Wicked


This was actually the closest category of them all.

Should we rename this into Best Casting next year to match with the oscars?

For next one ... we shall do ... Best Cinematography!

Probably the moviest of all the categories. Cinematography is so cinematic that it has the word cinema in it.

The nominees for Best Cinematography are

The Brutalist
Challengers
Dune Part Two
Nosferatu
The Substance


And the KJ goes to....

Dune Part Two

God tier cinematog here. No surprise on the winner.


Lets loosen things up a bit next and go with Funniest Comedy!

Whats the difference between the christmas alphabet and the normal alphabet?

No L.

The nominees for Funniest Comedy are

Deadpool and Wolverine
Hit Man
Ricky Stanicky
The Substance
Wicked

And the KJ goes to...

*Stares directly at the Camera*

Deadpool and Wolverine

Flame on!


Enough with the giggles, its time for the goosebumps. Scariest Horror is up next!

If we were still on the comedy category I might say "the scariest horror of 2024 was ... the world outside!" But were not so instead I'll just say ...

The nominees for Scariest Horror are

Alien Romulus
Late Night With The Devil
A Quiet Place Day One
Smile 2
The Substance

The KJ goes to!!

Smile 2

At first when I see you cry, it makes me Smile. That should be in the needle drop category but for some reason neither movie has used it yet.

Fittingly, since Smile 2 is a musical, we shall move on to more music with Best Original Score!

Just wanna use this time to give a shoutout to Black Bag's score which should definitely be here next year!

The nominees for this year's Best Original Score are

Challengers
Dune Part Two
Flow
The Substance
The Wild Robot

And the KJ goes to?

Challengers

Second win for the movie and also the second win for Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross. Those guys are good at making music for movies!

Gonna take a short break (10ish minutes) to eat and make sure I didn't accidently skip any of the lower categories. Then we will return with writing, acting, direction and of course the biggest prize of the night - Best Picture!

I did miss a lower category!

Apologies to the editors. You are a stupid idiot and this better never happen again.



The nominees for best editing are

Anora
Challengers
Dune Part Two
Strange Darling
The Substance


And the KJ goes to

The Substance

That sounds about right considering the concept of the movie is all about editing lol.

OK NOW we can move on to writing with the best adapted screenplay

So I feel like, not only were these stories well adapted, but alot of these screenplays improved on the original material.

The nominees for Best Adapted Screenplay are:

A Complete Unknown
Dune Part Two
Hit Man
Wicked
The Wild Robot


And the KJ goes to...

Dune Part Two

Chani would probably approve of this win. Count Fenring not so much.

Lets flip this baby over to the other side for Original Screenplay!

Audiences: "There aren't any original ideas anymore. DERRRRRR!!!"

Yes there are, please support them.

The nominees for Best Original Screenplay are

Anora
The Brutalist
Challengers
Flow
The Substance



And the KJ goes to...

The Substance

Shouldn't be much of a surprise, but Substance does show that it is the top in its relationship with Challengers.

Next up... lets go with Best Supporting Actor.

Behind every good man is another good man trying to either make him look better or stab him in the back and take the eyes of the audience. Im looking at you Denzel!

The nominees for Best Supporting Actor

Javier Bardem - Dune Part Two
Yura Borisov - Anora
Mark Eydelshyteyn - Anora
Josh O'Connor - Challengers
Jeremy Strong - The Apprentice

And the KJ goes to

Josh O Connor



Speaking of tops ... Ole Joshy boy definitely would have been one if not for Zendaya coming in.

Next we shall do ... best supporting actress!

These ladies of leisure led us through ... life? I guess alliteration would have been more appropriate for the writing categories.

The nominees for Best Supporting Actress are

Monica Barbaro - A Complete Unknown
Rebecca Ferguson - Dune Part Two
Ariana Grande - Wicked
Felicity Jones - The Brutalist
Margaret Qualley - The Substance


And the KJ goes to...

Margaret Qualley

for The Substance.

Try and picture me biting my lip in a sexy way while announcing that.

Next, hmm, I know the oscars like to go Director -> Actor -> Actress -> Picture ... so might as well follow the pattern. It will make things more suspenseful hopefully.

ACTION!

The nominees for Best Director are

Sean Baker - Anora
Brady Corbet - The Brutalist
Coralie Fargeat - The Substance
Luca Guadagnino - Challengers
Denis Villeneuve - Dune Part Two

And the KJ goes to...

Denis Villeneuve

for Dune Part Two


Lissan al ghaib did the unthinkable and turned Dune into a proper prestigious blockbuster.

Best Actor will be up next! So close to the end!

Whoever wins this has to keep their speech under 10 minutes. No exceptions.

The nominees for Best Actor are

Adrien Brody - The Brutalist
Timothee Chalamet - A Complete Unknown
Timothee Chalamet - Dune Part Two
Daniel Craig - Queer
Glenn Powell - Hit Man

And the KJ goes to...

Timothee Chalamet

for

A Complete Unknown


It really was Timmys year with these two pictures and Wonka still going strong. You'd think vote splitting would hurt him but it really didn't.


Two more to go! Its time for the baddest bitches to compete for the best actress!

All the pretty girls walk like this

The nominees for Best Actress are...

Cynthia Erivio - Wicked
Mikey Madison - Anora
Demi Moore - The Substance
Naomi Scott - Smile 2
Zendaya - Challengers

And the KJ goes to...