I believe you just dropped off your application wearing only your underwear, and they are dirty. Not the best first impression, but I kind of admire your "I don't give a damn attitude" and your lack of pants.

You shall be added to the list.

Dear Montana P.I.

It should be noted that at no point in my quote did I profess any love for Jennifer Garner or Kate Beckinsale, just that I had recently acquired posters of both parties and that I was off to "stare longingly at them".

I was not putting on a show of fake love for either woman. The stare was longing, but it was more a longing to become Tony's partner, a feat I thought would be improved greatly if I could only somehow force myself into becoming attracted to both women - hence the staring.

As you can see, Montana P.I. No fraud was in play, it was just a well-meaning attempt at self-improvement in an effort to better qualify myself for the postion.

I hope you will see fit to reinstate my bonus points in light of this new information. And to perhaps dock Michael of some on account of his inflammatory, baseless remarks.

Best regards,
Snrub

Your impressive ability to twist and manuever around an issue has been noted, and the bonus points have been awarded to Michael for being the springboard that ultimately brought this discovery about, and thereby assisting me with this process.

Good job, Michael!

Thank you, Tony. And be aware -- while I know we differ on the Wii/Xbox 360 issue, I share your hatred of Sony. And pants.

Curses!

*waves hand frantically*

Wait! Tony!

I may have commented in an earlier post that I do not care for beer. However, this was a grossly generalized statement. I do like Leinenkugel's Berry Weiss and the occasional lime with a Corona under it.

Oh what the hell - do me too.

Dear Tony,

I'm afraid extending the application period has lead certain people to believe that this thread is no better than that Z&T thread, which merely rates people. As your potential future partner, I object to the hijacking of this thread by people who just want to see what Montana PI thinks of them, and do not truly want to be a part of the dynamic duo.

Please take care of this.

Thank you,
jujubee

Actually my dog is feeling lonely today because it has been raining the whole day and he didn't play with other dogs and he's kinda sad. I just want Montana to visit him and make him happy.

As far as the duo goes... Hmm, I can make a quatro with him, that's beats your duo, does it not?

I have you on tape saying you want to replace Tony's dog.

Tony, i hate to say this. but everyone on here sucks. You need someone like me, the bad cop. I love making people fall apart. i'd fucking slap them around a bit, while u will be the good cop and have hot steamy coffee with them while confessing to a crime of passion.

I don't think you are doing yourself justice here. I really don't. Cyn as a partner, i just don't think i could take Magnum PI seriously after that. And Michael, he has a skin condition at the moment that has been going on for quite sometimes, and everytime i look at a photo I'm thinking "i don't see anything". Image is everything ok but you don't want a mental amongst the ranks.

I am more intrigued that you did not correct the claim made by Montana PI that you are a soon to be aunt because jujubee is your sister and she is having a baby.

I had good money that baba would be the first in this group to have a kid, but it appears that I lost that bet.

Can you pretend that I'm not part of Z&T and profile me? I don't want to be considered, though. Let's be honest - you're jealous of Z&T, so I'm sure you'd love to break it up and have me as your "partner."

Do you know what completely wonderful gear I get when I have a baby? My mom promised me a Bugaboo. Unfortunately, we are not sisters, and minneapple's brother is the one who is pregnant. (Mpreg is becoming more popular now a days.)

Mr. Montana P.I.

I am writing to inform you that i remain just as interested in this position since the day I applied. However, at this point, i am realizing that while your your detective skills are unquestionable, my unlimited amount of time in this world, is not. I do have other opportunities opening up for me, some with their own unique perks.

I would be interested in knowing when Mr. Montana P.I. is planning to conclude all the investigations. Positions normally come with deadline or start dates. And someone such as myself, in such high demand, cannot wait forever.

Please be assured that how serious an applicant is about wanting the job is taking into very serious consideration. For example, it was noted that Snrub showed up in a suit and tie and dropped off a nice resume; or that you wanted the job so badly you threatened me with sexual harrassment; or that The Dark Shape dropped off his application in his underwear; or that getluv gave out well thought out arguments when dropping his off.

So, whether they dropped the application off on day 1 or do it 2 minutes before the deadline doesn't matter to me, but how serious they are about the job does.

Would this wonderful new duo be needing the services of an accountant? I can "take care" of your "books."

