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Chippy
KJ's Leading Pundit
Joined: Tue Oct 12, 2004 4:45 pm
Posts: 63026
Location: Tonight... YOU!
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 Collateral Beauty  Quote: Collateral Beauty is an upcoming 2016 American drama film directed by David Frankel and written by Allan Loeb. The film stars an ensemble cast of Will Smith, Kate Winslet, Keira Knightley, Helen Mirren, Edward Norton, Michael Peña and Naomie Harris. The film is scheduled to be released on December 16, 2016. _________________trixster wrote: shut the fuck up zwackerm, you're out of your fucking element trixster wrote: chippy is correct
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| Tue Nov 29, 2016 11:27 am |
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publicenemy#1
Extraordinary
Joined: Tue Oct 12, 2004 12:25 am
Posts: 18878
Location: San Diego
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Re: Collateral Beauty I could already tell this is gonna be a film a lot of people are gonna hate but I enjoyed it lol. If you're intrigued by the trailer I'd say there's a good chance you'll like it.
I will say there's a reveal at the end that I didn't expect, and when I thought about the scenes beforehand I was like "um... what".
I think the movie could've done more with its premise and there are certainly some problematic things about it but overall it was a "nice" movie to watch. The whole ensemble is good.
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| Tue Nov 29, 2016 6:53 pm |
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publicenemy#1
Extraordinary
Joined: Tue Oct 12, 2004 12:25 am
Posts: 18878
Location: San Diego
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Re: Collateral Beauty Idk if it's ridiculous on a rewatch but from seeing some TV spots I'm starting to find the reveal that Harris is actually Will Smith's ex-wife really silly as from what I remember the scenes with them earlier it kinda feels flimsy as it felt like they didn't know each other, or Smith's character is so deatched that Harris plays up that they are strangers meeting again. Idk
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| Sat Dec 10, 2016 6:55 am |
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Libs
Sbil
Joined: Tue Oct 12, 2004 3:38 pm
Posts: 48626
Location: Arlington, VA
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Re: Collateral Beauty What the fuck. No, seriously. What the fuck. How did this movie get made? How did this movie get made with the incredible cast that is assembled for it? How did any sane, competent human being actually read through this script and say, "Oh yeah, that'll work?" The mind truly boggles. Collateral Beauty (itself an exceedingly dumb title that is never explained in the movie other than to have a character keep repeating the words as if they make perfect sense) is one of the dumbest, most incomprehensible films I've ever seen theatrically. The "plot" is impossibly convoluted and ridiculously simplistic at the same time. I'm just going to summarize the movie in a spoiler box, because it is so ridiculous that it needs to be laid out sentence by sentence. MASSIVE SPOILERS, YOU ARE WARNED. Howard's daughter died three years ago. Howard's three co-workers/"friends" Whit, Claire and Simon are all distinguished by one character trait exclusive to them: Whit's daughter hates him, Claire is too busy to have a baby, and Simon has a persnickety cough that means he's dying.
At the same time, Howard has turned catatonic and his business partners are worried their advertising firm will fail. So they concoct the most harebrained, puzzling scheme in movie history. They hire three struggling, bohemian actors to personify Death, Time and Love to randomly show up during some of Howard's angry bike riding sessions (there are at least four or five of those) and babble nonsense about each of these concepts that sounds like it was taken from a fortune cookie. A crappy fortune cookie. Then their brilliant plan is to have Character Actress Ann Dowd follow Howard around while he's talking to these people, then show the footage to lawyers on their board with the actors digitally erased so Howard looks like a crazypants.
What the fuck? Are these people psychotic or just stupid? Gaslighting, everyone's fave intervention strategy!
Meanwhile, Howard is creepily lurking around a support group for parents who've lost their children run by the pretty Madeline, the aforementioned character who keeps talking about this mysterious collateral beauty all the time.
In the first of the movie's insanely stupid twists, it is revealed that Madeline is actually Howard's ex-wife, and Howard has been pretending he doesn't know her, or something. As a coping mechanism for their daughter's death, I guess? And for some other reason that doesn't make sense, Madeline has been playing along with this crazy charade the whole movie. ...What? ...Why? How does this help? Why is this happening? M. Night Shyamalan would reject this twist for being out too outlandish.
In the movie's closing seconds, perhaps the most idiotic cinematic moment of the year occurs. It's revealed that the old woman who spoke to Madeline in the hospital as her daughter lay dying about "looking for the collateral beauty omg!!!!" is...the actress hired to play Death, portrayed by one Dame Helen Mirren.
Then, in the present, Howard and Madeline stroll along Central Park, their problems magically healed out of nowhere apparently, while Death, Time and Love watch them from a bridge. Howard looks up and sees them. Then Madeline looks up and doesn't. WHICH MEANS THAT THESE ACTORS REALLY ARE DEATH, TIME AND LOVE.
