I'm laughing. I'm talking about upcoming trips, she playfully grabs my leg or arm when she's really laughing. But at what point am I supposed to drop the girlfriend bomb? Trust me, I looked for an opening. I feel like a complete creep.

So we deplane and she's in town until Friday and asking about things to do and places to go and yadda yadda. And I told her if she's bored to give me a call and I'll think of something for her and her co-workers to do.

I wake up this morning (my first night of sleep since Friday) and there are several text messages asking me to hang out.

That's where the story ends, I haven't texted back.

Update: She literally just called about 5 seconds ago.

The worst thing is when you have the conversation Loyal is about to have, you tell the girl that you have a girlfriend ... there is a pause for about a second and they respond "she doesn't have to know".

You think it's hard staying faithful normally, imagine that bull shit!

I swear, women don't play fair.

girls are awesome.

Idealistic inspite of the world. I think despite being treated badly by people and taking some real bullshit that im still romantic and waiting for the right person speaks volumes. It's not naivety like you are suggesting. I understand theres a spectrum of relationships and different people who love in different ways. But who's to say that the big weepy ideal of true love doesn't exist. And that im going to be a lucky one?

So young and idealistic! A relationship is not just built on all-consuming love. It is something that takes work and mutual investment from day one. Even with love, relationships can go wrong. If anything, the belief the deference towards love when there might be other pressing relationship issues is exactly why many relationships collapse. A healthy relationship will always require a lot of effort, and will not just fall from the sky and play out naturally until the end of time.

Oh, and Jeff, I know it was removed, but that biologically essentialist model you provided about spreading seed and protecting children is just wrong...in...so...many...ways. When was it formulated? In the late forties and fifties?

sigh.

what is a crock a of shit is that anybody feels like they have any authority to tell anybody else what will work for them or what accounts for an authentic relationship.

An open relationship is something I will probably never do because I realize that it is not something that will work for me, and telling myself otherwise would be a waste of my time and probably the other person's time. Just because it is something that would not work for me, though, doesn't make me feel as if I can tell the world that if they choose to try it out their relationship is somehow devoid of any meaning. Or that the two can't genuinely care for each other and be there for each other in similar ways that any other couple can...