Before Desperate Housewives...there was Sunset Beach
Easily a cult classic of television, this horribly wonderful show feature shaky sets, dialogue that we shouldnt really speak of, and long glances [and almost psychotically long monologues where actors hold conversations with themselves] that Joey from Friends has as his acting guide.
Utterly fantastic, there was never a dull moment; it was the anti soap. When everyone was trying to discover what the hell Stefano was up to for a year on that crappy soap in America; Sunset Beach was getting people pregnant with turkey basters, slapping each other until they had to stop to apply more makeup, and killing off a character every day. I cant believe they cancelled this show for something as trivial as low ratings and general critical scorn.
The final episode was fantastic. The lead character woke up and realised that all of the shows events had been a wonderful dream. Before waking up again and realising that actually, everything did happen. Way to screw everyone around.
Everyone was beautiful, utterly
fabulous and had an evil twin somewhere. Oh yeah, and if they were ugly [and werent related directly to Aaron Spelling] they'd be mysteriously replaced with a doppleganger in the middle of the week.
Some valuable
LIFE LESSONS from the beach....
Turkey Basters can get you pregnant (and they never call afterwards!)
One Twins is good and the other is always Evil!
People from Kansas all live on farms.
All jewels are cursed.
Benjy Did It!
Randy Spelling can’t rap.
Dead Wives can come back from the grave.
It’s hard to distinguish Blood from Paint.
Clive Robertson should be James Bond.
You should never order waffles from Elaine’s Waffle Shop.
All Doctors are infallible.
Piers may look like fun, but there’s a risk of falling off them.
If you kidnap a baby you won’t necessarily be caught.
If you hire a good lawyer you can get away with murder.
If you make a bad job of your life someone else can step into your shoes.
Long lost siblings will always ruin your lives.
A Whipped Cream Bikini is perfectly acceptable attire.
Everyone you meet over the internet is good looking.
Covering up a murder is easier than you think.
A wedding rarely results in a happy ending.
Sometimes parents can love you too much.
Life would be easier if there were FlashBacks.
Parents never approve of their children’s chosen partners.
It’s easy to get work in Sunset Beach – even if someone’s stolen all of your belongings
Previously unmentioned siblings just arrive out of the blue.
The solution to any problem can be found at the bottom of a voodoo ladies potion bottle.
It’s easy to fake a pregnancy.
Marriages are made to be broken.
Wills are never clear cut.
Tea has magical powers.
If you are going to sleep with a priest, check for video cameras beforehand.
If there’s a tape of you having sex with someone you shouldn’t, it’s bound to end up in the wrong hands.
No one hears you plotting out loud.
Fire doesn’t burn, singe or destroy anything.
Pregnancy tests take rather a long time to work.
In the words of Olivia "It's always better to over pack than to underpack"
More advice from Olivia when your parents are away "Have at least one early night and remember to eat"
Evil jewel theifs go to hell.
