LOL

Z- Infinity (sorry, loyal)

Wow this was really bad, but I was laughing throughout, so I'll give it a D-

So many terrible things about it, like the prosthetic leg that requires charging, the father being captured, blatant rip off of six sense with its use of color, that sex scene was hysterical.

Given to a competent lead actress, a decent director who clearly isn't in love with himself, and a rewrite in the script, this could've been halfway decent. Instead we're left with an absolute fucking mess. I am not exaggerating when I say this just might be the dumbest film I've ever seen. It's not the worst film ever made (nothing will ever beat Glitter), but this is easily the worst film of 2007. The entire movie is just dead. Lohan gives her worst performance yet which is saying something, the whole Audrey/Daktoa thing just isn't interesting, and the last scene of the movie is just insulting. And when I first read what the alternate ending was, I thought it could improve on it, but then I actually saw it. Well, lets just say it isn't any worse as this one was, because both endings end on the wrong note. Actually, I guess it kind of doesn't because the film is ultimately over and that ends up being the best part of the film.

To continue; we've happened to come across the one stripper who doesn't actually take any clothes off (how she managed to last a night without getting fired is beyond me). She also happens to have no sex appeal during any of the stripping scenes. It's not because she doesn't take any of her clothes off, she just kind of rolls around and does nothing. She looked as bored as we are watching it. The sex scene is one of most awkward, random, and least erotic (which is sad because you can tell the director is trying) sex scenes I've seen, and when we realize the twist at the end, the scene takes on a whole hilarious new meaning. That shouldn't be too awkward.

And then of course the acting. The only person who comes away unscathed is Julia Ormond. What the hell is she doing in this? Everyone else is just horrible. Lohan is no doubt the worst, but the two lead FBI officers (especially the woman) are just awful. They're trying so hard to come across as being serious that we just end up being taken out of the film and focus on the overracting.

This was just awful.

No Stars