The Transporter Refueled represents an almost astounding failure by producer Luc Besson to revive his mid-tier franchise without its iconic, bullet-headed star, Jason Statham, whose tenure as an old-fashioned action draw was set in motion by the original trilogy. He, of course, played an ace driver and martial artist employing strict rules regarding anonymity and punctuality to shield himself from the perilous underworld he navigates.

Replacing him was never going to be easy—his agility, grit, and magnetism made the role special more than the relatively standard-issue genre writing—but Game of Thrones actor Ed Skrein proves particularly deficient. It is simply an unconvincing attempt bearing zero resemblance to what came before, and no amount of fine tailoring or lingering male-model posturing can compensate for his vacancy and dearth of genuine charisma. He exudes posh and pouting petulance rather than masculine, world-hardened intensity and seems hesitant, soft, and overly rehearsed in the chase and fight sequences. The fact the action itself is flatly shot, devoid of suspense, and over-the-top without achieving even a single moment of fun, zany invention does not help.

On a superficial level, the plot of this prequel strongly recalls the incredible Mad Max: Fury Road, with the title pro being drawn into a group of prostitutes' elaborate plan to steal from and escape their cruel Eastern European pimp. (The brooding heavy, in one of several groan-worthy contrivances, is also a former military rival of the hero. It is a small world after all.) Any motion toward Fury Road-style empowerment is obliterated by a camera unable to stop ogling and objectifying the female characters, resulting in a film as lascivious and vulgar as its leering antagonist. And in a bald-faced lift from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, the Transporter is given a father with whom he frequently trades loving barbs. This character is played by hard-edged, salty British character actor Ray Stevenson, the only highly capable member of the central cast, but the domestic dynamic is corny and demystifying, and it becomes hilarious how often the father, reportedly a seasoned spy, is captured and endangered and otherwise utilized as a damsel-in-distress.

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Delightful, random bad-movie moment: during the climactic fight, one henchman receiving a beating shouts, "You jerk!" in subtitled French (or Russian, I forget).

There is a scene in this movie in which Frank Martin and his father perform impromptu surgery using...sugar and cobwebs to seal a gunshot wound.

And 10 minutes later the gunshot victim had a threesome with the father.

Ha ha. Right. The father is a bit creepy in general. Bit of a Roger-Moore-at-the-end-of-his-Bond-era vibe to his "suave womanizing."

Another gem of a moment: when one of the girls and the Transporter swap Three Musketeers quotes, and it cuts to this abridged young-adult copy of the novel in their hideout...which the (kidnapped) father immediately proceeds to start reading. There are so many tiny, self-contained moments of incredibly tone-deaf idiocy in this film. Its badness may prove a boon to the reputation of the prior entries, which honestly did decrease in quality as they went along. (In my opinion, the first is great, the second is decent, and the third is rather crap.)

Also, how about this - the movie is randomly set in 2010, though the phones are definitely more modern. Also, the leading actress not only does not look 15 years older than at the beginning of the film, I just checked and she was actually 21 when they shot the film. Why do you cast a 21 year old and then have you film jump 15 years?

At first, I thought it would be set in 1995, definitely, firmly positioning it as a prequel and allowing Besson to revisit a prime decade in his career. But then, yes, it arbitrarily cuts to...2010.

Also, I wonder what it is, but all these Euro actioners from Luc Besson look the same. Even those I like a lot, like From Paris with Love, Kiss of the Dragon or Taken - you can watch 5-10 minutes of each of those films and you immediately see Luc Besson's producer's stamp on them.

One of the two associate bad guys, that felt betrayed in the yacht scene, looked like a smashed face Harry Potter

This guy: https://www.google.com/search?q=lenn+kudrjawizki&safe=off&client=ms-android-att-us&prmd=imvn&source=lnms&sa=X&ved=0CAMQ_AUoAGoVChMI1uzUvuXixwIVxZMNCh3prw9c

This is the only quasi-cool action beat in the film: