This contains some of the worst shot action sequences I've seen in a long time.

Dreadful, though not as painful as Transformers: Age of Extinction simply because it is an hour shorter. A central problem, teased by the advertising and borne out entirely by the final product, is the computer-generated rendering of the Ninja Turtles as six-foot, steroid-injected ogres. They are ugly and therefore never endearing. The film does have two points worthy of praise, however: William Fichtner is a gifted character actor and cannot help but lend his scenes as Benevolent, Wealthy Corporate Executive Who Is Clearly Secretly Evil a bit of dignity and gravity, however absurd the dialogue and scenario, and while most of the chaotic action sequences are interminable and numbing, the third-act chase and fight down the side of a snowy mountain contains genuine excitement and spectacle.

D

P.S. Michelangelo wanting to bang April O'Neil is creepy.

P.S.S. Ha ha at the in-house Michael Bay product placement in the form of an enormous banner for the upcoming, long-delayed Project Almanac.

Creepier than Will Arnett? He has no excuses.

Pretty bad. It's a shame because I'm a fan of the original films but I just couldn't get entertained by this and the Turtles do't really act like the Turtles until near the end when it's too late for redemption.

Are they not turtle-y enough for the... turtle club?

This is not a great film by any means, but I did think it was an enjoyable distraction. It wasn't as big and pretty as the first Transformers, but its story wasn't quite as bad. I liked that they did not put Megan Fox in skimpy clothing though. It makes her much more believable, though she is still never more than serviceable here, but I guess that could be the script's fault. I did not hink the Turtles were ugly like many here. Totally forgettable, but worth a rent.

C+