Thank you for your correspondence. As was stated previously, Montana PI had a clear deadline to complete the process by today. However, as there was some confusion and poor information given out, we allowed for one more day of applications so that we can do a fair job. The extra day and extra applications caused the delay, or Montana PI would have met his deadline.

I know you want this process to be fair to all, and I'm certain that you don't mind waiting an extra day than was originally stated to ensure that happens.

I'll leave it up to Montana PI... though you and Korrgan are inelligable to be considered, I'll ask that he profile you guys anyhow.

Who knows, maybe we can find some useful information that we can use against you later on.

Your fair and proper reply is acceptable and i will continue to stroke my other offers in the meantime.

Once we become powerful enough, we may need your services. We may start a protection racket to earn some dough...

"You wouldn't want this thread to burn down and disappear, would you? Pay me $50 and I'll make sure that nobody gets hurt."

That's when we may need some book work, especially if you know anything about money laundering... because I don't.

Montana PI's report on insomniacdude:

Name: Insomniacdude

Profile: iDude is an old favorite of Tony's who has been around since the early days of BOM. While he'll probably mostly be remembered for a mean game of Twister that he played, Tony knows him for having a genuine unbiased passion for gaming. He is mostly easy going and keeps the discussion light and has a decent sense of humor, but he does like to throw the occassional jab to stir things up.

KJ History: Sommie has nearly 5000 posts and has been a member since the start. His production/presence is sporadic, likely as a result of a demanding schedule that comes along with college. He frequents the gaming forum, but also spends a lot of time discussing movies.

Compatibility potential: As mentioned above, insomniacdude is a true gamer - he's a rare breed that rarely displays biases toward a particular console or brand. He has the good taste to list Halo 1 among his favorites, and does play the Xbox 360, as well as the PS3 and Wii - all because he won the "roommate lottery". A check of his movie taste would show that they often agree - for example, they see completely eye to eye on the Grindhouse flicks, and he lists the Matrix, Empire Strikes Back, and Monty Python and the Holy Grail among his all time favorites. However, it's not all good in movie land...

Possible pitfalls: ...iDude also lists the LOTR trilogy as his all time favorite movies - a trilogy that put Tony to sleep in between being scared and frightened by Hobbits and Elves. And, while he normally gets it right in the gaming department, he is so completely wrong about Halo 2 that it isn't remotely funny. Another potential problem is that he just isn't a consistent poster, and there are times where you won't see him for days.

Bottom line: While he has an impressive gaming resume, and a great deal of respect from Tony, I worry about the lack of posting at times and feel that he would not be able to carry the work load that would be required in helping Tony fight the good fight.

All the original applicants are done. Now we just have the new batch left:

Gullimont
Demandred
Rod
The Dark Shape
be.ready
getluv

time permitting: Korrgan and Zingaling

I thought beer was more pertinent in this case. Ah, well.

Also! Let me direct your attention to the left of this post - I'm a full fledged member now!

Montana PI's report on Gullimont

Name: Gullimont (AKA: Gullimont-Kyro)

Profile: Gullimont is a hard drinking Irish man but, that's redundant - saying he's Irish was probably enough. He's one of the few that has met baba in person and lived to tell the harrowing tale. Except for some bizarre behavior while being really, really drunk, he's a likable fellow with a very good sense of humor.

KJ History: Gullimont has been at KJ for less than 2 years, but is a rising star. With over 10,000 posts he has wormed his way into our hearts and even shockingly stole the "poster of the year" award from Tony's clutches in this year's award race.

Compatibility potential: G-monty has an Xbox 360 and is an avid gamer. While Tony and he have never officially hooked up over Xbox Live, I've reviewed the data logs at Microsoft headquarters and feel confident that Tony would be victorious against Gulli in head to head matches. Tony likes winning on XBL, and that would make him happy.

Potential pitfalls: Another one who cites the LOTR trilogy in his top movies. His rising power could be going to his head, and I fear that he would not realize he is supposed to be "Sonny" to Tony's Cher, or "Oates" to Tony's "Hall". They've never actually teamed up before, and actually run across each other on the forum less than you'd think they should or would.

Bottom line: The wattage from this duo could light Las Vegas for months... back to back poster of the year winners would be an interesting angle (and the #1 and #2 finishers this year). There really isn't a proven track record to speak of for these two, I sense a connection could be made and would be successful, but am slightly concerned that it has never happened up to this point.