Michael. wrote:
Sarah Jessica Parker Gellar is in bed and Jason Behr's hair loosk so nice! I want to run my fingers through it, but am wondering why he is wearing shorts instead of boxers. Tease.
| World of KJ http://www.worldofkj.com/forum/ |
|
| Watch With Michael: The Grudge http://www.worldofkj.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=10&t=44105 |
Page 1 of 1 |
| Author: | Michael. [ Sat Aug 16, 2008 5:35 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Watch With Michael: The Grudge |
Ive watched this trash before and it scares the bejingles out of me, but here i am again, watching this trash on tv. |
|
| Author: | harry713 [ Sat Aug 16, 2008 5:39 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Watch With Michael: The Grudge |
Boooo hisssss! The Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake is far scarier for a modern horror film. I don't watch that movie. Like ever. |
|
| Author: | Michael. [ Sat Aug 16, 2008 5:42 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Watch With Michael: The Grudge |
Bill Pullman looks fucking constipated and stoned on the balcony. I like how his wife or whatever is basically 20 years younger than him. He's jumped, and her ass just looks over the balcony all concerned like "I wonder if he's okay down there? Why didn't he use the elevator? Silly goose!" And Titles. Some sort of hair monster. I can easily admit to this film totally making me brick it. Not The Ring brick it,but need to caca pretty badly. It also stars Sarah Michelle Gellar and Jason Behr, whom i started to find attractive in this movie just as my gay stock was taking off. Okay, cute asian girl is cycling to work. Oh and heres the crazy spaced out retarded lady who shits and pisses herself. Lovely. Yoko, the cute asian tucks her into some sheets free of piss and shit. Such a caring type. She then steals the house phone to call her friends, because she is unprofessional. You can tell this was an AMERICAN remake. Yoko blatantly is a nosy cow and walks into lots of different rooms in teh house. Her ass needs to learn some respect for other peoples property! Now im not going to lie, this bit kind of makes me need to peepee. It's pretty scary bajingles. Yoko is going into the closet, i bet the bitch was looking for some Louis Vuitton. Instead she finds deadly ghosts who kill her or whatever. I hate this bit for many reasons. a) She has a lighter! Cute youthful asians should preserve their looks. b) She investigates the attic when she hears scary sounds. Is her ass on crack? Whenever you hear scary sounds you lock your ass in a lounge and put on Shiny Happy People! Dumb slut deserves to die. |
|
| Author: | Michael. [ Sat Aug 16, 2008 5:43 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Watch With Michael: The Grudge |
Sarah Jessica Parker Gellar is in bed and Jason Behr's hair loosk so nice! I want to run my fingers through it, but am wondering why he is wearing shorts instead of boxers. Tease. They must have a lot of sex. She tells him to come back to bed, as she set the clock an hour ahead. He is fine with this. In this situation I would kill the bitch because no-one has the right to deprive anyone from another hour of sleep, even if it does involve sarah jessica parker gellar straddling you. |
|
| Author: | Michael. [ Sat Aug 16, 2008 5:52 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Watch With Michael: The Grudge |
Sarah Jessica Parker Gellar tells Jason Behr about a buddhist ritual. Dumb american probably doesnt even get it! She needs to go home. She arrives at a care centre which has an American boss. This movie does not make sense. Not enough asians!!! He briefs her on piss-and-shit herself woman. He then leaves for lunch with a boyfriend. Gay. They play some music they stole from What Lies Beneath here and cut it with a montage of SJPG looking fucking lost around Japan. She arrives at the scary house. We know it's scary because it looks fucking scary? I mean its scary to me because of the cinematography and score, but for whatever reason SMG looks fucking concerned. I don't know why, but if my ass had a bad feeling about a house i'd be like "BYE Y'ALL IM OUTTTIE!!!!" She rings the doorbell and no one answers. Usually this means you go home and eat some Oreos and watch Oprah, but dumb bitch just lets herself in. She sees the house is a shitsty and takes it upon herself to wonder about the house. She finds shitty pissy lady and realizes she shit and pissed herself. She introduces herself and pissy lady ignores her because she doesnt give a fuck, shes basically more concerned about the nasty crap going on in the house. Or maybe shes replaying the greatest Americas Next Top Model elims in her head. Karen goes upstais which we've generally understood as being a bad idea now. And she also has a good wonder around the house. These nosy bitches totally deserve to die. She finds a taped up closet and decides that when she hears FUCKING WEIRD NOISES coming from it that she should open it up. It goes without saying that she is blonde. Blondes have no fucking idea! In this closet she finds a book and a scary pussy and little boy. The pussy doesn't like her. The little boy is kind of cute though. I want to take him home and smother him with love. |
|
| Author: | Michael. [ Sat Aug 16, 2008 5:56 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Watch With Michael: The Grudge |
She reads the book for a little while taht she found in the attic. I like to call this book WAR AND PEACE. The little boy is totally following her ass around the house and staring. She thinks it's creepy but I'd be glad that he hadn't stabbed my fine self to death by now. She should also think of herself as lucky that the scary long haired bitch isn't after her. Oh wait, we see scary long haired bitch behind the frosted glass. Fuck this movie still gets my balls a little tigher than usual. She walks into the room and shitty pissy is losing the place. She says shit about scary hairy and suddenly the roof is all hair and shit. Theres some croaking action going on here. By this stage i have goosebumps and I dont even know why! Im supposed to be lolling but im just crying and rocking. |
|
| Author: | Michael. [ Sat Aug 16, 2008 5:59 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Watch With Michael: The Grudge |
I dont know what the score is with hair ghost lady but i do know that she lacks both titties and a sense of humour. She is serious bizness like a Gene Hackman movie or something. |
|
| Author: | Harry Warden [ Sat Aug 16, 2008 6:09 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Watch With Michael: The Grudge |
Michael. wrote: Sarah Jessica Parker Gellar is in bed and Jason Behr's hair loosk so nice! I want to run my fingers through it, but am wondering why he is wearing shorts instead of boxers. Tease.
