It's Jason Statham's Commando.

In other words, it's pretty much the greatest movie ever.

A++

Fuckin' Crazy!

...and if you have difficulty with the title of this review... then ya better fuckin' stay away from the film of this title...

Crank: High Voltage is way, way, way, way, way o u t t h e r e .

A bit 'o the ol' ultraviolence mixed with the all titties missing from last week's Fast And Furious whipped up with some wackyass editing and then soldiered on through with the stellar lead performance by now fully-crowned king of action of this decade, Jason Statham - - he is (indeed) the man. Not to mention the raft of great supporting performances here: Amy Smart, of course, this time stylized though still fully grounded ; ) when she needed to be; Bai Ling (!); Dwight Yokum (!); David Carradine (!!) as Poon Dong (!!!); Corey Haim (?); ; ;

Really... this is the only way they could go with this franchise - - right over the top - - and then straight through the wall on the other side.

An excellent amped out follow-up to the brilliant first film in the Crank series.

Gawd knows what horrors/whores await us in Crank III...

out of

Seeing this tonight. I'm excited

BJs Grade:

Z

Pure shit, among the worst films I have ever seen.

Plays even more like a cartoon than Shoot Em Up.

Especially if that cartoon is Fritz The Cat...

One thing I didn't like - the cutting off of the nipples. That's all kinds of wrong.

The dude from the first movie, back as the dude from the first movies brother, was one of the better parts though. The timing of his full body tourettes outbreaks could not have been better.

It was more over the top than I ever imagined. And it was fucking AWESOME!

***.5/****

probably put this somewhere in the C-/D+ range. It was just too fucking ridiculous.

I actually felt physically tired after watching it. The words utterly bathshit bonkers don't even begin to convey this film.

I had a blast watching this. I really don't remember the last time I've laughed so hard in a movie theater. Definitely better than the first and I'm happy that Amy Smart had a bigger part this time around. Bring on CRANK 3!

7/10 ( B )

I went to see Crank: High Voltage for a second time tonight, and I couldn't help but think that I underrepresented the amount of hilarity that is contained in this film - - it is an out-and-out comedy, with action stylings. It is laugh out loud funny all the way through. Seriously, the sparse crowd I saw it with tonight were slapping their knees and spitting their Pepsi - - C:HV is simply too funny.

Crank: High Voltage is this year's Speed Racer, so I can certainly understand why audiences didn't embrace it in it's original theatrical run - - it's just too darn advanced for the average slow movie viewer. And I don't mean 'slow' insultingly, just the 85% of modern audiences that process information too slowly. It's not their fault, they're just born that way.

The virtuoso hyperediting is itself a character in the film - - it is an empath POV wired for maximal adrenal release.

The writing too is a crudely honest dialect of fucking reality - - eg.: "Were you speaking Cuntonese?" Or in it's situations... like Chev's girlfriend landing on her "feet" as a stripper complete with a low-level pimp, less than 3 months after she thought he was dead.

This is easily the best movie I've seen in the first third of 2009. As I've said, it's ahead of it's time, and yet is a direct descendant of such virile ancestry as Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels - - it is a modern masterpiece.

For the uninitiated, I have to strictly recommend that you see the original Crank first (if you have the choice). As a pair, they are an unrivalled set of knockers on the doors of perfection - - I grant C:HV my highest commendation (in addition to the perfect grade of 5/5, I awarded it the first time I saw it on opening night).

Mark my words - - the Crank franchise will once again rise from the dead and come back to haunt the doubting non-believers who missed it's antic joie de vivre. They have failed to witness the twin births of an eternal cult classic movie franchise, and will weep on their knees as they bear witness to the fact that: Crank Lives!!!

It was awesome, maybe not as polished as the first. As this one seemed a little bit Thrown together, but there was some absolute ridiculous, and I can't believe that was David Carradine. I enjoyed it.

Crank- AAAAA
Crank 2- A----

Fucking atrocious


D

...'nuff said.

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

Better than the first.

Well to be fair, for a Michael Bay movie it's brilliant.

that's like saying "well, for a britney spears album, it actually contains talent." You compare it to anything michael bay, it is one of the greatest movies ever, compare it to every movie and especially every major blockbuster over the last 80 years of film, its mediocre fun.
This on the otherhand, I have not seen, and probably won't, but I wish I'd gotten there before my theater lost it, based on bradley's advice.

Fucking fun. I'm surprised.
Crank 1 disappointed me for some reason. Maybe it was the shitty pirated DVD.
Anyway this was damn well good. Can't bring myself to give it an A though. A- it is.

Even better than Crank. It's 85 minutes of pure adrenaline, possibly the most batshit insane film since Evil Dead II. This is the movie Shoot Em' Up wanted to be. I would love to see a third Crank, but with High Voltage being such a disappointment at the BO it might not happen. If this was the last Crank it was a hell of a way to go out.


B+

one of my favorites!

No. Shoot 'Em Up is still better than this. Obviously it was miles better than the first Crank which is also behind this.

WRONG

IMO Shoot 'Em Up doesn't even compare.