I finally saw this.... fast forward to McCain and Obama's speeches.

Man, if I were voting based solely on sense of humor, McCain would win hands down. His speech was literally laugh out loud funny. Obama seemed like an amateur in comparison!

Best lines (in case you don't want to watch):

McCain

He claims that this honest, hardworking small businessman could not possibly have enough income to face a tax increase under the Obama plan. What they don't know is "Joe the Plumber" recently signed a very lucrative contract with a wealthy couple to handle all the work on all seven of their houses.

My friends, he doesn't mind at all. In fact, he even has a pet name for me: "George Bush".

There are signs of hope even in the most unexpected places -- even in this room full of proud Manhattan Democrats. I can't -- I can't shake that feeling that some people here are pulling for me. (pause) I'm delighted to see you here tonight, Hillary.

When a reporter asked him if Senator Obama was qualified to be president, Bill Clinton pointed out, sure, he's over 35 years of age and a U.S. citizen. He was pandering to the strict constructionist crowd.

I told him maverick I can do, but messiah is above my pay grade.

I understand that Keith Olbermann has ordered up his very own "mission accomplished" banner. And they can hang that in whatever padded room has been reserved for him. Seriously, Chris, if they need any decorating advice on that banner, ask Keith to call me so I can tell him right where to put it.

So, you know, I had fun with the media and we all know the press is really an independent, civic-minded and nonpartisan group. Like ACORN...

Anyway, we all know that Senator Obama is ready for any contingency -- even the possibility of a sudden and dramatic market rebound. I'm told that at the first sign of recovery, he will suspend his campaign and fly immediately to Washington to address this crisis.

With that, my friends, let me make way for my opponent, who tonight is making a comedy debut that I guess we could call the final test of this campaign. Now, a copy of the senator's comedy routine was left on the table this evening. And I have to confess, Your Eminence, I looked at it. Now, of course, it would be unfair -- and even a little unkind -- to put my opponent on the spot before he gets up here or to throw him off his game with unreasonably high expectations. But I do need to warn you, ladies and gentlemen, you all are about to witness the funniest performance in history.
Let's not add to the mounting pressure he must be feeling. Just prepare yourself for nonstop hilarity ..the funniest 15 minutes of your life or any other. I think he knows that anything short of that would mar the evening, insult our hosts...and perhaps even cost him several swing states. Senator Obama, the microphone is all yours.

Obama

I was thrilled to get this invitation and I feel right at home here because it's often been said that I share the politics of Alfred E. Smith -- and the ears of Alfred E. Neuman.

But I have to say tonight's venue isn't really what I'm used to. I was originally told we'd be able to move this outdoors to Yankee Stadium, and -- can somebody tell me what happened to the Greek Columns that I requested?

I do love the Waldorf-Astoria, though. You know, I hear that from the doorstep you can see all the way to the Russian tea room.

The mayor of this great city, Michael Bloomberg, is here. The mayor recently announced some news -- made some news by announcing he's going to be rewriting the rules and running for a third term, which caused Bill Clinton to say, "You can do that?"

I am also glad to see that Senator Schumer is here, and I see that he's brought some of his loved ones. Those would be the folks with the cameras and the notebooks in the back of the room.

Of course, I am especially honored to be here tonight with my distinguished opponent, Senator John McCain. I think it is a tribute to American democracy that with two weeks left in a hard-fought election, the two of us could come together and sit down at the same dinner table without preconditions.

Recently, one of John's top advisers told the "Daily News" that if we keep talking about the economy, McCain's going to lose. So tonight I'd like to talk about the economy.

Americans have a big choice to make, and if anybody feels like they don't know me by now, let me try to give you some answers. Who is Barack Obama? Contrary to the rumors you have heard, I was not born in a manger. I was actually born on Krypton and sent here by my father Jor-El to save the Planet Earth.

Many of you -- many of you know that I got my name, Barack, from my father. What you may not know is Barack is actually Swahili for "That One."

And I got my middle name from somebody who obviously didn't think I'd ever run for president.

If I had to name my greatest strength, I guess it would be my humility. Greatest weakness, it's possible that I'm a little too awesome.

Anyway, that's who I really am. But in the spirit of full disclosure, there are a few October surprises you'll be finding out about in the coming weeks. First of all, my middle name is not what you think. It's actually Steve. That's right. Barack Steve Obama.

Here's another revelation, John McCain is on to something. There was a point in my life when I started palling around with a pretty ugly crowd. I've got to be honest, these guys were serious dead beats. They were low lifes, unrepentant, no-good punks. That's right. I've been a member of the United States Senate.

Then at one of these campaign rallies, someone in the crowd started yelling, No-Bama, announcing to everyone in the room that I shouldn't be the Democratic nominee because there were far more qualified candidates. I really wish Joe Biden hadn't done that.

But at least we've moved past the days when the main criticism coming from the McCain campaign was that I'm some celebrity. I have to admit that really hurt. I got so angry about it I punched the paparazzi in the face on my way out of Spago's. I even spilled my Soy Chai Latte all over my shih tzu. It was really embarrassing.

Wow, that was great! See, I remember one of McCain's supporters questioning the negative tactic approach when McCain has a great sense of humor when talking to crowds. I definitely think that would have helped his campaign.

I thought they were both funny, and it was a nice change of pace to see McCain not being a giant douche like he's been the past month or so.

But my absolute favorite line was this one from Obama: "And I got my middle name from somebody who obviously didn't think I'd ever run for president."

"I'm a little too awesome"

HAHAHA

mccain was fuckign hysterical, and Barack was dying. Obamas was worse, but still funny, particularly the "I obviously didn tknow your grandfather, but from what John Says"