PYRAMID

As soon as I realized this would be another handheld camera style film I got put right in an unhappy mood. As soon as I saw the opening titles mention how this was supposed to have been made during the Arab spring revolution, I just had to roll my eyes. This film is an embarrassment to actual theatrical releases. How the heck does this Sy Fy trash style picture suck up 500 screens. Whiplash had to make room for this trash? The actors should be embarrassed. I'd never promote this if I were involved. In this film, we have another dumbass woman wanting to get her way. She causes all these deaths for her own greed. The guy who played the cameraman better change his look because I don't know why anyone would want to hire this annoying man in another film. The visual effects were pretty bleh. I was slightly interested in the Annubis creation but they didn't want to make this a more mythological supernatural pic and instead went with some predictable trashy attempts at scares over and over. I was on the verge of just bursting out laughing a couple times but I'm to reserved to ruin other peoples movie going experience. This was truly a time waster. I've been very close to F this year but I think this just did enough to warrant it. This Sy Fy quality trash on theatre screens Embarassing!

Grade - F

An American archaeologist (character actor and American Horror Story alum Denis O'Hare) and his reportedly whip-smart daughter (a miscast Ashley Hinshaw) uncover a mysterious three-sided tomb in the Egyptian desert. As they plan to explore it, however, a wave of protests erupt in Egypt, and the Ministry of State for Antiquities cancels their dig. On their final day onsite, they decide to briefly go inside, but their curious jaunt rapidly transforms into a nightmare as they become lost and are set upon by forces both mysterious and violent. Along for the sinister journey are a blandly intrepid documentarian (Christa Nicola) and her comic-relief cameraman (James Buckley), and they symbolize the confusing and unusual aesthetic of The Pyramid: it is a found-footage film much of the time...except when it decides not to be and randomly switches to a more conventional, omniscient cinematic perspective. It plays then as a self-loathing cousin to the Paranormal Activity franchise and its descendents, reluctantly embracing the popular, if controversial format when poorly rendered F/X or chintzy production design must be obscured.

There are other flaws, too, including dialogue equal parts risible and wince-inducing. The conversational nadir may be when a piece of shouted life-or-death exposition is qualified with a halfhearted "if you will." The characters are thinly developed, of course, but also deeply unsympathetic. They exude artificiality and self-absorption and are always arguing. It becomes an active chore to be in their shrill presence. Sadly, this flop is the directorial debut of Grégory Levasseur, who wrote the memorably twisty (and twisted) High Tension and the much-sharper-than-expected 2006 update of The Hills Have Eyes. Those were both directed by the gifted Alexandre Aja, serving as a producer here. None of the macabre, stylish, ultra-violent showmanship these men displayed before is on display. The film feels small, yes, but not claustrophobic. There is a modest amount of blood and viscera, but nothing so gruesome as to be disturbing or memorable. The visuals are flat and often incomprehensible due to poor lighting. I admit, the creature-feature-style re-purposing of a certain iconic Egyptian god in the third act ever so briefly enlivens The Pyramid, but the charge is short-lived, and the film still finds a way to end on an abrupt, out-of-tune note.

D

Worst movie ever!

LOL this is ridiculously awful. I will be honest and say that I did not stay for the entire movie (there was around 20 minutes left when we left) but I can safely say that I've seen more than enough to give it a negative review. Annoying characters, awful acting, hysterically bad CGI and mutant cats. No.

F

This movie was bad, but atleast it was entertaining. The acting is awful and the characters are beyond unlikeable, but I liked the setting and the movie does have a few interesting tense sequences. Anubis looked like shit though and those cat creatures worked a lot better when they were mostly in the shadows. It's a timewaster at best.

This was awful. The last maybe 15 minutes are kind of entertaining but everything before it was dreadfully dull. The acting was pretty bad too.

3/10 ( D )