Yeah, but I guess I'm almost the same way with Star Wars.

1. Attack of the Clones
2. Revenge of the Sith
3. Return of the Jedi
4. A New Hope
5. The Empire Strikes Back
6. The Phantom Menace

There are such things as wrong opinions

The first two posts make this the worst page in any thread in internet history.

Not as strong as Smaug but still effective and entertaining enough to warrant watching.

The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

Colour me disappointed. It breaks my heart that this film will tarnish the memory and appreciation that I have for this wonderful and epic saga. The Battle of the Five Armies perfectly showcases a lack of material, multiple anti-climaxes, bad storytelling, and the least epic ending to a trilogy there has ever been. Changing the title from There and Back Again to Battle of the Five Armies, one would be forgiven for looking forward to a monumental finale, but it is patchy and limps over the finish line instead of blazing through it like The Return of the King did. 'Rushed' is how I would describe this production, that's certainly how it felt. The battles are small in scale and short on time. There was a scene where the orcs are wiped out by eagles carrying men that turn into bears, which lasts about 15 seconds. Then we get minutes worth of needless monologues. The showdowns are somewhat effective but they felt more impressive 12 years ago in The Return of the King. There is no epilogue regarding Sarumon, or closer regarding the Arkinstone (so I guess Luke Evans kept it?), Smaug is finished off within a few minutes of the film starting, and for a wizard, Gandalf doesn't use any magic, instead he just hits people with his stick. The invasion of the town was very claustrophobic, which affected its impact. The final ice duel was cool, but a little too late to make up for the losses.

The last two films could have been condensed into one. There just wasn't enough to warrant almost 6 hours. An Unexpected Journey and Desolation of Smaug captivated me. I entered Middle Earth and I didn't want to leave. I was never on board with Battle of the Five Armies. It felt cold, as if Jackson just doesn't care anymore, and wants it to end.

C+

1. The Return of the King A
2. The Two Towers A
3. An Unexpected Journey A-
4. The Desolation of Smaug B+
5. The Fellowship of the Ring B+
6. The Battle of the Five Armies C+

LMFAO!!!

God, you're so right. It felt weird, as if I had missed something in the previous two films.

It didn't come first in my screening last night.

It didn't come first in my screening last night.

Agreed. The film could have been such a lean romp, but they devoted time to needless scenes like the henchman, like the Tauriel romance, like Luke Evans' kids etc., and not enough time to awesome things like the eagles carrying bears (that end up winning the battle for them) which gets 10 seconds of footage.

I can't even muster the strength to review this, but dam this sucked.

The Strider reference doesn't even make sense. Judging from the end of Battle, it seems like it's 50 years before FOTR even occurs (Wasn't that a point in FOTR where Gandalf noted that the ring has stopped Bilbo from aging so much) Strider wouldn't even be born yet if that was the case.

And move over Jar Jar. Alfrid the Unibrow has come to town.

Awesome unibrow.

I believe Aragorn is a child when The Hobbit is set. He is in his 80s during The Lord of the Rings.

I think the movie does show the Arkenstone being placed in Thorin's grave? Or maybe it doesn't? I really do not remember, depite having seen it twice.

There was no scene regarding Thorin's grave. The last time we saw him was on the ice plateau. I can only judge what I see. It is entirely possible that the Chinese version is cut slightly, although I cannot imagine why it would be.

Wait what? I never read the books, do men live like hundreds of years in middle earth?

He is of Númenórean descent, so his lifespan is several hundred years rather than the length of a usual man's. Maybe J. R. R.'s version of the lifespans of the people living in antediluvian era in the Bible.

It's a fantasy film. Kind of stupid to get hung up on something as trivial as ages.

I am a huge fan of the Middle Earth films and loved AUJ and DOS. I have to admit though BOTFOA was the weakest of the three. Why? Because it just kind of... ends. After all is said and done, I had a lot of lingering questions about what will happen to all that dwarf treasure. Will the residents of Lake Town get their share? Will the Elves get their precious trinkets? Will the Dwarves keep it? What exactly happens to Bard, Tauriel and Thranduil? For the original LOTR movies to be criticized about having way too many endings, this one felt like it didn't have enough. Of all the films, this is the one I'm most eagerly awaiting an extended edition for because it needs those gaps filled in. Also way too much use of the comic relief character Alfred, and some of Legolas stunts did get a bit over the top.


Still this is not a bad movie at all and I still love the world that Jackson has portrayed on screen. I am sure the EE will go a long distance in making this feel more complete and satisfactory. In the end if this is truly the last Middle Earth movie I will be very sad to never revisit this world again.

This movie is better on a rewatch, but still the weakest in the trilogy. I will definitely still buy the Extended Edition though.

Wow. It's amazing that it can get from bad (An Unexpected Journey) to worse (The Desolation of Smaug) to whatever the hell this piece of shit is. It's terribly uninspired, badly plotted (nearly plotless) and an excuse for almost 2.5 hours of action that someone, somewhere thought it would look cool. Which maybe it would if the CGI was great. But it's really bad at times. A lot of green screen scenes are glaring in their obviousness.

I'm sad that The Hobbit got this kind of self-indulgent, egoistical, bloated adaptation. It's a pretty good book that could be a wonderful movie if done right.

1/2 / ***** (F-)

F- does not exist. F is the lowest it goes.

Well, of course F- exists. You just write it and there it is ... existing. But it is highly superfluous.

By that logic, I should start rating things Elephant and Bubble.

Go for it. And it would be no more attention-whoring than _axiom or Witherberry's systems attempt to be.