|
|
| Author: | Michael. [ Sat Aug 16, 2008 6:11 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Watch With Michael: The Grudge |
And here we start with the time jumping bullshit. Hey i wanted a horror movie not fucking Pulp Fiction. Someone who looks like Piper Perablo walks around a house with someone from LOST and Kadee Strickland. Shitty pissy woman is upstairs freaking the fuck out at a roof. This would be a good time to leave the house but they see their mother being totally weirded out by a blank spot in the middle of nowhere as being like a good omen and whatever i guess? When my dog looks at a blind spot somewhere i just freak the fuck out and want to run for miles. Meanwhile downstairs estate agent man finds the bath full of dirty water, and within the water there are the hands of a tiny child. All perfectly normal. As he drains the bath, the family interrupt him to let him know they will take the place. Yeah i guess in the time it took for them to remove their mother from freaking out upstairs to coming downstairs that they forget that it was fucking weird and creepy and were distracted by the nice Asian architecture or something? The next day we get to see Kadee Strickland looking butch and angry and unkempt. Maybe she spent the night bumping vadge with Michelle Rodriguez. Idk. We can establish she left America against her will for her husbands career. Dumb bitch should take tips from Heidi Montag the Feminist Icon. He isnt even hot enough to leave America for, she deserves to die for this lapse of judgement. She spends the day wondering about Japan smelling noodles. This is my dream day. Noodles are the best food ever. Noodles deserve a national holiday in Japan. I think she gets a thrill out of smelling noodles. Anyway she comes back and proceeds to fall asleep on the couch because she is fucking lazy. She is awoken by noises and sees a mess all over her house. She blames pissy-shitty lady who isn't looking so happy about it. Kadee soon notices footprints which lead upstairs. This is not a good sign. Why do they follow this shit? My ass would be running for the front door with my cell. I wouldn't even bring shitty pissy lady. It's too late for her anyway. She hears running and sees hands and shit so obviously the natural response in the situation of home invasion is to investigate further. Dumbass! She is all kinds of dead and she only has herself to blame. Later that night ugly bastard guy who made Kadee leave America and ultimately die comes home to find Kadee paralyzed on the bed. She starts croaking and shit. Theres some creepy ass stuff going on with the little boy. He doesn't look so well. Maybe he has sleeping issues. Im worried about him. |
|
| Author: | Michael. [ Sat Aug 16, 2008 6:20 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Watch With Michael: The Grudge |
Gay care guy comes in to find shitty pissy dead now. Thats too bad, i liked her lazy ways. SJPMG is rocking herself to sleep in a corner. The police diagnosis of her? "Very Shaken" Thats polite speak for "Fucking crazy because her ass was scared into a new dimension of hell!" One of the asian policemen said "empowya" instead of "employer" but Im not judging him, just giggling a little. I think i'd find that sexy if i was screwing him. The Police do some top investigative work ie wondering about and picking things up. The younger, hotter asian finds a picture of the Piper Perablow girl and he says "Cute girl. Id love to suck on her nippies!" They try to find the house mobile. They eventually find it in the fucking scary attic with the dead fucking couple in the attic. This makes me uncomfortable because its fucking scary.  I love how in movies they have to shine the torch around like 84 times directly infront of them before they find shit. They also find the bottom of a jaw. Its probably Jessica Albas. It fell off after all the BJs she gave for roles. |
|
| Author: | Harry Warden [ Sat Aug 16, 2008 6:22 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Watch With Michael: The Grudge |
Do you write movie reviews? If not, you should. Hilarious 
|
|
| Author: | Michael. [ Sat Aug 16, 2008 6:28 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Watch With Michael: The Grudge |
Piper Perablo/Carrie Underwood wannabe is walking down a corridor and her ass looks scared, so she trots off into the starcase. Her brother calls to croak down the phone disconcertingly. She isn't thrilled by this, beacuse time is money in her life and he is a TIME WASTER!!!!! Suddenly the lights start going off in the floors above her so she shouts "is anyone there?" She sees scary hair girl creeping up the stairs so she runs back in the corridor to see the girl basically peeping out from the staircase. She is rude because instead of saying hello and asking if she can help her find a stylist for the makeover she so desperately needs that bitch just runs off scared! Rude. In the first sensible moment of the movie she gos to the security guys. This is where my ass would be, locked the fuck up ina police cell under 24 hour watch. The one guard goes off to try and find the scary girl and Piper Underwood or whatever is watching that shit in the security monitors. She is not thrilled by it. She decides to, wait for it, go home. Generally when a ghostly curse is chasing me around public places late at night, Im guessing going to the one place ill be completely alone is not going to be very high on my agenda. She seems to finally relax until she gets a phone call. Why even answer that shit? Bitch you have voicemail! Matthew calls to ask to be buzzed in. HE ASKS FOR HER DOOR NUMBER. I may be crazy but don't grudges and ghosts and shit just know this kind of thing? Like i was always pretty sure scary curses are on top of the whole data proection act. In addition, the Grudge girl makes Piper disappear into her bed. It's like narnia but a lot less fun and a lot more in need of a brazilian. |
