V/H/S, uniting several fresh and promising genre directors, is super uneven in the way anthology films so often are, but fantastic at its best. To cut to the chase:

The "main" storyline: C+ (A group of misfit thugs are hired to steal a videotape from an old man's isolated home, but the job proves far more complicated and dangerous than expected. The house is claustrophobic, and there are flashes of red hot intensity, but the ending is too abrupt and too much is left unexplained. It feels thinly conceived in the end.)

The first short: A (Three raucous youths hoping to film their own sex tape go to a bar to find women. They choose the wrong one. This is the best short. It builds in intensity perfectly, and it ends on a great, macabre note.)

The second short: C- (A couple's western vacation goes awry after a mysterious female requests a ride. This one is far too slow. Not slow burning tension, mind you. Just tedious. The ultimate destination, however brutal, does not justify the tepid trip.)

The third short: B- (A Friday the 13th type short concerning a day trip into a dangerous part of the forest, with a revenge twist. This one will please those in search of over-the-top and stylized violence and has a few moments of visual invention, but is otherwise unspectacular. This short has the most inept acting of the entire film. It's fun, though.)

The fourth short: B+ (A web-camera conversation between a medical student and his girlfriend, who is staying in a haunted apartment. She delivers a strong performance, and the twist ending is provocative.)

The fifth short: A- (Men who believe they are on their way to a Halloween celebration instead find themselves caught in a haunted house. This short's ending is predictable, but it is well constructed and features perhaps the most dramatic images, including a nice nod to Repulsion.)

B-

I had a lot of fun with it, though the festival audience certainly helped things.

Pretty much agreed with this except that I liked it a bit more overall than you did (I'd say a solid B) and I also preferred the final two segments to the rest. The second was the worst, though...and that coming from the best director, Ti West. Even more disappointing.

A few days later, I can confirm this is a rather forgettable movie.

I wish the wraparound story had a better ending. It is so creepy at first, and then it just falls apart.

Agreed about the main story. I really enjoyed it overall though. The first and last were my favorites. And even if a lot of it wasnt that scary, it was all (except for the miserable second one) entertaining to watch.

B

I actually love "found footage" style movies, but "V/H/S" has to be one of the most visually unpleasant ones I've seen. Probably the first time this style has bothered me. The stories themselves are nothing to write home about. The wrap-around story is pretty bad and has some incredibly obnoxious characters, as does the first story. Actually, there are several of them throughout the film.

I would break it down something like this.

Wrap-around story - D+
First story - B-
Second story - B-
Third story - B- (Pretty entertaining but ultimately stupid. The lead girl was bad.)
Fourth story - B+ (This was actually quite intriguing and the lead girl was very good.)
Fifth story - C-

Overall I'll go with a C+.

F

The two best shorts, imo, were: "Second Honeymoon" (2nd short) and "10/31/98" (5th short).

Everything else was a mish-mash of bad acting, annoying characters and ho-hum storylines. The only character I found likeable was the husband in "Second Honeymoon", also gave the best performance, easily. The wrap-around story started strong, but fell apart completely in the end. Maybe the unanswered questions get resolved in part 2, Idk - not interested in finding out.

I do admit that the chick that turned into a cat, or bat, or whatever the hell it was, was freaky.

I really tried to like this, but I just couldn't - I hated it.

V/H/S

Kind of interesting, but overall it's very hard to watch even minutes of badly filmed VHS outtakes on You've Been Framed!, let alone a whole 2 hours of bady filmed VHS action for a horror movie. Eventually it hurts the eyes. And the acting throughout is pretty mediocre.

Tape 56
So this was the worst part. It was obvious that the old guy sitting there was not dead and that he would disappear while the boy was watching one of the home videos. D+

Amateur Night
This was pretty cool, but got silly when the girl turned into the thing from Jeepers Creepers. Also badly filmed. I know, like all of these clips, that it is meant to make it seem more real, but it just annoyed me more than anything. C+

Second Honeymoon
This one was good. I kind of knew that the first time the camera got picked up at night that it wasn't going to be either one of the tenants of the hotel room. It was pretty scary, and sudden when he gets it in the neck. I would have preferred to have seen more from this clip the most, perhaps even being made into a full feature. Ti West showed his talent here. B-

Tuesday the 17th
I didn't like the flashy, dodgy, vhs tracking killer, but it was well-made and thought out pretty well. C+

The Sick Thing That Happened to Emily When She Was Younger
This was a little frightening. The concept was cool, and I was gripped, but there was no pay off. C+

10/31/98
This was the most frightening. The whole satanic sacrifice thing and then the haunting house, that sort of shit really freaks me out. They combined two of the things that make me crap myself. It was well made, but I didn't like the guys being taken into another dimension (or into the roof of the house), and then I didn't like it that she was some sort of possessed demon. I would have preferred it if she was fine, and the crazy Church-goers were the horror aspect; much more haunting, and real. B

It was clear to see that this was a male-directed collage of horror clips by the excessive nudity (not a complaint) and the male fantasy viewpoints. Although, there is a certain sense of women being the killers a lot, I noticed. Overall I feel V/H/S was a missed opportunity to really inter-connect these clips and have a sort of message (or at least one central theme). It lost itself in being a horror version of YouTube. I am, however, interested to see what they do with part 2.

Overall: C

You'll like V/H/S 2 more, I promise you that.

I'll be watching it very soon.