What. The. Fuck.
So Howard's gaslighting loving friends all were able to see these three angels or whatever the hell they are because...they have problems with death, time and love? I guess? And the three struggling actors are actually angels who just happened to be sitting around waiting for someone to approach them with this plan? It literally will cause you a migraine to spend any time thinking about how any of this could be construed as clever, or words that were actually typed onto a screen and read by people. And that's not even getting into how insanely sappy, saccharine and manipulative this entire movie is. Manchester by the Sea and Jackie, both in release and rightfully earning award nominations, show shattering portrayals of grief. Collateral Beauty is the opposite. It is a failure in every possible way, although one that is so noteworthy for its shameful waste of its cast and insane story progression that I dare say it might become infamous in its flop status. F
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| Fri Dec 16, 2016 11:10 pm |
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Steve
Indiana Jones IV
Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2004 12:09 pm
Posts: 1796
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Re: Collateral Beauty Now I gotta see this.
_________________
how am I not myself?
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| Sat Dec 17, 2016 1:00 am |
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Dr. Lecter
You must have big rats
Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2004 4:28 pm
Posts: 92093
Location: Bonn, Germany
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Re: Collateral Beauty Libs wrote: What the fuck.
No, seriously.
What the fuck.
How did this movie get made? How did this movie get made with the incredible cast that is assembled for it? How did any sane, competent human being actually read through this script and say, "Oh yeah, that'll work?"
The mind truly boggles.
Pretty much what I said to my colleague about an hour into the film during the screening. _________________The greatest thing on earth is to love and to be loved in return!
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| Sat Dec 17, 2016 5:56 am |
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SolC9
Forum General
Joined: Fri Jun 24, 2005 11:11 pm
Posts: 7172
Location: Wisconsin
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Re: Collateral Beauty Huh. I actually liked it, and I heard several exiting moviegoers say similar. And it got an A- Cinemascore. I didn't expect the movie to be that polarizing.
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| Sat Dec 17, 2016 10:49 am |
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thompsoncory
Rachel McAdams Fan
Joined: Sat Oct 23, 2004 11:13 am
Posts: 14544
Location: LA / NYC
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Re: Collateral Beauty This movie is schmaltzy but it's not that bad and far from how awful the toxic reviews seem to suggest it is. It certainly doesn't get a lot of things right but it's well-intentioned and mostly well-acted. I don't think it's necessarily worth seeing in theaters but it's a harmless holiday watch that should play well on TV or something. B-
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| Mon Dec 19, 2016 5:10 pm |
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Magic Mike
Wallflower
Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2004 4:53 am
Posts: 34876
Location: Minnesota
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Re: Collateral Beauty
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| Wed Dec 21, 2016 5:05 am |
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Dr. Lecter
You must have big rats
Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2004 4:28 pm
Posts: 92093
Location: Bonn, Germany
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Re: Collateral Beauty Which of the numerous awful twists? _________________The greatest thing on earth is to love and to be loved in return!
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| Wed Dec 21, 2016 6:09 am |
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Libs
Sbil
Joined: Tue Oct 12, 2004 3:38 pm
Posts: 48626
Location: Arlington, VA
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Re: Collateral Beauty Dr. Lecter wrote: Which of the numerous awful twists? LOL, right. Which one? There are so many bad twists here. Perhaps the strangest twist is that multiple A-list actors signed onto an "uplifting" Christmas movie about gaslighting your friends.
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| Wed Dec 21, 2016 12:10 pm |
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Magic Mike
Wallflower
Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2004 4:53 am
Posts: 34876
Location: Minnesota
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Re: Collateral Beauty Well true. They told me the whole thing.
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| Thu Dec 22, 2016 2:48 am |
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zwackerm
Hold the door!
Joined: Sun Jun 01, 2014 10:26 pm
Posts: 20346
Location: Where they shot Knock at the Cabin
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Re: Collateral Beauty This movie is enjoyable. The actors are good. Yes it's very silly, but that adds to the charm.
B
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| Wed Jun 07, 2017 11:58 am |
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stuffp
Keeping it Light
Joined: Wed Apr 08, 2015 8:06 am
Posts: 11204
Location: Bright Falls
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Re: Collateral Beauty I didn't mind the film but it's not good, it's got a nice cast, although only Mirren was good, the rest feels like they're just mailing it in. It's an unfortunate film, I wanted to like it, but the story just never earns the engagement. Instead of endearing, it feels silly and half-hearted in its execution. Another missed attempt in Smith's recent career. For a film that's supposed to be all about emotion it just comes up too empty.
C-
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| Tue Dec 26, 2017 9:48 am |
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