Predictably awful, but it's at least enjoyable with its gore and goofiness and Gemma's tits. I'm just glad it was rated R.

If I were to describe Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters, from the gifted up-and-coming Norwegian director of Dead Snow, as the greatest motion picture in the history of the medium, the claim would be no more absurd than the disgusting and undeserved abuse to which critics are subjecting it with their dull and misguided cataloging of of its "anachronisms" (next they will tell us there is singing in Les Misérables, too) and vulgarities. Within its own parameters, this film is, damn it, a gem. It is The Company of Wolves, Evil Dead II, Sleepy Hollow, and Time Bandits bottled, carbonated, set on fire, and exploded at a 3-D camera for an hour and a half of perverse, profane, and fabulous pop pleasure. There is so much to savor here for fans of the various genres quoted (action, comedy, fantasy, horror), from a committed, empowered, and sexy performance by Gemma Arterton as Gretel, proving herself a worthy action heroine in the vein of Angelina Jolie, to the beautiful and old-school practical FX utilized to realize the various witches and a scene stealing troll named Edward to a dynamic original score which matches step for step the film's fairy-tale atmosphere, rapid sense of motion, and mordant humor. I smiled from start to finish, and I only wish it were longer (Blu-ray director's cut, please).

A in protest

Or a B+

HANSEL & GRETEL

I loved the opening credit sequence to the film. That was very well done. I was even interested in the story overall until that dumb fake looking Troll came in even though he did have a nice action sequence. I thought the witches and witch fights were well done. I thought the climactic action sequence was a bit cheesy and over the top in a boring way. Gemma was okay. She's like a way cuter version of Mulligan but with that same look in every damn character. Renner was alright. The R rating was put to good use and we got to see nice blood and gore action. Overall, it's just an eh film for me.

Grade - B

It's fun fun fun.

Edward the troll is one of the best parts. His design is so Henson, so retro. He put a huge smile on my face.

Holy crap on a cracker, this was bad. To be fair, with a title like Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters, expectations of anything serious have to be tossed out the window. But even keeping that point in mind, there's hardly anything that's even remotely clever or inventive about the film's tongue-in-cheek approach. It's not deconstructing any of the tropes it uses, it's not outright parodying cheesy horror movies, and the anachronisms don't work because they're either too obvious (the weaponry), too lazy (the American accents, at least in Jeremy Renner's case), or too passe to provoke a reaction (ooh, look at that, they just said "fuck" again). In those senses, it's like a joke that skips the setup and jumps straight to the punchline... which, itself, isn't funny. It also doesn't help any that the actors don't really seem to know what to do with the material. Jeremy Renner has some playful lines here and there, but otherwise looks and sounds disinterested; Gemma Arterton exhibits about as little screen presence as she has in roles in past big-budget duds; the two exhibit such little trace of a bond with one another that I forgot they were siblings and occasionally wondered when the screenplay would contort a way to make them lovers (not that Renner has much more chemistry with Hansel's actual love interest, whose "twist" is so transparently obvious that some viewers will be tempted to scream "no shit!" when he realizes it); and Famke Janssen might as well be wearing a sign that says "just here for the paycheck." But if there's a saving grace to this mess, it's that at least it has the sense to realize how stupid it is; unlike Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, it doesn't regard itself with grave seriousness. Or actually, I'll cave and say that there are two saving graces: the leads do look damn good in tight leather outfits. I think the concept had potential, but the filmmakers misfire on so many levels that it ends up being far more of a torturous experience than an enjoyable one.

D+

Boo.

I believe there should be a "you whore" attached to that.

I don't think Gun has ever seen Mean Girls.

This was alright, but I was honestly expecting it to be much more entertaining than it actually was. The final battle was awesome and it wears it's R rating as a medal of honor, but some of it (especially the first half) just kind of dragged. It really could have great entertainment, but the final product was more of a rainy day Redbox rental than anything. Also, the 3D was terrible. I wish I waited to see a 2D showing because the 3D did absolutely nothing here.

6/10

Sitting through the trailer to this bullshit at the bullshit-cinema of my choice, i felt the urge to leave immediately without watching the upcoming main attraction of that evening - only then i realised that i payed ten bucks (€) for it; so i stayed ...but still infuriated and raging.

Therefore: F- for the trailer to this F- -film.

Interesting

I missed the Warm Bodies showing so chose this one instead.

I thought it was good enough. The action was decent, the music was good. I enjoyed Gemma, and while I dislike Renner, I mostly liked him here. Biggest gripe would be Mina's death. 7.0/10

This had a certain campy, completely inconsequential feel to it that made for a fun 90 minutes of distraction. Whatever.

6/10

I thought it was quite entertaining. Renner ( ) and Arterton were great. I wish it had done well enough for a sequel.

B

I never thought I was gonna like this film because it looked bad and shit; however, It's pure entertainment

I'm IN for a sequel

B

I thought it was unapologetically entertaining.

I rarely like true shit films, but this one was fun, a lot of fun

I'm actually surprised there are so many haters for this here. It's so much fun. It's not a "great" film, but it's a very entertaining 90 minutes.

B+

Agree... Funny.....nice bouncing kept me hooked..

Booby bouncing?