|
| Author: | Michael. [ Sat Aug 16, 2008 6:36 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Watch With Michael: The Grudge |
My battery is totally going to die in a minute. Ugh! Oh well. Essentially this is the rest of the movie. Sarah Jessica Gellar is dumb and decides that, since she can't seem to shake the disturbing images she is seeing, she'll just go on back to the house and try to get to the bottom of this mystery! Jason Behr looks fabulous and eventually dies. I'd totally hit it. Asian Powiceman continues to investigate that trash and I cant remember what happened to him. Secondary characters usually die though, so lets assume that hes Hairy Lady Fodder. I think the scariest shit in the movie is at the end though when hairy lady totally did some Olympic Weightlifting and is coming down the stairs all disjointed and shit. Yes they raped that from The Ring but who gives a platypus cock? It is still scary! I give this trash an overall B-, mainly because its pretty stupid and outside of a theater experience its not worth watching that much, and has terrible replay value. That said, i still totally fucking shit myself in the theater, and wanted to see Jason Behr and Sarah Michelle Gellar naked SO FUCKING BADLY throughout the whole thing. Ugh. SO badly. |
|
| Author: | Korrgan [ Sat Aug 16, 2008 7:29 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Watch With Michael: The Grudge |
harry713 wrote: Boooo hisssss! The Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake is far scarier for a modern horror film. I don't watch that movie. Like ever. TCM '74 >>>>>>>x1,891,345 TCM '03. I luv The Grudge. It's so stupid retarded. |
|
| Author: | roo [ Sat Aug 16, 2008 8:56 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Watch With Michael: The Grudge |
Michael. wrote: Ive watched this trash before and it scares the bejingles out of me, but here i am again, watching this trash on tv. The only thing that scares me about The Grudge is that SMG plastic surgery! |
|
| Author: | Libs [ Sat Aug 16, 2008 9:11 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Watch With Michael: The Grudge |
I found The Grudge genuinely creepy upon first viewing in theaters. Later, I came to recognize it for the silly little movie it is. I mean, it's entertaining, but not so much with the creepiness anymore. And the acting is really bad, I can't remember a lead performance as lifeless as Sarah Michelle Gellar's in recent memory. |
|
| Author: | getluv [ Sun Aug 17, 2008 12:53 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Watch With Michael: The Grudge |
SMG was good. i luv her. fuck u fuckers. |
|
| Author: | Libs [ Sun Aug 17, 2008 12:56 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Watch With Michael: The Grudge |
getluv wrote: SMG was good. i luv her. fuck u fuckers. I love her usually. Not in The Grudge though. |
|
| Author: | getluv [ Sun Aug 17, 2008 1:01 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Watch With Michael: The Grudge |
Libs wrote: getluv wrote: SMG was good. i luv her. fuck u fuckers. I love her usually. Not in The Grudge though. but that was a bad movie anyway. but at the time everyone was like "OMG, SARAH THE GRUUUUGE IS SOOOO GOOD". it made $110m at the BO. |
|
| Author: | harry713 [ Sun Aug 17, 2008 4:39 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Watch With Michael: The Grudge |
SMG = Krysta Now |
|
| Author: | DP07 [ Sun Aug 17, 2008 5:53 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Watch With Michael: The Grudge |
You paid a lot more attention to the movie than I did. 
|
|
| Author: | getluv [ Sun Aug 17, 2008 7:27 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Watch With Michael: The Grudge |
is it wrong that i want to watch Michael when he watches a movie. |
|
| Author: | Michael. [ Sun Aug 17, 2008 7:41 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Watch With Michael: The Grudge |
getluv wrote: is it wrong that i want to watch Michael when he watches a movie. I actually get totally into laughing at them or being scared by them or crying my shit out. I love movies. I love bad movies the best. |
|
| Author: | getluv [ Sun Aug 17, 2008 8:14 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Watch With Michael: The Grudge |
Michael. wrote: getluv wrote: is it wrong that i want to watch Michael when he watches a movie. I actually get totally into laughing at them or being scared by them or crying my shit out. I love movies. I love bad movies the best. drama queen |
|
| Page 1 of 1 | All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ] |
| Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group http://www.phpbb.com/ |
|