Wow. The first V/H/S film is uneven, but contains moments of genuine genre inspiration, and I found the second to be an improvement and a truly satisfying example of an anthology or portmanteau film. The third (and final?) entry in the V/H/S saga, however, is a disaster beyond description. So many negative adjectives are apt here. Boring. Flat. Idiotic. Incoherent. Uninspired.

There are three short films and, as always, a type of wrap-around storyline returned to throughout. The framing-device scenes defy description for me because I have no clue what went on despite watching the film without distraction around an hour ago. There is an O. J. Simpson-style police chase on the news, and people are racing to film it for YouTube, and there is an ultra-vague sense of insipid social commentary ("Modern society is voyeuristic and tech-fixated!"), and a group of Mexican caricatures stab each other at a barbeque, and I have no clue. The trio of self-contained stories are also awful. At least the first two begin with interesting conceits. In one, a ne'er-do-well becomes an overnight sensation as a stage musician, but secretly pays a sinister price for his triumph. In another, a scientist opens a portal to a parallel universe and meets another version of himself who may or may not be benevolent. Both ultimately fall flat due to a toxic combination of soap-opera-caliber acting, bargain-bin computer-generated imagery, juvenile humor, and rushed storytelling.

The third story, however, is easily worse. A humdinger of ineptitude, it concerns a group of skaters who travel into Mexico and run afoul of a cult. I felt searing pangs of shame simply watching this segment, knowing I spent actual money to rent it on demand. More time is devoted to the crude teenagers' trashy, lingo-heavy banter than actual horror, and when the actual set piece begins, it undermined by confusing staging and a tragic absence of conviction. Avoid and flush V/H/S: Viral.

F

Oh wow, that's bad....especially since I agree with you on the first two.

V/H/S: Viral

A bit shitty. Some interesting ideas, but nothing scary in the slightest. Some cool, if unspectacular, visuals all done with boring CGI. Bonestorm was probably the best segment, followed by Parallel Monsters, then Dante the Great, and last would be the on-going Vicious Circles which was just pure shit. But they are all forgettable, quite flat, and badly conveyed -- I get it, it's supposed to be hand-filmed, but it was so choppy that it just wasn't a pleasing watch at all.

D+

No way! Bonestorm is the worst. I felt embarrassed watching it.

The magician one has a decent concept, but the execution is so, so crap. And the story is too sprawling for a horror-anthology vignette.

I actually grew fond of the skater bois. One thing which was disappointing is that a few times we got close to seeing some boob, and then it held back.