I have some sad news to report.
..........................................................
Burlesque is not great... it's just good.


But let's count our blessings, shall we?

Cher's two musical numbers are gangbuster's great - - though I woulda loved even just one more big finale song for her.

Christina Aguilera? She is the essence of hot cuteness. She's a living anime chick. She sings like the dickens and dances like the lickins'. But one thing's for sure, no one's going to mistake her for an actress anytime soon. Yow.

Plus, there's a bigger problem with the whole film. Burlesque never truly commits to it's story. If they had played the same script with amped out camp, it woulda rocked. As it stands, the neutered drama brings the whole damn thing down. What a shame - - because it has a few great musical sequences, including Christina's unamped debut. Others were too cut-up in editing and fake synching to make an impact. Worse, some were interwoven with story elements - - yikes!

So, is it worth the three great numbers, and a couple of really good ones to sit through all that confounded schlock?

Only you can answer that question.

But if you've been jonesing for a musical and/or have even the slightest interest in seeing the passing of the Camp Queen Crown from her royal highness Cher, to the new young queen Xtina, ...you will surely get your money's worth at this Burlesque show.

(Just try not dwell on how frickin' incredible this movie might have been in the hands of a talented director.)


4 out of 5.

I saw this at a promotional screening last night and was less than enthused with the final product. The biggest problem with the film, besides it's obvious tired plot, is Christina Aguilara. She's a fantastic singer, nobody can argue that, but acting just isn't her thing. She made Britney Spears' performance in CROSSROADS look Oscar worthy. It was just painful. The two saving graces of the film were Cher and Stanley Tucci, who were both great. I really loved them and they played great off each other. If you're a fan of both of them I suggest you see the movie because they're wonderful. Overall, it wasn't good but it is at times entertaining and worth seeing for a few performances. I'd wait for Blu-Ray, unless you are dying to see it.

5/10 ( C )

If Burlesque proves anything its that Paul Veroheven is the smartest man alive. If Showgirls was All About Eve in a g-string, Burlesque is Showgirls fully clothed...and with Cher.

I imagine it'll suit those who want to see Cher and Christina Aguilera in a movie together. But for those who're dragged to see it?

Hell on Earth...except for the one scene with Kristen Bell dancing around with the see-through lingerie. That was far from being hell on Earth.

*½

I actually quite liked the first half hour. The set-up was about as predictable and cliche as something you would expect in a michael bay movie, albeit in girly musical form. The dialogue carried a sincere and simplistic nature that was enjoyable and refreshing in a plot-line as hackneyed as this. Awkward humor didn't just compile until someone hung their head and shied off-stage, the silly farm girl dodged the uncomfortable situations, allowing just enough time for a slight chuckle but not enough for the audience to feel as uncomfortable as the character's are supposed to (which so much modern comedy delights in doing.) Sadly, this novel approach to the material didn't last. By the cringe-worthy seduction scene it's clear whomever wrote the beginning of the film was either fired or lost his talent midway through the 41st page of the script. Tragically, half an hour doesn't make a film, and after Cristina gets her breakthrough the movie went on a very steady slope downhill. By the end I wasn't dashing out of the theater, but I did not have interest in staying in my seat any longer, especially since the finale dragged far more than the thin story provided for. I did enjoy viewing the rich guys building/house, A friend commented he would never want to live in a place that looks more like a very fancy office building than a house but it looked great to me.

Not nearly as good as Coyote Ugly (the stories are very similar), but not even close to the train-wreck that was the Maria Carey vehicle Glitter. That's one I had to watch just to see if it was indeed as bad as people said, and I have to concur that it was. "Burlesque," while not exactly a "good" movie, is certainly a very entertaining one. I had a good time.

Christina Aguilera is a bad actress. She never once convinced me. But during the musical numbers she's quite watchable. She has a stage presence that just does not translate to an ounce of acting talent. She's good as a singer (I'm not a fan, but I can't say she's untalented as far as her musical career goes), but if she wants to continue acting in movies as well as singing she is going to need to take an acting class. I'd have to say her performance is one of the worst I've seen this year, and yet due to her musical numbers in the film, where she's quite good, I find myself unsure of how to rate her performance overall. I cringed when she was acting, but was drawn to her when she was performing. Hmm. Overall I guess she does a passable job, but I'm pretty torn on her as a whole.

Speaking of cringing, I hate to say this, but Cher..... When she first appears on stage in this movie in sexy clothing I wanted to, well, puke. I'm sorry, but she looks like a drag queen. And she's had so much work done on her face. It's just not appealing. During the rest of the movie when, for the most part, she dressed more appropriately, I didn't mind her so much. I still don't know what the fuss is about when it comes to her, but I guess it was before my time.

Cam Gigandet (Easy A) has never been sexier than he was in this movie. Wow! I've never even been attracted to him before, but here I was sold. And that ass was just delectable!

One of the main reasons I wanted to see this is because I'm a huge fan of Kristen Bell (TV's unfairly canceled Veronica Mars). She was fun in a bitchy supporting role. I would have rather seen her in the lead though.

This is definitely "guilty pleasure" territory. I'm embarrassed to say that, despite all of its obvious flaws, I had a really good time watching it, and will end up doing so again.

7/10 ( B )

Well as my thread was ruined by idiots.

Who sang better? Aguilera or Cher.

And how does there singing compare to Beyonce and Jennifer Hudson in DreamGirls?

Whose Best/Rank Them.

I kinda liked it.

Aguilera was cute/charming as the lead character, but she shouldn't quit her dayjob any time soon. It pretty much felt like an average sitcom with mediocre actors whenever they were outside the Burlesque nightclub.

The Burlesque scenes and Cher/Tucci's chemistry made the film enjoyable enough to sit through. I think I'll buy the soundtrack as well. B-




Aguilera's probably the better singer with the "better songs." Cher only sang twice (Christina probably about 8 or 9 times?), but her rendition of "You Haven't Seen the Last of Me" is the film's "...And I'm telling you" moment. She definitely stole the show with that one.

I actually think the movie would have been better if they made Cher's character the lead. Would have made for a better and more original underdog story, imo.

C

Just watch the performances on youtube, the movie is shitty.

But oh boy, You Haven't Seen The LAst Of Me, Bound To You and Show Me How You Burlesque steal the show.

3/10 -> D-

It's such a childish and amateurish film. Even when films like these fail in direction, music, performances, acting, script at least they excel in things like set decoration and costumes. But this one is even boring and uninteresting in those departments.

I only liked Cher's performance. Not that she was great, but she gave the only serviceable performance here. I love Kristen Bell but she just didn't have a chance to be good here. Nobody had a chance to be good here. Every character feels like a rough sketch. XTina is not as bad as she could've been. It's just that the material is awful and I really think no one had any chance to do good here.

It's a bad movie.

it's great time-wasting

Good musical performances but that pretty much it, although i kind of liked Stanley Tucci and Cher's scenes. Horrible acting and shitty ass dialogue :/

D

I thought it was terrific as camp. Not intentionally, of course.

it looked like it was gonna be fun but it wasnt really

maybe a little