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| Dating profile (if I wasn't married) http://www.worldofkj.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=10&t=72483 |
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| Author: | Algren [ Tue Nov 12, 2013 12:56 am ] |
| Post subject: | Dating profile (if I wasn't married) |
Quote: MAN SEEKING WOMAN fitting to the following criteria: Age: 24-30 Nationality: Asian (not Indian), Latino (not American) Height: 5'7-5'10 Appearance: Thin, not bony, a bit of meat is fine, but not a big, fat, fatty. Skin: White, yellow (not black) Breasts: Medium-Large Language: Must speak English. Do not even bother if you do not speak English. May also speak other languages. Attitude: Positive and energetic. Athletic. Racists preferred. Must not: - Yawn, cough, sneeze without using hand. - Pick nose. - Use phone in my presence unless to answer or make a call. - Be politically correct. If you are, forget about it, love. - Ever wear daps. Must: - Be able to break convention. - Be partial to blowjobs. - Shower regularly. - Keep the house tidy. - Cook. - Always wear high heels in public. Wedges are permitted. - Occasionally wear skirts and tight business clothes. - Like dress-up. - Have nice hands and feet. Likes: - Movies - Food - Eating out - Exercise Dislikes: - Christmas - Gays - Money If you fulfill even 90% of this list, and providing you are attractive to me, I will treat you like a queen. |
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| Author: | Libs [ Tue Nov 12, 2013 2:07 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Dating profile (if I wasn't married) |
12 Years a Slave: Algren Dating Profile Edition |
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| Author: | Thegun [ Tue Nov 12, 2013 2:16 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Dating profile (if I wasn't married) |
Trying way too hard, and besides, it's not legit without a photo. I want to see the person, people beg to model for them. |
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| Author: | Algren [ Tue Nov 12, 2013 7:52 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Dating profile (if I wasn't married) |
I'd been thinking about doing this for a while. You really know what you want when you've been married. I'd be picky as hell. |
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| Author: | movies35 [ Tue Nov 12, 2013 10:05 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Dating profile (if I wasn't married) |
Umm... what? |
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| Author: | Algren [ Tue Nov 12, 2013 10:09 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Dating profile (if I wasn't married) |
I will probably update this from time to time. Maybe produce some graphs to see how well my actual wife is doing. It could be an annual gig. |
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| Author: | Argos [ Tue Nov 12, 2013 11:05 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Dating profile (if I wasn't married) |
Which of the criteria does your wife fit? |
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| Author: | David [ Tue Nov 12, 2013 11:18 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Dating profile (if I wasn't married) |
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| Author: | Chippy [ Tue Nov 12, 2013 3:06 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Dating profile (if I wasn't married) |
Holy fuck just kill me after reading this shit. |
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| Author: | Price [ Tue Nov 12, 2013 3:25 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Dating profile (if I wasn't married) |
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| Author: | Libs [ Tue Nov 12, 2013 3:28 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Dating profile (if I wasn't married) |
Price wrote: Even a blow up doll has standards, Price. |
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| Author: | Dr. Lecter [ Tue Nov 12, 2013 4:02 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Dating profile (if I wasn't married) |
This gave me a good laugh. |
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| Author: | Excel [ Tue Nov 12, 2013 8:13 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Dating profile (if I wasn't married) |
Libs wrote: 12 Years a Slave: Algren Dating Profile Edition 
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| Author: | Algren [ Wed Nov 13, 2013 12:48 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Dating profile (if I wasn't married) |
Dr. Lecter wrote: This gave me a good laugh. 
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| Author: | Groucho [ Wed Nov 13, 2013 2:19 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Dating profile (if I wasn't married) |
Chippy wrote: Holy fuck just kill me after reading this shit. Yeah, a profile like that just screams "I'm a selfish, racist asshole" doesn't it? |
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| Author: | David [ Wed Nov 13, 2013 4:00 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Dating profile (if I wasn't married) |
Let me defend Algren against Groucho just by posting an image:  Nothing else needs to be said. |
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| Author: | Dr. Lecter [ Wed Nov 13, 2013 5:47 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Dating profile (if I wasn't married) |
Kind of a cheap shot, no? |
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| Author: | Chippy [ Wed Nov 13, 2013 6:02 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Dating profile (if I wasn't married) |
Cheap jokes is right in David's wheelhouse. |
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| Author: | Groucho [ Wed Nov 13, 2013 6:14 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Dating profile (if I wasn't married) |
Yeah, because people who write humorous fantasy and make money at it clearly must be assholes, right, David? Oh wait -- my mistake. People who make fun of those people are the assholes. Sorry, I got that backwards. |
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| Author: | David [ Wed Nov 13, 2013 6:17 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Dating profile (if I wasn't married) |
Shit just got very real very fast. |
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| Author: | Libs [ Wed Nov 13, 2013 6:39 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Dating profile (if I wasn't married) |
Ew, David, stop allowing Algren's douche stank to spread to you. It's a sickness that must be contained. |
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| Author: | Caius [ Wed Nov 13, 2013 10:27 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Dating profile (if I wasn't married) |
What are "daps"? |
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| Author: | Groucho [ Wed Nov 13, 2013 10:55 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Dating profile (if I wasn't married) |
David wrote: Shit just got very real very fast. |
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| Author: | The Dark Shape [ Wed Nov 13, 2013 11:46 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Dating profile (if I wasn't married) |
Awww, Algren. You're nice enough to let her pick her own heels. I'm surprised you trust a woman to be able to do that much. |
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| Author: | Algren [ Thu Nov 14, 2013 1:30 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Dating profile (if I wasn't married) |
Magnus wrote: Algren wrote: Must not: - Use phone in my presence unless to answer or make a call. oh but she can do that shit outside your presence? wtf man. grow some balls and keep you bitch on a leash. This all came about because she plays on her phone when we go out for a meal, and I think it's terribly rude. Two people are there, one of them playing on Internet/games, and the other is silent. We could easily chat. Magnus wrote: Algren wrote: Must: - Always wear high heels in public. Wedges are permitted. so she can be taller than you? what is wrong with you. bitch should always be below you. It's because it makes them look sexier, and wearing heels works out the legs so they never get flabby. Plus, I like short girls, so wearing heels will make them more 'my size'. Magnus wrote: Algren wrote: Dislikes: - Christmas - Gays - Money I have no issues with this. 
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