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Before Desperate Housewives...there was Sunset Beach
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Author:  Michael. [ Sat Jun 18, 2005 11:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Before Desperate Housewives...there was Sunset Beach
Easily a cult classic of television, this horribly wonderful show feature shaky sets, dialogue that we shouldnt really speak of, and long glances [and almost psychotically long monologues where actors hold conversations with themselves] that Joey from Friends has as his acting guide.

Utterly fantastic, there was never a dull moment; it was the anti soap. When everyone was trying to discover what the hell Stefano was up to for a year on that crappy soap in America; Sunset Beach was getting people pregnant with turkey basters, slapping each other until they had to stop to apply more makeup, and killing off a character every day. I cant believe they cancelled this show for something as trivial as low ratings and general critical scorn.

The final episode was fantastic. The lead character woke up and realised that all of the shows events had been a wonderful dream. Before waking up again and realising that actually, everything did happen. Way to screw everyone around.

Everyone was beautiful, utterly fabulous and had an evil twin somewhere. Oh yeah, and if they were ugly [and werent related directly to Aaron Spelling] they'd be mysteriously replaced with a doppleganger in the middle of the week.

Some valuable LIFE LESSONS from the beach....

Turkey Basters can get you pregnant (and they never call afterwards!)
One Twins is good and the other is always Evil!
People from Kansas all live on farms.
All jewels are cursed.
Benjy Did It!
Randy Spelling can’t rap.
Dead Wives can come back from the grave.
It’s hard to distinguish Blood from Paint.
Clive Robertson should be James Bond.
You should never order waffles from Elaine’s Waffle Shop.
All Doctors are infallible.
Piers may look like fun, but there’s a risk of falling off them.
If you kidnap a baby you won’t necessarily be caught.
If you hire a good lawyer you can get away with murder.
If you make a bad job of your life someone else can step into your shoes.
Long lost siblings will always ruin your lives.
A Whipped Cream Bikini is perfectly acceptable attire.
Everyone you meet over the internet is good looking.
Covering up a murder is easier than you think.
A wedding rarely results in a happy ending.
Sometimes parents can love you too much.
Life would be easier if there were FlashBacks.
Parents never approve of their children’s chosen partners.
It’s easy to get work in Sunset Beach – even if someone’s stolen all of your belongings
Previously unmentioned siblings just arrive out of the blue.
The solution to any problem can be found at the bottom of a voodoo ladies potion bottle.
It’s easy to fake a pregnancy.
Marriages are made to be broken.
Wills are never clear cut.
Tea has magical powers.
If you are going to sleep with a priest, check for video cameras beforehand.
If there’s a tape of you having sex with someone you shouldn’t, it’s bound to end up in the wrong hands.
No one hears you plotting out loud.
Fire doesn’t burn, singe or destroy anything.
Pregnancy tests take rather a long time to work.
In the words of Olivia "It's always better to over pack than to underpack"
More advice from Olivia when your parents are away "Have at least one early night and remember to eat"
Evil jewel theifs go to hell.
Author:  Christian [ Sun Jun 19, 2005 1:58 am ]
Post subject: 
Tsk tsk. For shame. You forgot:

Do not board a cruise with several other major characters during Sweeps period.
Tidal waves conveniently capsize cruise ships during Sweeps period.
Nosy photpgraphers and roll of film containing blackmail-worthy pictures get eaten by sharks.
Sharks are a gold mine when captured and gutted - who knows? Might find a roll of film in their belly!
Author:  Christian [ Sun Jun 19, 2005 1:59 am ]
Post subject: 
HAHA

Turkey baster = classic! :grin:
Author:  Michael. [ Sun Jun 19, 2005 1:23 pm ]
Post subject: 
Other important rules


Dont underestimate the power of a dead wife with amnesia returning on your wedding day.

Dont push a dead wife with amnesia down the stairs, it brings dire conseqeunces.

Dont trust any redheads with fake breasts. They are bad news.

Its fantastic. I wish theyd bring it back,
Author:  _axiom [ Sun Jun 19, 2005 2:59 pm ]
Post subject: 
Yes it was great, but the last thing I was able to see was when they were all on an island and somebody was killing them. (I think it was the evil twin of that guy that had dead wife, or it was him), but they never showed the episode that shows who was the killer. They stopped airing the show in Croatia and laft us with so many mysteries... :cry: :cry:
Author:  Michael. [ Tue Jun 21, 2005 9:02 pm ]
Post subject: 
I wish they'd release it on DVD. Id so buy it.
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